Cancer man got scared in a new relationship. Please help me.



  • I met this guy online. We live four hours apart. I am Aries and he is Cancer. He is 100% his sign as I am 100% mine.. I see how many woman post about Cancer men retreating and leaving.. I just need help

    We both felt an immediate connection, he is only 25 with a daughter and has been legally seperated for 3 years. He drove down to see me 2 times in one week in snow storms, called me all the time, told me how much he liked me. Was kind, sweet and seemed genuine. We got physical the first night, and after his second visit he asked me to come meet his daughter and family.

    Everything went amazing, his daughter and friends and family loved me. He acted like he didnt want me to leave.We had a VERY intense emotional and physical connection. He said he has never felt like this before. We communicated after I got back and then suddenly he told me he needed time to think and got scared. I gave him a couple of days and asked for answers and nothing. No response. He went from falling in love with me to nothing.

    I found him back online and confronted him, and he told me he liked me but I didnt give him space he needed. That pissed me off. I told him he can have ALL the space. Let him know I didnt hate him and now its been 3 days without any talking, the longest we have gone.

    So my questions are: Will he ever be back? Why is he back on that site after just introducing me to everyone and telling me he was falling for me? is this typical cancer man behavior? Is this it. This seems like a kind enviorment. but I never post on these things so please be kind but honest. Im really hurting right now.

    thanks and blessed be.



  • wanted to add that I left it open and on good terms. His ex wife cheated on him alot and I am the first girl he has ever brought around his daughter that wasnt a friend ..I Told him he needs to sort himself out. Im willing to wait it out and Im not one to put up with bad treatment. I just felt such a deep connection with this person.



  • I'm amazed how many posts there are on here about Cancer men. Seriously. What is it about them? They kind of suck you in and spit you back out again!! I'm embroiled in a web with one at the moment too, I really believe that they "test" you to see how much you can handle, think a lot of other posters on here think that way too.



  • I reckon if cancers test you to see how much you handle they will lose. Simple and easy as that.



  • If your willing to wait it out then whats the real problem? and what bad treatment are you getting from this cancer?



  • Hes back on a dating site after saying he needs time away to think. I dont know if thats the best sign, if he liked me then would he be on a dating site? I dont know what I feel anymore, Im emotionally exhausted because I met this incredible guy and now hes gone.



  • and yes, the amount of posts about cancers leaving randomly are crazy! cant believe how many similar situations to mine there are.



  • if he liked me then would he be on a dating site?

    Depends on if thats the only way you can communicate with him or not. Depends on his intentions.

    I know in my situation there is no other way of communicating with someone and this is what it has come to but thats just the way it is and I have to put up with it but and it wont be long til I have no way to communicate with him at all. So I really hope he understands this and makes his mind up. I have to go soon and its hard to move on when you just have tried hard to be with someone and thenthey turn around and tell you to fuck off and then try everything to get you out of their life and blame you for everything coz they think your scum and then your wondering wtf is going on? especially when they tell you they love you and miss you and all that jazz and they have to understand when your intentions are right and its them that just dont get it or understand at all and now has wound up in me waiting forhim to make his mind up before I go.

    OK back to your story, well i hope this has helped you.



  • Ahmed,

    I am sorry you are hurting, I know they can give mixed signals. You are an Aries so I am assuming, this s . H . I. T. Will not be acceptable for too long. But they need space and patience to see how they really feel. If you love him, you have to wait and see if is doing the push and pull that they do, or as in my case, it was no more.



  • doeeyed, if you give them space and patience, and they don't push, so you push yourself and then they just pull, how long do you keep giving them space and patience for?!



  • thanks guys, Im just going to let him go for now, I care about him and will welcome him back although my heart is broke and I dont understand why hes doing this.. I dont know how hes back on that dating site because I cant even think of anyone else.. probably to forget about me, cause I know he felt what I felt. It just hurts is all. Im doing no contact. If he cares and we are kindred he will come back.



  • Well if you cared enough you would go see him and talk to him about how you feel and find out where you are with each other. Perhaps you could talk to Cancersjourney hes going thru a similar thing



  • I do care enough but Im not going to suffocate him, he asked for space. thanks for the advice.



  • Aymes, you know what is best for you. I said that because it is so new and you met his daughter, that's huge. But no contact is smart. I betcha he contacts you because of it. Chin up, as you can see from these threads you r not alone.



  • thanks, you are very sweet doe eyed. I really want to talk to him so bad, miss him so much, but if a person is asking for time Im going to give it to him. I never thought at 27 Id would fall for someone within a month.. I feel kinda dumb. I know he felt it too. I was engaged to be married (loved the guy of course) but Ive never felt this strongly about anyone so early on. Its very weird. I saw him and knew. and not a in sexual way. It was a strange feeling. but I appriciate the support from you guys. Its rough but Ill get through it.



  • nah your just playing him get over yourself go see him and sort it out, then if he says again he wants space then give the space he needs.



  • youre being kind of rude. I think I know what I need to do, shouldnt have posted this on here, I guess I didnt think people would troll tarot.com. lol. nice. AGAIN, thanks for the advice..



  • Have you asked him why hes on the dating sites? Have you gone to see him to ask him about this? or are you going to assume the worst? Seems to me yo are, if that is the case then so be it. Goodbye.



  • Yeh also I am not being rude it comes acroos that way, its how I see the situation without pretty colours and I tell it like I see it. So if I seem to be rude I will not be giving you advice anymore. Goodbye.



  • Crazycap has a good point. Why was he back on the dating sitte??

    Listen, 2 year plus relationship with a Cancer male here. Obviously, I am a Taurus.

    I think what changed him was the fact you slept with him so quickly. BC they are so into emotions.....they act then THINK. And when they start thinking, watch out.....BC this is where the get complicated. When they start to think, that emotional side is replaced with a person who is opposite of their emotional side. I think that is where people get that they are so cold and distant.

    When they ask for space, they mean it, bc they have to have it. What they cannot handle during that time is some crazy emotional woman. Trust me and hear me on this. That is where they need a strong, grounded woman. Who is in control of her emotions and has a grip on reality.

    HOWEVER...that is a HUGE however.....once they are done thinking.......they have made up their minds and they stand firm in that decision. They would rather walk away from someone leaving them with no answers. To spare that person hurt, but to spare themselves from giving and justifying the answer they have come to.

    HOWEVER, in your case, I really think the fact that he was back on the dating site, is a huge give away and tells what he will not say. I am not trying to be rude, mean, hurtful or hateful. I just think it is obvious.