Cancer woman with a Cancer Man



  • Hi!

    I have been dating a C.M. for 4 months. He had been serious and pursuing me. However, last time we were together we got in fight because he was teasing and testing me re other women. He made some thoughtless comments and I broke up with him. We have since gotten back together and he claims to have totally forgiven me (and I have him) however, he is different now. It feels like he is holding me with one arm and pushing me away with the other. He emails everyday but it is more like I am a friend than gf. I gave him tickets for his b-day (I couldn't go with) so he took - I think another girl but he kept saying "my friend" but no gender as if he is being secretive. He also has a pattern of needing to make me jealous to feel needed or wanted - which I try very hard not to play into. He still says he loves me but I think he is trying to punish me, doesn't forgive me and is testing me - "Will I leave him again?" I have told him a few times he feels unavailable - but he doesn't address it. He has become cool and seemingly indifferent. I in many ways am not a typical cancer female. I can be quite direct but loving. I am not feeling safe with him as I feel he is playing a game. Any adviceon how to deal with him? Thank you



  • Hi Sonjia,

    Well from my experience I can say that this man is just playing games with your heart just to see how far he can push you until you break. I too, am a Cancer. A Cancer male for that matter. I was kind of like that when I was younger. My last relationship was with a Cancer Female and it lasted 6 years.There were lots of good times and lots of bad also. She was definately more closed off, then I am. Sometimes it was like talking to a brick wall. I'm more like you are. Very direct, honest, forthgoing. She was a quiet, laid back, but more serious type of woman , where as I always joked and laughed. Two Cancers together can really be fantastic. I find that the women are way different then us. Well , women are different then men in general. Bottom line? Well, it can go 2 ways. To the moon, or drowning in the ocean. Somehow you have to find a happy, emotional medium. If this doesn't happen, then forget about it. Sometimes 2 Cancers together are just not a good combination.



  • Thank you WaterMan79. So you think he is punishing me? Does he really want me to leave him? I know if he bought me tickets and I took another guy he would be FURIOUS! He wants to break me because? His other gf's were much more dependent than I am, which he has said he likes. But he is choosing to ruin a good thing I guess.



  • Sonjia - drop him like a sack of spuds, it just ain't worth it, sweetheart. I'm a Cancerian male but do not subscribe to his treatment of you. Don't blame Cancer males for his childish behavior, blame him! You can do way better than this. Seems to me he hasn't learned what 'being a man' is really all about. I'm on your side in this matter.



  • Dear GallopingCrustacean

    Thank you for being so supportive! Update: I emailed him: asking who he took. He said a woman, did I have a problem w/that? I emailed: yes, I do have a prob w/that and I think you want me to have a problem with it. I feel like I protect the relationship by not getting to close to other guys. I feel like I don't know the rules of our relationship and they change when it suits you. I also wrote It has seemed like to me he is pushing me away, punishing me, and being passive-aggressive. Then I asked Do you want to see other people?

    So as you can see I am direct. I don't blame Cancer men:) I try not to blame but I am direct and I am NOT interested in games. I am prepared for him to say he wants to see other women or he'll act all, "What are you talking about?" which will open dialogue to the other issues he's been ignoring. I figure no matter how it goes - I win. I will find out if he's playing games and move on. He will want to see others and I will move on. Or both of us will make an effort to rebuild if we can. I will not stay with him if I don't get satisfaction in the discussion.

    Thank you all again!



  • I haven't been on for quite awhile, but I feel a need to vent. Once again I'm with a cancer woman. This has to be poison, concidering I'm a Cancer too. What is wrong with me?? This girl has me so puzzled. I always follow my gut, and I have the third eye, but still I go against it. I just want to see what happens. She loves me but never wants to talk and thats where we butt heads. I'm a communicator and she isn't. It reminds me of my last relationship. Cancer women , I give up on you. I had a few in my past. All the same, they never open up, it's a wonder why most of them are still single. I'm done with Cancer women even as a Cancer man. God give me a Sagittarius or an Aries, some kind of fire. Water and water just drowns each other out.



  • aaww, waterman, your comment had me laughing. I'll throw you a life raft... now get out of the water and save yourself!

    lol

    Sunny



  • I think I need one! A raft lol! I forgot to mention a Leo too! I need the fire. They have Been the best women in my life. As a man it always seems like I go after the wrong girls and they always break my heart. Oh well.