Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • then it's job related---either the job is near a cathedral type church or the job is non profit humanitarian related OR some connection to an event or meeting on Christmas. BLESSINGS!



  • Blmoon,

    Ok, but I think the non-profit connection seems the most probable one as this is where I'm focusing my job search efforts at the moment. I will let you know if I have any news about that.

    I hope you will get your answer too and get out of the lull, I so sympathize with you about what you are going through.

    Love,

    K.



  • Trust your intuition--it is good. When I saw the beautiful big church I did hear the words non-profit and humanitarian. Thank you so much for caring and I do appreciate any good wishes and prayers. I'm following my own best advice---letting the emotions play out so I can get my wise strong head back to deal with this---in my power! BLESSING! And PS---I'm very proud of you---you have come a long way and it was not easy for you! You will be rewarded.



  • Thank you Blmoon. I will keep you in my prayers and hope all will turn our for the best.

    Just when I started to get ready to go to bed and opened the window I thought that it sounded strangely quiet, so I looked out and saw a soft fresh blanket of snow covering the ground. I will take it as a good sign.

    Love,

    K.



  • What a beautiful picture you put in my head! Thank you---fresh silent snow is a beautiful peaceful thing and yes---fresh beginnings!



  • Blmoon,

    I wanted to ask if the image of the church you had in your mind, was anything like this.

    Love,

    K



  • I'll try again...



  • YES! It was cathedral style. I grew up around big churches in Chicago and they were Gothic. Is the picture from Europe? Switzerland?



  • It's St Stephen's cathedral in Vienna, Gothic style from 1160. I asked because I was going through some job advertisements and there was as a position I could apply to ( I seem to meet all their requirements) but it's complicated of course, many applicants I assume. I just hadn't previously even considered this city or country, but when I did some research about the organization and looked the location on the map I noticed that this cathedral is near their office. A long shot of course but I would like to try.

    Love,

    K.



  • Shoot for the moon! Be confident! In your letter of intent tell them exactly why you are the one for the job! You are capable! See yourself there! They would be lucky to have you. BLESSINGS!



  • ps---my first thought was Austria!! but I remembered you had an interest in Switzerland so assumed that.



  • Dear Blmoon,

    Merry Christmas! I hope you are having a great time with your loved ones. We had a kind of quiet family time yesterday, me and my sister prepared a very decadent dinner and went to a small church we always go to, there was a new pastor there who is originally from Germany but has been living here for quite a while and speaks my language with a funny accent but he was like a breath of fresh air, his speech was very modern and he even told some jokes, which I think was quite refreshing.

    I wish you and your family happy holidays and hopefully 2014 will have something wonderful in store for all of us.

    Love,

    K.



  • You have HAPPY VIBES! Sounds like the perfect day for YOU. I too am having a beautiful and grand display of Christmas but as well low key---just he way we like it. And yes 2014 is the year of rebirth


    a manifestation of all our hard work and housecleaning---finally we get to see our changes our dreams blossom. I am very proud of you!! You did the work. It was not easy. Wear your Goddess crown proudly! BLESSINGS!

    PS---Your father has some kind of surprise!



  • Thank you, Blmoon. It means a lot to me that you have believed in me and supported me in these last few years. The year of rebirth? Universally? I do hope so, this one has been very chaotic for me at least. As for the happy vibes, I guess I am happy, but not so much because everything is as I wish but more because I feel I have done all I can for now and I hope something good will come from that.

    I don't know what the surprise could be. My father is not here, he is sailing in the Caribbean at the moment, he's the captain of one private yacht sailing around the world.

    Love,

    K.



  • Happy New Year, Blmoon!!! Hopefully it will be a great one and, as you said, truly a year of rebirth.

    Love,

    K.



  • HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I see many NEW things for both of us! Lot's of surprises and opportunities to find the people and places we truly feel at home with. This will NOT be a year of isolation and house cleaning but more of a year to take action and receive


    I'm ready! BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    It’s been a while, I hope everything is going great. I have postponed writing to you beacuse I really hoped that the next time I write to you I would have some excellent news that everything is going great and there is only smooth sailing from now on. But unfortunately it is not so.

