IN LOVE WITH A GEMINI MAN HELP PLEASE!!!
I am just taking it slow with my gemini dude. He has been hurt severly in the past. So I think he is scared. Things are going well so far. We talk when we can. He seems chilled so it's all good. He hasn't really said anything towards what he feels which I didn't expect for quite sometime. Actually I don't expect him to feel anything towards me ever but back in my mind I still hope.
But I don't crowd him. I let him have his space and honestly I think it freaks him out because the old me would have been up his butt like ;why aren't you talking to me blahblah blah. That kinda thing like kinda backing him into the corner. But I'm just chillin' and being me and not really bothering him unless I have something to say. But I'm still in love with him. It just sucks cause I can't tell him how I feel.
People, I screwed u0 somethign fierce with this man. We had a huge arguement about a year and ahalf ago. Shattered my world. I did somethings that were not nice and was hurting from a and made some bad choices. He was my best friend for 3 years. We had a huge fight.
Well about a couple weeks ago I messaged him..and he actually responded so I guess thats a good sign. I want us to me together and knwo it will take time but I need to know what to do to bring his heart back to me. I didn't realize how much I was inl love with him until he was gone.
I am a sagattarius female and he is a gemnini man. Im pretty blunt and brutally honest but have been told I have to kinda play the game concernign him.
He todl me he ahs a girlried now buit i know he is lying. I knwo the girl he is talkign about and she is no where near his girlfriend good friend but she is engaged to antoher man and lives in a different state. My gut tells me he is doing this to protect himself.
I want him to trust me enough to open his heart again. When we split he reacted in a way that was 'just firends' anger so im a little confused.
I know it will take time but it seriously hurts on a deep level that I cant tell him that Im in love with him and how he feels about me. I just want him.
I miss him so much any pointers as to bring him back around on a romantic level?
Hi there DragonFlyFlame
Firstly, this man is a bit of a dreamer. I get that he appears to put potential partners on a pedestal, then once he is involved, he can't cope with the reality of who they actually are. This lady he maintains he is/was in a relationship with (the engaged one), well I think you may be right about this. He wants what he can't have, which is either someone unattainable or an image of what he imagines love to be.
I get a very childlike energy from him, like he's almost a new soul on this earthly plane, walking around wide-eyed, innocent and a bit naive. He's a lovely person, but not overly reliable. He's also super sensitive, with as said above, very idealistic attitudes to life, love and friendships as well.
I honestly feel that this rift in your relationship has left you with a residue of his childlike wonder, and you are feeling broken up as you want that back in your life. Yet, he has given you that gift and you can work on it. I feel that you're a very serious person who sometimes takes things on board a bit; shouldering burdens which should be shared, and that you are a real warrior-like soul who goes at it with a "can do attitude". Sometimes though, you need to let it simply BE rather than try and work it out.
That said, there is hope with this fellow if you can simply let HIM be for a time; let him come back when he's licked his wounds and stopped fantasising (which could take some time) and is ready to be real. Reality is not high on this fellow's agenda I feel, and whilever that is the case, you won't be able to maintain a proper relationship with him; at least not now.
So, my message here is: patience and trust. He will be good for you, but not now. I honestly don't see anything coming out of this for ... I'm getting "two" ... could be two years, two months ... not sure, but I think it might be more like years. He's very young in his persona, as I implied above, and will learn and grow a lot. Thankfully, he's a quick learner and what might take some TWENTY-TWO years, may only take him two
Be there as a friend for him. Oh, and the other big message I get is please tell him how truly sorry you are things ended as they did. This will stroke his ego some and make him feel loved, cared about and significant. All things a childlike person needs!
If you are prepared to play a bit of a game with him, you just might come out winning in the end. Otherwise, you may need to count your losses and let him go. His insecurity will be the thing which tests your devotion to him and your tolerance, for want of a better word. You like quick answers and decisions, whereby he tends to drag the chain a bit and go "oh, well ... maybe. ... dunno".
So how patient and tolerant are you prepared to be? That is the question for you my friend. He is a sweetie though adn I can feel why you are so affected by him. He comes across a bit like Peter Pan to me
Yes my closing message here is: adopt patience, maintain tolerance and allow your inner child to have a say, either with or without this fellow. As said, that childlike energy is the one big gift he's given you.
