Blmoon, can you give me some advice...



  • Hi Blmoon,

    I know you don't do too many readings but I wanted to ask anyway. Hope you can help. I feel I could really use some good guidance at the moment. I feel very confused about what to do.

    I moved to Chile 2,5 years ago, as I went there to work for 2 years. I knew that I didn't want to stay there for more than 2 years but I also didn't really want to go back to my home country either just yet. So I was looking for some other opportunites. I met a guy from Mexico last February and we fell in love, started dating, long distace at first, traveling between Chile and Mexico almost every month. Until in October I finally came to live in Mexico to be with him, I also got a transfer from my job so it all seemed to work out well.

    However, just before Christmas he told me that he doesn't want to continue the relationship although he still loves me and cares about me but we are too different and we want different things etc. We have had very little contact after that. So now I'm here in Mex, alone, no friends here yet, thinking what the hell am I doing here.

    I just don't know where to go from here. I still feel that I'm not ready to go back home but I don't want to be here all alone either. I know this is not the country I want to live in forever, but I don't know any better options either at the moment. I guess part of me is still holding on to the hope that my ex will change his mind and we could be happy here, but other part of me feels that I need to move on, the question is where.

    Hope you can give me some insight.

    Thank you!

    Regards,

    K.



  • My first impression was that I already answered one of your posts in the past---there is something familiar about you. Have you used another screen name? I normaly do not ask questions but that's what I'm getting for you--questions. Was your long distance man content with that arrangement---did he visit you mostly--did he ask you---wish for you to move in? Who did the most compromising or was it 50 50? Did you consider it not working out and you would be alone in a new place? Seems that you are comfortable with change, moving around, traveling. Seems you have a brave adventurouse spirit. OR do you only become brave under the influence of love? I get that this is a time for you to ask yourself a lot of questions. Write them down. More head less emotion and heart. What did you assume about him and why. Have you been through anything similiar before? What kind of man usually gets your interest? Do you listen with your heart and ignore actions. People often are blind to their own patterns---and lie to themselves. Maybe he was lying to himself. Maybe he thinks he wants more closeness when truelly he can't. Some men feel safety in the chase but run scared after the catch. Sometimes it's the nature of a relationship's starting stage that goes faster if you had been together from the start. First the tingly attraction stage--romatic and very generouse but then it moves into reality time of who each really are under that and someone can honestly say, we are too different--despite the magnatism. I just keep hearing more questions--what convinced you he was the one? Were you a little bit glad to get "away". Are you always happy to be close to family and friends? What did your loved ones think of your move? guess what spirit must be saying is you are smart and know how to make sense and order. Ask yourself questions---without blame or regret--as if looking from a distance and solving a problem as if it were part of your job--a job you love. You will know your answers. How do you feel about your job? How important is it? You are un unattached aand so free!. Where is your favourite place on earth? BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you so much for the reply. No I haven't used another screen name and you haven't done a reading for me before.

    Wow, a lot of questions. Some really difficult ones. I did write them down and tried to answer them as honestly as possible. I don't have all the answers yet, but it did make me think about some things I have maybe been ignoring.

    I guess the most important realization was that I was indeed pushing more for this relationship than him and I invested more in all this. But I did really believe that he loved me. And I loved him too, although I wasn't sure he was The One. There very many qualities I really loved about him, he is a really good person, I think, very kind and caring. Also I don't fall in love very easily and when I do, I really want to try to make it work (maybe too much). Might have had an hidden motive also as I felt that I wanted to move to another place already and this was an excellent opportunity. However, I didn't really think that I would end up all alone here.

    Was I a little bit glad to get "away"? LOL, one of the first things my best friend asked when I told her about breaking up with this guy was "are you a bit relieved that it didn't work out?". I was a bit confused/offended that she asked that, but maybe there is some truth in that, although at the moment it doesn't seem like it.

