Oh crap... I fell for a Cancer man

  • Yes! I really did and yikes, I feel like an idiot. I am so glad to have found this site to see that I am not alone. I should have known better but it was just so nice!

    I haven't heard from him now for 7 days, which is not totally out of the norm, but I'm getting this gut feeling that something is amiss. I've had this feeling before and I called him on it in no uncertain terms. He calmly said he was sorry for causing me anxiety and that everything was fine. He said he just gets busy and sometimes hates to talk after work, such and such. Yes, I know his career means so much to him. I respect that.

    This is a long distance relationship and has been going on since last March. We've only seen each other once and I really didn't think that it went that well, but he was soooo happy and said it was the best time of his life. I was really reluctant to let this go on, but his messages were so nice and I guess I just liked the attention. I noticed he would say things like, "I haven't had many girlfriends, and I haven't felt like this in a long time", blah, blah, blah. He also said he wasn't a very good kisser. That made me laugh and I thought he was joking. He also considers himself poor, not disciplined enough and a perfectionist. I should also tell you he's never been married and he's mid 40s.

    I'm not going to initiate contact anymore and as for the most part, he was the one to initiate it with me although, if I do contact him he 'always' replies. He did not reply to my last email, 7 days ago, and I'm letting it go. He has done this before and I've always felt like the crazy impatient one and everything was ok. No need to worry. He also says, he says what he really thinks and does what he says, so I never need to worry that he's just telling me fluff. So far, that all checks out somehow but it still doesn't feel right to me.

    Anyways, I just want to say thank you for everything I've read here. I'm not crazy. I'm just me and I'm fed up. And yes, I know I'm Aries and this wasn't supposed to be a great match anyways.

    To all my sisters who have, are, or will go through the same with Cancer men, I send you blessings and a wish for wonderful things.

  • Ok I got intrigued hahahaahahahaahha

    Ok this what i´ll let u in on has NOTHING at ALL to do with the fact he is a cancerian male BUT all to do with him being a NORMAL male.

    I once asked my dad, he is an aries, why men do not prioritize responding to email, letters, phonecalls n such as women do.

    here is what he said : "We do not priotize that as you women do. It´s down the list and eventually we will get to it."

    Another guy, dont know his star signm, i reckon libra said

    "We men do not find it as important as for example perform well on our job, or make sure your car has enoiugh oil onit, that the tires of full of air, or that pile of wood needs to be cut. We do think of it, but to us is ain´t as important. We do try to remember that we need to reply to it, but often it gets down prioritized. Sometimes even forgotten. It´s not as we want to forget you, it´s just things pop up that we think is more important. Also we´re kinda embaressed we forgot you, because suddenly time has lapse some 3 weeks or so. We don´t check our email every day, and letters well ............. "

    A young cancer man told me on a chatroom once that "We men are forgetful, and to get our attention you sometime have to wack us on our head to get our attention."

    So as you see sweetie, this "forgetfulness, prioritizing" is not starsign related but gender related. If in doubt as ur own dad. It´s quite illuminating.

    Hope this helps.

    cwb another long fallen 4 cancer male n has yet not thrown him back in. he is still hoked lined n sunk hahaahahahaahahah

  • Oh i forgot the book men r from mars n women r from venus by john grey is accurate. Men solve all issues up in head whereas woman talk it through until a solution appears.

    so u may wanna benefit from that book, and study up on his starsign, also try reading the stuff u find on men about men on ivillage ............... it helped me a lot in my bewilderment,

  • Thanks so much for your feedback, CharmedWitchBente. I know you could be right and there are times when I have not gotten back to him for awhile as well, he never complains... which makes me feel more like an idiot. My problem, I know. But I still don't want to contact him because I know when he gets busy, he will answer me but it will be short and I feel like I'm bugging him. So I'm going to wait for him so as not to crowd him and also for my own pride's sake. But you know, when he's all lovey dovey, he'll text me from a business trip, email me everyday and I don't get it. When he does respond to bigger emails, they are line for line, which I don't do... I don't get it. I don't want to be had, and I've freaked out on him before and said that to him. Basically his response was more or less, I should remember everything he's written to me.

    Actually, when I've been mad, he doesn't say much at all. The worst he said was is that he didn't like my tone.

    You know, I don't even know his birthdate, except that it's the latter have of June. He won't tell me because he says he doesn't celebrate it. If that isn't weird, I don't know what is.

    Oh, I've read the Men are from Mars book, and get the elastic band thing, I think I elastic band a lot myself... I think this is worse because we are so far apart.

  • Oh, yes and I wanted to say I do feel hooked by the crabby claws. I tried to get out twice so far and have not been successful. (I know he's a cancer because his words were " late in the last half of June" Just thought I'd add that so no one would think I have a Gemini on my hands.)

  • Must b b4 june 22nd, that useal when it slips over to gemini. Men are also when they reply short n to the point unless they remember a point which is long. My libra friend does this on occasion. but they aren´t any where near as long as some of mine.

