Cancer Man Taurus Woman Love reading please
CMwTF...WOW!! I had to almost do a double take here. I was married for 20+ years, my bday is 1/15/68...my cancer guys bdate is 7/7/70. Between us, we have 7 children......I, like your TF, doted on my husband and children. Their happiness and providing and taking care of their needs was what gave me happiness. I however, was in an abusive relationship.
I remember the 1st time my cancer guy told me he loved me...WOW!! It upset me terribly!! For one reason, this is going to sound very strange...I was not looking to be in love. I knew he was a great guy.......I did. We instantly clicked. And, their has alway been this odd powerful knowing between us. I am not sure if that makes sense...
Anyway, back to that day. When he told me that, I did not respond, bc I was like...how in he world can he love me?? We have only been dating for like 7 months.??? And, we weren't sharing too much about ourselves, a little here and there, but not the deep stuff. Just enjoying each other, and finally, being free to be our true selves.
So....I confronted him the next day, it took me all day to build up my courage, and I finally did, and as soon as I started to speak, the tears came..I told him....I do not want to hear empty words....you can't love me.....you do not truly know me yet. I want a man who loves me for ME!! every part of who I am..not just some of me, but ALL OF ME!! I want a man whom I can be myself, my crazy, goofy, self who seems to find mishap after mishap! lol And when he gets home from work, or I get home from work, I want him to come to me, rub my A$$ and kiss me like he has been away for a year!!
Well, he told me to take my time. He said he was not going anywhere. Well, the next day he asked me to go out.!! i was like...ummm it hasn't even been 24 hours??? Do you think I have had enough time?? lol
He said Yep!! And well, we just went through a rocky spelll, but guess what......he's still here. I love him more than I have ever loved any man. Honestly, I did not know what love was until I met him. Are we perfect?? No. Not by any means.......but he endures my faults, and I his. Even though it doesn't even seem difficult to do. Our rocky spell was bc I am a bull after all. And well, I never expect to anyone to change...but I was having a difficult time accepting a down fall of his. But I realized my life w/o him, was not one that I wanted to have.
We need each other. Not for anything that one can grasp, just each others presence.
Hope that helps. Just let her be who she needs to be, love and support her through it!! Be her rock!!! And you will never, ever regret it!
But see, 1st of all, I have to be safe.......
Oh..it has been over 2 years now.......:)
Hi Taurus7, funny I read his thread and thought of you too...lol...hope all is well with ya love.
DOE!!!! lol Yes it is!!! I was like.....WOW!! The similarities!! I miss you!! I have looked for you several times and you weren't online!!! Darlin...I hope all is well with you!! BTW my baby girl...tried out for Wicked solos in 7th grade choir.....I was thinking about you the whole time she was practicing!! Me, of all people lol, was giving her singing tips!! HA!!
Hey Doe, not to derail this..but J has apologized all over himself!! YAY!! And, made a cognitive decision to be more of the man I need !!!! Double YAY!!
He actually apologized TWICE for the same thing!! WHOA!!! lol
And, hold onto your hat...told me he respected me and was proud of me!! Ya....that's all I got!!
Thank you Taurus7- I truly feel blessed to have all of the responses and all of you have really confirmed that I making the right decision by staying put and just letting her give her heart when she is ready. I realize that there is no guarantees, especially when it comes to love but I trust her and she has been completely open and honest with what she is feeling. I cannot thank you all enough for your comments.
I have to agree with what's being said here...my ascendant is taurean (and boy am I determined and patient), been seeing a cancerian man as well (for over 9 months now), and my love sign is cancer...
anyway, the same issue happened with me after 3 months! He was raising up the possibility of moving away...me being too afraid of getting so attached to this guy, and this having to lose him (after investing time and effort). I decided to break things off...we went on and off for a while, where he went nuts basically. and then he came back for good. The problem is that we still had our walls built up for a while at least...i still feel they're there however (as with every argument, I get the usual accusation of 'breaking his heart'). When he came back for good, I was very hesitant and afraid, and what bothered me is that he gave up too soon.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes, it's nice to see the other person exhibit a bit of determination and patience...it makes us feel that you're reliable, that you'd be there, and that you love us more than you love your ego, for example...so really, just be there, give your partner some time to think, consider and evaluate. and you cancerian people really need to understand that with love, comes pain and hurt, and that we are usually sensitive people, too, with emotions and feelings and fears also. Yet we're still here...
Cancerman, would appreciate your feedback here!!! hehe http://www.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=16650&replies=13
And also, would appreciate insights on how to approach a cancerian male, with your needs and let's say, grievances, without insulting their sensitive egos? Like how do you do it without 'appearing to being' accusative or pointing the finger? I tried using the technique (based on my partner's recommendation, really) in which i express my emotions and feelings, instead of retelling what really happened...what do you think?
CmwTF - Of course you are making the right decision if you truly love her. I think you do. What I was trying to say in my 1st response to yu was this.....if you know that the person you are with is someone you want to better for....then it is love. And it is an easy love, if you understand what I am saying. Meaning, all of a sudden out of nowhere, this person emerges from inside you that has someone elses needs before your own. And that it is as natural and necessary to be there for that person in a way that you never knew exsisted.
When you sow love, you will rap an abundant harvest of love. Trust me on that one.
J and I, we are a powerful team. So different, yet a lot alike. Nothing in our relationship has weakened, it has only grown stronger.
