I need to know if this string of bad luck is going to end? HELP!



  • In less then 6 months I have lost two cars to rear-end crashes. Each time the other drivers have said they didn't see me sitting at a red-light. Is the universe trying to tell me something, that I am missing?

    First a dump-truck hit me and I have injuries from that, two days ago, in my current car, that I replaced with the dump-truck incident, was hit by a pickup truck, needless to say, I am sitting here typing this in pain. Unfortunately this time I was not a lone, I had a passenger and my small dog with me.

    Also, the current car lost its rear right wheel assembly while I was driving it, the day before Thanksgiving....

    My fiance has been laid off twice from two different jobs, in a period of 6 months and we are barely living day to day.

    I am trying to stay positive and mostly I do, but this last incident has really got me thinking, something is just not right here in my world.....

    If anyone has anything to send my way, please....please...please...pass it on to me.....

    My DOB is 03/28/1968

    My Fiance's is 05/24/1970



  • The 'message' here is that the Universe is trying to give you a 'shove' forward in your life. You are literally at a full stop and you need to do something to kick-start your life, rather than waiting around for an opportunity to just happen. You are being asked to have some initiative, to take action - which is really what an Aries person is all about so it's not going against your true nature.

    It's not your job to fix your fiance's troubles. You have to get on with your life and let him deal with his. You let people hold you back in sympathy because you feel responsible for them. You have to develop the strength to go it alone if you have to and not think you are a total loser or wicked if you choose to move forward on your own path to a better life. You being miserable doesn't make your fiance feel any better. You have to be the leader and set a good example for him to follow. The healthy spirit and dynamism that you have been gifted with can help you develop your self-reliance. Don't let your desire to be connected with another person mean that you are also tied to his problems or situation. It's not wrong for you to be successful while your lover is not, so don't let your feelings for him subconsciously stop you making a go of your life. Let your natural sense of adventure and enthusiasm have their way. Be bold and take a risk. Start a new exciting venture. Do something you have always wanted to do and don't let other people, no matter how much you love them, hold you back. The Universe is telling you that it supports you in moving forwards.



  • I don't know how much forward I can move, then I have been doing. Just when things seem to be moving in the right direction, BAM! it's another hit. I am not looking for a pity party, I am just looking for a direction that might work better then what I have been doing. I guess...

    I work, I pay my bills the best I can, but we live together and share a household and my kids are grown, so they are not dependent on me and they live on their own, but his are not.grown and they depend on him and his X to care for them and with us sharing a home, that means I am also included in that support of his children, doesn't it?

    Sorry I am in a lot of pain still from my dual car accidents, so that is draining me, I guess.



  • This is what I mean by your feeling responsible for everyone - no, you should not have to support your fiance's children. That is on him and his ex-wife. Don't you see that you are waiting for everyone else to catch up before you make a move forward? But that won't work. You have to free yourself from all unnecessary duties and responsibilities and then you will be freer to move. You have to allow other people to take care of themselves - neglecting your own life doesn't help you or anyone esle. Ypu may think you are trying to move forward but what you are really doing is trying to move. whilst dragging everyone you love or feel responsible for with you. That is the 'anchor' that is keeping you stuck in one place. I'm not saying you should stop loving and caring for others, just that you have to stop trying to carry them all on your shoulders. That is too terrible a burden for anyone to sustain without breaking down.



  • I did have a little break down last night and let all you said sink in and accept what your message was to me. I was able to sort things in my mind. I think a good cry and acknowledgement of everything in a more organized fashion was a big help to all the stress that I have been under.



  • I had a similar accident few years ago. Hit from behind. It felt to me like the Universe was telling me to pay attention! I was also in the middle of taking care of others and others "stuff" literally, and was so in my head w/ all the things "I needed to do" I was not fully present. I think Cap is talking about the enabling stuff we can get caught up in in relationships. For me I needed to slow down and learn to BE in the moment more vs the stress of doing all the time. It woke me up to being grateful for my health and to be alive to my people, Spirit, my life more in a genuine way.I'm there for my people but not their "fixer". That is what I would encourage you to do dear is look to your life w/ grateful eyes. This is not bad luck just a shift in perspective. If we don't do it ourselves the Universe gives us a little shove. Thank you for sharing dear.

    Pfree



  • Well said, Pfree!



  • Hi Aries68 - Captain is right - you are stuck (unfortunately I recognize being "stuck" all too well). I waited ar too long for others to get "unstuck" and it delayed me being able to "move". In the meantime, I became more burdened.

