Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for answering, I can imagine how busy it must be.

    You are spot on, of course. I did get the interview. Turned out that they actually have an office here in Mexico too, so I went there and we had the interview as a video conference with the people in Switzerland. The interview went well I think, better than I anticipated. BUT they also had a test and that didn't go too well at all I think, I was just so distracted by the fact that it all took so long. I had planned 1,5 hours for everything and had to get back to work, but it turned out the interview was 1 hour + the test another 1,5 hours. Anyway, the interview was with HR manager and the possible future boss. The "boss" was so great, I just liked him from the moment I saw him. I think I would enjoy working with him. We were both making a few jokes during thew interview and it seems we could get along very well. But the best thing is that he is Spanish, so he said that if they should hire me we can talk in spanish if I want to practice. That has actually been one of my worries that if I go back to some non-spanish speaking country that I will miss all the spanish/latin culture and way of life.

    I know they are still considering me as a candidate as they asked me to send the names of some references in order to continue with the process and they told me they would let me know in the beginning of the next week how the process is going. But I have no idea how many people are still continuing in the process. If they choose me, they would like me to start in October.

    I know I'm being very impatient. last weekend I got so frustrated with things not moving in any direction that I started to organize and packing some of my things, things I will need to give away and things I can take with me when I move.

    You are right that the full reading you gave me is more or less on the track. Only thing that has not worked out is the moving part, you said before that the big move will probably be in may or june, but that still hasn't happen yet.

    But what I was thinking about the other day was that you said "I'm getting the letter M really big--so it could be a name or place or company but something with a big M. LEADERSHIP---that still comes through big. " The organization I had the interview with does start with a big M and the position is for a leadership role, much more than what I have had so far.

    No answers from Spain, but none of the position I applied to didn't seem like a prefect match anyway.

    And what you say about sensing the change but not seeing it yet is exactly what I feel at the moment, in my mind I feel like I'm already moving on, but I'm still stuck here physically, so I'm a bit frustrated by that. But I will try to relax...

    Thank you again!!!

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Soon as you mentioned the spanish boss I got the same warm feeling I felt about spain so I really think that was the connection I felt as you described him I got the same vibe. You being bilingual is a plus and has kept you in the running. Funny as I did see you doing a telepromt interview but did not get the switzerland connection to that so didn't mention it as felt it must be something coming up but and the two you mentioned.---but now I see why it didn't match for me when you said they had an office in Mexico. I was thinking too munch! Now it makes perfect sense the positive spanish vibe. I do get as well that this man actualy felt some chemistry for you--do not be surprised if either way you may hear from him--he likes you. But this is a big company with a very coordinated hiarchy process--they really pass through many departments and they have a set hiring time wait as a rule---something like 4 weeks from the time the call goes out until desicion time. They are very organized. I think you did make a move in May June but it was more of a life change and sometimes spirit tells you things that keep you on track--you were still being seduced then by old habits and not completely ahead of your x yet but you DID move on and needed to here something was in the future to hang onto to keep you going forward. ! BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    But you don't have any feeling about if I could get that job? It's just that this one seems the only good option at the moment and I think I would like it a lot.

    This man is very intriguing I think, I saw from his linkedin profile that he has lived in many different countries and speaks many different languages, seems very unconventional. But it seems that he is also married, so I would not really expect to hear from him.

    Wish you a nice weekend!

    K.



  • I still get that you will hear from him and I get the number 3 or 13 as well. So that could mean 3 days 3 weeks or on the 3rd or thirteenth. Spirit is not saying if you got the job but this man likes you so that's good and maybe if you do not get this one he will keep you in mind. I think he has you in the picked pile but there is a colaboration process where the final pick are discussed at a meeting. This man does have a lot of influence. If your issue is impatience sometimes Spirit tells you enought to keep you on path but gives you just enough dark area to develope patience and dealing with an anxiouse need to know. How did you feel when you connected to the interview --did you have any feelings of already knowing this person. Often that is a sign of things are connecting perfectly. Again--Spirit says you will hear from him again. Blessings!



