Cancer man got scared in a new relationship. Please help me.
Aymes, I just read one of your posts, I think what you fell for in a month was the illusion of what he was presenting. Only a small part of himself, not the total package. It is part of their bad character flaws. Only presenting their "finest" traits before presenting all of their traits.
Take my J for example. He is a complete total a$$ at times. BUT, I knew that before we ever started dating!! lol he is self centered, egotistical, etc.....BUT...he is also caring, sweet, kind, considerate and hard working. It took him a very long time to learn how to be vunerable with me, BC he was not sure it was safe for him to be that way. He still hesitates, but he is getting better. But it took a long time of us building our relationship for him to get to that point and honestly, for me as well.
You see, I am the type that goes along happy go lucky, yet I do feel things deeply. Good and bad. OH sure, I would have my typical Taurus moments of throwing the bad out there, but they were far and few between and I would quickly withdraw them not long after throwing them out there. It was just less than 2 months ago, that I allowed him to hold me with out me holding back......he wrapped his arms around me, and I had my hands in my pockets and just sank my head on his chest and for the first time, actually relaxed in HIS comfort. he has rested in my comfort many times. And what he gave me back was great, but different. It has just taken us a long time to really get to know each other.
But, I can guarantee you one thing......if I knew he was not interested in me and only me, I would walk.
Sure Doe...I am on my way there now!!
thanks guys, crazy cap, sorry if you took offense, I didnt like being accused of playing HIM when IVE been in emotional agony over his "freak out". But if you didnt mean to be rude its all good. Taurus 7 thank you, you have given me some insight. I dont know what the dating site thing is all about. ego stroke? no idea. Either way it really hurts. If he had given me signs leading up to this (ie being shady, not returning phone calls, taking other girls out ) it would be different. When he was with me he barley looked at his phone, we were exclusivly seeing each other and no one else. I think the hardest part is that when we were together we fell into the couple routine, I live alone so he would come down for a weekend, ask me with house stuff without me asking him to, help me with my dog, kiss and hug and treat me so well. When we were apart it was constant initaited conversation on his part. I let him take the lead, and its like he sucked me in and spit me out, as said earlier. After the feeling of our connection I dont understand why he would look elsewhere.. He told me he was scared, ya I get it. but you got scared and are back on a dating site? lol. no closure. thank you guys, Im kinda emo right now so dont mind my little freakout earlier. Its just hard is all. no closure. have I said that yet. lol thanks for all the advice.
Aymes, You are welcome I am here..not sure how much help I can be, but I Do understand, COMPLETELY!!!!
And, you are entitled to any moment you want to have!!
All My Best!!
Hello all.... I am going thru a Cancer male thing too. Came back into my life after 30 years, found me on Facebook. Ok, so its a long distance relationship and hes come to see me 4 times in a year and a half. I left him years ago and he still brings it up how I was his first love and I broke his heart! We get along very well, the sex is AMAZING!!! But it seems he does the pull back thing when he goes back up to his home and then acts really distant for like a month towards me. It is so hard and hurts me so much. I cannot figure out why. So, yesterday, (we have a full moon right now and I get very emotional during them) he was doing the ignore thing to me with texts, so I totally ignored him and then he tried to call me at 11:00 and I told him I really didnt want to talk. It just upset me so much to do that but I am trying to make him miss me a little and hope he will get back to wanting me again and get out of the "shell mode" as I call it. I had to comment on all these Cancer men threads, it seems they are very very complicated and once you think all is fine, they just pull back on you and you are just shocked as to what happened! And to top it off they are so loveable and you feel such a connection there (after 30 years it is so much better for us) and then BOOM its to the dissapear act!!! Hoping this little backing off thing I am doing does not backfire on me !!
Lioness017 - You are very correct, they are not the easiest to have a relationship with!! I have questioned myself many times, but, I always came back to....I love this man!! And to top that off, I have to admit that I have NEVER loved a man until I met him. Not sure why, but that is my reality.
Here is a thread of hope though, he has become a better person in the last 2 years. I have seen his transformation, granted it has been long and slow, but as security strengthens, he opens up more and more.