    I do think I'm comfortable moving around, I didn't go to live in Chile for love, I just needed to get away and always felt that I would like to live in other countries, so when I got the opportunity I just went although I didn't even speak a word of Spanish. But I guess the biggest question I have at the moment is that I know I don't want to be here in Mex and I don't want to go back to my country. I don't know where I would feel comfortable or where is my favorite place on earth. I do feel inclined to go back to Europe, but don't know where. I don't need to be close to my family and friends to be happy, but I don't want to be in some place all alone either. I know that I'm just not that sociable that I would make friends very quickly.

    And I don't like my job too much, I have a good career and it has given me many opportunities but I just don't see it as meaningful. But I don't know what else to do either. I really can't think of a good alternative. I have been struggling with this for years. I have changed the areas in my company and worked in different countries, but I'm still not happy with it.

    Anyway, there is one kind of an opportunity at the moment, but I don't know if its the best one. My best friend recently told me that she will probably go to live and work in Geneva in july or august and invited me there, so we can share an apartment etc. But I have been there once and I didn't get any special feeling about the place and I don't know if I could get a good job there.

    A lot of questions, a lot of confusion:)

    Thank you again!

    Wish you all the best!

    K.



  • Now I get it---I had a hunch but when reading it's best to turn off my thinking cap and just give what I hear even when it's unusual--like all the questions. My first impression was you are at a crossroads of enlightenment---about YOU---your shadow side that makes choices your conciese side doesn't understand. People often first go through life feeling a bit out of control with ents and think that things happen too them out of luck or because of others---a bit of victim thinking---some worse than others. Spirit is telling you that it's time to rethink from a new perspective of not why did he do this but how did I get myself here. I don't see you as a victim by nature so don't let that word scare you--it is about taking responsability for how you make small or big desicions that lead you to a situation that allows others to abandon you. YOU ARE A LONER. But not completely because you still fight it. It is your time to dig deep and find out why you want intimacy yet something in you sabotages that. You can't find your happy place until you really know what that is and you are feeling that void. So far you are ready for lack of knowing to wait and see what calls to you--outside yourself. I believe there was a long time that just being busy was enough but that is no longer working. All the questions represents the issue you have with just plain knowing your needs and boundries. It's not serving you to be just a good "adapter". Somewhere in your early life and even a bit by nature you became very very good at adapting--rolling with the flow. Adjusting to outside wills and commands. BUT how much of that is really you?---of course you will always be that person influenced but with "kmowing yourself" you can rise to a place of choices. Sounds like a friend or family member knows you and sees parts of you from a detached distance you can't see. Perhaps others have already predicted you ending up alone because there is a big intention in you TO BE ALONE. That's the mystery for you to dig deeper---to understand where the WOUND started so you can heal it. Everyone tends to have a part of themself that "survives" and it is usually on auto pilot. So if you have a deep wound of abandonment or trust---been hurt or betrayed you survive by avoiding that vulnerable place. Being vulnerable is scary for you---you are still in a child's place of not knowing you can protect yourself and be safe. I have to leave right now but this should get your thoughts moving and opening new doors--pray for guidance as you are surrounded by divine help. If the question list goes blank---start a joy list---what gives you joy----what irritates you. Be honest but leave out all judgement---no thinking about shoud or shouldn'ts. Be unconditional about your loves and hates. BLESSINGS!

    IT IS GOOD TO FEEL SAFE--IT IS SAFE TO FEEL GOOD!

    YOU ARE LOVED!



  • SORRY FOR SO MANY TYPOS! HAD TO RUN!



  • THIS should have been in the post.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    OMG, that is a lot to take it all at once. You can't imagine how much I appreciate it, though.

    Many of the things you said really hit a soft spot. I know something has to change (in me), things just can't go on like this. Seems I will have a lot of alone time while I'm here so might be a good time to try to resolve some things, if possible.

