Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for the confirmation, I will keep in mind whay you said needing to fortify knowledge with action. And I'm working on the patience part:) Things are going kind of slowly at the moment, but maybe its better to get my ducks in a row before the next step. I have put the new job search on the back burner for the moment and focusing more on the moving. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff, well, pretty much everything apart form my clothes and some other small things. The only thing that made me sad was giving away all my books, but otherwise it is kind of liberating to let everything go literally and symbolically.

    Love,

    K.



  • yes it is!!! And I too purge last on my books---never enough room for books. There is always a purging on all levels before a new leap in life--I am doing the same. It does feel good once the letting go is accepted


    I hate the early stage of indesicion---moving stuff into ready to go bins---then moving annoying bins around ----eventually sick of the chaos and just getting rid of it----I put large items to the curb for a good karma gift and donate and just plain trash stuff that has a bad memory. I always RECEICE some form of blessing after a big brave purge---you will too. Always leave room in your home to receive---not all shelves or cabinates or closets need to be full!! Same with people--you have purged those too


    patience and gratefullness will bring you abundance soon. BLESSINGS1



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for your kind words. I wanted to let you know that you were right about my neighbor and my girlfriend, they have already broken up, I don't know exactly what happened but from what I have understood he left her. So it seems that it was a dodged bullet after all. And to confirm that, yesterday my neighbor wrote on facebook that he was going to run a half marathon and one of his friends replied that "what a surprise, as so far the only running you have ever done is running after women" (I thought that was very amusing) and he replied that "well someone has to be the pacemaker (the "rabbit") if you want to work out" (after that I thought that someone really needs to smack some sense into this guy...). Well anyway, none of this really matters much now anyway, but in a way it is a nice closure, knowing that I was right to stay away from him.

    I have started to organize my fairwell party, although I don't really know what is coming next, I feel that the ending of this phase really needs to celebrated:)

    Much love,

    K.



  • That is so funny!!! That woman who said that is my kind of lady! And see how much you changed--remember when you felt that a great pull--attraction had to mean something good---when really there are other possabilities and it isn't always the he must be the one--the vibes are so strong. No, sometimes hes just magnetic--born with it and uses it as a power in a lazy weak way---YET cannot enjoy his catch long because inside he knows how easy it was and so he never gets to know if the girl truelly liked him OR it was his mojo ----so sad! Yes, now everytime you run into a player--you will see rabbit ears on his head and giggle!!! Buy yourself something nice--a new cd---a cute purse--maybe both!!!



  • Happy Birthday Blmoon!!! Wishing you an abundance of love and happiness! May it be a joyful day for you!

    Love,

    K.



  • THANK YOU--IT WAS!

    I went to Cassadaga, a famouse spritual camp and just wandered around the shops, bought myself some jewelry--really splurged on a divine butterfly pin and a necklace AND ended up visiting the building were my once psychic used to be in. She past away at least ten years ago. The building was kinda sad without her presence but I ended up getting a reading in her old room by a very very interesting young man who did an excellent job reading cards for me and the I ching--and of course I in turn had some important messages for him from two people that had passed and he had issues that were on his mind---he didn't ask--I just gave what I heard and it was a win win for both of us!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your birthday, it really does sound like a lovely day. I also love buying jewelry, I always have some special memories with the jewelry that I have and it just seems much more practical then buying some souvenirs. I have always wondered how do you know if someone is really a good reader or just fooling you, what are the signs? One of my girlfriends here has recently started to go to see different readers here, the first one was a Cuban woman who follows the Santería tradition/religion, my friend said that she was not very convinced with her and she charged extra for every little additional thing. Today she went to see one mexican woman who lives near the ancient pyramides which are considered an important religious center here, I don't know how that went. And her next plan is to go and see one tarot reader in one of the markets here that is famous for having a huge variety of herbal medicines and items related to magic and the occult.

