WHATS WRONG WITH GEMINI MEN



  • I am hopelessly attracted to a Gemini male ( I am a Cap female) but had to end things before they took off really, I just could not take the mixed signals. I like the dance as much as anyone but it was dizzying. We shared great chemistry, the way he looked at me & locked eyes but...

    I've known him for years and knew he was attracted to me but it was not until one day that we both felt "it". We spent time talking, discussing sports, books and flirting and eye-locking. He invited me over, I could not make it. I called to reschedule and never heard from him again. We have a professional relationship of sorts ( we do not work together) and when I saw him again he was all over me..hugging, staring and embraced me as I left. This was all after telling me he was now seeing someone in between the time he asked me over and the time we saw each other ( it was like 2 mos).

    I called him the next day & said good bye/"friends". Really, I picked a fight to end it because I wanted to make sure I left no opening. My attraction to him was strong but I was not going to get in the middle of anything plus he never explained his behavior for not calling. I just didn't know what he wanted from me. He made it clear he had no serious gf when we spoke but 2 mos later he was involved yet was all over me.

    I decided to not see him again but our paths crossed in the office about 2 mos ago. I heard he just married the woman he was seeing after less than a year of dating and eventho he & I had nothing really, I was shocked and hurt. No clue to this day way he acted as he did, we could not talk about it for some reason but I tried, he shut down & disappeared. He seemed to lack emotion, depth and the ability to communicate despite owning his own biz and being a grown man--he is 37.

    And as a Cap, I have to say this If a Cap tells you that you are cold and lack emotion then that is telling because as Caps that is usually the rap we get.

    This Gem was a piece of work and I am relieved to be off the roller coaster but deep down will always feel for hom & feel that we would have had something great...just a feeling I got but that is that.



  • Hey Worthy,

    Although I said that the gem guy and I were suppose to eventually meet up face to face I decided that I am not going to. I am one of the most patient people and once again I was brushed off but I know it was not personal but I know i need to just let it go. I pretty much told him if he wanted to talk to me he would have, that I had liked him but now I questioned why...maybe I really did see something that he could not see or maybe it was just an illusion...but regardless I had did enough and that was part of the problem so I won't be talking to him. I told him this in a text after I had attempted to call and he brushed me off although he did tell me to call him. I am kind of sad about it and feel like this is such an open ended situation, like we are going to cross paths again. But I will keep my word and keep my distance.



  • I met a gemini guy at work recently... He started two weeks before I left and is 15 years older than me and married with 3 kids..We seemed to develop a quick witted banter.. a verbal joust of sorts that we gregarious sag's are so fond of. One night after my going away party,we ended up in town alone, and had a great, (what I thought) harmless fun night.. No flirting or innuendo at all, just being silly and foolish then later solving the problems of the universe... I thought I'd made a good friend... A week after I left work (and the state) I recieved an email from him asking if Id arrived safely... I responded that I had... He then replied with an email that floored me... A nice long one describing that he is only interested in me as a friend and that he wishes me all the best and that he loves me but its strictly platonic... I mean what the ...??? haha... I only ever thought of him as a friend... I dont know whether hes accusing me of sinister motives.. whether hes telling me hes into me or whether hes just playing games... Totally wierd! and completely innappropriate... I really dont know how to take him.. Im just gonna ignore it... Anyone else had this from a gem?



  • For MissTrial, I can relate completely, as I am also a Cap. female who has been very confused by the behavior of the Gemini male I became involved with. I have know him for almost 19 years and would only see him once a year at a conference we both attend. Never had any idea that I was even on the radar with him until 2 1/2 years ago,when he made it very obvious he was interested. He couldn't stay away from me and was very touchy and all over me, all weekend. A year went by and we had very minimal contact and when we saw each other it got pretty hot and heavy, we spent 4 very passionate days and nights together. After we both return to our respective homes( we live on opposite coast) we continued to communicate and this is were the rollercoaster of emotions on my part started. I felt as if there was really something there, which was validated and reinforced by the things he said to me on the phone and in numerous texts and emails. But as soon as I started to let him know I was becoming attached or interested in exploring the possiblities of a relationship or something more, the hot and cold,disappearing act began. Whenever I seem to get used to him not calling and being able to accept that it really isn't going to workout, he shows up again. I traveled on vacation to where he lives, with the plan of spending time together again, and we had minimal contact while I was there. He told me that a friends father passed away and he became caught up in helping that friend out, but he would have rather been spending time with me. Now I know Cap's can be cold hearted, but I just had this strange feeling that it was all an excuse, due to the fact that he never mentioned the situation until I started to pull away, and realize that he didn't really want to see me. I really think that I am just one of many women he has stationed around the world that fit very conveniently into his travel plans, and that he really has no intentions or desire to be with me, except when we might be in the same place at the same time on the road. I don't think I will ever understand what how I got the signals all wrong, but I can only assume that he beat me to the punch with the "cold heartedness" that Cap's usually get labeled with.



