Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for your answer, I will get back to you on that. But in the meanwhile, I was thinking about all the seasons and cycles, wheel going up and down and I was listening to one song that for me puts it all together, don't know if you like it but I'll post it anyway: Gustavo Santaolalla - El Viaje (the Journey) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6T70wzxxRE

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I think the birth new was indeed related to my sisters' ex, his son was born today...All Saints Day. I'm happy for him, even though he seems to have mixed feeling about all this and has kind of kept it a kind of secret from everyone.

    I bought the tickets to go home in december, I'm so happy and kind of relieved that I can go, can't wait.

    You said that my cousins visit would be important, but why? I don't know how much time I can spend with them as I can't take vacations in that week, so it depends if they will be traveling around or will stay here in the city.

    Another friend will be staying with me for a week or so, until he finds a new apartment for himself. I feel like by the end of november I will be desperate to have some privacy, but maybe all this socializing will be good for me.

    I know exactly what you mean by not feeling comfortable sharing a room with someone and wanting to have control when you come and go. I always feel that way and I think its not something that can be changed, only managed. My training will be next week, so I checked out the hotel and I think if I will feel like escaping I can go to the gym or spa or something like that.

    Happy All Saints Day! I don't know if you celebrate it in US but here at least it's a big thing.

    K.



  • I'm not sure either about the cousin visit as I see two people so some kind of meeting comes related through one or both---I just get that there is social contact a possability for a new friendship--whatever it is you get some kind of big aha moment. Something plants a seed that begins something--its like a new beginning energy enters in November and your life starts taking new paths but mostly I get a wave of social interactions.. Mostly plesent but a few irritating but somehow you get something out of it anyway. I do get with the cousin or friend a secret is revealed. I think it is the cousin.Since an aha momen or ephimamy or realization is involved spirit most likely is not going to give this away right now as it is part of your journey. I think you are getting a heads up now so when the time comes you will go with your intuitions and remember this as validation. Remember it's best not to think too much about what has not come yet. And how perfect that child born on all saints day---to remind all involved he is a GIFT. Here all saints is the otherside of holloween and is mostly a catholic celebraction and is a big day for them. I was raised Catholic. Otherwise most folks just celebrate Holloween without little thought to it's history and connection to All Saints. For me as a spiritualist Oct is the month when the veil between worlds is thinnist and spirits are most likely to be close and people tend to get very intuitive dreams in October--it peaks right now holloween and today--then through November--if you have been listening in Oct. is the month for putting knowledge into action--November is a power month. BLESSINGS!



  • I find it interesting that it is something that is not only a catholic holiday, but also something that is celebrated in other religions and here in mex its actually traced back to ancient indigenous pagan cultures, today is the Day of Little Angels and tomorrow is the Day of the Dead. And as you say, its important for also people who are spiritual rather than religious. I don't know what to think of it, but I do find it facinating.

    I'm exited about november and even more about december, I guess i will know soon enough how things turn out.

    Thank you as always!

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Hope everything is going well.

    I got back from the work trip today and although I'm completely exhausted, I'm also very happy that it went so much better than I imagined. The room sharing did indeed annoy me at times but we had such a busy schedule that I wouldn't have had too much me-time anyway. But I'm glad that I went and I met a lot of very nice people and I really made an effort to socialize. There were a couple of times when I felt that I just don't feel like going to dinner and do all the chit-chat thing with people I don't know but it turned out pretty well in the end and I had lots of fun.

    I was wondering about the man interest you mentioned. There were two guys from Switzerland at the course, I knew one of them before, about 2 months ago he presented himself as it turns out we have on friend in common, but the other Swiss guy is new in the office he just came to mex a month ago. So I hanged out with them quite a lot, they are both my age and like to party etc. The new Swiss guy I really liked, he is so funny and just makes me laugh, its so easy to get along with him. But I don't get him very well, he is super friendly and joking/teasing all the time, I thought he likes me, but whenever we went to some party together he never once tried to ask me to dance or make any move at all unlike some of my other colleagues. Maybe its the cultural difference or maybe he is just friendly and I'm imagining something else. Any thoughts about that?

    Wish you a nice weekend!

    K.



  • Is he g ay?



  • I don't think so, he doesn't seem to be...but who knows.



  • Perhaps he is a lot like you?!!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Umm...I think I'm the opposite, I'm not socializing too much, but when I really like someone I make an effort. He on the other hand seems to be socializing with everyone but in a friendly way, not flirting with anyone. I started to talk with him in the morning and he was friendly but kind of distant, so its up to him, I will not try to contact him any more I think.

    Othewise the friend who was living with me will move out today as my cousin is coming tomorrow. No new meetings through him. We had a good time though. I was a bit worried before that it might get irritating as he is very intense and always wants to go somewhere and do something, but it turned out to be nice.

