Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • Another thing, I had a dream that I think can mean something, but I'm not sure what.

    I was climbing on top of a pyramid, it had several different levels and when I reached the last level of stairs, I saw that there is some kind of construction work in progress and the last set of stairs to the top are closed to the public. Suddenly I saw a group of tourists beside me and one woman from the group decided that she would go up anyway. When she started climbing the handrail broke and she fell down to the the level below and all the guys working on the construction fell down too. I stayed where I was, watching the people fall. Then the dream ended.

    Have a nice day!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Bump, if you have time



  • Had to laugh at your last dream! Because it speaks TO ME! I'm spent right now yet always wish to give more but not wise to ignore time for restore as the whole effort falls apart and then you are forced to take a longer break! So, will get to your dreams soon as I get my construction under control. I can tell you that your father's infidelity was a direct symptom of his intimacy issues. There are different outlets for that so no it does not mean nessasarily that your man will cheat but you will be attracted to men who need space--who may love you deeply but suffer anxiety at too much closeness. Some men get their space by being good awhile but creating an incident or drama to excuse distance with loved ones. Or they are workaholics or they cheat as younger men have needs for physical connections but if they are phobic of intimacy they get their outlet or needs met by affairs with women who they really aren't inlove with so it's just an outlet--they may lie to themselves and say they love them but really they don't. They love their wives but avoid too much intimacy as it causes great anxiety or worse-to their embarrasment--the inability to get "it up".



  • Hi Blmoon,

    The dream thing is so funny:) Be sure to work on the construction then:))

    I guess I would be okay with the space thing within reason. But I don't think I would tolerate infidelity, there is just no excuse for that.

    Take care!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Hope you have had time to rest and recover.

    Very few light bulbs going off lately and I have trouble remembering any of the dreams. Do you have any recommendations how to speed things up a bit?

    You know I initially thought that I will stay here until the end of January, then I thought okay, until February max, and now I'm thinking about staying until the end of May. But the time is going by so rapidly and the new ideas are coming so slowly that now I'm not even sure if I have a better plan about what to do or where to go by the end of May. I don't know, is there any point to stay here for longer? I feel that things are kind of on hold, my apartment is half furnished, because I don't want to invest a lot in the apartment if I won't be staying here for long etc.

    I have gone on some dates with a few guys this week and although they are really nice, interesting, attractive and so on, objectively even more suitable for me than my ex, it just makes me miss my ex even more. Maybe I can't get over him completely until I move, as long as I'm here it still seems possible that we can make up.

    Wish you a beautiful Sunday!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Bump



  • Bump, if you have time:)



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I hope things are going great.

    If you have time, maybe you can o another reading for me, I feel I could use a push in the right direction.

    My mom and my godmother were here on vacations for a few weeks and we had a great time together. Lots of fun and also talking a lot about the past. I used the opportunity to bring back more memories from my childhood, but it didn’t actually bring up any issues or problems I feel I should deal with. I was also asking them about my dad and how he was when I was very little and they actually both confirmed that he was very affectionate dad and spent a lot of time with me and my sister, it was only later when he started to work a lot. So I don’t know what else should I look for.

    Anyway, having such a great time with them made me feel I must be crazy to be so far away from all my family and friends, seeing people I care about once a year is not enough. So I’d like to go at least back to Europe if not my own country to be more near to them, but I still don’t have a strong feeling about any specific place where I would like to live. I don’t know what to do, should I just go back and hope its going to work out well or wait until things become more clear?

    I feel the progress towards finding out more about myself or some talent I have is a bit slow, maybe I should be doing more to find the answers I need? If so, what?

    Wish you a nice day!

    K.



  • I'm about to rest awhile but my impression is that you are still discovering that part of you that has opposite needs---you crave closeness yet need distance. That is the part of you that craves awareness. Because it will always taint your desicions. Meaning, that you must question your impulses by examining that reality. To say to yourself--ok---am I hearing a true calling to do this or am I reacting to a fear. Your amviliance or stuck feeling comes from that disagreement within yourself. The lesson or challange for you is how to stop being all or nothing---that pattern of getting too close--panic and running far away. You need to find some happy inbetween. But you fear you cannot control others--you fear you cannot protect your own boundries. You feel that you can't hurt people when you need space---they will take it personal so you become part of situations that give the excuse to hide or go far away.Awareness of yourself is the key now. You had such a great great time with loved ones--you felt there love their missing you but had they stayed longer---how long do you see yourself not getting eventually anxiouse---almost ridely feeling like hiding--not answering the phone? A part of you finds it hard to like that side of yourself that gets alergic to too much togetherness--says what's wrong with me? I love them--they are just being sweet and loving---I can't hurt them and why do I want to get away? Use this new moon to start a reflection of the past and see if you see any patterns of feelings that came up everytime you found yourself making descisions to disapear into something else or some one else. Either a relationship or job or just the urge to "go". In other words what are you running from and why and if it is a truth in your nature you can not change then it's time to at least acknowledge it and accept it in a loving way. I think most people who really love you already know that part of you that needs to be alone. I think going back is ok---but only if you bring with you a new awaerness of seeing yourself clearly as you connect again with loved ones. Right now---you can take note of how you feel when alone and distant----the emotions that come up. Keep a journal--starting now and when you go back keep it up