  • Thank you! Well, I guess I will know soon enough. In next few weeks I think, because they are also in a bit of a hurry as I understood.

    I wouldn't say that I had the feeling of knowing him, but I did get the feeling that we are on the same page and I did like him immediately. But it was strange that I felt that he was feeling a bit uneasy or something, he didn't talk too much and various times when the HR person asked him if he would like to explain something himself, he said that no, that she can do it. Or maybe its just the way he is.

    Wish you a beautiful Sunday!

    K.



  • You did pick up his vibe but the uneasyness was not for you it was between him and the other HR person. As I said the desicion is a group thing and they all do not think alike and are each pulling for there own pick--mostly the group is in agreement a few do not care either way as the choice does not affect them. This other Hr person has another favourite but the man who likes you does not agree and he was letting you talk without his explaination needed as a vote of confidence in you. Remember that whenever going over a situation that is not clear you can see it from two ways depending on your selfconfidence. We all do that at times--imagine the most paranoid scenerio when it is all rooted in our own insecurity. Befor I grew into a leadership role I realisd that about myself as well. That often we let our minds play out scenerios of fear. Even being psychic is trumped by fear. That's why I avise those feeling the most lost to immediatly get rid of fear as it realy does put up a wall to intuition and hearing guidence from Spirit. I tell you this because you are embarking on a leadership path and so you will be tested to grow stronger in not letting too much thought of possible slights or imagined negativity sidetrack you. Instead of playing over and over in your mind the worrisome parts of a day--saying why did he or she say THAT--so and so seamed irritated--what did I do? Often they have an inner drama that has nothing to do with you. And even if it does the leadership roll requires the thick skin to roll through drama without losing sight of one's job. Know that you are being prepared for leadership be aware that challanges at this time evolve around perception and patience and self confidence. I think you get this! BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Although they promised to contact me in the beginning of this week, they still haven't and I asked the person I gave as a reference if they have contacted her and she said that no. I know you said that it might take more time, but I just hoped they would at least let me know how is the process going.

    I haven't been thinking much about my ex lately, but today I somehow thought about him and when I looked in facebook I saw that one woman wrote to him that she loves him and he replied that me too and can't wait to see you.....It felt like I got hit by the truck. I know its been like 8 months already but it still upsets me and makes me sad that he is moving on and in love with someone else and I'm still stuck here and all alone...

    Regards,

    K.



  • Blmoon,

    It just kind of came out of the blue that something like that can still throw me so off-balance. Kind of caught me off-guard and makes me wonder if I have made any real progress at all or I’m I right back in square 1.

    It just immediately triggered a flood of all kinds of painful thoughts and an actual tightness or pain in my left chest that feels so familiar. I couldn’t get much sleep and when I finally did fall asleep I had a very vivid dream of a similar situation. But it wasn´t about my current ex, it was another ex from years ago. I saw him happy with some other woman and I just felt so terribly sad and left out, when I woke up I still felt anxious and the pain in the chest was still there but for the moment I wasn’t even sure if it was because of the dream or the news about my ex. So I know that it not about any specific person, it’s all the same play just with different actors. In fact I don’t even think that I would like to be back together with my ex, but he is still the person (the only one at the moment) that can trigger that kind of reaction. I just feel that I don’t know what to do differently. My solution so far has been to escape from the situation, time and distance always helps. In fact, the actual reason I moved to Chile was because of the ex I saw in my dream. We hadn’t been together for years but we had all the same friends so we saw each other all the time and I never really got over him. So it was an endless circle of getting hurt and finally something happened that I just couldn’t accept and I decided that I just can’t take it anymore and I literally moved to the other side of the world. It helped, now we really are only good friends. But then came another guy and then my ex and it was still the same story. I just don’t know what else to do to stop that endless circle…