    As for work, no news from the company where I applied. The deadine for applications was 31 oct, so its been a while, I'm starting to get a feeling they will not reply anything. And there are no other great options at the moment either, I might send one CV to Switzerland again, but I'm not as excited about that positions as I was about the other one.

    Wish you a nice week!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Well the cousin visit was nice, we had a good time and a lot of fun, although I didn't spend too much time with them as I had to work and they were also traveling around. But otherwise no new meetings or revealed secrets. The only thing was that they met my friends here and I guess I understood what a huge difference there is between my friends back home and the ones I have here. And I got really angry at the friend who was living with me for a while as he always invites people to my place I hardly know or don't particularly like without even asking me before although I have told him that I hate that. And to top it all off I was talking with the spanish neighbour (the older guy) in the weekend and he was also joking about it that the people I hang out with don't seem to be my kind of people.

    The Swiss colleague is confusing, we didn't talk for a week, but today he came to my office to chat a bit and told me he finally found an apartment that he likes. So I asked if he will organize a housewarming party soon. He said yes and asked me when I will be going home for christmas so he can have the party before that.

    Wish you happy Thanksgiving!!!

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I hope everything is well, I'm sure its a busy time for you.

    I wanted to ask about a dream I had and if you know what it means. I was travelling somewhere with my mother and my aunt and when I got back to the hotel all my things had been stolen, at least everything valuable. I remember being sad about my jewllery, not because it is very expensive but because of the emotional value these things have. And then I got back home and my home had been robbed too and everything there was also gone. I remember thinking how can I have such bad luck to loose everything at once...

    I'm literally counting days until my vacations, I need a break to clear my head and decide what to do and where to go next.

    Love,

    K.



  • I am busy tired right now but yours is easy ---the dream reflects on your last post that talked about your "realization" your AHA moment that is the secret though really only in the sense that it was hidden from your awareness but took the visit from the past to compare to the future. It's these kinds of divine life synchronisityies that show you that even with out my help that you are being helped if you just take notice. Dreams about losing things and being robbed are comman--I have them on occasion and cringe because they are warnings that you are loosing boundries or identity. I hate knowing that yet glad to be warned. In your dream there was two events so you do have two fears coming to light--one is the awarenes that you have let your current associates cross your boundries and the other is your anxiety over the family reunion (GOING HOME). Altho you look forward to it there is a part of your nature that fears being "influenced" by family pulls and needs and influences--you hate being influenced or swallowed up by others. You fear the loss of your own identity. Your recent aha moment is validating that yes you have an issue with boundries--which is why it is easier to just be a loner. Know yourself is the theme. And be aware when its creeping in. Thank your guiding angels and spirits that brought this to your attention and make some changes about this current issue with your new friends. Get firm and set boundries. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I think you are right about there being signs and guidance around, but I think I don't always notice that or interpret it correctly. But when you explain it it seems to make perfect sense. I think I'm still figuring out what is the right way of being for me, what works and what doesn't work for me, and that is why I don't want to be influenced by anyone. My mother will surely try to pressure me to move back home and my friend who will move to Switzerland will probaly try to convince me to go there with her, but the rest of my family and friends are fine with whatever I do.

    You are right about the boundaries problem, the thing is that I really hate confrontations and if someone crosses a line with me I'd just rather withdraw and avoid that person rather than talk about it. Probably not the best strategy in the long run.

    You said a while ago that you feel a new man interest will be coming soon. Do you still see that? Other that the Swiss colleague, I haven't met anyone interesting and with him its been its been strange that we haven't almost talked at all after the training. However, the good thing about meeting him and also spending time with my cousin is that it reminded me what a great feeling it is to be around people who have the same sense of humour that you do.

    Love,

    K.



