Advice on Gemini males please
Hi all, after 7 long years of being single and serial dating I eventually met someone at the weekend who I feel compatible with and get the impression it's reciprocated. Are Gemini males the type to act as other's would wish to hear/feel etc. or are they pretty honest.
Since we've departed he's text me to inform he'd arrived home safely and to say he had a great time and today there's been some contact via text also. I've left it with him saying if ever he'd like to meet up again to let me know (oh, have also let him know without any doubts that I had great time too). He's replied saying yes ot course, I am very nice to be with. Sounds very bland but he's Dutch so English is not his mother tongue.
I have more dates lined up this week as such a short time spent together with him, no way am I exclusive but if I knew he was genuinely pretty keen then I guess I'd shape up my act pretty sharpish. Am not the type of person to put all her eggs in one basket and make assumptions.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thanks in advance.
His birthday is 14 June 1971 (I think I have the year hopefully correct)
Mine is 24 November 1959
My Gemini is honest to a fault, but they are not big on any grand gestures of love or romance. They are very mental creatures, they need their brains stimulated . Mine loves to be around people and engage in intellectual conversations. They are very charming and outgoing just be your usual free sprited self and you should be fine !
Thanks Earthangel, I so want this to work but am petrified of being hurt again. However, continually maintaining that barrier/safety net it's all a bit tiresome now and I just want to hurl it away
I think we're pretty straight forward and honest, my ex boyfriend of six years shares your birthday in fact...but really, we don't like the mental games (we'd like to understand you and for things to be fun, dynamic and engaging), but we really don't like drama. At least I don't. I say continue saying other people but see this guy and give him a chance, we're really fun to hang out with, but I disagree with earthangel, if there's anything I love, it's nice gestures (grand is too fake sometimes)...I shower my partner with attention, gifts and really give it my all, though it could be the taurus rising and bunch of water signs...
Thanks VOC, I'm starting to feel rather unsettled which is unlike me as I tend to meet a guy and then toss him to one side if I'm not getting what I want back in return.
If I could ask you to consider this please and give me your honest answer........
Since I first posted this thread we had another wonderful weekend together but he had to leave to go to some works do party and although I dearly wished for him to ask me to attend with him I accepted the non invite casually as we hadn't known each other that long so it didn't really bother me. The following day I text him and asked if he'd had a good time and he replied saying he had a headache (no doubt the booze was somewhat flowing). I sent one back just saying best remedy was hair of the dog I heard nothing back from him and in the evening I sent another text just hoping his head was better - that was about 6pm. No text reply until about 1.30 the following afternoon saying his headache had now disappeared. That was Sunday. I didn't respond as I felt no reply was warranted. Two days have passed since and although it's not THAT long, I am becoming increasingly agitated not hearing from him and I'm loathed to text him as I have my pride and I don't wish for him to get the wrong impression that I'm needy or clingy which certainly isn't the case.
Can you please advise the next course of action or has he just become fickle and I'm now just someone in his distant memory. Just for the record he did say he was ready for a relationship and his last relationship over 4 years ago she cheated on him with his best friend.
My God, my heart is beating so rapidly here and I'm feeling physically sick. Walking around like a cat on hot bricks.
Thanks to any Gems who can put me out of my misery
Don't text...seriously. He'll wonder where did you go and will write you back...at first, we do take our time and can be a bit aloof. they say that Gemini people are fickle, but I really don't feel that that's the case...a) it takes a while until we really love someone (we don't fall in love instantly - we might like you a lot, but love comes much later). b) we need a breather from time to time, just to take a break, wander about, see the world, discover, explore...we usually come back.
Hold all communications, I bet (if he does like you) his first text would be..where did you disappear or something?
Also, our attention spans are incredibly short, so I sometimes read a text, say I'll reply later, but forget to do that...totally natural!
Thanks again VOC. You know I was just deliberating over whether to text him as I'm feeling so wrangled, can't concentrate etc. but I shall take your advice and make no contact.
He's meant to be flying home to Holland tomorrow to visit his family as he's just been informed that his father has kidney cancer but he's only supposed to be going for a long weekend. I was unsure whether to text him bascially wishing him a safe flight and that the family will be ok etc. etc.
If a Gem makes you feel they're keen on you, is that genuine?
Again your input is strongly valued.
Have a lovely day
Something else troubles me - I'm led to believe that Gems love to communicate but doesn't appear to be the case in this instance. He also told me he doesn't flirt and can be a jealous person - is this a typical trait?
