A lingering question...
I have been divorced for 1 year and a half. My husband left me for a girl 24 years younger and it totally broke my heart. I have not been able to move forward completely. I have not been able to have closure. I still love him even after he did all this. My birthday is 11-10-57 and his is 1-28-56. Will there ever be a chance to heal? Do I even want it to heal?
What exactly do you need to find closure? It doesn't sound at all like you want your relationship with your ex to end.
I was devistated by the divorce.. I had hoped we could work through it but he has moved the young girl into my house ... she is taking over what was my life. So I know he has moved on... Im wondering if I will ever get over this. I wished that he would find that she is wrong for him and come back to me but I guess I dont see that happening. I just wondered if there will ever be closure with this relationship. Will I ever get over this? Are good things coming my way?
Does it upset you more that your husband left you at all or that he replaced you with a younger woman?
Both... I was very hurt that he left me... We had a very great love for a long time and when he started pulling away ... I got depressed and felt lost. It was a slap in the face that she was so young. Just a year and a half older than my son. I have been so easily replaced. I miss the man I loved for decades. I just hope I can find a way to get over this and move on.
Perhaps it's not your husband you want back, but your self-esteem?
From one Scorpio to another (my bday is 11-11), I thought maybe I could offer a thought that I have had to come to terms with myself in the past. Sometimes we love the man that we 'thought' he was...the man that we wanted him to be and hoped he would become. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that we didn't really know the man that we have given our heart to. It's especially hard for a Scorpio because we typically are very good at reading people and see through to their true intentions. It hurts extra deep when we realize that someone really pulled the wool over our eyes...that maybe this once we became weak enough to let passion and love hide the true person that he is. Being the one on the outside looking in, I wish I could hunt this guy down and punch him in the face for you! haha (that's the Scorpio in me) I could totally see myself wallowing in depression if I were in your shoes though.
I would say that maybe you need to treat this like a death. Have yourself a little spiritual ceremony where you gather up some things that symbolize this man you thought you were married to and you pour your feelings and sorrow into these items and then you burn them and realize within yourself that the man you felt you had married is now dead. He is gone. The man that remains is different and not the one you married. He is a stranger. Let yourself mourn for a time, just like a death. Pack up everything that reminds you of him and throw it away, put it away, whatever, just to show yourself it's over. Girl, find that scorpion deep inside you and stand up and brush yourself off and say, 'look out world! I am back!" Show your ex-turd that he was just a speed-bump in your life. Get revenge by getting back out there and start seeing people again.
Try to remind yourself that maybe this was supposed to happen so that the right man could come into your life. Get all of these terrible feelings that are dragging you down out now...feel them, cry them out, wallow in them, scream at them..whatever you have to do to...then let them go. You gotta be ready for Mr. Right to come walking into your life and he might turn around and run if you haven't gotten this out of your system.
This isn't 'it'...your new life awaits...
OH and I just noticed he is an Aquarius. That's generally not a good match for us. Many Aquarius partners are not into that really deep and loyal connection that we crave. They make good friends, but not spouses. Generally speaking (not everyone fits in 'the box') we should look for a spouse who is Cancer, Capricorn, or Pisces. Of course, the sun signs only tap the surface but in general terms, that's what works.
Just wanted to add also that I wasn't trying to take TheCaptain's place. I just felt a scorpio-connection with you and totally understood where you are coming from!
Thanks so much for your insight zoinkss77!!
I really like the idea of burning or throwing away all the things I have kept... we were together 20 years and I do need to rid myself of some of the things I keep around the house...reminders of him are everywhere... I need to purge all the pain and anger and sense of loss. I would love to find peace inside myself and move forward!
I have been reading about Aquarius lately... you are right ... we were not compatible in so many ways but it seemed to work for 17 of the 20 years somehow. I have noticed that there have been a couple Pieces men who have asked me out.. But I haven't been able to open my heart enough to let anyone in but it was fun to have a date after all these years!
I am moving out of state soon... so you are right... my new life awaits!! Thanks again for your input!
Yes, Captain... my self-esteem really took a beating with his betrayal. I would love to be able to see the future to see if I will get my mojo back!! LOL
I feel like you are already beginning to get it back just by talking this out with others. You always will feel better letting all the pain out than bearing it inside. Your mojo is definitely coming back! Soon you will be thinking more of yoursefl than your ex.
In chinese astrology you are a rooster. This year is a good year for you. Love will be enriching but be careful and try to learn from your experiences.
I know you can make it! Just think he has already moved on and enjoying himself so you got to do the same thing. LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MOVING ON FROM THE CURRENT TO THE NEXT CHALLENGE AND ITS IMPORTANT NOT TO BE STUCK IN A SITUATION THATS NOT SERVING YOUR PURPOSE ANYMORE.
On your own make sure you dont use the same bed that you shared with your ex. His energy
is still there.
BLESSINGS TO YOUR NEW LIFE
I always believe that in a marriage or relationship if ones destiny is not complete yet (meaning that person is supposed to meet another person) that relationship or marriage is going to end.
I dont care how long you have been with that person it will still end.
THATS WHAT DESTINY IS ALL ABOUT!
A good pyschic friend of mine ( she is really good ) once told me just remember this:
ONCE A SHIP START MOVING AGAIN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
I guess thats the same thing of what I said above.