    It almost freaked me out thinking/understanding that I'm a loner and maybe I'm sabotaging myself to always end up alone. I don't know why I would do this??? Recently I have realized that more than anything I would just love to finally settle down with someone special and start a family and just feel good staying put somewhere. I don't want to be alone, I want to have meaningful relationships in my life.

    But knowing that I probably have to work out some issues before that I just want to know where to start. The wound you mention, how to I know where to look for that? Should I go back to really early childhood (I don't have too many clear memories before I want to school), primary school, secondary school, high school or events that happened later on life? The only betrayal moment I can remember was in secondary school, but I have thought about it many times later in my life so its not something I'm not aware of, can it have a huge impact if I have already acknowledged that and understood its juts something that happened and I don't need to blame myself for that. I have thought of some other situations that might have had an impact, but how to I recognize which are the ones that I really need to deal with somehow? I have intended to do that in the past also, but seems that I have focused on the wrong things or haven't managed to get any closure.

    And if its something that I haven't even thought of by now, how can I remember that and understand its effects on me?

    Can I figure all this out on my own or do I need help? You said that someone from my family or my friends can see me from a detached distance, should I ask this person to help me?

    Thank you so much, Blmoon!

    All the best!

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Me again. Sorry, I read in Radiantsun's thread you saying that you are good at dream interpretations and I wanted to ask you about one I had recently. I always feel I have a lot of very vivid dreams but I hardly ever remember them well in the morning so I mostly ignore them. But I had one this week that I somehow haven't forgotten and I keep thinking about it. I was in a cruise ship, next to the captain on the navigation bridge and the ship was about to arrive in one port but then suddenly changed the direction and the captain laughed and said it was the wrong port. Next thing I remember there was a forest/jungle and some guys (one of them was my favorite actor) were making their way through the forest, taking down some trees on their way, and the captain asked if we can go through there with the ship to make a shortcut. I don't remember if we got to the right port after that or not.

    Anyway, if you have any ideas about that, I would be interested. Tonight I had a dream related to the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. I don't remember what it was about, but it reminded me that it is one of these feel-good movies for me, so I'm going to watch it now:)

    Thank you and have a good night!

    K.



  • Dear Blmoon,

    I read that you haven't been feeling well this week, I hope you are getting better already.

    Sorry to come to you with more questions, but I hope you can give me some advice.

    I now have an even longer list with questions, questions about me and why I'm doing some things I do or acting in a way I do. The answers are what give me trouble. I have been going through a lot of memories from way back and although there are some events I can imagine had a bigger impact on me, I don't know how to deal with these. Or how do I know which are the things that need healing or letting go? I don´t know, maybe I´m trying to approach everything too logically and analitically. Do you have some advice for me about that?

    Last weekend was emotionally very intense, some things you asked me to think about made me feel very restless and lost, sad and happy at the same time etc. Now I feel more calm, although still kind of lost. But I have met so many great people this week, was so positively surprised and got back a lot of self-confidence, so now I really feel an urge to socialize much more, just want to go out and have fun.

    Hope you will have a nice weekend!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    You are probably quite busy at the moment but I wanted to ask you something, hope you can answer when you have time.

    I have met some new nice people recently and agreed to go out with a few people just to not dwell on my ex and keep going on with my life and find some new friends. Anyway, point being that I have been making an effort to get over my ex.

    However, in the weekend my ex showed up at my place. And that just brought back all the feelings I still have for him. It felt so good to just see him (I hand't seen him for 1,5 months) and catch up on things. But I just don't get it why he would show up now and if he is having second thoughts about the break-up or was it just one of the impulsive things he does (he is aquarius 02.02.84). Or was it just jealousy because apparently someone had told him that I'm seeing someone else, which is not true.

    It just kind of left me confused, because I did feel he was happy to see me but at the same time we didn't make any plans to see each other again or talk about our relationship. He said he hasn't bee seeing anyone else because thats not his priority at the moment and he enjoys his independence etc. Anyway, I don't know what to think of this. Hope you can give me some insight.