    Other than that, I’m struggling with a dilemma. I told you that I agreed with my bosses offer to stay until the end of June to help out with one project. But until now I didn’t know exactly what project it was and that it would be in another city (or at least include frequent travel to that city). The problem is that this other city is currently the 2nd most dangerous city in Mexico (and according to a recent survey the 5th most dangerous city in the world in 2012), so most countries, including US, have issued travel warnings to that place, recommending to defer all non-essential travel. There is a lot of ongoing violence as two of the largest drug cartels are fighting over turf there. So the point being that I really don’t want to go to work there because of the security issues, especially because I look very clearly like a foreigner and it is hard to blend in with the crowd. In fact I’m kind of angry that they would even suggest something that seems just so unreasonable to me. At the same time I know that many of my colleagues often go to work in places like that without making too much fuss about it as we have our offices and many important clients there. I have also done a few short business trips to some of these areas, but I haven´t spent much time there and nothing has ever happened. However, this time I feel really uncomfortable about the prospect of doing this project and as my motivation is pretty low anyway knowing that I will be leaving soon, I’m thinking if I should decline the offer and stick to my initial plan and leave in the end of May after all. I haven’t changed my flight yet anyway, so I still have my booking for the 28 of May. The other option would be to tell them that I will do the project only if I can work from Mexico City and didn’t have to travel to the other city. What is your opinion about all this? I’m wondering if this is one of those life events you said that might come along to smack some sense into you if you go against you timing:)

    Love,

    K.



  • Remember what I said about this phase being about putting lessons to action--the knew you would be tested and that spirit was not giving you a map but just enough to validate your own intuition. I did in that reading about the job stay offer remember a little bit of feeling some kind of hidden agenda--I remember suggestig to get things in writing but I wasn't sure what the surprise would be just that some agenda was hidden from you at that time--- and now am certein this is that surprise element I felt coming. I'm not sure if it is real or I'm picking up YOUR fear. I did get a chill the moment I read the mexico area they suggested. Saw a big red STOP sign. And heard spirit say INTUITION. Speak up---Knowing you have issues about speaking up does make sense.Here's the thing--spirit is wanting YOU to really know yourself but says I can give you a helping process suggestion. Because fear is both your friend and foe--first--you know you can use fear sometimes to sabotage yourself when your world is about to get bigger because your nature is to isolate so consider that. Secound, you DO have excellent intuition! BUT your voice is often stuck in that little girl taught not to cause trouble---not speack up because others have a great energy about their need to not get called out for not having you in their best interest.. You can and have gotten sucked into the selfish agendas of others. Here's the bottom line


    that moment the boss revealed the assighnment---what did you feel? Did you have body discomfort? A sick feeling? A strong voice in your head? Did it say no way? Did you feel a bit trapped? You need to start really gathering some self knowing so expect these tests. Spirit says I can reveal to you that before you told your boss you were moving-- THIS assighnment was already in the works. In fact they were counting on it and surprised you were leaving. Were you being groomed? Think about all this. Why did they think you would have had no argument and would go to a dangerouse place---I live in the US and even Americans are aware of the danger there. When you forst took a job with them would you have accepted going straight to the danger zone. You have a history of being groomed--seduced in small doses. Of ignoring the little stuff that ends up a big deal that surprises you. This time---you are wiser---you resisted much the last few months. You know exactly what to do about this surprise. You have been growing a protector---a male energy about yourself---what does he think about this offer. See yourself as a balance of self reliance--you are female yet you have your OWN male energy that you can trust. This male energy in YOU is not your father or any of the men who had hidden needs not in your best interest. You know what to tell your boss. For this process--knowing how you get stuck in the what if phase of desicion making--let the what if go---the new you will find that just by making the right desicion for you ---all the rest will fall into place. BLESSINGS!

    PS--I will give you thoughts about psychics another time.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I do remember what you said about this being a testing period , but it still came as a surprise. Actually when he told me what and where the project was going to be, he just said it in a casual manner and I didn't know anything about this city, so I thought great, I can do some traveling before I leave. It was only when I started to investigate a bit more about this place and talking with my friends that I understood that no way will I go there. I guess I should have suspected something from their eagerness to pay for my apartment for the last month and the flight back to Europe etc. So I have decided that going there is not an option, but I haven't decided yet what exactly to tell my boss. I need to talk with him ASAP, as the project was supposed to start last week already, but has to be postponed to next week. I am tempted to invent some excuse why I have to go back early and not deal with any of this, but I understand what you say about needing to speak up. The point is that at this point, I just don't even want to get involved in this project even if my boss will suggest that I might do the work from Mexico City. Because I can already see how this will go, this is a very important client and a big project, I'm more than certain that there will be a moment when I will be told that deadlines are coming and something has to be resolved quickly and that just cannot be done without going to the other city. And as they will be paying for my apartment and flight etc, they probably would think that I should return the favor. So I don't want to even put myself in that situation. I just don't know yet what would be the right thing to do without shooting myself in the foot just before leaving here. I might need a reference from my boss for my next job, but that might depend on how things will resolve now. I absolutely hate this situation:(

    Thank you for your help.