    a journal will help you see patterns. I think you feel smothered by love at times and there is guilt over that as your head finds that negative. Often, creative people have this issue but put it to good use as creating takes seriouse alone time and detachment. I believe your choice in men--the attractions subconciousely chooses men who are really unavailable in the end. So they are safe because really you will not lose yourself in them. You absorb others intensly and it eventually gets uncomfortable. The only way to find a happy middle ground is to practice with this awareness with people who love you and you love as well--so in that respect moving close to loved ones could be a good start. And if suddenly after three months of that you start getting impulses to go far away or find yourself all absorbed in some powerfull man attraction you can stop and say--wait a minute---then use your head to make desicions that outsmart yourself. We can not change who we are at the core but we can be aware and manage that. BLESSINGS!



  • PS--your dream. any climbing or assension is about higher conciesness. Climbing stairs or being uppstairs in a house ---the higher up the better. A fear of that is the two parts of you that differ---the part of you that yes wants to KNOW but the part that holds you back and fears. The fear is the key to solving that. Also, more people fear success than failure. Sounds crazy but true. In fact--spirit will drop that in your lap--in a book or person--but it will present itself.



  • Thank you so much, Blmoon!

    I think the diary is a good idea, I know that I easily forget the actual everyday feelings and things can easily seem more rosy when looking back from a distance.

    I think you are right about me being allergic to too much togetherness. It manifests even in small insignificant things. Like when I make plans to do something with friends, can be something really nice for example like going for a day trip or whatever, I feel excited at first but soon after compromising to doing something I start feeling anxious like it’s some kind of an obligation and I would like to get out of that. I know that when I get past these feelings and I actually do the thing, I have a good time and I’m happy for doing that etc. I can recognize that anxious feeling well and I do try to fight it sometimes but doesn’t work always. I guess this is the thing where I should make a decision to outsmart myself as you said.

    And I do feel bad that I get annoyed when I spend too much time with someone, even with people I love dearly. So I know I need to balance the alone time with togetherness to be able to have good relationships. If there is too much togetherness I´m restless and get upset about stupid things, so to avoid that I prefer to keep more distance, it helps me to have more positive interactions with others and be happier with myself. But when there is too much distance I loose contact with many people as I´m really bad with keeping in touch if it takes an effort.

    On some days I feel that my anxiousness about going back is bigger than the fear of staying here all alone. I guess I’m afraid that if I go back then everything will be the same as before and I just continue where I left off 3 years ago. So I think that a compromise would be moving somewhere nearer but not to my own country. But maybe that is a decision made out of fear and not a true calling.

    I do hope some clarity will come in whichever form.

    Have a nice rest then and I wanted to thank you again for your help, I appreciate it very-very much!

    All the best!

    K.



  • I just want to say this thread is very enjoyable. God bless you, Kuruts, you've inspired me! May all good things (and people) come your way ❤



  • Thank you LeoLight, what a nice thing to say. I wish all the best to you too!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Sorry to bother you with this, but I have to ask.

    I saw on facebook today that one woman was commenting something about my ex to his roommate. It just completely shook me, I went home and just cried. I have for some reason believed that he hasn't moved on and he still loves me but now I'm starting to doubt that. Its been 3 months since we broke up, but I just don't seem to get him completely out of my mind.

    Am I crazy to still hope something?

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • Little bump:)



  • Kuruts

    this is the yucky side of loving--being close and vulnerable. Nothing wrong wth you. In fact hurt is hurt--even when we do not dwell on it--move on--it surprises us with a visit--everyone gets those kinds of surprises and we are human and for a bit in the moment the hurt comes rushing back---it can spoil a whole day--bring on a crying jag----etc. Feelings are just feelings--honor the emotions--let them have their way but then at some point the brain says enough and makes busy choices---it is healthy to honor our emotions--hurt is not a weakness. Balance is the key. What hurt you was the reality that he is living a life without you---as you are without him. It hasn't been that long. There is an expected grief period---a loss has occurred. As for facebook and comments----do not put much value in third party comments. Often, reality is hidden---often people make comments with intended malice--to stir up selfish distance between competition. Often things are said with little regard to truth. Specially with the younger folks--facebook is a place to control with gossip and manipulation and vent


    like high school days. Here's the thing--facebook can be positive and negative. Keep a moderation---a more adult boundry---keep yourself very private and only let in positive folks and you won't be bumping into crowds of unwanted surprises. But really, bottom line is that everyone has a hurt history and it pops up---part of life and give yourself a break---it is not a weakness but a strength to have a HEART. This too shall pass---by now probably already has! BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for the kind words. I know that I shouldn’t pay much attention to some random comments and just try to move on. But that’s the thing that I can’t get him out of my mind. In fact the more I try to get someone new in my life and go on dates and parties, the harder the reality hits me that I’m just not interested in anyone else and I even feel like I was cheating or something when I go out with some new guy.