    Men prefer short to the point replies. same goes for shopping. we browse in n out back n forth around n round, whereas men go in straight line from a to b to c n thats that.

    i again urge u to scope out the site of ivillage. its illuminated much on men behavior to me when i was puzzled. i do believe it will help u a lot. also to understand urself as a woman

  • Hello girls, last night when I got my weekly love horoscope I scrolled down and found this topic. My heart starting beating so fast because I'm going through a similar situation. In April of last year, I met a 22-year-old cancer man, he was born July 18th, and I told him explicitly that I wanted to be friends. HE also told me he just wanted to be friends and that he wanted to get to know me. We started going out, we went to the movies, and mostly talked a lot - until he kissed me. First off, I didn't want to be kissed, I literally covered my face to prevent his lips from reaching my own. We kissed.

    There is a before and after the kiss, we hung out every weekend and mostly made out. He invited me to his house, which I went to and watched a few movies, and made out because I didn't want to have sex. I'm a virgin so I wasn't so sure about having sex with a complete stranger. Also, since I had just turned eighteen (I turned nineteen January 11) I had this phobia of suddenly turning up pregnant so I really didn't want to have sex. We didn't. He said he understood, whatever. After a few weeks of this we're friends, actually after a month and two weeks or so, I told him that I felt like he wasn't taking me seriously. I told him that I wasn't in love with him but I wanted to get to know him, but I didn't want to be in a friends with benefits relationship. Isn't dangerous? I think so.

    Well, he said he agreed with me, etc. We saw each other a few other times and each time he kissed me and we made out. So, every time he left even though I enjoyed spending time with him (who doesn't enjoy making out?) I was furious. I told him I didn't want to talk to him. It's been very hard to get rid of him. At first I was nice, I told him I didn't want anything to do with him because I had a boyfriend (which really wasn't a lie, I thought my ex boyfriend and I were going to get back together), then I told him I didn't have any feelings for him, that we had nothing in common, etc. He still sent messages. Of course not every day but messages that are like... a week or so apart, so I got even MORE pissed off.

    I totally felt like he wasn't taking me seriously. He was sweet and charming with me all the time, but I felt like I wasn't really getting to know him. If I asked a question, he answered but it felt like he hadn't fully answered the question. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? It was like he wanted to make it seem like he was an open book, but in reality, he wasn't!

    Last time I had any contact with him was on my birthday, he sent me a text message and I told him, quite rudely, to leave me the **** alone. Two days later he sent me another message asking how my birthday was and I didn't even bother answering, two days after that I felt lonely and depressed and sent him a message to which he hasn't replied and it's been almost three weeks. So, I'm hoping this weird relationship, if it's even that, it's over. Cancer men are truly despicable beings, Jesus Christ.

  • Also, like Morgana said, it was just so nice. It was simply nice but something was amiss with this man. I felt like he was just "faking love" to make himself feel less lonely, either way I didn't mind faking love but I didn't like the way he just seemed to be lying to me trying to make me fall in love with him when he had no intention or responsibility to correspond.

  • Hey DailyReflection, it's ok that you had a weak moment and sent this guy a message.

    I'm twice your age and held on to my virtue in this

    situation as I only spent a few days with him. The only thing

    I can advise is that if you feel he's hiding something, he probably is.

    It might not be a bad thing, just an insecure thing on his end.

    Mine is not a open book either and he admits it.

    Not sure that bodes well for a secure and lasting relationship.

    You are so young. Give yourself to someone that doesn't make you

    second guess. It's true. This is probably just guy stuff and not sign related.

  • That move AINT typical just a cancer male move, its ALL males moves. Duh! trust me. Ive been out with quite a few male men, and when first gotten to 1st n half to 2nd they did a turn about.

    so please dont SMACK all cancer males into the pit. Its not starsign behavior but male behavior.

    seriously u oughta go to IVillage and read ALL section to do with relationships, dating, men, ask men and what else .................... and ASK YOUR DAD for illuminating mens ways.

    trust me he´ll not lie to you.

    and STOP bashing the cancer male starsign. its one of 12 so give em a break.

  • How would u feel if the men came on here n started rqving bashing smacking slamming ur sunsign into pieces the way you did them? u would stand up n say im more than my sun sign, than my star sign. Now if that is so, why do u NOT extend that wisdom on the guys as well????

    Dont get me wrong i do get ur frustrations but by pinpointing a itzy tiny speck of the whole man u accuse, judge and sentence a man based on sun starsign alone. Now tell me, how is THAT fair?

    are there not more to it? like his upbringing, his background, his work, his area of living, friends? there is more to form a person than his bloddy star sun sign ladies.

  • Yeh hold on to what you want for yourself coz ppl will either know or not know to hurt you. Be strong within yourself and dont let anyone take that away from you. If you dont feel hes being honest then just leave him and have nothing to do with him coz if you do go with him you'll feel worse. Believe me I should have listened to myself before I got with my first bf, I wasnt sure and I talked myself into it and ever since then I havent been the same so plz for your safety dont believe anything but what you know to be right for you and if other ppl dont understand or respect that then tell them how you feel and if they still do the same thing, just leave them. Its a cruel world out there and only up to you to protect yourself and coz you only know what you like then dont settle for someone who doesnt understand you. Theres plenty of ppl out there but just remember you have yourself and thats important and dont let anyone take you from yourself coz it hurts and very hard to go thru.

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