Don't know if this of help to you; please let me know as feedback is always important and appreciated. Take care of this little Gemini soul; he's VERY fragile ...
Wow, very much right on. Well unfortunately I was asking some questions of him. I think we got our situation crossed last weekend or two. We (again) had a miscommnuication and ended up in a arguement and we haven't spoken since then.
My gut and intuition are telling me let him be and he will come back around when he is ready. Last time, I went to him to apologize because it some essence it was my fault so I felt the need to so I did. This time? I believe he owes me an apology, he took what I said of context and he flipped it around but didn't bother asking me to clarify. Argh
I do respect him, I do care for him quite a bit and i care about his well being and I am trying to be his friend. But yes it is irritating, and I am working on the patience aspect because I have non (Sag here.)
But like I said..this time around I feel I should wait it out and have him come to me. He seems to really like the chase and yes I am very niave on that because i really don't know how to play the game. I am up in your face kinda honesty but I am learning that being always out in the open doesn't work sometimes.
Do you ave any insight to this arguement we had and how it might pan out? I do my tarot (I have a gift I read them quite well) Everything is pointing to patience and waiting and Iw ill have the outcome I want. Intuation tells me if things show up in threes that is the key. And everything is saying to wait it out and he will come to me, that is the key I getting. I have to learn tomake him come to me. It's just difficult.
Him and I do have a great time as friends. Only when it goes past a certain boundry does it get into petty disagreements and such. But when it's light and fun we do very well together. And yes, he has showed me so many things about being light and airy instead or steady burning like a fire. I miss him so much it hurts sometimes. I want to show him I can be there for himwith no strings attached but it's difficult because I also have that tip of my heart still hoping for a miracle. I have never been so spiritual close to someone before. I see so much good in him and his positive points that the bad points seem to dissapear. But he has been there for me in my time of need and have tried to be there for him but he 'seems' to not like to lean on anyone but he does share private things with me.
Again any insight this time? I would greatly appreciate it.
Oh and the girl he said he was with that was his 'girlfriend'..when I finally found an opening to question him about it he acted as if he never said anything but knew exactly who I was talking about...interesting..very interesting.
I am a sag female and my ex is a gem. We used to argue like a house on fire too but we really cared for each other. My ex liked the fact that I was open about how I felt about him but it did take me a while to let the cat out the bag. I can say they are very understanding and objective beings. He always used to see things from my prespective when I got angry and understood why, it took me a while to see it from his. and he still says that to me now til this day. Just talk to him about everything, get it off your chest and see where you go. no harm in trying.
But I do find them very sneaky though! Not going back to a gem againnnnnnnnnn!
This little guy is testing you big time Ms DragonFly So insecure is he, that he's throwing anything he can at you to see how much you'll take from him. Goodness, what sort of childhood did he have?? Musta been very traumatic for him to feel like this, as Gems I know are pretty at home with themselves, not overly insecure and loudly state their opinion - which is gospel in the Gem world - and never apologise for much ... Quite honestly, what CiCi says is fair enough, although I'd say this in defence of Gems: if you tell a Gem a secret, that secret is buried with them, probably because they forget it as soon as they're told it, but hey, who cares in the world of secrets?
This argument you had; I feel you hit him in the jugular with whatever you said and he 's now "bleeding" profusely after lashing back at you with something just as, if not more, hurtful as you gave him. I think an apology is owed but not just by you! He has to get out of this drama queen attitude he's got and realise that it isn't just the world according to HIM. Again, I see this in those Gems I know - as much as I love 'em (one's my 15 yo daughter) - they truly think they are the centre of attention AT ALL TIMES and ain't no-one gonna tell 'em different.
I'm getting the message here "don't chase him" which if memory serves, further validates the message you've been getting. Leave Mr Pan alone for time being and he'll soon see how wonesome 'n' cold his life has become without you in it to keep him warm
Goodness, but I'm getting a HUGE mothering instinct from you - you just want to take care of anyone and everyone who's ever been hurt badly, don't you? Just don't forget about yourself in the meantime, and try to realise that not all are going to react the way you'd like, especially this little fella ... and he knows it ... GOOD LUCK, hope this helps you some!