    Thank you in advance!

    Kind regards,

    K.



  • gentle bump:)



  • You just caught me on my way out---first the dream---anytime you are in a vehical it's best to be at the wheel and considering past recent events it makes sense that you traveled far for another. A famouse person in a dream is very good---but also negative in that we devalue ourselves--it means we are equal to being a star in some compacity--we are gifted in some way above the usual. BUT in your dream you have not let that reality lead you yet. You are in transition. AND why does a man suddenily show up when we finelly get him out of our mind? If more women got that simple reality they'd be a lot more powerful. Think ENERGY! In a relationship there is a great attraction--connection? It pulls us together--it is real both ways. A man who is safe on distance BUT needs connection will be fine with distance and disapear often as needs--but feels safe in FEELING connected FEELING you have him still in your head. YES they know the instant your energy goes somewhere else. That famouse person--that's your full power----you are fearfull of that and must dig into that part of you. You are a spiritual person or wouldn't be here so you must believe in the power of energy--it is felt by others. That's why woman who are attracted to distant men can only be free by knowing that reality---that as long as he fells them connected they will stay gone as needed but if you want him to return just cut that chord--they feel it! ALSO, know that a distant man with intimacy issues can not change his basic nature. So, these types are best for a woman with a very full busy life without him. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it a lot! 🙂

    You said that the famous person represents some hidden capacity or power, is it somehow related to the specific famous person in the dream or just in general. You said I need to dig deep to find that what is the power/capacity as I´m afraid of that. But how can I do that? Like parctically. I´ve been doing a lot of reading about the unconciousness, shadow side etc, but maybe I need a different approach?

    As for the ex, he hasn´t really returned, still in the distant mode. I occasionally hear from him, but its difficult to understand where he is at. You said that a distant man with intimacy issues cannot change his basic nature. Is that the case here? That being with him would always come with the yo-yo´ing efect, that whenever he feels I'm commited to him, he will become distant?

    Did a bit of soul searching and relationship inventory. Well, I do see the pattern. The guys I have really loved and been attracted to were always emotionally distant, in fact as far as I know they are still single and living alone. On the other hand, the guys I have just dated for a while, but was not really in love are now in long-term relationships or married and with children. So after acknowledging that pattern and even having indentified some possible reasons for that, my question is where do I go from here. How could I actually change the pattern and genuinly attract and be attracted to more mature guys who are not emotionally distant?

    Wish you a nice day!

    Regards,

    K.



  • bump:)