  • @lashes05

    As a Cap, few people really astound me but this Gem guy has stayed with me for over a year now. We were around each other for years and I always felt him checking me out and trying to engage me in conversation but I never gave him much thought until one day it all went BAM, to this day I can not explain why or how.

    There was such intensity between us but he ran away. He said he would have called me to explain about the new gf but he " was never good with things like that". I did not bother to ask him what he meant bc he'd offered that he had no serious gf when he invited me over. I think he was just pissed I didnt come running the night he asked me over and decided to play head game bc he knew I was interested. All we did was talk & embrace & stare ( deep intense eye locks) no sex but it was intimate as heck but then all gone in a flash.

    I had a long term relationship with an Aries and think he is apiece of work with his refusal to explain and lies but man oh man this Gem...I have a feeling we will see each other again and while I wont try to start anything since he is how he is and now married but I will corner him and get an answer. There needs to be a thread on how to make a Gemini tell the truth, I bet it hasn't been done yet, or is as complicated as splitting the atom. They seem to be professional liars.

    About the "cold-hearted "comments: Sad but true and its how Caps get labeled and I know I am often but with this guy I tried to remain open for some reason, wanted to let him in and he blew it...

    A friend once told me she thought Gems were attracted to Caps bc we seem so grounded

    ( earth signs and whatnot); I was like whatever it is, it was slow and then sudden and eventho brief was a force, it hit me hard. For days after seeing him ,I still felt his embrace and his stares as cornball as it sounds.

    Do you plan to see your Gem again anytime soon?



  • Also @lashes05:

    I doubt you got the signals wrong. I swear I thought the exact same thing when I was in the middle of my Gem drama. I ran my story by a friend and asked the same thing/did I misread him, etc.

    This friend is honest and open with me and I relayed it as it happened and she said : NO, you did ot misread him and as much as I WANT to think I did just so I can have an answer to why things went splat, I know that isnt the case. I did not misread him and it does not seem like you misread your Gem either. We just got to see each twin I guess.



  • MissTrial I won't see my Gemini again until late June, and I am not sure if that is a bad or good thing. Intimate, intense and passionate definitely describe our time together, and I am not sure I will ever know what is going on in that head of his. I sometimes have equated it to a game when communicating with him. I have even told him how much he scares me, because I have never reacted to any man like this before, and I just can't get a read on where he is at or what he is thinking. My closest friends think it is all a power game and he really loves that I would pursue him and chase after him,but when I haven't he comes back strong, calling, emailing and texting. I have tried to communicate to him that I have feelings for him with no response one way or the other. In one conversation he asked "if I was having girl feelings?" and told me he couldn't possibly be feeling the same way because he isn't a girl. At that point I was done, but a few weeks later there he was back, calling and writing and wanting to plan for me to stay with him when I visited. I opted on the visit to stay in an hotel after minimal contact during the trip, I let him know that " I got it, I understood"and once again he came back with "I am not sure what it you get, but when I stopped being angry we could talk". It seems a though he wants to have the control and call the shots, but it is only driving me further away. I trusted him for some reason, which has never been easy for me and I sometime think it was a huge mistake.

    As far as seeing him in June my thoughts change from day today. Some days I would love nothing more to see him and walk the other way, and in true Cap style, protect myself. But other days I hold out for hope that we will be together and it will be as wonderful as it has been in the past. I am not sure if I am just fooling myself, and setting me up for a huge disappointment.



  • Lashes:

    This, this, this: "how much he scares me, because I have never reacted to any man like this before, and I just can't get a read on where he is at or what he is thinking."

