Cancer male trying to win back my Pisces woman



  • Hers a little conversation i had with her this morning.. She doing some design stuff for my business.. After that little conversation i asked her this question.. So... to have a conversation with me what do I need to do...? She said: Nothing. It won't work. I don't wanna talk to you about anything else besides work.... I said ok why ? She said: Cause I know me.... I said:I know ... And i understand how you feel...Do you know why I wanted to get through to you...? Why do you think this happened the way it did..? She said: Tell me your enlightened moment master? I said: That was funny, seriously.... I wanted to speak from a different prospective with you..I realized the way we have been speaking to each other doesn't work..It's not the way I want to talk with you; or ever did.. Nor did I want that from you... I know why we have been this way with each other other, and I understand it.....she said : Not really... I am speaking to you the way I want. Though u feel weird cause you know it's not why u want and u wanna keep trying to find a way To go back to it... So it won't work, whatever u trying to do... This was our las conversation this morning.. I'm not trying to get back to the same conversations from before with her, I don't feel weird about anything I just want to start from a different ground.. Some how I feel I'm screwed anyway I go.. What would be a good way to respond to what she is saying.. That she can understand...?



  • Does this sound like a woman that still loves me.. This is what is confusing for me..



  • No, it sounds like she is done...but then why work with you or do stuff for you? When I want nothing to do with someone, it is a literal nothing... Just use your plane ticket and go see her. Isn't that the only way you were truly know?



  • Yea it is , do you think she will give me another chance after not talking to me for awhile? Would you give your guy a chance if you were done with him for awhile? Why does she only want to see her side of the story...



  • I dont know. My story is different, he has rejected me over and over again. I am too lovely to be treated that way...so my trust is dead, gone. He would have to sweep me off my feet. I do still love him though, but my guard is up completely. Because it has to be. But one of these days, I will confront him in person, just not yet...I am not ready.

    Maybe she can only see her side of the story because she thinks that you will never give her what she needs, so why bother trying.

    Like I said, I don't know if she will give another chance, but I hope she will.



  • Next part of the conversation...

    Me: I really appreciate your insight.. I dont feel weird about anything actually...I don't want to get back to arguing with you.... I don't want to find a way to get back to that..I know you don't prefer to talk like that to anyone, even me.

    Her:I end up talkin like that with you because you keep trying to ask me about my personal life

    Me: Pati when I'm asking about your day etc... It's to make conversation.. I'm not trying to upset you.. This whole thing is a huge misunderstanding.. You really have me all wrong... I know you have to be a certain way with me to keep me at a distance.. I understand that..

    Her: What did I get wrong?

    I havent answered her yet... I'm working..



  • Doeyeyedpisces, even though you situation is different it is very similar... Your in the position of not trusting him your wall is up completely.. You gave me your answer right there.. He would have to swoop you off your feet to change things around...no matter what you still love him and long for him after all this time.. I know this woman feels just like you... I want to swept her off her feet.. Tell me this what would do it for you..? What would change your feelings about him to be good again.. What would wash away the negitive stuff for you.. ?



  • I do love him still and long for him, but I am beginning to just enjoy my life again, and not feel like it is the end of me because of not being with him. I know he missed out just as much as I did and before I felt like only I missed out.

    Well, I guess, if we met in person and talked. Not via chat or video chat because I need to really see if he was being sincere. If when we did meet, he was honest and told me why he treated me the way he did. If he owned up to his part in everything. And if he told me what I truly meant to him. If he then showed me by taking a real chance on me, on us....then maybe my wall would come down. But it would be hard, because unlike your case, I know he purposely hurt me. So, I would always be afraid that he would go down that path again. It would take a lot of reassuring. .



  • Doeyeyedpisces, i feel your pain and I some how feel I maybe can offer some deeper thoughts about cancer if you would like..please let me know... You have been very helpful to me... And I would love to offer that as well...



  • Ok CJ,

    Well, you read our background story, if you want to tell me what you think, I would welcome it...

    I often wonder:

    Why did he bother with me so much if he never had feelings for me?

    Why couldn't he just tell me goodbye or that he didn't want to talk to me instead of being mean and then talking shit about me to his friends.

    And now it has been almost 2 years since the date my husband contacted him, where everything changed and a 1 year and 7 mos since we last spoke, do you think he has completely moved on in his mind?

    Lastly, this has become more cerebral than emotional now.... He could have made this so much easier on me and chose not to...I am now trying to figure out how to handle the thinking about him everyday and praying for the day when his name doesn't cross my mind at all.



  • Do you know for sure he didn't have feelings for you?



  • I will be on later I'm gonna think about it and get back to you later tonight..I'm sure I will have some questions..



  • If your up for it we can talk online and I think it will be better, we can explain stuff more in detail.. Up to you.. Let me know..



  • Are you still going to see her?



  • Hi Crazycap, I am going wed.. However I feel that see will eat me alive for going... she is younger than me and I feel she thinks why am i holding on. i should give up, which she has said before.. I feel she loves me but I don't know what to expect.. she's tried to push away and keep me back.. I know her pain is great, or I could be that annoying to her because i won't let her forget about me.. have you read the last conversations i had with her? what do you think? ah this is not easy.. i need to say stuff that makes sense to her.. That she can see in me..and know what and who i am



  • Yes that is why you are going to see her to talk to her about these things. I think it would be good to go and see her and talk to her about these things. It will help both of you understand each other.



  • Well I am here now...what questions do you have?

    I don't know if he had feelings for me or not. He told my husband that he only ever saw me as a friend. (what was he supposed to say though).