Also is there anything that would turn a Gem off, other than not feeling mentally and physically stimulated?
Thanks to all for your answers. Am really feeling quite pathetic right now
Sorry for the late responses...I didn't check this post earlier...
Well, that's weird, because we love to flirt (sorry, I know you're seeking comfort, but i'm being honest), and we're not that jealous! So it seems your guy isn't the typical Gemini (neither am I, but have MANY typical traits...although I'm much more emotional, loving of security, more suspicious, etc. because of Taurus rising, Scorpio moon and Cancer venus). So figure out the rest of the charts, it can give hints..
Yes, we love to communicate, but if we talk emotions (at least for myself)...be prepared to roll out the red carpet! It has taken me years to finally speak my emotions (I usually prefer to suffer in silence if I'm hurt - I dont like to burden people with my problems) and if I express my love to someone, it's very important to me that the person at least appreciates that, you dont need to necessarily reciprocate, though that is great, but you MUST appreciate that I opened up to you.
We like mental stimulation, and if you're different than us, then better! because that means that I can learn from you (one thing we love), we feed off your passion and appreciate it. Just be yourself, talk about what you like and love...talk about whatever actually, give us room to respond, and we'll talk. Just don't be too heavy, boring, gloomy and negative. We're light, we like to joke, have fun, fool around, be children really, ask questions, learn about you, about life, different topics...text him to wish him a safe flight and check on his father. just be cool and fun, what star sign are you?
We usually are responsive, we don't shut down, but we have extremely low attention spans, I know this sounds weird, but you need to check often with us! it feels nice!
Nice one VOC. Well, an update..... I did text him last Wednesday evening as he was due to fly out the following day just basically wishing a safe flight, hoping his family were in good spirits and if he fancied catching up when he returned, and this was prompted by my son who said 'mum, what harm can it do and it's hardly smothering him' I had a response almost immediately thanking me and he would contact me when he got back to Dubai AND with kisses. For the record I didn't put any on my text So I thought great. Then last night received a text from him (Valentine's) asking how I was and he wished I would have a lovely evening (but not sure if he was aware of the significant day or not) and said he would be in the air and be back in Dubai tomorrow (today) with emoticon smiles, winks and a kiss. I responded saying it was lovely to hear from him and wished him a happy valentine's day and hoped to see him soon x
Our conversations always seem to be full of interest and hopefully mutually it's mentally stimulating. We're very playful with each other and laugh a lot. I neither enjoy negative conversations, much prefer lighthearted ones.
VOC I am a Sagi so we both share a lot of the same traits and even though I've had a few readings about us with the end results appearing negative, I'm not deterred, and for now am thoroughly enjoying his attention. Praying that we shall be spending this coming weekend together but shall wait for him now to make the next move.
Thanks again VOC for your time and listening to me. Please post back with what's going on in your life and perhaps I may be able to help. Is always good to get other's perspectives.
Have a lovely day
Oh you live in Dubai...I'm not very far and was about to move there (stayed for my cancerian BF who i've actually complained about on these very forums!!!) LOL. well if you want to exchange war stories, check out the thread i started: http://www.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=16650&replies=17
Oh and BTW, my ex (of 6 years - and we are still best of friends actually) is a sagi...great people! one of my best friends is also one...Gemini and Sagis are excellent together...we both love life, travel, laughing, playing around, talking, discussing things...the only qualms/warnings I have for you are:
Later on, one of you might feel stifled by the other - so make sure both have their space sometimes if it gets too intense. From my experience, my ex was the one who felt stifled, sadly.
things might become too casual at one point, we're both not the most romantic of signs, though turns out (I discovered this very recently) that I am much more emotional than I thought...(my other signs are all water and earth). so you need to put in an effort to make it spicy, romantic and not to drift apart (this might happen).
initially, there really werent any problems, we glided through beautifully. it was mid way- towards the end that we drifted apart (it never was bad, frankly, these two signs are so relaxed and cool).
Will go read now VOC and thanks again for your input.
My son once again intervened and coerced me to text him last night with a lighthearted message, wishing he was well and to let me know if he wanted to catch up at the weekend. Again he replied and seemed in an upbeat manner saying something about work being busy and he would let me know. Not sure if I've blown it but just kept thinking about what you said to let the Gemini know that they are wanted which I have done but certainly not in a smothering manner.
So where are you now then VOC as you said you're not far from me?
I shall come back once I've read through your thread and give some feedback.......