    Love,

    K.



  • You are a smart cookie! I would be weighing the same options--first I too would always worry about burning bridges. Since they where not straight wioth you --you do not owe them that so yes you could say---emergency---dad had a stroke I must fly in immediatly and let it stretch with excuses untill you just disapear. Or you could just march in there or better write them a very well thought out e-mail or doc. attachment so you are not swayed by there presence and promises. Keep it professional and say although I have always felt a great loyalty to this company after researching the area you suggested I'm afraid I must be honest and decline. I know I was agreeable at first but I have always felt confident of the asighnments given and was surprised myself when I researched this area. It is not some place I am willing to go.........flash forward--if a future job asks why you left THEY WILL agree when you tell them the last company was a good job but they wanted you to go to......that lace they will agree with you and understand and may even respect your wise choice and know right off if they are thinking of trying the same thing that you are no easy mark. WIN WIN. Do whatever you really feel will fit the new you---you are doing very well!! BLESSINGS



  • Blmoon,

    Oh, you are reading my mind:) I had been struggling with this decision the whole day. I decided that I will go for the speaking up option. So just about 30 minutes ago (before reading your answer) I decided to write my boss a letter, saying pretty much everything you mentioned here about why I first said yes and then after doing some investigation realized it would not be safe. One of the partner sent me a letter yesterday explaining a bit more what had to be done, and one thing was completely outside of my expertise, so I added that too, that I might not be the right person to do that part of the job. I wanted to write the letter today because this project is already very urgent and also to leave everything in writing and as you said, to think it out well and not get distracted by any promises my boss might make during the conversation, although I did suggest that we can talk it over tomorrow if he has time. The first version of the letter was quite aggressive so I tuned it down a bit and kept reminding myself more head, less emotion, I think the version I sent was pretty okay, just explaining my reasons, not accusing anything or anyone:)

    I agree that I might be able to explain this all in the future job if necessary. And I still have very good contacts in my last position in Chile so I will get in touch with them about references if I need any.

    Love,

    K.



  • GOOD JOB!!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I wanted to let you know that in the end it went quite well I think. I talked with my boss last Monday, explaining why I don't want to do the project and I think he understood, he didn't try to convince me to stay. I told him that I can work until this Friday and help him to finish whatever needs to be finished. Not sure what he really thinks, but I think everything is fine. I'm not counting on a reference unless he will offer it, but I already contacted my last boss in Chile and one other colleague and they both agreed to give me a reference if I should need one.

    I have been crazy busy selling my furniture, giving away my things and packing, but it seems everything is starting to come together and I can leave next Tuesday with everything in order.

    Resisting temptation on the other hand has not been so easy. One of the Spanish neighbors had a birthday party in the weekend and all the neighbours were there too. I managed to avoid the Spanish guy for most of the night, he seemed kind of flirty but I ignored that. In the end of the party there were about 5 of us left, just chatting about random things, but then somehow the topic turned to what we like about dating people from different cultures and The Spanish guy asked me something personal that was pushing my buttons, so I just snapped that from what I have observed he doesn't have very high standards anyway. He didn't say anything, but it was a very low blow of course, especally saying it in front of some other people. I thought that after that he should probably not even speak to me, which would be fine. However, when we got back home, he said that why don't we have one last drink, so we did, but on course one thing led to another and he is very hard to resist, even if I know what a player he is. I'm leaving in a week, so it doesn't matter now anyway, I will probably not even see him again, but I hate having proved him right that he indeed can get pretty much anyone he wants.

    Love,

    K.