    I guess that as long as I’m here it still seems like an option that we will meet again and maybe have another chance. So I’m a bit torn between staying here and going away. The part of me still hoping something wants to stay here for just a bit longer and the other part that wishes to just go away and close this chapter for good.

    Do you get any feeling about him, like has he made up his mind for good that we should not be together? It’s just that like a month ago when we talked he said that he has been thinking about me and the good times we had etc, but I haven’t heard anything from him since then.

    Another thing that I can’t get out of my mind is that my mother has a good friend, one psychic whom she has known for years and trusts a lot. So when my ex and I broke up in December my mom talked with her friend. She said that my guy just got scared of taking too many responsibilities and that’s why he ended things. And if he sees that I can manage on my own, he will want to get back together. Well anyway, my mom hasn’t talked to her friend after that because she had a surgery and is still recovering from that and her energy is low. I just don’t know if I should believe what she said back in December or not, things might have changed since then.

    Sorry for the long post…

    I wish you a great day and thanks again for answering!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Bump



  • I believe I described your man's predicament already. He reflects your fear. At first he is attracted to your WALL UP--yes people pick up who you are and you have a distant protective energy--so he feels safe and in that safety can persue you within his comfort zone and all is safe for both of you--but then he catches you---you allow him in--you get close--and closer and closer and like two starved animals the hungry place in each of you feeds like a long awaited feast---and you are closer than ever. BECOME ONE. Heaven right? Only, it changes and both of you are not exactly sure why but fear steps in--an underlining uneasiness but it is fought for a bit--he starts the retreat--pulls away--little by little and you reverse play---he puts up the wall and you reach closer--you chase him emotionaly. He runs. So yes the psychic sees it corectly BUT did she say that this intimacy issue would just magically disapear and he would change? If you go back to square one---you in your distant energy and you got back to not needing him or sending your energy towards him--yes most likely he would do it all over again. The question for you to answer yourself is how do you stop the circle as soon as you are captured again and focus on him he will run again.So, we are back to spirit's original message to you---this being a time of awareness and self knowledge-- so that unknown side of you doesn't lead you again in the same circle. You have to outsmart yourself to change. If you stay there it must be for a reason other than him. He will contact you the momet he feels your energy shift away from him. Have a real plan for that or you will find yourself right back in the same spot you are in now. Put your energy into developing your highest potential and purpose---your career needs to come first for the next 8 months. The relationship area will only distract you right now. Where your focus goes--manifests. Fill your head with career and purpose. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you sooo much. I must say I was quite amazed when I read your answer, because my mother managed to talk with her psychic friend yesterday and well you answer and what she said is practically identical....

    She said that he's still just a boy in this stage and is not capable of having serious relationships or committing to anyone at this moment, also that there is some pressure from his mother not to pursue anything with me and he would never go against her will. And she said already in December that I should focus on my career, but obviously at that point that was the very last thing on my mind, so I ignored it. Now she said again that I need to focus on my career for now. LOL:)

    Actually, I made up my mind a few months ago and marked a date in my calendar that if nothing changes with my ex by my birthday (which is in less than 2 weeks) I need to move on, so I plan to keep that promise to myself.

    I have no other reason than him to stay here. I can't say that I feel a true calling to go anywhere but I am starting to like the idea of going to Switzerland more and more (my best friend will move there in the summer). So I think I will start to look apply to some posts there.

    And I have been thinking a lot about my career choices lately as I´m fed up with what I do and even the thought of applying to another finance job somewhere else is enough to give me an allergy.

    I guess what got me thinking about it again was that I was at one party in the weekend and had a really pleasant conversation with someone for hours and then when he finally asked me what I do and I said that I work in financial advisory he seemed really surprised and said that I don’t seem like a “finance person”. So I started thinking why in the world did I choose such a career in the first place. I read a recent study that said that generally women are much less likely to identify with finance and consulting jobs in general, because its associated more with more masculine qualities like competitiveness, dominance, aggressiveness, risk taking, standing up under pressure, courage etc. So why in the world did I choose such a traditionally male-dominated career? I mean, thinking back as far as I remember I have been always told that I’m very very feminine, kind of romantic and there is some softness and calmness about me. So how come I ended up working in something that is so opposite – masculine, aggressive, highly competitive etc. Well and even more so here in Latin-America with all the macho culture. I have never thought that I desperately want to compete with men or prove something. But I’m actually good at what I do, I have had several promotions and transfers to different countries etc., but in the end of the day it doesn’t really resonate with me.

    So where do I go from here? How will I know what job /career would be a better fit for me? Starting from zero in some other field at 30 seems kind of challenging too, but I guess if I knew it was the right thing to do better do it now than later. I already know that everyone would tell me I’m a fool to give up a great career, especially now when the economy has still only barely recovered. But on the other hand will there ever be a perfect moment? Any recommendations?

    Thank you and wish you happy Easter!

    Kind regards,

    K.