Oh, the Complicated Pisces Man...



  • I've had a crush on a good but casual Pisces friend for a long time (but only recently realized how strong it was). I'm a Capricorn-Aquarius cusper (January 21). We went to university together, and he now lives across the country, but we still sort of keep tabs on each other through FB. We send each other goofy little links.

    In uni, when we had classes together, he'd often hang around me if I was off on my own. At that time, I saw him as a friend only, and had crushes on other guys who I believe were into me, as well. I recall a few instances where guys I liked would make their way over to talk to me, but then he'd show up and they'd quickly turn tail. Or they'd shoot miffed looks our way if the two of us were joking around on our own. I never felt as close to him as I did with my other male friends, but we had a lot of common interests, and got along great. He got along with EVERYONE. He wasn't a big flirt or anything, but just a sincere, nice guy, who was just as comfortable hanging around girls as he was with the guys.

    I never made any indications regarding how I felt. Nothing ever happened between us in uni, and we parted ways after I gave him a hug and a friendly peck on the cheek (I think I felt his arms tighten around me when I gave him a kiss!).

    He recently came to visit, and a bunch of us got together. He seemed to be more eager to catch up with the guys than anything, but I definitely felt as though he was teasing me the most of all the girls (of which there were only three, including me) that evening. I also recall this one moment when at dinner, I was telling a funny story, and after I was done and everyone laughed, he shot me what I felt was this lingering gaze. I'd never been looked at like that, before. Maybe it was just wishful thinking because of how strongly I feel about him, but for about 2 seconds, I felt as though I was the only person at the table with him. He had the warmest look in his eyes, and the kindest smile ever. I've heard stories about this so-called "Pisces gaze". I dunno, it's hard to explain.

    A few days later, I sent him a message about how glad I was to see him. I was going through some emotional trauma at the time, and I told him how lucky I was to have such a kind and sincere friend, etc. When getting back to me, he filled me in on the other details of his trip (he was in town for a cousin's wedding). I didn't even ask about how the rest of his trip went. He told me about his family's wedding, as well as some unfortunate events that took place during the trip. So I thought that maybe this was a good sign, that he was filling me in on some of his own personal details, as well as giving me something to respond to, rather than quickly acknowledging my message with a short response, and then just dropping it. He also seemed to brush up his language more. He isn't by any means unintelligent or crass, but the response was filled with more eloquent words, as though some thought had gone into it. It wasn't a casual, buddy-buddy message like the others I've seen him send his other friends.

    I sent another reply some time later. His latest response was a lot shorter though, with little for me to hook on to, apart from telling me to keep him posted on my graduate school applications.

    Perhaps he was worried that I took his first message as a desire to open up a dialogue, and wanted to nuke the conversation lest I think he might like me "like that"? Maybe he's just busy with grad school (the final stretch)? Maybe he's just being mercurial? I've heard that Pisces run hot and cold.

    As far as his romantic life goes, I don't think he ever dated in uni. His profile has listed him as "single" for as long as I've known him, but he's very aloof, and never seemed interested in chasing girls. I guess there's always the possibility that he's gay, but I'm pretty sure he's straight. Maybe he just doesn't want to start looking for a mate.

    So I don't know. I feel as though I'm reading into this way too much, that he's just a naturally friendly person, that there's totally nothing there, and that I shouldn't even bother.

    Advice?



  • What's his birthdate?



  • 16/03/1986



  • This relationship can bring out both your secretive sides. The matchup is likely to become, among other things, a repository for all sorts of hidden information, not only about yourselves but about others. Not surprisingly, you two often show a special interest in gossip, reading the paper and watching the news, since much of what you see throws added light on your private archives, and perhaps enriches them. Should the relationship discreetly keep such information to itself, your preoccupation with collecting such material could be viewed as just a harmless hobby, but in fact this information is often revealed at certain opportune or inopportune moments, with overwhelming effect.

    The challenge of a love affair or marriage here is to deal with material from each person's own past sensitively and with understanding. Both of you are likely to have buried many painful memories, which the relationship is capable of dealing with in a therapeutic fashion. Through openness and mutual discussion, much of this material can be worked through, and old scripts and harmful patterns of behaviour can be dealt with and discarded. A great deal of trust is necessary, of course, with the consequence that for one of you to break off the relationship could arouse devastating anxiety in the other. The two of you must not go on big power trips here nor use emotional blackmail in your dealings with each other. You may be playing a dangerous game if you do. Your friend can find reality and maturity a bit boring but he must stay grounded if he wants a happy life. He doesn't trust easily, always fearing he will be cheated on, sexually or psychologically controlled, or lied to - to the point where it could make him faithless and unreliable himself. Yet there is a very wise and compassionate soul inside him and if he can show that side more often than his darker seductive, misleading, and mistrustful side, he will be much more fulfilled and successful.