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • The moon has you drowning in emotions. Your addiction to distraction like your x will always tempt you during anxiouse times of unkowing of being ON HOLD. Your motor revs and revs but the road is closed. You grow restless and turn that energy inward and inward it depresses--makes you so small you disapear into your own head--back to ba habits--self loathing--failure--regrets--loss. Is anything real ever going to happen? You need a HEALTHY DISTRACTION! A new habit that moves your restless energy outward in a healthy way. Be kind to yourself and see with forgiveness that THING that you do that takes you nowhere but circles of craving and letting go. Allow your body and emotions to feel what they feel and know it is just like weather. This to shall pass. Forget the job call for now--do something fun--or new. Work hard on something. Watch your favourite funny movies. Choose love--even if it's you loving you. No matter who decided not to love us back they are not all there is of love--to dwell on them is turn your back on love--let the past go--choose love. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    You were 100% right. You said I would hear from the Spanish guy again and you said that you saw 3 or 13. So today is the 3rd and I did get a letter from him. Unfortunately bad news. They did not choose me, the explananion was the following:

    "We very much appreciate your motivation and enthusiasm for the position and for XXX, and find your professional background of great interest. We feel strongly that you would be well suited for work in XXX. It has been a very difficult decision as both you and another candidate have very good technical and personal profiles. However, for this particular position, we have valued a lot the experience and needed approach to work with peers in the organisation, and we are thus not able to take your application further in the process."

    I don't get what the" experience and needed approach to work with peers" means?!?

    I cannot beging to explain how dissapointed I am. I had a relly good feeling about this job. So now I'm back in the point where I have no idea what else to do.

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Sorry the number 3 turned out sad! But keep your faith on the big picture. Learning to not let old habits or self doubt slow you down. That realy was a nice rejection letter! Most folks do not get even a call back and I still feel the man who likes you was out voted by another.What the letter is saying is although someone saw your potential another looked for expierience as a management position--someone who has been a boss with the longest track record. The person who gets the job will look good on paperbut. I see that the person getting the job will not stay but do not see if that effects you. I do get that you should return a written note to the spanish man--keep it professional and say thank you for the prompt desicion. I am disapointed of course but I do understand. I researched your company and wanted very much to be given a chance to be an asset to your company. Please feel free to contact me should a position you feel I am qualified for opens up in the future. Sincerly


    .

    Once you do that--leave a good intention--then you must pay attention to how you deal with stalls and blank places without a plan. Be aware of comulsions and old habits and use this time to be more positive and capable of looking ahead and filling down time with positive busy stuff that feeds your life and moves you towards your goal. Do not reach toward people or habits that feed into that place of doubts in your self worth. It's a journey and this job thing not the whole picture yet. Face forward as if you stay on path the next three weeks will move you forward a big leap. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Well it has really been a very rich soup of emotions that has come up recently, so I'm still dealing with that.

    I have exchanged a few e-mails with the Spanish man. A bit more informal and off-the-record. He wanted to emphasise again that I was an excellent candidate and it was a very difficult decision and said if 'm interested he would recommend me if another opening should come up that would fit with my profile. He also confirmed that the deciding factor in the end was that the other person had more experience in management and team management.

    And today he sent me a long letter asking if I would also consider working on the field operations. They have humanitarian missions all over the world (mostly in Africa and Asia) and that every mission needs someone who would coordinate the financial side of the mission. He said that that is how he started with the company and for him that is the work that is most rewarding and where you learn most about life and that in a few years he wants to go back doing that. The work is hard and the conditions are not always very good but it really is personally very rewarding. Well and if I'm interested he would be happy to help me with that and talk with me about the questions I might have. But most of all he is recommending different options for me because he thinks I would be a great asset to their company and he doesn't want to loose an opportunity to hire good people.

    He really is very nice and I appreciate a lot that he is taking the time to answer me and recommend different things. Definatley NOT something I have ever considered, although I admit that the idea is interesting but honestly I'm not sure if I would consider going to live and work in some crisis area. That wouldn't take me any closer to living in Europe and being closer to my family.