Well things have been somewhat status quo. What once was I cant wait to see you is now replaced by a smiley face. It feels like she is a little colder. The full moon yesterday messed with me and when I spoke with her I felt like all I wanted to talk about was why she was pulling away...luckily I got off the phone and said I was tired and blamed my mood on work. I guess giving her time and not knowing the what will happen is playing tricks on me. A part of me wants to just get an update or something. When I try to bring it up she does not want to talk about it. We are getting together wed for dinner and this weekend. I was thinking about just asking for a status update on what she feels this weekend? Or should I just let it go and let her come to me when she is ready? I hope this gives you gals some insight into your emotional crabs
I have also decided not to be so giving of my affections. I can tell she is not comfortable with me telling her I love her and whenever I say something nice she seems to pull away. Maybe its time for me to just see if she comes back after I am not so right there.
Well remember at the begining I stated I was married to a CancerMale. (19 yrs.) I think if you keep pushing the issue, you will push her a little. Go with the flow have a nice dinner without mentioning where you stand, if the subject comes up, let it be her to mention it. What is it with Cancer Male needing security.? I mean Im not trying to come off harsh, but with my experience...Considering all the drama Ive gone through, my CancerMale always tells me, You still love me all these yrs I still get asked that "really".....I say give it another week, then mention the status of the relationship, and pull back a little let her do the chasing. I know the wait can be overwhelming. I promise us Taurus Female we are geniune to our Mate, and very much worth all the wait. We are very patient Women. Very Private about our relationship.....The only thing is; its hard to express our feelings when we have been mistaken or advantage of...Our Heart to, go in it's "Shell", and our Horns form....Just be patient.
That sounds perfect. Thank you.
"I have also decided not to be so giving of my affections" Not Cool!
To clarify that comment...I am not being so available...answering a text right away with a greater amount of affection. I am just trying not to think about it and just be myself. Thinking too much always causes trouble.
CMwTF - For me, one thing that gets me is what I would call a whimpy male. I am not saying you are, but, a man with a little edge to him, ( not hatred or anger) but a tad but of arrogance, a man that will say something to me point blank, yet with respect, or say......using "cancer" speak......really makes me stop and pay attention.
I think that is why I am still so drawn to my guy. We get each other. We don't waste time talking looking for reassurances in one another, we know each of one of us is present in the moment. Does that make sense?
Totally makes sense. I am not at all a whimpy guy. Honestly I would like to know where we stand so I can either stay with her or if she has had second thoughts I can move on and start dating again. I have strong feelings for her but am not the type of guy who will just wait in the wings forever. She is a good girl I just need to be sure she is a good girl for me. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt and will wait for her to open up about things. If she is unable to do it in the next few weeks I may just have to make the decision to move on.
CMwTF...........it might take her longer than a set time frame.......I did not think you were a whimpy guy......yet, I know you cancer men well.......and being a Taurean female..I know me and us fellow gals well......moving on is your choice, obviously, but think bout it for awhile...think about what SHE brings to you.......don't look at her words, bc we can be somewhat obtuse, just our nature...but look at her actions...take a deep breath and for the love of all that is good, if she has brought you more happiness than anything, stick by her side.
Find your affirmation in the unspoken things...look to the unseen and for once, take a chance and be vunerable.
A Taurus needs a strong mate. A cancer needs a faithful, loving, giving mate. This is a good match. But, can you see past the present and into the possibilities???? If you care enough about her, then time limits be damned.
Do you know what my J loves about me the most?
My easy going, providing, soothing nature. It comforts him. It has healed him. It strengthens him and gives him courage. The courage that allows him to hope and dream again w/o fear of being let down....dont be an a$$ and for once, take a chance and prove yourself to her.
What do you have to lose?? Nothing really. A little time, a little heart ache...nothing compared to what you could gain.
Very wise words and you really make me think. I agree with you. The upside is potentially amazing and the down side would be a temporary feeling of loss. I really need to just enjoy what I have with her and stop analyzing. Sometimes I can be an ass when it comes to being vulnerable.
Taurus7, can you please elaborate on the easy going, providing soothing nature part? I feel that the more I become myself with my guy, that things get better...myself minus the sarcasm (sometimes it gets to him), insensitivity, and sort of nervous nature (wanting to know what happens next, thinking of the future, etc.)...I'm curious about this dynamic you speak of and would appreciate you elaborating.
CMwTF: Sorry, but I find that Cancerian men are so impatient (surprise) when they give themselves away. It';s like they don't want to waste a single moment on the person (yet they can be so giving), they want things to happen on the spot (when they usually take their sweet time to get things done) and want thing to be smooth and people not to rationalize (when they are always analyzing, picking your words apart, etc.)...
I say stop analyzing, thinking, reviewing, etc. and really, 'man up'...nobody ever died of a heartbreak, yes it hurts (this is assuming worst case scenario - which, btw, seems unlikely). in fact, here's some food for thought: the more you push it, it'll break. the more u insist on it, the person will react negatively. just take it easy, enjoy it, and make ur time together so good, that she wouldn't want to let you go...I read something fascinating once, and felt it so true.
If your lover wants to be with someone else (happened with me a few times - with a cancerian guy actually), let them go. love them so much, that their happiness is more important to you, than them being with u - basically, that you love him/her so much, that you're willing to let them go and be happy with someone else, rather than you - chances are, they WILL come back. after all, you've given them that much unconditional love and that 'gift' of freedom and so forth, that they'd be stupid not to want to be with you!
Once you put that in your head, trust me, the person WILL want to be with you. we're all energies of attraction/repulsion. nagging her, burdening your lady with questions (when she is already burdened with her own newfound sense of freedom, questions, doubts, etc,) will only make her go away.