    Scary it mirrors my situation. I think it is infatuation for me. A puzzle I need to solve or something but I can not get him out of my head & being the Cap that I am, I protected myself. I found a reason to walk away. The last time we saw each other ( before the marriage), he had just started seeing this woman & said it was not serious and he was all over me. I knew how he felt but I told myself, this is how he felt AT THAT MOMENT. Once I walked out the door, it would be back to evasiveness and game playing, the dizzying dance. I almost regret picking the fight with him but now I think he must have been engaged or more serious than he let on to be married less than a year after we had our last encounter.

    Gems are experts it seems at making you feel like the sun, earth & moon at the moment. I maintain that as much as I think we would have been great together, I would have experienced equal amounts of heartache. I am tough on the outside but I wound easily and it takes a long time to get over things. I just walk away. I told him I regret ever confiding in him because I do. It isnt like me to open up that much to someone in such a flash but there was something about him...

    I wish you luck. Just keep your Cap wits and sense of reason about ya. That being said, if he called me today, I would meet him just so I could look into his eyes. Caps sometimes use our heads way too much & not our hearts. The moments with my Gem made me feel so special & warm and it sounds the same for you, just enjoy your time together.



  • Ahh those Gem men...I've written before in this thread about the Gem guy that i am seeing on/off for over 2 years now. We get along great and always have fun together. But for some reason although both of us are Gems we fail to communicate properly, someone gave me a reading here and told me we are very different Gems and i believe that is 100% true and i guess explains things in a way. At the moment we are heading for a brick wall and i as a true gem can't stop thinking back and forward what to do in the situation.

    About a month ago we had conversation that things cannot go the way they are (after sort of seeing each other for 5 months or so). He said to me that what we are having is not a proper relationship and he isn't ready for one at the moment if that's what i wanted. I said to him that i'm fine with the way things are but maybe we should just stay open to other people so we don't feel any obligations to each other if he thinks he isn't ready. He said that he doesn't see other people and doesn't want to cause of his work and besides he wants to commit only when he is 100% sure and that seeing other people isn't working for him because he doesn't want me saying to him one day that i've met someone else....So there we were i was confessing to him how much he meant to me and he was saying to me how much he wants to be friends. I understood him and i want to be friends too so it was all good. I figured he cares about me but he isn't sure about relationship and he wants to protect himself and me so i get it...He was very honest and i always loved that about him...although i think he is honesty comes out of fear not sincerity. Anyway he stayed over then left the next morning and i thought that this it i won't hear from him at least for couple of weeks.

    Next day he called me to ask whether i want to go the movies with him. I did and we had a great time i stayed over his place (as friends) and then spent the next day together too. Then we didn't see each other for a week or so but stayed in touch and arranged to go ice skating together. The night before he called and ask me if i wanted to meet with him later and then go early ice skating together next day i had plans already so i had to decline and told him i'll meet him tomorrow. Later on he send me a really nice text and then the next day we had lots of fun together but when i suggested to meet up later on or the next day he said he can't....I left for the holidays and i've been away for 3 weeks now. We've talked ones since and arranged to go and see a film when i get back.....

    I have no idea what to think of this....i mean he said he doesn't want to be in a relationship,nor wants to continue being intimate in that way...however since we had that conversation we've been more close then before when we were supposedly seeing each other... It's like constant mind games between us and i never know where we are at. Sometimes i think that it is just fun between us that we are in a place where we are convenient for each other. But sometimes i think that may be i should give him a chance and wait for him to see if he will come around and maybe have a proper go at the whole relationship thing but since i was in love with him before(2 years ago when we started seeing each other) and got hurt i sort of feel foolish to sit around waiting for him especially after he says he doesn't want a relationship...Any thoughts?



  • MissTrial,

    I hope you get the answers you are looking for. I completely understand the infatuation thing. And the Cap tendency to want to figure everything out and have answers. I get really close to saying just F**k off, but my heart gets in the way every time. Also fear that I am walking away from something that could be so wonderful. I really believe that fear makes people do strange things. fear of being really close to someone, fear of taking a chance to tell someone how you feel. I can accept whatever the answer is, just be honest. I am not sure that my Gemini is capable of that behavior. He says a lot of things that I just can't believe he means, because his actions say otherwise.



  • redgemini: don't you feel like giving up or walking away? Someone please explain how they stay on the rollercoaster that is Gemini? I gave up after a few months...I maintain it could have been great but didn't think it would ever come to be, like the greatness would be just out of reach, forever.



