Do Cancers Ever Settle?!
My relationship with my Cancer girl finished last month, and one of the problems I faced was these drastic changes of mind. Not 'mood swings' as being a Scorpio myself, I know all about these.
It was the going from 'i want to be with you forever' to 'I'm not sure this is working'
I'm not asking for an 'answer' to these particular swings, just when they settle?!
Who is Mr or Mrs perfect? I'm not being big headed but I did treat her very well, I loved the girl! I still do. We did have our problems, there's no denying that, how big they were though is still in question for me, but she did say that I was the best boyfriend she ever had, and as Cancers tend to be truthfull and compare previous partners/relationships to current ones, i'd say she was being honest.
When, or indeed if ever? Do they properly settle?
There's a big mixing pot that there mind stirrs away at, does this ever ease?
I experience this too, in the early stages but then make a decision! Once the decision had been made in this case, I just concentrated on us after finding out that she was worth the effort.
I guess you have it hear it from the cancer men and ladies...frankly, I experience the same with my cancerian (man though)...my moon is scorpio so I inherit the suspicious behavior...and i am sometimes doubtful of this talk about being 'the one' or 'forever' and so forth...when we have a fight he is quick to walk out...and generally exudes these actions/feelings of being fickle and unreliable...weird. i dont know what is it that they want..
I think communication is vital for relationships, but it's difficult for Cancers to talk about negative things through fear of hurting their loved one?
I feel for her, she clearly has an overactive mind or thought process, which I do too but like I said I knew she was a good choice. Having said that I feel for her does make me want to help her, but I need to think about me and having to be with someone who isn't sure on things isn't nice. I look for and want commitment and security but this faded so maybe it had run it's cause. Maybe we could go again sometime, but now it's gone and I need to move on.
This may sound a little stupid, being on "TAROT.com" and all, but i have never used Tarot cards, and i don't understand them either!
Sorry for my ignorance!
I think they do, but it takes time.
I'm a female Cancer and I honestly don't think that you can say that Cancers don't settle from only looking at her sun sign alone. She could have a lot of independent signs in her that make her very flaky and commitment phobic. Cancers are very stability-oriented signs, so her having Gemini, Saggitarius or Pisces (etc) in her wouldn't make her sit still.
That's true FireCrab. I'm not too sure what her other signs are. I know she is a Leo rising, but I cant remember her moon sign!
It just seems like someone will actually have to be perfect in order for her to accept them. I have my faults...no doubt about that, but who is this perfect partner?! I don't blame her for finishing things if she wanted to, but can't help but see things from this point of view.
At the end of the day I want her to be happy, I really do and she wasn't with me.
You should use this site or cafeastrology to input her birthday to see what combinations of signs are in her based on her natal chart it might not be the Cancer in her that makes her indecisive. If she has a lot of Leo or air in her, its going to make her very finicky, picky and bossy about what she wants.
I am not sure the whole story but the part you said
"It was the going from 'i want to be with you forever' to 'I'm not sure this is working'"
you said she is Leo rising, I bet that's not the only placement in Leo she has. Or 5th house.
do her chart here for free http://www.0800-horoscope.com/birthchart.php
it's not about settling down. it's more about expectations.
something that really matters to her, you didn't do enough with. while things that don't matter to her, you spoiled her with. you need to have a LOT of communication with her. Find out every detail of what she wants, don't spoil her until you know for sure what she really expects.
It's not about giving it all, it's about giving the right thing the right measure, not too much not too little. being Leo rising alone, Leo is dominant in her chart already
so yeah if you still want her, do your best to find out what she really wants. don't wait too long, the sooner you strike the better while she still has feelings for you. send her a msg, if she never replies to you, then you know it's totally over.
Thanks for the replies. The thing with us was, she thought we were both holding each other back, we weren't going anywhere, she got bored and wanted to do much more with her life.
I actually want to do a lot more things and experience the thrills that life has to offer, but there's just something there which creates an awkwardness. We are both nervous about new places so maybe it's that?
I felt like this is where we could lean on each other though and give the confidence and reassurance that we both needed.
I'm having a bit of a hard time with this today, i miss her very much but we do need breathing space. It's been 48 days since we split and WOW! at typing that! I'm stunned it's been that long.
I just don't know when a healthy time would be for me to contact her, or even if it would be healthy at all?! As i said, i am having a hard time of it today, so maybe i need to forget about her and just live my life. If i still miss her after that, then maybe i should make contact again?
Having said that...will that look like i have tried to find someone else and couldn't, so i'm going back for that and not for love? I still do love her though, she is a breath of fresh air to my otherwise negative view on 99% of the women i come across!
I'm from the UK so i had to find a seperate site to work out my birth chart. Unfortunately can't work out her birth chart because i don't know what time she was born!
I've listed the dominant characteristics, positive and negative with each sign too;
House 1 - Libra - Harmony & Indecision
House 2 - Scorpio - Tenacity & Craftiness
House 3 - Saggitarius - Kinship & Naivety
House 4 - Capricorn - Isolation & Austerity
House 5 - Aquarius - Dynamisn & Impulsiveness
House 6 - Pisces - Flexibility & Anger
House 7 - Aries - Ardour & Impulsiveness
House 8 - Taurus - Serenity
House 9 - Gemini - Lucidity, Scepticism & Insouciance
House 10 - Cancer - Despondancy & Anguish
House 11 - Leo - Friendship & Touchiness
House 12 - Virgo - Isolation
hmm I don't know where you get this chart but it tells enough about her
7th house Aries as it says you need to be more impulsive, adventurous. doesn't mean you have to go to new places, just do fun and different things together.
5th house Aqua she is easily bored. loosen up and try new things with her. 2nd house Scorp can be uptight holding on to familiar things. but 3rd house Sag she will be thrilled at new ideas.
also what do you do for fun together? do you do outdoor stuffs? what genre of movie do you watch often? take her to watch a different genre. she might not like it, but she'll notice you make the effort. If you can cook, invite her to try different dishes than the ones she likes. you'll have a lot of fun, regardless it's delicious or not.
you can hold on to pride, not contacting her, or you can call her and start a new phase in your relationship. it's your choice. she may have found someone else anyway, 11th house Leo is often popular attracting new friends and romance can develop easily from there.