Cancer man withdrawn
Hi I'm a young black and white visioning Scorpio.girl
I've been dating my cancer man for over 2 years now, and last September he went to University. I know he hates it there he misses the home comforts, his friends, his family the usual. And we've been having a few problems lately, well i say lately we've always been an intense couple, but its make or brake now, when ever he comes home from uni its like we've fallen in love all over again, talks of love and marriage so on... then as soon as he gets back he completely changes, he snaps at me when ever i try to talk to him and he says he just hates me asking questions about stuff but its so hard to get him to have a conversation with me these days. I was on Skype to him today for a number of hours today just being myself positive and happy and he's just been completely unresponsive I have given him tones of space and free time but he stills seems on another planet when it comes to me, he speaks to his friends normal and happy and then speaks to me like im just an annoying little creature he'd like to swat, I don't want to say he's cheating on me because I dont believe he would do that, but I'm starting to wonder what the hell is wrong with me I send him messages saying how much I love him and I'm his biggest fan and all i get back is x or my last one which was exactly this ME: """Hey hero just checking that your doing okay, Ive sent you lots of love and kisses hope you get them in time for v-day all my love your biggest fan xxx"""" this was after he spoke to me about moving his course els where so i sent him a nice message to cheer him up the next afternoon and his response was this CANCER MAN "" ? X "" and that was it for hours soon following the empty 4 hour long skype call where he didn't even try to make conversation and every time i tried to talk to him he snapped at me, but he was talking to his friends at the same time and he was fine with them i asked him why that was and he just snapped and said "because we're doing something!" which i dont get . in the end i just gave up and said nicely and calmly and normal that i was going to go and watch some crappy telly and drink tea (which was our thing, sad and young I know baring in mind this man is 27 this year) and then all of a sudden he was energetic and sad to see me go saying that he loves me and so on so forth and blowing kisses, he also sent me a message saying sorry for being moody. (now I know what your all thinking by now, is this girl for real he said sorry yada yada) he plays poker every now and again with his flat mates, mainly a girl and a boy who he gets on with best due to closeness of age and he mentions this girl often he knows all about her and her friends but when it comes down to the blokes its just yea, yup, I dunno ask him...etc... I have spent the last two years trying to understand this man unforgettably its that kind of business i will never get done haha but this is a new one im afraid he's slowly withdrawing for me and running to some one els because he misses our strong physical connection and he's slowly forgetting we even have one I would very much love some one to tell them im crazy and its all in my head but unfortunately there is never a straight forward answer for anything especially when it comes to cancers I love him with all my heart and I will do anything to keep him happy even if it means ill be unhappy and he knows that so why is he being to withdrawn when it comes to me and fine with every other fucker... excuse the french.
not to mention we got matching scorpiocancer tattoo's not but 3 or so weeks ago, I will be pissed if he backs out now, serves me right for doing such a stupid and permanent thing I suppose
i have a theory...and maybe I'm wrong, but he doesnt know why he is upset, but I think it's because he is far away from you, it stresses him out and brings him down...but even HE doesnt know how to verbalize...try to be patient, continuously reassure him adn comfort him that you're there for him, he needs to hear that and be appreciated probably..
Thanks victimofcancerian I guess I just have to keep positive and reassuring him but some times i think he gets fed up of hearing me telling him how much I love him, I know it certainly feels like it some times.
well then simmer down for a while...completely disconnect and detach and see if he comes to you...if he does, then you have your answer. these guys are so protective of their emotions and hearts...but if they feel yiou're slipping away and they really love you, then they will fight for you till the end...
vircheery last edited by
Sadscorpio, once he decided that you are the most impt in his life you will the see the attentiveness and sweet side of this cancer ..
for instance myself have been going thru these turbulent periods and i did what i have done to save this and now he could feel and see the effects of what i'd done ..
From begin distance and withdrawn from me and now HE IS BACK..
But i daren't show my heart too easily just keep track if any cope up i will prepare to evade again for i cannot afford to begin hurt yeah even a slight hurt to me i will back off and he has to wait patiently anyway he has paitent..
Typical cancer always get what he cannot gets.. try mia and you will see him appearing again,
You guys have been spot on I decide today that I wasn't going to run after him any more and just left him to it. He text me and I just gave him the kind of response he's been giving to me all week, then he rang me saying something's up but refused to tell me what it was, anyway to cut a long story short he left me in the end, which I've been expecting all week I could feel it coming and although I was upset I strangely felt relieved. He just said "I'm leaving you" and as I told him before, that I wasn't going to stop him if he left me, I didn't I just said okay and hung up......
Minutes later... I had numerous phone calls and texts from him, which I wasn't expecting as he's been so cold lately. When I eventually picked up it was just me giving him 20mins worth of a piece of my mind, and he FINALLY! opened up to me about everything that's going on with him put his feelings on a plate, I was quite proud of him, although I didn't tell him, as that would be like give a dog a treat after it took a dump on your rug.
I have no doubt in my mind that it will happen again but at least I'll know how to deal with it when it does. If he leaves me and doesn't come back next time then I will know not to waste me time chasing him, and move on.
Hmmm. I am still figuring Cancerian men out...they're a riddle really. But something tells me that you were being tested probably? I mean who changes their mind immediately seconds afterwards? I'm glad you worked things out...I really don't know what to tell you. What bothers me is that these men complicate and confuse everything when it could be so simple and easy and beautiful...if only they just stop over analyzing, over feeling, over criticizing, being over sensitive and generally nuts! You need plenty of patience...Taurus7 seems to be doing well with a cancerian male (i just wish she shared the recipe hehehe).good luck!