Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed you birthday, even if it meant working hard in the garden:) I'm not a big fan of gardening (yet), as a child I always had to help out with things in the garden and never really enjoyed it too much, but I guess it might change some day.

    I didn't see the super moon, I imagine that on the beach it must have been really cool, saw some great pictures in some magazines though.

    Couldn´t really do the "solitary busy" thing this week as some friends are visiting and I have been taking them around the city every day. It has been nice though, makes me feel like a tourist myself.

    Still waiting to hear from the company where I applied, but I found out that the screening process takes like 4 weeks, so still 1 week to go. I haven't really gotten any new ideas or feelings where else I could try to apply.

    I´m also wondering what happened with my ex, he hasn´t tried to contact me anymore after my BD and that was like a month ago already. I know you said that he might pull back for now because his plan didn´t go exactly as he hoped, but I´m wondering if maybe he just decided to give up altogether. Its been like 5 months since we broke up, so there must come a moment when its just too late to try anything.

    Wish you a nice weekend!

    Regards,

    K.



  • I'm about to leave soon for my residency so have no idea my schedual coming up--Imay be scarce here or not. Your X is very comfortable with coming and going--five months is not the same to him. He feels you THERE on a long leash if his pattern is working--if he feels you disconnect then he pops in---gives you all you want to here---makes sure you put he collar on again and then he runs. He does not do anythng else different--this pattern runs through ALL his relationships so stop wondering---detach. He always has the oportunity to see himself and stop the pattern. OR he moves on to another woman who will put up with his hot and cold --getclose--now need much space. He isn't sure yet if YOU are done----he thiks he was there just long enough to get you attached to him 'in your head". That really is enought for him still. Untill he gets it he will always tell himself it's the woman--she changed. Detach from him--completely. If he pops in again you must bring awareness to the light--I believe I already gave you that message ---tell him about your awareness--revelation about yourself and how you have done a lot of soul searching in his absense and as much as you enjoy all he offers 'for the moment" you know it can't last as he will run. You must say it A LOT. The truth will protect you--set you free and demand his owning up to what is really going on. He may argue you but do not budge--that's what a real boundrie is. Not at the end of HIS long leash. BLESSINGS. PS--keep an open mind--very open as this month is ripe for new connectionsand possability's so you must be in a bold and very free state of mind for that seed to land fertile.



  • Dear Blmoon,

    You haven't been on the forum much lately, so you are probably very busy wth your residency, I hope its going well.

    I don't know what to do, I feel very discouraged, things are not moving at all. I applied for one job that seemed a really good option and I think I would be a good candidate, but I asked them how is the selection process going (thay should have already started the interviews) and they answered me that as they are trying to fill many positions at the moment they will probably start the selection process for the job I applied to in the end of the summer. I haven't found any other good opportunities either, don't know where else to look.

    At the moment it doesn't seem very likely that I could move even in June. Do you have any recommendations for me?

    Thank you so much for all your help!

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Hello! My Name is Taleb, I go by, MySelf. I have been on a journey to find my path for 3 years now, and finally i have obatined the knowledge of the old. Im 20 years old, and i hope to share this information to the world, i wanna do it through means of benig a REAL MC. Please check out my blog, www.myselfenlightenment.blogspot.com and be sure to check out my first video to the series i am going to start! Please share and pass around, I WILL BE ONE OF THE VOICES FOR THE YOUTH FOR A BRIGHTER TOMORROW! Please help me, everyone has a role, no one is better than the other. THank you so much. The Key To Happiness, The Key To Life



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Hope everything is going well for you.

    I think I did something stupid. I talked with my ex on thursday on the phone and we agreed that we can meet and go to lunch in the weekend. He said that he hasn't contacted me because he though I didn't want to see him etc. Anyway, so we agreed that we would go to lunch on Sunday. Then on Friday he sends me a text that do I want him to come over to my place. I said no, that I prefer to have lunch on Sunday. So I called him in the morning to ask what time we should meet and where to go and he said that oh sorry, he actually can't make it, he has to help his mother with something. I was so damn angry at him, I think it was a stupid excuse and if he changed his mind about meeting me he should just be honest about it. Anyway, I didn't tell him anything, although I would have liked to.