  • I gave you an alcohol warning early on. Set a firm boundry on that subject. How HUMAN we are? Just when we are feeling too good? How is it we just have to ungift ourselves by doing something passively regret ful. You became passive despite your intention NOT to give a prize away to others who are incapable of apreciating it--forgive yourself and do better. It may help to know that it is easy to pick up others energy over our own and confuse it as OURS. Magnetic people with LARGE apatites can devour a person who has a passive weakness--that person feels their desire bigger than their OWN. You realize you knew he had no standars and then revealed a hidden truth about how you see yourself by joining the club. Apologise to yourself and be very forgiving and kind and use that event as a boundrY for the future---we cannot always change who we are but we learn to be aware and manage. If the fun you had with him was worth the regret then such is life but if you truely regret it---make new firm rules to prevent another repeat. Review the night and be honest as to where and when you could have prevented the event. Introverts are often seduced by the letting go feeling that comes withe one drink too many but it also it also puts our protector to sleep! INTENTION always be clear about your intention. If there was a part of you that wanted him bad---find out why--in a non judgemental conversation with yourself. I believe this event will serve you well in the new future. There will be a boring lull in your journey--which you hate--but do not get impatient because you will soon enough get very very crazy busy. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I think that he particularly doesn’t even really matter here, he is just one of these very attractive guys who is hard to resist. What really matters is that I might have to reconsider why I have claimed to have some moral high ground and judge other people for not living up to some moral standards when obviously under the right circumstances I’m no better than anyone else. The “never say never” thing. Or maybe in my over eagerness to get know or define myself better I have exaggerated some values that are maybe not even mine, but something I have picked up along the way. Maybe I’m not as conservative as I think I am or shouldn’t even try to be. I get told that a lot that I seem too reserved and conservative and I should loosen up more. There might be some truth to that. I don’t want to go to the other extreme either, but finding some good balance in between might be useful perhaps.

    Another lull? I hoped that would be through already. But I know the job search might take some time.

    Love,

    K.



  • You are a VERY smart woman!! I love your thinking. You definetly have learned to step back and analize objectively---that is a skill that will always take you far. What you question is your INTENTION--and it is wise to own it. And so true--we tend to be judgemental of others equal to our judgement of ourselves. Perhaps he was hot--you are a grown as s woman and wanted him--nothing less nothing more. BUT you didn't quite feel entitled. Not sure of your moral boundries----as I said--at your age you are finding yourself. It's hard to realise consequines if any untill we cross that bridge. Some folks trust knowing better others have to learn by expierience---I'm one of those that needs to learn the hard way!!! By expierience.

    BLESSINGS---your future is about to go from a big void feeling to holy cow---so many options.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I have been back now at home for a week, busy seeing everyone and trying to get over the jet lag. Its been nice so far, even more than I expected. The friends I have here really make me laugh, the ones I had there not so much, I have missed that. I met the little sister too, we went for dinner on Friday with my whole family, apparently she has been spending quite a lot of time with my parents this year. She was very sweet but shy, so she didn't talk to me much, but seemed curious. Next morning she made me a smoothie and added me to skype:) I need some time too to adjust to this new situation, but I don't think I have any problems with this, as long as her mother is not trying to be in contact with me, I know her from long time ago and she has tried to contact me in the last few years, but I don't think I owe her anything and I prefer to avoid her.

    The friend of mine who was supposed to move to Switzerland and who invited me to go with her said that her company won't let her make the transfer, so she will probably be staying in London where she has lived for almost 10 years now. So it seems that wherever I will go, I will be going alone again. And I'm pretty sure I will go somewhere else, I love being at home for vacations but I still do not see myself staying here, at least not yet. It is so quiet here...after Mex it seems like life here is going in slow motion, not much traffic, noise or anything going on. I think I will used it as an opportunity to spend more time in nature and trying to get in balance, otherwise I will just panic about the uncertainty of what comes next:)

    Love,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I hope everything is going well and you are enjoying the summer.