    The job search is turning out to be a complete nightmare. I was so hopeful that I would get at least some feedback from all the places I applied to in December, but so far I haven’t heard anything, so I’m not very hopeful about that anymore. I have paractically no money left and I don’t really see any way out of this at the moment. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have been so focused and hopeful that I will find a job I would really like, but now I’m not sure anymore. I know the places I have applied are very dificult to get into (like the UN and other international organizations), but I don’t see much point in applying to some random job either that seems like a dead end from the beginning, although I might have no other choice soon. Honestly, I’m just very confused about all this. I passed the last exam I needed to take to obtain another professional certificate and I really felt that it was a right time to finish it now and it was pretty expensive, but I though it will be worth it. But the point is that it is really necessary only for the big international organizations, not for any random local job I could find here for which I’m way overqualified for. So it seems like a waste of a lot of money, effort and time if I can’t get a better job because of that. Do you have any advice to me? What to do differently? I have actually reached out to several people asking for help and recommendations (and I really do hate very much to ask personal favors from people:), but all I get is that “yes, you do seem very qualified, maybe you can (a) improve your application or motivation letter or (b) get more work experience in this sector. Not helpful at all.

    I have also been pondering a lot about the possibility of studying something new and diferent, and there are some things I’m interested in, but in reality I can’t afford that at the moment. And I would need to kind of test drive these ideas before I decide that I will start a whole new career althogether.

    I saw what you wrote to CWB and I must say many things resonated with me as well. Especially the emotions and health thing. I think my stress level in the past few months has been about as high as it gets and I’m trying to deal with that, but it still impacts me. I have this almost constant dull ache in the upper chest, shoulders and neck (only on the left side), so I read a bit about the fibromyalgia you mentioned and I think that might be one possible cause. All I know is that when I meditate or use some other relaxation techniques and try to breathe through the pain it goes away for awhile and doing very intense cardio helps also. But it bothers me the most when I go to sleep, I like to sleep on my stomach but lately I can’t because if I put too much pressure on my chest or shoulder it hurts, so I need to sleep on my back. I don’t want to take any painkillers because the pain is not very intense, just a dull ache, but it can get quite annoying, I hope this will all pass when the other bigger issues get resolved.

    I have had several dreams about escaping lately that make me wake up feeling very anxious. In the first one I saw that I was kept in a basement in my grandparents old house. When I was a child, me, my sister and my cousins usually liked to play there in the winter when it was too cold to get outside. I remember that I always thought it was an exciting place to play, but also a bit scary, so I never went there alone. Anyway, in the dream I saw at first that me and my cousins were kept as prisoners there (by our family) and we all had our hands tied together with a rope, like in a row (my one had tied to one of my cousins hand and my other hand tied to my sisters hand), so we couldn’t really move. The next thing I saw was that I was alone and I realized that now I can escape. I put the basement on fire, so no one can follow me and I crashed a big glass door (that was actually in the living room), I saw a pair of red ballerina shoes on the terrace, put them on and ran for my life. I woke up before I knew if I actually got away or not.

    In the second dream was in a big empty hotell-like building and I was trying to escape from someone I didn’t know. I ran around in the building looking for a way out, finally I got outside and was running on some road where cars were passing me by, then I felt that the people chasing me were getting nearer and nearer and I heard a woman say that “did you really think you would get away that easily”, then I woke up.

    Sorry for such a long post, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what Einstein said that “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”, so I think that’s were I’m at, maybe I can’t solve this situation on my own (as much as I hate admitting it☺).

    Love,

    K.