    I know you have explained me his pattern like 10 times already, but I still get upset about it.

    Nothing new has come up work wise, I just wish that things would start moving already, the months just go by so quickly and I feel like I'm wasting my time here waiting for I don't know what.

    Wish you a nice sunday!

    K.



  • Everyone hates the "lull"--the down time but be patient--sitting still is just practice for NOT getting so anxiouse about control you just HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! We all go through that. Live is defined by cycles---the wheel is up--the wheel is down. It's summer--it's dead of winter--the moon is full then it is gone. And you did not screw up. You will always be tempted by that kind of man--it's who you are--only now you have AWARENESS. It's all practice and really pat yourself on the back because ther WAS a time when you would have agreed to meet him any way you could. You sent a boundrie message and he got it---that you are not needing him so much that you no longer include your head in the equation and if he wanted to REALLY see you HE would have made it happen to your wishes. You did good! BLESSINGS!

    PS---the job thing is about to present something soon so stay looking forward--do not turn to look at the past. Spend some time organizing a fat resume----go through all your kudos and update anything you can. Consider some new letters of recommendation. ALSO--for yourself--start listing dream job thoughts---first make a list of all your talents----not just education but really give yourself credit---are you passionate about learning? Great problem solver? Also make a matching list of things you hate--or situations that do not work for you. What you need to feel good and what wears you out. Then write down the dream job--do not censer it with any thoughts about oh that is unrealistic--just put it down. Put the lists somewhere you make sacred---surround it with favourite feel good items---a pretty stone----loving gifts or inspiring pictures. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I understand what you say about the down time and I have tried to use it for self reflection and getting to know myself better. I even understand that I really needed that. But I'm just so tired of the feeling that everything here is so temporary, I miss having something that feels a bit more permanent and right (like a job, or home, or relationships/friendships).

    I felt that I did something stupid because I contacted him and I thought that he would be happy to see me, after all the "I have been thinking about you, I love you" stuff he told me a month ago. But it didn't go like that at all and I feel like he is acting like a jerk and I don't get it, because I haven't done anything bad to him. But yes, I am happy if he at least got the boundaries message. I can already feel that this new practice with awareness will be a bit of a challenge. Its more difficult to ignore actions and make excuses for him and this reality check makes me feel uncomfortable. But as you once said, once you are aware there is no going back.

    I have already done some things like updated my resume and made lists of what I want and don't want, so the picture is getting a bit clearer. I even put a sort of core values list on my fridge to remember to consider these when making changes. But I haven't done the dream job description, so I will try to work on that.

    Thank you again for your advice, I appreciate it.

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Hope your residency is going well.

    I wanted to ask you something. A while ago you did a whole year reading for me, month by month and you mentioned that "a mentor or job offer is about leadership---someone pushes you to step into a more responsabilty type position--someone in the near future--before august---maybe mid July sees possability in you that you have yet to OWN. This person I pick up as a strong peaceful but no nonsense male energy---fatherly or grandfatherly will take an interest in you and do a lot to help you succeed in a new work direction you had not considered---it will be like a scary push but it will be right. "

    Well anyway, I talked with my boss yesterday as we have the annual performance evaluations at the moment and he said that starting from next financial year in the company (which starts in July) he would like me to take a more active role in leading the group where I work and he want to delegate more of his tasks to me and maybe change things around a bit based on what I want too etc. And he definately is a peaceful but no nonsense type of guy. So now I'm thinking if your reading referred to this situation? I was kind of hoping that it would be related to a new job in a new place. I have kind of mixed feelings about his offer. I'm happy that he believes in me and sees more potential in me and really wants to help find more things to do that I like, but on the other hand I would also like to do something even more different and move back to Europe.

    So do you think that was the job thing you were referring to or will something else turn up?

    Thank you!

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Bump, although I know you are probably busy with your residency.