Have a great day
OMG VOC, you've been to h e l l and back, no wonder you're feeling broken. Just like another post I read earlier I have tears in my eyes, probably because I'm feeling very vulnerable today but please you shouldn't have to endure any more pain. I would dearly love to give you a huge hug, daresay you need it.
This guy is poison, he's right down there and he's taking you down with him - DON'T ALLOW THIS!!! You are a lovely, sweet sensitive guy who deserves someone who appreciates that and will nurture and protect you. Please try to harden up towards him. As I'm not Cancerian and don't really know of any Cancerians I can't comment with regard to starsign and my gut feeling is his datebirth has nothing to do with his character - he's just evil!!!
Shut him out of your life, cleanse your soul and continue to chat on here giving us all daily updates as to how you're getting along. There's plenty on here to support you and see you through this difficult period - me included.
Message me anytime you want and if you want my email address just let me know.
Big cyber hugs VOC x
Thanks..i really appreciate it It's very sad...sometimes we have really great moments...but eventually they end and we have tension that usually washes over...but a part of me just closed up this time (i always say this, but somehow bounce back! LOL). I want to give him a chance and have given him that. If you read the updates...I've decided not to do any grand gestures lately (though two days ago I placed an order for an expensive swiss watch for our anniversary in May - LOL). and the third part of my Valentine's day gift for him has yet to arrive...i won't travel with him to his bday or anything. I will tell him my decision on the bday today to see his reaction. and I doubt i would move in with him...
anyway, if he breaks up anytime soon...I certainly won't do anything...i have been preparing myself mentally for it. But i dont want to break it off either (as it would hurt me if he gets hurt, so I'd rather he does it himself). and I also dont want him to go on playing the victim (we have a lot of friends in common).
What pissed me off the most is that ALL of our friends say he is the sensitive, fragile one, and that I need to go easy on him as I am the stronger one!! LOL the irony!
I have read VOC and NO you are not greedy or clingy in the slightest. You are a warm hearted, generous human being who just wants to be loved in return. This swine takes you for granted knowing that he doesn't really have to act out his part - it's all vocal. The old adage...... 'actions speak louder than words'. We can all say whatever but the proof is in the eating.
VOC he is draining you but am glad to see that mentally you are preparing yourself for what could be the inevitable, again!!
You need to start loving yourself again. Dismiss the tripe out of the window and begone with it. You are worth far more and you know it. He seems cruel and heartless. Perhaps the fact he's introduced you to his offspring could mean that he's not a complete Cancerian.
Ask yourself this question............. 'What do I actually love about this guy?' Write down everything you do love about him but be truthful to yourself.
Ask your friends WHY they think he is the more sensitive one and get them to explain themselves - are they unaware of the traumas this other guy has put your through?
I so wish my Gemini man was like you. Haven't heard from him yet and it's 3.30 now and our weekend in Dubai starts @ 5 on a Thursday. Guess I'm not worth the hassle eh? Ah well, life sucks
Look forward to our contacts and remember you're a far better man than he is.
Well contact him! hehe. I don't know maybe I'm reckless with my heart and emotions, but I tend to put myself out there. Just text him 'hey, how are you? what are you up to this evening?" worse thing you would hear is a no, and at least you wont have to worry if he wants to hang out with you or not! i wish you the best of luck...
I dont know...it's a bit difficult for me to disconnect...break ups do take a toll on me. I guess he was hurt many times before...and has not recovered fully yet. also he is a late bloomer (he found about his sexuality very late in his life) so that adds a lot of baggage as well...i am giving it a chance, but i wont give it my all until i see something more from his side...and will consider this a trial period (the same he did with me during the continuous on/offs - but i never wanted to put him through that because i know how it feels).
well, i sometimes wish I were straight! hehe although i love men...but women are generally much more sensitive than guys are, and that appeals to me more. they are keepers it seems, very nurturing and loving. those are traits that are difficult to find in the fast-paced g-a-y world. and those are the traits that I saw in him and love...
Thx for your fighting advice VOC but no way am I contacting him now. A girl has to maintain her pride
Why do you keep putting him before yourself? The way he has turned on you is abominable - you are worth far more than that. PLEASE think of yourself now. OK he may have suffered vile past encounters but why should you now take the wrap for them? From what you've posted you've done all you possibly can to show your true affections.
I so wish you were nearby now so I could sit you down and tell you what a wonderful human being you are.
Keep in touch my friend x
yes i know that bit about pride...maybe i need to learn that!!! hahahahaha
thanks YB...that really means a lot to me (even though i dont know you) that is very sweet and thoughtful of you...actually i live in jordan now...grew up in California actually, hehee