To move or not to move?

  • Been wondering if I should move back to a previous flatmate or should I stay where I am? Is it normal to have fights over little things with a flatmate. I like him yes but usually when I like a guy its temporary then I like another guy and it goes on like that until I meet a guy who I really like then I know I like him and its hard to think straight around him. I was attracted to him when I first met him liked him straight away but didnt think anything of it coz I was worried about others things and had no interest in him whatsoever but coz he kept talkiing to me and being 'nice' it had brought around to actually noticing him in that really like type way and now it got to the stage where everytime he went out I'd be anxious about him going out and wondering when he was coming back and wondering what the fuck he was up to which is very unlike me. Ended up telling him I knew what he was doing (cheating on me) and being with other ppl, I have no prove of it at all and he said he didnt so i got angry at him lying and jealous because he was with other ppl and left. The funny thing about this is that this guy and I arent even going out or in a relationship at all, never had sex nor kissed we are only flatmates yet i feel very protective of him for some odd reason and was wondering why? I dont want to be in a relationship with him yet I do like his company and find myself attracted to him for some odd reason and this is becoming a rather strange time b/w each other. Does this happen to two ppl who live together for a couple of years or is it coz of some other reason/s? Any one else have this happen to them? We have both managed to keep as flatmates/ friends for this long and will continue to do so til I figure out what to do about someone else and how they feel toward me as I am waiting on them to answer me as to whether or not they like me or want to be with me or not. Am I wasting my time with waiting for this someone? or do start something with this flatmate? or do I stay by myself and sort myself out which really I do want to do but figure I can still sort myself out if I was in a relationship or maybe this is not right. I have so far tried to do the right thing by everyone and now that I do like the flatmate its actually complicated things coz I get cranky whenever he goes out for too long, what does it mean when a person gets cranky to someone for staying out too long coz you know what they been up to? If I was any such friend I wouldnt and also maybe its telling me that I am to be with my flatmate or maybe not? Plz Help.

  • Yes flatmates can argue about things, second he can mean that much to you if you sre waiting first to see if someone else likes you and third if you get cranky cos he has been out and you know what he was doing it means you are jealous.

    Ergo don't do it. Keep your flat and enjoy your freedom.


  • can't mean that much

  • Thanks, Paddifluff. Just one question I am not sure on. Hes a guy and I know guys will be guys and get into mischief etcetc whenever they can but is it true that when a guy does like you they would not go out and be with other ppl and then not lie about it when asked or is it a human thing that ppl just do for some reason or does this mean that coz he does do this that he mustnt like me at all? It like why am I attracted to him in the first place? Its become a rather annoying and I just dont want to be attracted to him yet find I am all the time, there has to be a reason for this. Does attraction grow through the time you spend together with someone you are attracted to or is it coz I am picking up his vibes or is it some other reason? I dont act on my attractions right away usually I think about them until they go away in my head and usually that does the trick and I dont have to stress over it anymore. Ok, somehow the universe has made him in my life and usually so for a reason and I am not sure whether or not it is to go for it or not? I get the feling no but then I wonder if I am right about that. Maybe I am unsure due to the stress I have been thru previous and thats making me confused. Usually I wouldnt bother have other things to think about and when things do cross my mind its to sort them out but this is so dfferent heres a person wanting help and I just find it hard to not do anymore than whats neccessary for him. I think having my own space is really neat something I really like and getting used to again. Its like I want to be with him all the time when with him but I stop myself from doing that and yeh not sure if I am looking at it right so I dont do anything and tell him if I do move back its to help him and really thats all I am doing so why even do i like him? Its silly.

  • I really thank you for your help though its time I started rely on myself more for answers to my many questions. Its time for me to stop wanting to be with other ppl and concentrate on myself and heal myself first. So I am going away and noone will ever reach me so I can be by myself. I never meant harm to anyone and anyone that I have harmed I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I been hurt coz I cant be with myex and hurt by others and also have someone who is making my life hell and thats why I am stressing too also noone will believe me but hey I am used to that and I have made my mind up that noone will get to me anymore and to live as peaceful life as possible and whether or not this person frames or takes me to court or hates me is not important to me anymore. Being by myself is far more important than anything else, and if this person is going to miscontrue me which he always does then I cant do anything about it and really its none of his business what I do and never has been. Ever since the divorce hes been hurting me by involving others and they dont even know what hes doing gets everyone on his side to hurt me. Why when all I want to do is be by myself and sort myself out? He pretended to be a friend and uses the words I say to him to hurt me, humiliate me and you know what he'll either kill me himself or get somone else to do it. He already has ppl spying on me, gets guys to sleep with me so I dont, tells lies about me, hacked into my pc and emails and then puts sex emails in there pretends to be me and sends other emails to ppl and will frame me one day. I would like everything that he does to me to stop and so I can live my life. I have had enough of his BS. So thought he was like me. Its disapointing to realise that the person you love does this to you but then again thats what he is like so I really dont know what to do. I guess make him angry so hes does do it.

  • Yeh so goodbye. You wont here from me again and thanks for your help but now its time to live my own life by myself. I will not live to your expectations so find someone that your are more in tune with, who is more to your tastes, I will not be doing whatever it is you want me to because all my life I must be independant and though it would be nice to depend on someone I wont depend on someone who lies to me or controls me or hurts me or doest trust me there are more but I cant think of them. I will continue to try to understand and do my best to be happy but I have such a long way to go and its not right for me to be with anyone at this moment even if I do want to be with others. We were never ina relationship to begin with though I did like you and was pushing for one, so coz you set up that one night stand I decided to do it coz I dont like you setting me up at all! and I have the right to sex with whom I want to not with who you get to sleep with me. There are many other things but I just am over it you spying on me hacing into my pc and getting emails and killing ppl when I go out to teach me a lesson. Just leave me alone. I never asked for your help anyway but I do thankyou for listening to me and being there for me coz I really needed somone to help me thru the worse time of my life and coz of that I will always be with you and whatever you decide you do. I need time alone by myself. I do hope you find someone who fits your tastes and who makes you happy, it would be nice for you to fall in love and love someone, I reckon it would be awesome to see, you being in love. I think thats what you need is someone to love you. Goodbye.

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