    But one of his friends since grade school teased me online (back when we would play online poker) commenting on one of my fb posts about someone who is secretly in love with you...and he commented that it was mike and the word "awkward" ...and said to me in a chat.." he really likes you". ThAts it though, mike never said anything like that tome, used to talk about how other women were...so, maybe h really did only see me as a friend...idk...it all left confused.



  • Ok CJ,

    Well, you read our background story, if you want to tell me what you think, I would welcome it...

    I often wonder:

    Why did he bother with me so much if he never had feelings for me?

    Why couldn't he just tell me goodbye or that he didn't want to talk to me instead of being mean and then talking **** about me to his friends.

    And now it has been almost 2 years since the date my husband contacted him, where everything changed and a 1 year and 7 mos since we last spoke, do you think he has completely moved on in his mind?

    Lastly, this has become more cerebral than emotional now.... He could have made this so much easier on me and chose not to...I am now trying to figure out how to handle the thinking about him everyday and praying for the day when his name doesn't cross my mind at all.

    If you were married and he was not, for a cancer if you are taken.. we might want you badly but if we can't have you what are we supposed to do? if he was flirting with you he wanted you but he was committed already. and you were married the timing wasn't right.....if he kept talking to you and connecting with you, he liked you for sure.. however if this woman he was with offered security and stability, he was comfortable.. security is important for a cancer, knowing what you want and how you feel for them is important... they won't risk there heart if the other is not with them and moving in the same direction. If the connection is there, it doesn't matter what you do for a job or what you have monetarily or what direction your going, they want to be loved just as you do.. If he loved this one he married and you were there, how was he gonna have you if you were not ready to leave your man, or were you? Maybe I have only a few relationships in the past I will never forget...However if they came into my life again I would receive them openly... I don't forget deep loves with people i care for...

    For some cancers its too risky to chance getting hurt... for me anyway to get to my heart, i need attraction connectivity.. I'm a deeply emotional person but not everyone knows that.. i don't show it much but only to the one i connect with I give her all of it.. if i know you like me and i can open to you that bond is created.. and there it starts.. when i fall for someone i give my heart truly unconditionally .... i don't have many filters of protection except my outer shell.. once your in your in, unless you hurt me.. but that also depends on my deep feelings for you.. i will keep putting myself out there to get hurt if i love you that much, I would give the world to you if i care that deeply for you..it takes a very special person to see that and respect it.. for me the money is not important when marrying someone but loyalty and devotion are highly regarded.. i love someone for the beauty they have inside.. i have the ability to see all that a person is and love them unconditionally.. My pisces girl showed me her side and it made me cry it was so beautiful... however her aloofness and instability through up warning signs for me sense I can detect any changes that happen...she didn't know what was happening for me and i didn't know what was gonna happen with her.. I can communicate my feelings and work through them very well.. but she could not. this caused all kinds of insecurities between us.. because we were not a real couple.. If I was hers and she was mine .. there wouldn't be any problems or insecurities.. which is one of the most important things for a cancer.. sense of security... I know what is around me at all times.. if theres no certainty its hard for some cancers to move forward.. For me I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to leave before I was to change my whole life for her... I wanted to be sure she was right there with me.. she was in the beginning and then I kept messing up( not intentionally ) but I wasn't listening to her.. this made things worst.. Talking was my way of expression and fixing problems and she needed her space to rejuvenate. but that turned out to be a way to distance herself, which made me insecure about her.. which she saw and made her feel I didn't have her back..Also I wanted her to see my position and my feelings..she only saw her side of the story .. which doesn't work in a 2 person relationship..

    If he cared about you, you are somewhere in his mind for sure.. I never forget a person I had a deep experience with..

    if you went to see him that will be a way of connecting with him.. if he sees you he will want to see or talk more.. A cancer can forgive easily if you show your sincerity.. it could all be washed away if he see you and you connect.. all of the good things may come back to the front of his mind and it could start talks again.. I know your trust is gone.. and to forgive is it harder? forgiveness is the key to starting clean.. if we hold on to old wounds it will be all we will have... the mind is a powerful thing release your anger and frustration and it will set you free.. I know i have to release my fears, anger, hurt, and everything else to have some peace.. or I will forget the wonderful connection i love so much about this woman..

    I will write more tomorrow.. Going to bed.. hope this helps some.. to start anyway..sorry if it is confusing.. I just kept writing..



  • I'm really sorry to hear about your story...I have been with a cancerian man for 9 months and we had the ups and the really down downs and I really know where you are coming from...but you guys forget that you're men...sometimes you need to bite the bullet and take a chance...there is no guarantee that your heart wont break, or you wont get hurt in love, but it's so worth it...you need to claim her, break off all ties to that previous liasion and really devote yourself to this woman to show how serious you are. didn't it ever occur to you that she's thinking the same way exactly?

    • why should I go back, if he didn't give me himself? a reason that he is really committed?

    • if he really loved me, then why doesnt he break ties with that person?

    • if he really wants me, then he can come to me...he knows where i am...

    think of that and REALLY put yourself in her shoes. you guys (i'm sorry for this, but you need some tough loving it seems) can be self centered sometimes and highly subjective. try to see it from her perspective as well...best of luck!



  • Thank you, your so right.. We are stubborn.. I never have been with a pisces woman before.. Truthfully that is all I want.. I will go claim her.. This has been a learning we experience for me I do love her with all my heart.. I will put myself out there and claim my woman.. Thanks so much your insight.. You know we are secure men inside we also show a softer side.. I love this woman I will be the man she want and desires.. Because I want that for myself.. This woman brings out the man in me like no other..