  • I am busy right now but can respond enough to help you move forward. All you say is very true not just for you but many of us. Not wanting confrontation is a slippery slope. Sometimes not dealing with something is a good thing and other times not and the key is knowing the difference. It always comes down to being realistic about what you can change or not change. Confrontation that will change nothing is a waste of energy and can tie you up and hold you back. Your fear of that truth is that part of you knows that at the end of that truth someone or something must go and that is very final. Although on occasion by forcing a boundry that sticks others may surprise you and come back and respect it. But it's a gamble. Loners often face unitentualy surrounding themselves with boundry crossers by passive resistance. They do not actively build relationships but wait for them to come and usually its the "pushy" types that come. I think you get lonely enough to let pushy types come in and the thing is that if you can trust yourself to be more protective of your self then you would be less a loner. You don't just not trust others but really you do not trust yourself.You are right that all this IS very much about YOU. Practice on the current boundry crossers as it will work for you because you are not inlove with them. You just allow little boundry crossings until one day you realize they have a big chunk. Before the next love interest comes nto your life you need to solve this and not attract people who take over. Practice Diva thinking--not in a intentualy rude way but in a love yourself enough no apologies for your quirks and needs way. Be self confident. Everyone is different and you tend to make comparisions and dwell on should bes but really right now make your boundry list according to who you are. What keeps you in power and feeds your energy and spirit. It's like being a good parent or boss--you have to accept being not liked at times or to have someone angry at you. You cannot have boundries and not expect flack. You can't be a pleaser and not expect someone to take advantage of that. It will happen so rather than hide from that situation practice dealing with it. You will learn what works. Most habitual boundry crossers are actually used to getting shut down but they just move on to the next open spot. Your age is relevent as women at your age struggle more than older woman. When you are out in the world notice that. Notice how an older woman handles getting what she needs and wants. This can be done with grace although an older woman is not afraid to SPEAK up on behalf of herself. She's not afraid of being the B word if she's being disrespected. Society tends to groom girls to be nice. It's a woman's fear of her masculine energy that leaves her unprotected. It is why you get fooled by a man who seems to have it together in a manly way--is strong and lets you be passive--sweeps you away. Then you find out it is an ilusion and that man is actualy weak and terrified of love and true intimate committment. So before the new man enters make changes or you will be struggling with him with little change of the past. Practice boundries right now. Be firm--have a plan--do not look back--let another make you feel bad--be confident and do not let another point out any logic or lack of fairness in your desicions of boundries. Your mantra right now is SOME THINGS ARE NOT NEGOTIABLE. Talk to the hand is your stance. THAT'S a boundry. If they argue, you raise that hand in a stop fashion. End of discussion. You tend to allow too much room for debate. Never let that debate foot in the door. You have the power to walk away or change the subject. Practice now. And again with your family visit. THEN a NEW man will be ready to help you through the next learning phase of YOURSELF. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I have been thinking al lot about boundries and what you said, it kind of made me notice more the situations where I feel uncomfortable but don't say or do anything. So I have been practicing.

    For example in the weekend some friends were visiting and they all smoke but I don't. So generally its normal that at a party everyone smokes inside and I would usually not say anything but this time I thought that why should I have my apartment smelling of cigarettes for the next few days if I don't even smoke, so I asked my friends to go outside and obivously it wasn't a problem for them. So it made me realize that I do let many such small things slip for no obvious reason.

    I met someone new. A new neighbour, another Spanish man. A year younger than I am. He is the kind of tall, dark and handsome guy that I find absolutely irresistible, so I don't know if he is my typical type that you described - who seems to have it all together but really is weak and terrified of love - or different. We started talking yesterday morning by the pool and ended up spending the whole day together talking and afterwards he invited me to his place for dinner, but he was acting like a perfect gentleman, didn't try to make a move or anything, just talking and having a good time. When I went home he sent me a message that he had a very good time and he is very happy he decided to go swimming in the morning. I'm just worried if I can tell the difference between a genuinely nice guy and another player or someone with intimacy issues.

    Love,

    K.



  • If you indeed are now in awareness about boundries and catching yourself being passively over pleasing it has to manifest in your relationships so this new meet up is part of that. Do not fear your power not trustworthy as that is what isolates you--you do not trust yourself. On a reality level no one can be totaly safe from a deceptive person--even psychics can be fooled although they may have had a gut feeling. Truth is some deceptive people believe their own lies! So it comes off as convincing which is why one must practice detachment so they can step out of that persons vibes and use their heads. An example would be if a man continualy talks about family being important--expresses his love for children and may even play the role YET he's been married three times and has children he rarely sees. Well--in this case no matter how it looks in the moment you let the head intervine and say there is a contradiction here. Then if you are already fond of the person you test his truth by asking him---you will say--you know, I'm attracted to the way you present yourself as family oriantated and your love for children YET it puzzles me, you are divorced and not close to your children? Explain that. You would use a friendly right to ask tone. Your issue is with speaking up at the little things. Mostly, the detached types you fall for have a no ask rule. You sense it and oblige because you want to please and not have them offended an run. A guy who is really into you and is open will answer your questions. A man who gets irritated at certein questions is a red flag.. As a rule you can tell a lot about a man by how he feels about his mother. If his face lights up talking about her or he has funny stories to share and you can feel the love that's a good start. A man with mother issues is a red flag. Depending on hs reaction--some men hae difficult childhoods but do not fall victim and make a good life and despite their mother's failings they still have fondess and forgiveness and will say she did the best she could. A man still angry at his mother will carry that into all his relationships. Take the time to know this man before dreaming of possabilities--as it takes time to know someone. Observe him in all situations. You know more about someone observing more than listening as people tend to put on their best talk. See him as a friend only until you know him well. Patience. Sometimes woman go too much by feelings--and just feeling good with someone is not proof of them being perfect for you--some people are just magnetic. Ask a lot of questions. And if something doesn't add up ask more questions. If a man runs from questions no matter how perfect he seemed then you dodged a bullit and instead of feeling rejected as if you did somethig wrong--pride yourself in protecting yourself. Often the kind of man you fell for in the past avoided questions early on by distracting you with well thought out attention--he dazzled you with his focus on you and made sure you didn't ask to many questions. Spirit rathers you solve this attraction and learn from it. Enjoy him as a new friendship possability but keep your distance long enough to know him. Relax and trust yourself and ask lots of questions! Be the protective father at the door of your heart that does not let this man in until he's satisfied he's safe. Your mantra for the next few weeks is SPEAK UP--write it on your mirror!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. I guess I'm anxious because I really want to do things differently that in the past, but not sure if it will work. I did ask him a lot of questions, partly because I was nervous being in HIS space and he seemed so relaxed cooking and chatting. He does seem very fond of his family, said that his mother is a great cook and teached him too and how he doesn't want his family to worry about him etc. He did answer all my questions, the only time when he seemed uncomfortable was when he mentioned that he broke up with his ex girlfriend a month ago and when I asked why, he just said that she wasn't the right one and changed the subject. Which made me think that either its a sensitive subject and he is not over her or he thought the question was too personal. He also came here to mexico only 4 months ago, so he is just starting to settle in and getting his life in order.