  • GREAT bravery on your part! You actual said hmmm--maybe it is not all about them but maybe there is something in ME that chooses this situation. That awareness is a very good sign! I feel that you are loving about it and that is good--that it is not about being wrong or defective but JUST IS. I myself am attracted to men who give me room to be "alone". BUT I never saw it as a good thing in me when younger---just felt the opposite--wanting to cling to something--someone as if it was out of MY reach. I had a lot of craving for love. As a psychic though I always intuitively knew that if I did ever leave my man for another the same issues would follow---I saw that in other woman a lot. This does not mean that you can not make it work with a man---just means you must accept that aspect in him and to wait for the ONE who loves you SO much that he will be brave and not leave and you will understand his issue enough to MANAGE it. To know what triggers him to pull away--is to be proactive. Sometimes early on--the more we hold on the worse the effect. Pull leads to retreat and yes a yo yo. Know is about you---how does this extra space work for you? What in your nature could really blossom within that freedom of space once you no longer took it as a bad thing? The famouse person--is YOUR potential and is a gift not everyone is born with so I'm sure you have a great talent that is not being fully tapped into yet but is about to blossom. I do not think any of this has been a mistake and it is perfect timing. It is your time. And no the men in your life can not change their nature of fear any more than you--but they can be aware enough to manage it and make choices. Here's the difference---unaware people find excuses for the split. He can say oh I must leave because I'm confused about this or my job is making me a mess---it will be always something. BUT an aware person will see it for it's truth and fight the urge. Will work at it to work despite their issue.People in relationships weather things together---not go apart so his excuses are not in awareness to his knowing himself. When first together I used to get the crazy feeling that ALWAYS just when I felt the closest to my man---he would do something jerky---I call it the bite that gets you to step back. I told him that and he said you are crazy and frankly it did sound crazy as why would anybody do such a thing? The why is understanding the reality of wounds. You have to do some book learning on that reality as life is not just spiritual but we have earth issues to balance. Our born nature and our childhood circumstance has to be understood without fear of guilt---regret---or judgement. No one wants to look at their faults. But you have to love yourself enough to go there. The truth does set you free. Mostly, we do not get close to awareness till later in age as it is harder to NOT see the patterns! All the men you let go who were committment material--there must have been a common feeling they brought out in you. I've actually heard woman call men TOO NICE---not enough spark etc. Or they fixate on some annoying bad habit . Often---reaching towards rather than having someone as a sure thing puts us in a distraction mode that keeps us out of habit--safe from anxiety and pain. It's an obssessive compulsion survival thing that is often learned in childhood---to escape the pain of awaereness in the moment as we can not just step out of our life circumstance--as a child we are STUCK in it so we often escape mentaly to survive. Thing is it becomes auto pilot and out of our control and by adulthood just part of who you are--all you know. So many dramas in our lives are self created out of that old habit--because even drama as awful as it is--is STILL a great distraction from the "mechanism of feeling emotions" we gave up long ago. That's why eventually there is a great breaking open---a complete exhaustion and one cannot keep up that habit--it just eventually breaks you down to the point of choosing to live or letting it kill you.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you so much. You are such a kind and wise person, I really value your advice.

    You know the funny thing is that when I realized the relationship pattern I have, my first thought was, great, so now I just have to change that. But what you said is that maybe it is actually something one has to learn to accept and live with. So its more about "managing" the relationship and the occasionally distant guy. Interesting. And yes, the TOO NICE guys sometimes feel like a burden, don't know why.

    I don't know what the space can be good for though. In your case I have understood you use it for your creative work. But I'm not a creative type or at least I don't have any creative work in my life at the moment. I know I enjoy my space and my freedom, but just for relaxing and doing some reading and things like that.

    I'm still stuck on figuring out the wounds form the childhood. I had a pretty good childhood, I would think, my parents were happily married back then, I never had any doubt that they loved me, although my father is kind of a quiet and emotionally distant type, we lived comfortably etc. So I don't know what to look for.

    Have a great weekend!!!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Your father did not have to wound you---he just was distant. The wound is not always some horrible abuse--it is sometimes just a silent marking that at times left something missing---It's what you know---maybe you are a lot like him and born into that nature. Maybe you need permission to just be alone and feel ok by yourself and do not need to actually DO anything. The key that you knew you were loved despite the distance and that's what eludes you---as I said there are lots of distant guys out there but the one you want is the BRAVE one who makes it work. Your dad made it work and your mom accepted his nature and allowed him his space. As for the talent---you are entering that discovery stage as you only recently have opened that space. Also, it is very very hard to feel yourself as a child again and it's through others that we expose things we have forgotten. There is a difference between your father the dad and your father the man. The men you love have similiar traits--or it's your mom---you can be attracted to a man that has your mom's traits as well. You cannot change what attracts you--only settle for a higher version. Some distant men---hurt others by abandoning them---other higher evolved men just create a lifestyl that allows them space . Say, men who have jobs that require travel---or workaholics--who give their family a good life with security but are busy busy busy. That may not come out as a wound but the reality is a child may have felt a loss but could not be angry. In this case some children grow up to be pleasers. I think you just are looking for A wound in an abusive sense when maybe that's not exactly the word. Maybe it's easier for you to just grasp your "expierience" as a child and how you think that formed who you are. Instead of good or bad just think non judgemental at how it was. Your true nature and what was expected of you---did you hold back some--know not to ask certein questions? Did you speak up much? Sometimes as a child we only see on the surface but intuitively pick up hidden things between our parents that we don't have a reference for. Intuitive people often pick up on their parents and block it out because it's overwhelming. You are intuitive and very creative. And talented. You will blossom this year and it will be by your own efforts to work at self discovery----info from me and other sources will push you in the right directions and inspire you but really the answers are coming as they should---by your own intention and one light bulb at a time going off. Your dreams will be very helpful. BLESSINGS!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    Thank you, I swear when I read your replys I feel like how in the world can you know all these things...it's a mystery for me.