  • Help! I can relate to most posts here... but I 'm seeing the earlier stage of the hot and cold Gemini traits, and i'm not liking it at all!

    I'm a Scorpio seeing a Gemini guy for about 4 months, 1 1/2 into dating we decided to be in a relationship. It was so intense and felt that we should be together and cant get enough of each other. He put soo much of effort into the courtship phase and still tried to make me happy the 1st month of the relationship.

    Changes i've noticed in 14 days...

    • frequent complains of being tired

    • French kissing from at least a hundred a day down to about 10

    • He stopped taking me to romantic places these past 2 weeks.. We have our regular tues and wed schedule. We used to watch the sunset, walks on beach, zoo, anything romantic...he's done it! Over did it actually..

    • Able to go by 5 days without seeing me and hasn't texted "i miss you" or "cant wait to see you"

    • Last time i spent a day with him was1 whole day of sarcasm, feeling like hanging out with a friend instead of a bf

    • Rough and childish PDAs, not cute! I find myself turned off....

    • He started calling me "Dude" or "buddy" last week when we spent the whole 4 nights and 5 days together.

    • He stopped talking about how he feels for me

    -Not really sure if i'm expecting a lot from him because of how he treated me!

    • Not sure if its just the true Gemini traits that i'm seeing and has nothing to do with me.

    • Not sure if he's losing interest in me and has lost the challenge of chasing me knowing im into him. ( im not clingy nor jealous) at least i try not to show if i am.

    • Not sure if he wanted to downgrade to a casual relationship or even just friendship.

    • Not sure if he's just bothered by other minor issues such as my ex bf still in love with me, trying to call me once in a while. My bf knows I have NO feelings for my ex.

    • Not sure if hes tired of me talking about how I interract with other guys..( i need to get out of that habit totally) he told me it bothers him ...even it has been sooo much less than before.

    • Not sure if he is falling for me and has become more sensitive ... trying to keep the jealousy and insecurities inside.

    -Not sure if he's just too comfortable with me now.

    • Not sure if it was just too intense at first...it was ideal and now we cant keep up with the intensity

    Although he's been this way lately...

    • He still would text me back whenever I text him/ or calls me if I call him (he's never the call type of guy eversince)

    • he would see me if I ask hm to... but sometimes don't sense the eagerness to be with me

    • He would kiss and hug me (even if its rough) when guys are around

    • He would still say I like you in a jokingly way

    • He would still remind me to eat healthy and tells me he's just worried about my health

    • He showed annoyance the last time my ex called while he's with me..he still denied he was upset.

    • He still would talk about things and plans in the future....2 months from now

    • He still said that i'm into him and he's into me that's why we enjoy the intimacy

    • He still would ask me if he's making me happy

    • He would sometimes ask if i like him

    Even with all the changes I see... i try to appear calm... not bothered...not jealous...coz I know they hate that! If there's any changes in me... i'm more vocal about how i cannot believe how much I like him and didn't expect to feel this way... in moderation!

    I just need to be clear about a lot of things. I cant go on with the relationship if he continues to act this way.... which was worst the last time we were together.

    I didn't want to make the wrong decision coz I do feel the urge to break up with him these last 2 weeks.

    I wanna give him credit for all he did for me because I felt the sincerity and I feel we have a strong connection.

    I wouldn't want to break his heart nor my heart if i jump into a conclusion and make the wrong decision.

    I just wish he would tell me if something's bothering him... he has tendency to notice things in me and keeps it in...his thoughts become negative then eventually affect the relationship. We had this misunderstanding once and it was good that i tried to communicate otherwise he would just feel distant he said if i didn't explain my side to him.

    Is this another mind game?! It's definitely tiring!

    I just want to make sure he's still into me... then I would stay and try to understand him.. But IF NOT....i'm GONE! There's no reason to stay...feelings are valid... can't force love to anyone! I know... based on my personal experience.... my ex was in love with me but never matched his feelings for me.

    THANKS!