    Anyway this have to be on hold for a while now as I'm going home on friday and will stay there for about 3 weeks. Today he called me in the morning and said if we can see each other before I go. So we met and spent a few hours together, it was nice, relaxed and fun. He said he would still like to go to dinner with me before I will go, but I don't know if we will have time. But I'm definately looking forward to see how this will go.

    Love,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Wanted to wish you merry Christmas, I hope you will have great holidays with your family and friends. I also wanted to thank you for all your help during this year, I really don't know how I would have gotten through it without your advice, I appreciate it more than you can imagine.

    Love,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Happy New Year! I hope this year will bring you a lot of joy and happiness!!!

    I got back from my vacations yesterday and I'm very-very happy that I went. I didn´t do really anything special, but just spending time with my family was exactly what I needed to charge my batteries and clear my head a bit.

    The new Spanish guy is still very much in my mind. When I was on vacation we were writing to each other, but mostly about holiday book and movie recommendations, not anything too personal. Yesterday when I got back he said that he wants to say hello and also present his new roommate. So they came over for a few drinks. The roomate is his friend from Spain who just came to live in Mexico a few weeks ago. He seems nice too - handsome, funny, intelligent, very self confident , possibly a player - the kind of guy I would definately have been attracted to in the past. But the Spanish guy I like is kind of hard to read, I think he likes me but he seems to treat me more like a friend or maybe he really is a kind of preson who doesn´t come on too strong. I´m definately interested to see where this is going. The only warning sign I see is that he happened to mention his ex girlfriend twice yesterday in some random context, which makes me think that she is still on his mind, its been only 2 months since they broke up, so I guess its normal. Or what do you think about that? Other than that, it seems that at the same time he wants to get to know me too. He invited me to go to a street food tour with him and the roomie in the weekend.

    Love,

    K.



  • I think it's very normal that his x is on his mind. In fact I think I mentioned that it was hard to be sure if they were ended for sure as often people break up for a few weeks but return. Men have a hard time talking about feelings and so they say nothing. His suddenly bringing it up means he's feeling more safe with you as a friend. Honestly, it's a good sign he's not pushing to fast as after a breakup it's wise not to. Since right now you are finding yourself---trying to get an awareness of patterns in your relationship choices that spirit is not going to just give you answers but will guide you to get the most out of the situation and you are doing well. You are not just following impulses but actualy stepping back and looking at the situation. As your friend talks more about his x if he has issues they will come out. How he describes what went wrong will tell you something if you don't just hear what he says but use your intuition. As for his friend I get a hint of uneasy feeling about him. Like a caution sign. I don't know why but spirit keeps saying no alcohol--shows him pouring drinks--and he's smiling--very seductive so he is either an alcoholic or even sneaky about seducing ladies and filling their drinks extra to help himself. Not sure but when with them both watch yourself around drinking--if he drinks too much go home. OR just be cautiouse--do not take drinks from him---if you drink keep it light and only open your own beer or serve yourself. I'm told this will make sense to you soon and don't dwell on it. I'm tired right now so not sure--it could mean an event coming up around drinking. But I do not see a problem as long as you stay cautiouse. BLESSINGS!