  • I just got home. Sounds like the reading you got. Here's the thing about getting a full blown future reading for someone--I am detached and just spill it out as it comes and it is hard for me at times to revist that moment again. I can try and connect later when more centered--I'm tired but the moon is full of energy right now. Sounds like my prediction though right down to the ambivilance you feel about it--that's why spirit gives you a reading so when you get to an impass with your doubts they help encourage you to make he right move. He does FEEL to me as part of your growing energy to KNOW yourself and to draw new energy that supports your needs and talents and often you trying to see ahead gets in your way---sometimes one leap leads to a place we can't imagine ourselves--the plan is bigger than we can dream. Consider your gut as well---how it feels to get that news. Also, who is to say that this beginning does not take you somewhere else---I wil have to reread the full forcast you got. I detach from readings mostly once they are given. get back to you. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for your answer. When I got the news I was actually excited at first, but then started thinking that I have been wanting to change things so badly that I'm not sure anymore. I guess the thing is that I can already see myself getting comfortable here, my social circle is growing fast and I don't feel that lonely here anymore. But on the other side, I think what would be the point of staying here for longer, I know that I don't want to live here permanently so isn't it just delaying the inevitable.

    I have been so focused on leaving for the last 5 months that, trying to keep everything very temporary, so that the idea of staying here for longer seems strange.

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    If you have time... I don't know, the more I think about it the less sure I'm that my current job would make me very happy, after all I have already tried to change the departments in the company and countries but I always end up unhappy with the job.

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Stop needing the full roadmap--one minute you trust the moment then you THINK TOO MUCH? How do you know that despite the change at work--the desicion to stay that in two months BOOM point A turns into point B and you do move? I can tell you one solid truth--every major change that truely lifted my life to a new level was met withe resistance. EVER ONE! It's the hard things that bring change--if change or resisting our shadow sabotager were easy no one would be stumbling on earth for growth. I always resisted the one change that moved my life forward a big leap. Believe it--success is more feared than failure--odd but true. First advice about your job complaints---write them down--make an appointment with the boss for a meeting that's not rushed and you speak up---exactly what bothers you about the job and your true frustrations. That is what leaders do--they do not get personal but leaders SPEAK their truth. Do that and see how that feels. Be honest with him about what you feel comfortable doing and what you hate. Spirit says communication is your friend right now and it's on your side. Speak up. BLESSINGS!



  • sorry for all the typos! I hit befor reading--my keyboard sticks!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Hope everything is going great!

    Well the other time when we had a talk with my boss he was asking me what I want to do etc, so I told him the things and tasks I like and don't like and how we sould better organize the work. But even if we would change things around, I don't see myself being motivated to continue here for long, because I can't see any purpose for my work, working for some big corporation only to make the partners richer, what's the point. In this job, I don't think it's a fear of succes, I know I can do it, it more of a fear of wasting more time doing something that is just not right. So I will just need to continue to apply to other places and hope something will turn up.

    Texted with the ex in the weekend, so I asked him why we didn't meet the other day, he said that he really was busy that day but that I should know that he loves me. So I asked him, why does he say that he loves me when we haven't even met since february and we practically haven't talked in the last 5 months. He didn't answer.

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • LORD!!!

    do not ask your x why---as if you are too needy or dumb to figure it out. All that does is give him the message that you are willing to believe there is another reason other than HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU IN A REAL WAY. Tell him what he has to offer is not love and let him go--unless you truelly want this circle to repeat repeat repeat. You have a clear head about not wasting time on a job that does not feed you yet you do not use that same clarity in your love life--blend the two--head and heart. As for the job---as I said maybe that new position will just feed your resume for the next job and teach you some skills as management is about dealing with conflict and as for making others rich---change your perspective----it's also about getting something out of it--either expierience or lessons. You think too much and will always talk yourself in or out of things. In the meantime you are stagnant--not moving--frozen---there is a time for retreat and a time for movement---stop holding yourself back with what ifs---your fears are hidden---you are a leader who is ambiviant about getting close to people--that is the true holdback---how are you going to meld the two sides of you. You have great skills but at the same time like your safety bubble--you can't have both. Recognize how your loner aspect sabotages you sometimes. Now is the time to put awareness to work. Your down time is over--get moving--stop thinking and predicting--let life surprise you.AMD put a block on your X's number! BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I know you are right, there is not much sense in talking with him. And usually it is okay, but on some days I fall back to the old patterns.

    I don't know, all this leader and management thing doesn't feel like something I'm interested in, I feel much more comfortable working on my own, doing my own thing rather than being responsible for other people's work. Actually, lately I have started to realize that maybe if would be good to me to study something new (like psychology or something like that) and start to think about a completely new career path.