    I don't know if you are around much lately, but I wanted to ask you about my cousin. I just don't get it, it seems that bad luck is following him around. He is a cousin from my mother side, just turned 35. Last year he was diagnosed with brain aneurysm. Between september and december he had several bulges in the blood vessels and these were operated and for a while things seemed okay, but in the last months 2 new ones have developed that are in a location that cannot be accessed any more. So the doctors said that unfortunately there is nothing more they can do, other than to monitor therese weekly and see if they have expanded or not. The only other thing he can do is to keep calm (how on earth can someone do that?), keep blood-pressure and cholesterol in check and stop smoking. My cousin decided not to talk about these new unoperable ones to anyone apart from my mother, who accidentally told me, but nobody else know, he doesn't want to tell that to his parents or brother. So now he just goes to the weekly checks and hopes that this will get better somehow. On the other had he has just recently started to get his life together, he has been changing jobs a lot, he is very impatient, cannot concentrate very well, so it always causes him problems. He has suffered from depression a lot in the past. But last year my father hired him for a project that he really likes, they were building a luxury speed boat for a very famous person in my country. My father was happy with him as he is quite good at his job and he had a good salary etc. Also he finally got his own apartment and a new car and moved in with his girlfriend. So things started to finally look more optimistic. BUT this week my father had to fire him, because it turned out that he took something valuable from work and when my father started investigating, he saw from the security tape that my cousin took that thing. He talked with him several times asking about it, but my cousin was denying that and started accusing his colleagues etc. So my father had no other option than to fire him. I'm just wondering that I hope my cousin will be okay, and this will not push him over the edge, his medical condition is complicated enough, but adding to that the loss of the job, I just don't know... I wonder if you can see anything about all this. Like why is he sabotaging himself like that? And how bad is his condition?

    I appreciate any insight you may have, as always.

    Much love,

    K.



  • this is touchy as you did not say what I know and see and you may not want it public. Your uncle is not so much under the "influence" of bad luck as it looks. He has a secret--an expensive one that also endangers his health. He abuses his body. Something pushes his heartrate to the max and he can have a stroke. His doctor knows and if his parents knew of his condition they would most likely get to the heart of it and find out. He needs a major intervention as yes he is very much in danger. I'm so sorry! His only hope is to really stop abusing himself. I think he did have an epiphamy for awhile --was scared and decided to straighten out but then he soon forgets and says oh one more time won't kill me. This issue is bigger than him. I see someone is going to corner him and demand truth and will bring to the light his secret---iyou are not so good at confronting secrets but if you get him alone you may try--do not be afraid of offending him because later if something happens you will regret not speaking up. You can say, to him you are not judging but concerned and you know he is not taking care of himself and something is terribly wrong and if he doesn't come clean you must tell his family. It would help as well if he visited a health store and got advice for strengthening the bloodvessels. But that is just a bandaid for the real cause but at least something. Pray to saint Michael to give him strength to clean up his body and life and resist temptation----you can also envision a cord running from your heart to your cousins head head and talk to him as if he can hear--specialy at bedtime---tell him your concerns and beg him to please do the right thing. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you! I'm not sure what kind of a secret you mean. If its drugs, then I'm not so sure about that, as far as I know and my mother says he has never had problems with drugs. He lived with my parents for about 1,5 years until last year, he is from small town, but when he moved to the capital to look for work he had no place to stay, so my mom said she can stay with them. And also it would be hard to hide as he has weekly checkups for the aneurysm and this includes a blood test. He does have a caffein and nicotine addiction, a long time ago he had problems with alcohol, but after that he stopped drinking and has been completely sober after that for many many years now. Another thing is that he has always been doing all kinds of extreme sports, everything from skating, mountain climbing, snowboarding, rafting etc, and has had many injuries for that. Last accident was apparently a month ago or something when he hit a stone with a kayak. I don't know if my mother can say anything to her sister about the medical condition, my cousin asked not to, because they would just worry and there is nothing they can do. His father had a stroke about 4 or 5 years ago, he might not handle this well. As for the health store, my mother already got him some supplement that are supposed to strengthen the bloodvessels and in the past few weeks at least one of the vessels that had a problem has been starting to get thicker.

    My mother talked with him yesterday about the job thing and what happened, and he was just crying and said that it was a misunderstanding and that he did not do steal anything, they have a pile of leftovers at work that the workers can take and apparently this item was also in that pile and he even asked someone if he can take it. My dad said that unless some of the co-workers back him up and say something about this, he just can't do anything more, because he can't give him any special treatment because he is family.

    Love,

    K.