    What do you think?

    Regards,

    K



  • This man is a positive energy. He is close to the angels and guides and is of service. He sees something in you that touches him and sees a bit of himself. In his mind he sees a person searching for meaning and somewhere to be at home with. And he sees potential. I pick up that he is intuitive and that is why he went outside his usual work routine and responded in a more helping way. So consider listening a bit. A change for you is scary--you do not do well with what ifs--and you tend to think too much. I believe one of my first readings for you mentioned that you had not yet realised your capabilities. I think you are in a good position to be free and try something different as you are single and no children and realy no one to care for but you so you have a great freedom to explore. I think you should ask this man questions like was he afraid at first or was the desicion easy. Be hones and say you have never done anything like this and not sure if it's for you. Chances are he had similiar fears. And as for getting closer to family maybe life has a plan you can't see yet. Perhaps the humanitarian position will be short and you will be called somewhere else. I do know that my first impression of you was that you were truely searching for meaning in your life and a change. You also felt there was something more out there but couldn't get a clear picture. At your age this is common as there are life expieriences still untapped. I think you need something rewarding and you are a solitary person so a humanitarian job in an isolated area could be a good compromise. Consider that if you changed your mind you are no prisoner and can explore away. I believe this man took an interest for a reason and it's part of how guides do open doors for us and we have free will. Get more info from him and do some research about the position and place. Maybe he can give you a contact there at one of these areas so you can get a feel for who you would be with and the daily expectations. Just stay open right now and it could be more is unfolding but you just need to be more open minded as you do tend to isolate your thinking and go inside yourself. You tend to make your world smaller than it should be. So far it has been a man who pulled you out farther into change and adventure but maybe spirit wants you to be brave for yourself and do the same and this time the man is a positive push towards a good path and you are not doing it to hold onto a man who is a slippery fish who won't be caught. Keep an open mind--let the idea settle and just investigate this possability of adventure and an excellent kudo for your career journey. Remember a woman who doesn't change her mind doesn't have one and trying things may be very liberating for someone who freezes up over fear of mistakes. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    What do you mean by "He is close to the angels and guides and is of service"?

    I told him that I don't know, I have to think about it and do some research to get an idea what that kind of work would imply. I asked him a few questions about his experience and told him I would get back to him soon and if I decide I would like to do that I would definately like to talk with him a bit more how are things in real life.

    From what I understand you cannot ask to be assigned to a specific place, they would assign you based on the needs and resources thay have. Which seems a bit scary as they work mostly in areas where there are armed conflics, epidemics or natural disasters and the assignment would generally be for 1 year. On the other hand I can see how it would be exciting to actually do something important and I have no doubts that it would be very rewarding. So there is a lot to consider.

    Regards,

    K.



  • I meant that he is spritualy minded and intuitive. He is a humanitarian at heart. He likes the security of his job right now and lives on change but he hates the office politics and the diplomacy. At times he longs for that simple freedom of living real and with simple people who are far removed from all the shallow part of making money. But he also feels his company needs someone like him to keep the integrety of his company . This man is very conciencoiuse. I think you should think on it just to see where that energy takes you---I know it sounds strange but even though you may not accept an offer like that just living in that possability and thinking on it changes your energy--you open a door to something worldly and it takes bravery to imagine yourself doing something like that---this energy is a good balance as you have an issue withe isolation and in the past it took a love interest to move you out of your comfort zone. I have a feeling they would be open to giving you a choice even if they say they don't.. You are on the right path to research this as that is a positive distraction and it helps break old habits of feeling stuck and alone and needing to grasp at an x who can't be commited. The lesson for you is how things move in steps and even if the first step is not where you think you should be there is a new step a new direction.And the map is not always clear and there are intuitions that call you and leaps of faith. You tend to fear mistakes so much that you ignore some bold intuitions. I agree that being in a war zone would not be on my list either. I would tell him that. I also feel as if another offer is coming soon, very soon. It may be related directly to him or to this new energy you are putting out to the universe. By looking ahead--no matter what it is you are reversing the bad habit of looking towards the past when you feel most doubtful and fearful of the future. This man is pulling you to face forward. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I haven´t heard anything from him anymore, I told him I would think about it and asked him a few questions but he hasn't answered.