    I



  • @ Miss Trial-- yes of course i feel like walking away but at the moment we are at the just friends stage and there isn't much to walk away from apart from our friendship which i am not prepared to or want to do as i care about him. I actually haven't seen him for a month coz i was on a holiday and he is super busy with work so it looks like it will be awhile before we meet up again. Anyway I don't see him just as a boyfriend material he is a great guy i'd like to keep in my life. However i totally understand what you mean that it feels like it would be great if you are together but it seems like something out of reach. I've felt like that too. In all honesty i don't know what will happen or what i will do about it...for now i'm taking it slow. But I admire you for your decision to walk away as i said i am sometimes contemplating it too.

    @ Scorpio76 --As far as my experience goes with Gem guys the whole thing with other men and ex boyfriends is off putting for them. I know some men find it motivating but i think Gem guys don't like it a bit. It probably makes him question himself,you and the whole relationship. Which on other hand just makes things complicated in his head (it would for me and i am a gem too). And of course he wouldn't admit that he is upset over it. I think if he was so full on at the beginning it was part of the excitement when starting a new relationship again from experience there are like that (although in your case it was a really full on display...very nice;) But now he's had the time to think things over and may be he is worried that he is too much into you or thinking where is this going or wow i need to slow things down(and probably 10 other things) and wants to take it down a notch. I'd say your guy is still into you after all he still gives you attention, wants to spend time together and he's told you that he is into you.My advice is to try giving him more time. If he keeps behaving cold(er) talk to him but don't push too hard. Hope this helps a bit and good luck.



  • @ Redgemini... THANKS a lot for the reply. It makes me happy to know he's still interested... and you're right about him going all out at the beginning of our relationship...and probably not knowing what to do now.

    I still am a little confused on how to tackle this... I see your point in trying to give him more time but i feel like Im always there for him and he knows that i'm into him now. I don't know if he's being distant because of that and needed some space or maybe he doesn't feel secure in our relationship.

    I would spend more time with him if he needs it to make him feel secure... but what if he needs some space instead? He'll end up becoming more distant because he would think im clingy and needy. At the same time im afraid to give him a lot space because he may feel more insecure...if he is apparently insecure/jealous. But im leaning towards giving him space after finding out how space is important to Geminis. What do u think? Thanks again.



  • Hi I would say to please give them their space (Gemini's) It is so imporatnt for them to have their space to be able to function or to be themselves. I am with A Gemini man and he needs space and we get along so much better. I respect that and trust me they will not fill insecure. If anythinf this is what they want. Just try it and see what happens. He will end up calling you. This is how Gemini's act when they want space. You will be just fine....



  • Scorcpio76, are you in secure? If your Gemini is into you, don't worry about him leaving you. You should be very secure with yourself. Don't waste your time on the small things. To much time will pass. Give him space and let him breath. This is the time when they just think about a lot of things. Maybe about you two together who knows. But if you start to be clingy or start to nag, he will for sure run. That is what makes them afraid and run. A little something for heads up.



  • @worthy1248...thanks for the reply. I understand that he may need some space, but I just have to get used to seeing the other side of him. I'm surprised of how he's been treating me lately and it hurts me because If I knew he can be this way, I wouldn't even be in a relationship with him. I guess i'm more afraid of getting hurt, i try to show him im ok with everything but deep inside im not. He's getting worst and he's hurting me more that I just want to end this. I guess i should try to get used to this if i want it to work... thanks again.



  • Scorpio76 I have been were you are now and it was jusat a matter of me finding out who he was. Don't take it personal, but is just how they are. Sorry, but really this is something you will have to get use too. I found out giving then their space works out so much better. Things that I kow now I did take it personal but you can't. I will drive you crazy. So the only thing I can say to you or u can ask yourself is he worth it? Gemini's are so like the person ur interested in. They can be afraid of relationship so that's why I say just give them their space and it will be ok. There may be times where he does not even fill like being bothered. Just remeber, don't take it personal.



  • @Worthy1248...I will try to understand him. I was starting to fall for him but now I don't think I'll be in love with him. How was your experience with your Gemini guy? Are you still together? Thanks again 😃



  • I am an aquarian and I was married-I thought happily-to a smart, funny, kind and loving Gemini male for about 20 years. Almost a year after we bought our first home, I found out he was having an affair--something he had never done before, as far as I know--and he wanted out of the marriage. He turned colder than ice and hurt me very deeply-he had been my lover, husband and closest friend-and now he just wanted to forget I had ever existed. I am still not over it, ten years later. I thought I knew him and was his closest confidant--well, apparently not! Gemini's can be very Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde personalities.


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