  • I am dealing withe same energy visiting us as everyone. Past challenges and unfinished business---or perhaps for some the business HAS been finished but we are not giving us due credit or wearing are new selves proudly.Your dreams have brought up family issues. Your mode of survival was to escape. Now you are feeling that same urge as the family has not changed dynamics. Knowing what you know about your nature you should expect to feel smothered or trapped at some point. It's just who you are. I do not see you changing that. The question is can you manage that? You are revisiting a challenge---your loneliness versus fear. You have to manage intimacy or you will find yourself being attracted to detached men again as a safety net. You want to feel close to loving others yet you are a person who needs their space and alone time. You absorb others to the point of overload---tense overload and a head full of static. If you are truly stagnate right now you must find out what the lesson is. The red shoes are very telling. Red shoes are used as a symbol in many cultures and stories. They represent passion, independence and female power. Even the native Americans have red shoe fables. There needs to be a balance to wear the red shoes as one cannot dance forever. Red shoes must be grounded with discipline and rest. Are you getting this aspect? Rest and alone time---without having to run miles away? Are you disciplined with a routine that keeps you grounded and relaxed. A good habit, meditation? Soaking in Epsom baths? Magnesium rich foods for muscle relaxation? Stretching everyday. A yoga class? I'm not doing too many readings right now but I think you will get my point. Deal with your body and emotions FIRST and the job issue will solve itself. BLESSINGS!



  • Blmoon,

    I get the good habits part and I have been working on that, still room for improvement ,but I think I understand it more like how the sleep, exercise, meditation, nutrition etc goes hand in hand.

    What I'm not sure about is how to change the relationship dynamics. I certainly have enough rest and alone time. I'm staying at my parents place for now, but only my mother is here as my father is traveling. I'm not sure if I can practice changing the dynamics by myself. Although, I do understand better what bothers me in my relationship with my mother. When we are both home we don't actually spend very much time in the same room or even talk too much (my choice I guess). I mostly have a feeling that whenever we talk more or get a bit closer she interprets it as a sign to ask for some kind of a favor to check off from her to do list and that just makes me go into a shut-down mode, I mostly just say OK fine and I leave, but really I'm kind of disappointed that she constantly does that. I guess it can be part of all this I love you but I don't trust you dynamics. I'm probably exaggerating, but honestly sometimes it feels that no matter what you do it is never enough, like good to have one more thing off the list BUT there is always a next BIG thing that has to be done. I have talked with my sister about that too and she also agrees that my mother can get a bit overwhelming and dramatic and make everyone else feel really bad for not doing enough or disappointing her in some way. I have occasionally voiced my opinions about that, but I think she doesn't really get it and the truth is I don't want to hurt her by criticizing her so I'd rather put up with it for a while and when I get enough, I leave. Also I don't see the point of stirring up a lot of drama when I feel it won't really change anything. I'd like to think that just being aware of the issues is enough, but I'm not sure it works that way.

    Love,

    K.



  • OH YOU ARE VERY INSIGHTFUL!

    This is your truth, the lesson and the cherry on top of the recent achievement away getting to know yourself better. You came home with the blinders off! This is uncomfortable but good! It's hard separating the emotions from the awareness---if you can detach from the discomfort you can see how your mom has influenced who you are. You are not yourself around your mother. You are not alone. Perhaps your mom is a loner too but denys it...doesn't allow it to be true so she creates "good and honorable" reasons for putting distance between herself and others. Trust your gut....you are right......she is there but not. Trust your feelings. There is a contradiction and you know it. Your mom has put an invisible line you don't cross. You learned a fear that holds you back, although last year you did achieve an awareness over that and learned to override habit with choice. Now I can see how your mom and dad originally clicked. They both have a don't ask silent rule. Even when they are doing one thing but calling it something else you must not expose it. This really is a good this discomfort. It will help you. I know personly how hard it is to find fault with ones mother


    but you must see the truth without judgment so you can trust yourself. Because you deny your truth it carries over to other people. You are very insightful. Also, that cathedral reference to a job----is not gone. It still means something. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now......this time with your family has a purpose and the moment it is served----you will be on your way. BLESSINGS!