    I think you are right about me ignoring intuitions but I guess I have a hard time recognizing intuition for other wants and needs. I'm mostly realizing only what I don't want in my life anymore. The isolation issue...what to you refer to or what should I do about that? Socialize more?

    I do hope some other interesting opportunities will come soon. I can't believe that it has already been almost a year since I'm here.

    Wish you a nice week!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Hope all is well.

    The Spanish man answered, he was traveling for a few weeks so didn’t have time to answer before.

    He truly is inspirational, the way he describes his job. He has lived and worked in more than 10 countries. He says he really loves what he is doing, he has never regretted going to any of the places he has been to and this work makes him feel happy about himself. I think I have never loved any of my jobs. I don’t even know what it would feel like to do something that you actually love or what would it be like to be excited about going to work on Monday mornings. So I’m always interested in meeting people who seem to be genuinely happy with their jobs, like to know what is their secret.

    My family hates the idea, they think it’s just too dangerous and psychologically difficult. I understand that, I’m worried about that too. Although, the Spanish man told me that on your first mission you would be most likely sent to a country where there is no current conflict and the job I´m considering is always placed in the capital of the country not in the zone of the actual mission.

    This decision drives me crazy. I don’t know why, but I kind of trust his judgment and that it could be good for me too. I just wish there would be good middle-ground option, doing something interesting but in a more familiar setting, like anywhere in Europe.

    In the weekend I talked with one friend who has a lot of connections in non-profits, he said he would ask around to see if anyone has available positions that might fit with my profile. But not sure if anything will turn up from that.

    Thank you in advance.

    Regards,

    K



  • Hi Blmoon,

    He has been really patient, answering all my questions in detail about the job and the security isues etc. He' seven joking that it has been a long time since he has been that involved in recruting someone. So I appreciate that, also feel a bit quilty about taking so much of his time. But he still said that once I decide something that we can have a chat about any other doucts I may have.

    Still not sure, but I did take the first step today and signed up for the next information sellsion thay have here in mexico in the beginning of october. They recommend attending that before applying, just to get a clear picture how things work. Lets see how that goes then.

    I feel quilty for being completely unmotivated in my current job, but I just can't bring myself to get excited about anything, I feel like I'm just killing time here. Although I have to give 2 more presentations on monday and this time the group will be very big, like 120 people, but even that doesn't seem very exciting.

    Do you still see some other offer coming soon?

    Thank you!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I know you haven't been online much recently but I hope when you have more time you will answer me.

    Its been a long time since I have even thought about any other guy than my ex. But the is a one Spanish guy, one of my neighbors who always seemed interesting to me. I met him for the first time back in March. In our building there is a roof garden with a pool and I always go there in the weekends to take some sun and swim. He is also there almost every weekend. For a long time we didn't really talk much, other than hello and goodbye. But recently we have started to talk more and I really liked him a lot. He seems interesting, he is a screenwriter, a really intelligent and funny guy. I thought we kind of hit it off and he liked me too. BUT today after we had spent the whole day together sunbathing I asked him if he wanted to stay to stay to have a barbecue with me and some of my friends he said sure, why not. So he stayed. I invited 3 of my best friends here, 2 guys and 1 woman. So in the end he started to flirt with my girlfriend and well eventually slept with her. I was completely astonished!!! what the hell? ??how did this happen??? and why do I still like guys who are obviously complete jerks??? I just feel that I can't really trust anything that I feel. I didn't see that coming at all...

    K.



  • By the way, he is scorpio...