    I think I am very similar to my dad, as years go by I see more similar behavior patterns. And he was the workaholic type, providing a good life but busy, busy, busy. So yes, hard to blame someone for that. And yes, I guess I might be a pleaser type.

    My father as a man is indeed very different than a him as a dad. He has had several affairs with different women, but I think the first time I suspected anything was when I was already a teenager and I really found out about it when I was already in my twenties. I don't know if I could have picked up intuitively something before, I have no memory of that. But the guys I'm attracted to have not cheated on me, so I hope I'm not looking for someone too similar to my dad.

    The talent thing is still very unclear. For now I only feel that I'm really tired of doing what I have been done so far and for the moment its only for paying bills and giving me an opportunity to take some time to figure out what to do or where to go next. I'm also starting to feel that maybe this mexico things was not all a huge mistake after all, its been anything but easy but I thing the good thing is that being completely anonymos in a huge city gives me a chance to just be and not having to play any specific role as nobody here has any expectations on me, they don't know where I come form and what I'm "supposed" to be like. I guess my reluctance or fear of going back to my own country is also related to that, I feel if I go there I will slip back to the old me.

    And the dreams, I know there is a lot of valuable information there but I have trouble interpreting them. I know that of many the symbols relate to my personal experience and the significance these things have for me, but I still feel that I need more basic knowledge about what some things usually mean (like you say that its important if you are on a drivers seat or passenger seat in a vehicle etc). Do you have any recommendations what to do? I have looked up meanings of some things in internet but different web sites often give different and sometimes contradicting explications.

    I met someone new recently, a really nice guy, and yesterday I found out that he is attracted to me too. And right after that I had a dream that we were happy together and then he said out of the blue that he is not interested any more and it won't work out. The thing is that the dream was so real that I was saying to myself several times why can't this be just a dream and I wish I could just wake up and everything would be okay. So the abandonment issues are still very much on my mind. Frustrating.

    Have a beautiful Sunday!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Hi Blmoon,

    How are you? Hope everything is going well.

    You know, I feel like I'm in ths play "Waiting for Godot". Like trying to divert myself while waiting expectantly, vainly for someting to happen or some clarity to come. Knowing that I need to make some changes and take some decisions but as I have no clear direction, I just wait (which is about as interesting as watching paint dry). Should I be DOING something more to get things moving in the right direction?

    I feel so detached from everything. Like from my job, I feel so unmotivated that I feel I'm doing a bare minimum and do not put much effort in that. I´m not trying to make friends in the office, because I feel like I'm not going to stay around in this place for too long anyway.

    Its kind of the same in my personal life, I do go out when I'm invited and have a good time and all, but don't feel too commited to anyone or anything. Everything seems so temporary. The same cycle over and over again - make new friends - have a great connection with someone - move to another place - loose contact - start over.

    My ex is also getting on my nerves. I don't get what he wants. After I haven't heard from him for a while he sends a sweet text last monday that if I remember that we met on that day a year ago. Then again on sunday he starts talking to me in skype, saying he's on a business trip to Chile (where we first met) and that ever since he got there he has been thinking about me and that he wishes I was there with him. But that´s it, he's not implied that he wants something more. It just makes me frustrated.

    Anyway, thanks.

    Have a great weekend!

    Regards,

    K.



  • Little bump