    I know that the loner thing sabotages me sometimes, I can see it clearly in my personal life, there are so many times that I just feel suffocated by feeling that I have to meet people and go to some events, but I also know, that if I push myself and actually do things in the end I always have a good time and I enjoy it a lot. I guess I just need to find a good balance between me-time and socializing.

    Wish you a nice weekend!

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Sorry for the cold splash of water---but sometimes it's the best help. Your thoughts have merrit as at least your using reality based issues that must be dealt with or you will drift around rather than gather foundation. What you need to consider is your loner thing will be part of any job. Even as a counselour or doctor---you will be dealing with others--in fact being a counselour brings you closer to others! Counseling work involves intimacy with detachment but even with detachment you will be intimate with people's lives and fears and problems and be seeing them regularly and what then? If your loner side wants to escape--that would be very unproffessional!. If you go into buisness you still must deal with customers--the public and employees. That's why instead of all or nothing--wanting to leap into the end zone right off--have you considered you would benefit having a learning curve time of building skills to MANAGE the loner part of you that really finds too much togetherness scary. I am like that--being phsychic and a loner by nature I as well have a hard time working and am not the total breadwinner. Most my life I have free lanced and worked for myself. I have done small time periods of working jobs that ended under grants and stuff. My longest stint--5 years of running aftercare sucked me dry!!! I had the same students and in the end knew way too much about their home lives and the worst got very sick of the parents lives in my head!!! I had to break for two years and went back to the same place but first as a substitute but after a few years felt that was not rigt for me either and tried something else within the company. I have an ever changing position that teaches me and builds skills and luckily I stay there because it's the kind of place that is geared for growth and change--we grow and try new things and I'm always a part of that so it uses my problem solving skills. When dealing with a difficult employee who shows up I always by nature prefered avoiding them but was forced to deal with it eventually and it is good for me and made me stronger. You can't change yourself by will--or just thoughts--EXPIERIENCE! You are being a perfctionist. Pray for the challenge you NEED. Not perfection. I am off to work! Blessings!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for your answer and I don't mind a splash of good water. In fact I prefer that, people here are too focused on being nice and saying the polite thing, where I come from its more common to say what you really think without sugar coating things.

    I haven't written before because it has has been really busy at work, in a good way I think. I have noticed that my boss is really pushing me to have more exposure in the company, he wants me to resolve many thing directly, rather than have all the things go through him and he seems to want people to know me not only here in Mex but in the whole Americas area. It seems likes something you told me before in the whole year prediction. So maybe things will take an interesting turn here after all. I wonder though, why is he doing that, what's the plan? Surely he must know that I will not stay here forever.

    But I have also started to feel a bit homesick lately. Its been so long since I have seen my family and friends and my dad just got back from his trip, I haven't seen him for 2 years.

    I have been dating a bit more lately, but my heart really is not into it, so I thing I will need to take some more time out, just to be single and focus on having a good time with friends.

    Wish you a nice weekend!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Sounds like you are moving forward again and letting things reveal themselves. If you have been missing loved ones then connect--you can follow intuitions in other ways--sometimes when one is thinking of someone they just pick up a card or little gift---and it may turn out that the other person gets a sweet hello at a perfect time. It's just not about visiting. Sometimes missing someone or having them pop in our minds for a few days is our guides or angels keeping us connected. Iff you are suddenly missing loved ones--send something or call. Specially for you this is good practice as you tend to be all or nothing---lots of togetherness then space so practice more balance that allows you to be the loner you are yet doesn't cut you off completely. I have the urge to buy a gift that made no sense to me but sent it anyway only to find out it was perfect for some reason the person only knew and when people get stuff like that they feel so connected and special as if an angel hugged them. Also, the wondering about the bosses plan? Have you heard the saying that angels often work through other's unawares---perhaps he's not sure why but follows HIS intuitionms---which is why a logical road map rarely invites magic! Do not think too much. BLESSINGS! PS--an interesting man is about to enter--high energy, not your usual silent mysteriouse sulker--this man will bring fun and playfulness! He will tease you about being too seriouse.and you will have a strong friendship.