    A.) you are NOT repsonsible for paying or contributing to the support that your boyfriend must pay for his exwife and kids. You are responsible for your share of rent, food, gas, personal stuff, clothes etc. and after that - whatever you care to contribute to his share of the rent, food,utilities etc. - different couple work this out differently. But his past debts are his debts.

    B,) This may sound silly - but evaluate what sort of car you were driving when you got hit - make, color etc. There are statistics that show that certain makes and colors do tend to get hit more often for some odd reason. If both cars were white - I would get a different color this time.

    C.) Is it possible for you to walk or get public transporatation to work, etc. just for a short period of time? After the first accident, you may have been unconsciously afraid of being hit again and being injured. I have this saying - what you are most afraid of killing you - will.

    I have had a couple of friends who were so afraid of dying from cancer that they were obsessed with excercise, eating healthy, air filters in their homes, - always suspicious of pesticides, etc. and you know - they died of cancer. I knew someone else who would never ever go sailing on the bay because, even though they were a very good swimmer, they were deathly afraid of drowning. They went fishing with a friend on the Delta in a small boat and the boat somehow capsized and they both drowned. So I wonder if you might have "attracted" the second accident. by subconscious fear. Just a weird thought I had.

    D.) As hard as it is for me to say this because I am the "fixer" person a home and at work. I am sick of it. When I need help - I have to pay for it - either emotionally or monetarily,. Other people expect me to "clean up after them" or fix issues at work and I am always trying to take care of things for the kids that my husband never would. I got sick of it. But if I need help - they don't even respond. As bad as it sounds, I have had to decide to only give what I get back from certain people. I am not reponsibe for everyone else and neither are you.

    I hope you feel a little better. Good luck.



  • Yes, when you are always the strong one, taking care of other people's problems, then they never think that you might occasionally need some help, too. Don't get too stuck in your 'caretaker' role or you might not be able to get out of it.



  • I sympathize. The care taker role is appealing a 1st because we are needed. And it is genuinely a good thing to show we care and be kind to our people. Being of Service. For me it's balance. My ego will get caught up in the shoulds of society/family members and it takes work to steer my thoughts motivations to what is really important. To not give too much myself away. You will find what works for you. Listen to your body you will feel the uncomfortable feeling when pushing the river, that's when I know I've crossed my own boundary.

    A lot of woman have trouble existing w/o that role and then you have the more "selfish" ones like myself, who aspire to more freedoms. Ironically after my accident I did not get another car but got an old french 10 sped bike. That's worked well for me most the time. One thing I've noticed in other caretakers experience is they need to speak up when they are feeling resentful of having most the responsibility. When a strong efficient person does something well folks can take for granted their doing it, or simply be clueless. Some people simply need to be taught to contribute.

    Good luck dear

    Pfree



  • Yes you need to be alert for when your role of 'caretaker' has turned into the role of permanent 'crutch'.



  • Thanks for all the advice and input.

    But my first car was a Silver Grand Am, this current car that was hit, was a green Golf Volkswagen. Yeah, I don't think its the cars color. lol.

    I can't do 10 speeds and public transportation for my job, I am a courier for a medical lab.

    I guess I could quit my job, but I don't think I will do that, after all, there are so many out there without a job, I am grateful for having one.

    There are many things I am grateful for and think God every day for.

    Yes, I tend to be the strong one and over the last 4 years, I have learned to say no about things that I just can't add to my plate.

    I do try to help others a lot, but I won't take crap. At least not for long, I can be understanding to a point, but I do have limits.

    I am in a tight spot right now, of which I have grown accustom to, its my life's challenge I think.

    I was born in chaos and raised in it, and I have learned that I don't have to take it, and only I, can change it.

    I was just asking if someone saw anything in my future, at least this year,to if my beast of burden, would give me a little breathing room. So I can recover from my injuries, re-energize my spiritual batteries...etc...



  • What you do to do is recall the dreams you had for yourself and your life before you started taking responsibility for others. What is your passion workwise - what would you love to be doing if you had no ties or money concerns? Would you like to study for something?

    Aries if you don't change yourself, then your life won't change, either. The future is as simple as that. If you go on the same way as you always have, then so will your situation. You have to be the instigator of change in yourself - you have to do something different to the way you have always done it. You have to take a chance if you want your future to be different to your present. Step outside your comfort zone (which I think you will find has shrunk over the years) and your usual routines. Your future is all up to you!



  • That should be - what you need to do...