Yes, it was very hurtful what he said..he said he wasn't interested and it was never gonna happen. But he keeps saying that. Basically he was told something by another source, it was a lie, he barely knew this person that told it to him but he believed them over me. I still don't understand why he couldn't have just asked for clarification ont he issue. (That was our first fight)
With this one, he kept bring up the past saying because I lied to him about my son (long story but I did it to protect myself unwed mother here when I had my son and raised ina catholic family so there ya go lol) So I was afraid to tell him this fearing he would judge me. I didn't put faith in him and I think that made him angry.
As far as teh other situation, I had to move back with an ex..I DID NOT GET BACK TOGETHER with and he believes otehr wise because I had no place to go. I tried to get ahold of my gemini to ask his advice ont he matter but he never responded back to me at all so i just my life in my hands and just did what I coudl to survive. Apparently he is still hung up on that. Why I don't know. That's the thing I do not really knwo if he ever or has feelings for me now and he is just covering them up. I would like to believe that the way reacts so 'violently' there has to be feeling behind it right?
Idk, all I know is I have sever tolerance for him because I am, like you said, tryng to show him not everyone is going to hurt him. I have tried to be so gentle with him, but liek you said boy does he try my patience.
My issue is now when..when I am going to hear form him lol. I kinda alrady apologized about the way I came across and said I didn't mean how he took it. Iw as just how shoudl I say this..diarhea of the mouth and just writting to vent kind of. So yeah lol. He took it to personal. I just simply asked him not to do somethings that Id dint think were good for our friendship right now (certain things he says). Basically I am trying to show him he doesn't need to make certain commentaries in order to keep my attention or have my friendship and he just doesn't seem to get that. yes I have hope for more but first and formost I want him in my life as a friend.
I just wonder if he misses me as much I miss him sometimes. Because I can never tell.
Bah Gems are silly
Chris1962 - I wanted to give you an update on how everything was going.
For the past two years my gemini and I have been talking, and we became very close friends again to the point we talked everyday for hours upon hours, we even got into a lot of talking about the past and cleared up a lot of things which I think brought us closer together. He was very supportive and good to me, he even seemed happy that I had found a decent man to be with that made me happy and he said he was happy for me, but I could still feel the under currents of attraction between us. He agreed but he said that he would not dishonor me by making any moves or doing anything about because I was with someone, of course I am the same way I would never cheat on anyone...BUT then Last Decmeber (2011) My gemini male started getting very quiet and pulling into himself, he started ignoring me, not responding to my calls or emails and then forgets my birthday which for the past 2 years he hadn't forgotten, he would always return my calls and I had the feeling he was more comfortable with me then he had ever been. Then one day he was gone....he deleted me from all his friends list, we hadn't fought, we hadn't argued, nothing out of the ordinary had happened. About two days later after he dissappeared he finally messaged me accusing me of something I didn't do, again...the past few arguements we had I always saw it comming this time, it was like being punched in the gut and I am having a hard time dealing with the loss of his friendship and honestly I am just down right confused. He was going to go to my wedding and everything. After I responded to his accusation saying I didn't know what he was talking about (he never enlightened me what he WAS talking about) he said he was pissed cause I expected him to apologize after letting my friend write an email saying what a n a hole he was. I didn't know show wrote it until after he said something and that all she was doing was defending me. Then he says that if I keep harrassing him and bothering him he was going to file a restraining order against me. I was dumbfounded! Then about 4 months ago I get a thing from the postal services on my door saying I have a package in the office, thinking it is from ym future in-laws I go pick it up and see that it is from him. He sent me a dagger he had promised to make me years ago, and this beautiful frame that had real dragonflys incased in glass. (I love dragonflys and he said that when ever he saw them he thought of me) and he had also sent me a dragonfly coffee cup. I was so confused. It took me 5 days to write a thank you note to him...because manner overrid my anger and he has never responded.
What does all this mean? Can you give any insight? I would much appreciate it. thanks.