My goodness you must think I am such a selfish person! I just noticed your post about your friend...I must have been typing my message when you posted so I did not see it earlier. I am so very sorry!!! I so hope he will be ok and that you find where he is -- and that you will be able to see him. I am always missing signs -- it is much more difficult to see our own sometimes. Sending you love and positive thoughts for your dear friend...
Regarding boundaries, yes unfortunately it's an issue around these parts. Have been for years now. Yet it is good that you know where yours is. For me this is the very reason I stopped guiding and advising a while back. Yet for 3 persons on here I made an exception you included because you asked me to. The others is when needed and accepted. This is what I suppose to be doing around these parts at this time. Outside of tarot I am more swamped yet I needed to draw some kind of a line to attend to myself. And now feeling much more guilty missing out important signs especially his.
Thank you for the positive thought towards my friend all is needed until he gets out of this. He has my heart and I want only good things for him in return.
Relax...everything is temporary and you are the captain of your own ship.
Have you found out where he is yet? Hope so.
I came home early today - sick. I thought over the weekend that my allergies were just getting bad, but I have a full blown upper respiratory infection. Feel awful. So of course I now have too much time to think...and of course those thoughts have been mostly about Elmo. When he and I last spoke he suggested we take a break "to reflect." If this is indeed over (again!), then this time I would like it to be a clean break. I am not comfortable with just "taking a break" and then never speaking again. So on Sunday I sent him a note asking if we were still reflecting. He immediately replied with "Not sure. Call u tomorrow." It's now Thursday and he hasn't called so today I responded with "okay...???" I wish he would have the guts to have an adult conversation to say good-bye. I just don't get it. This is exactly what happened the last time (Oct/Nov 2010). I communicated where I stood and what my feelings were, he dropped off the face of the earth. For some reason I thought that this time around if things did not work out, that I would at least receive the closure I never got before. So now I'm confused about why this all happened because it's the exact same thing that happened in 2010. Why would I/we have to go through this again if the results were going to be the same? It just doesn't add up for me. I guess I need to stop looking for answers or clarity, but that is difficult for me!
Let me know how you're doing. Hoping you found where he is and went to see him?
Oh dear...I hope you are taking good care of that infection. Lots of hot soup and tea to give the body some extra energy.
To answer your first question No, I haven't. No other news came to us either so I am hoping that he is kicking this sickness in it's but t.
WG, It's clear that your need to have verbal clarity from him and we know he is a chicken at this point. So how do you want to go about this? You are not me yet I am very much a confrontation person when needed. I have just popped up in the past and got to grips to whatever I need to sort out at that point. Yet this is me and it fitted with the person I was dealing with.
Main question what is it that you really want and that is feasible right now?
I am not suggesting that I know what is going on with him right now yet he fears expressing himself when it comes to difficult emotional subjects. With that I mean actually naming it.
We people when further evolved in our emotion than the other one hopes that the person opposite of you can actually relate to the level you are feeling at that moment.
I understand clearly and therefore in my own life I have stayed alone for a long period because I didn't ran into a person who could live up to it as I felt.
The problem that Elmo has is something that all male has around the globe and it all starts with upbringing and the maturity of the parents to acknowledge that they are preparing a male to coexist with a female. So every man is somebodies child and therefore a product of the parents efforts. And I always keep this in mind when dealing with the opposite se x.
As I said before you two getting together this time around was to mend what went on last time. Now is different and he is still scared. Scared to actually live fully...so answering you will be a tall order.
Question is does he want to say goodbye? What does he really wants? He isn't stringing you along otherwise he would be behaving totally different...that I can assure you.
The result isn't the same WG. Really it isn't.
Just as I am here for you to get you from point A to B in this matter so it is with people who crosses our path. You for Elmo and Elmo for you.
You know what...often people gets their lives so tangled up that even if you give them a chainsaw still they can't clear up the mess swiftly due to lack of another good tool. And this is in full circle with the upbringing theory I mentioned.
For now get well and then tackle this in whatever fashion you think is best. Always have movement in what you do in life.
I wish I had the answer to the question of what he really wants. He is keeping it a mystery. Intuitively, I can't be trusted at the moment. Logically, I tell myself to forget about clarity or closure and just walk away and close the door behind me.
He did reply on Thursday that he was in Washington DC on a business trip. Nice excuse, but doesn't really explain why he didn't call me on Monday before he left. He did say Sunday night that he would call me "tomorrow" after all. So Friday late afternoon I sent him a note asking him to call me when he got back and also said that if it was just going to be a "good-bye" conversation that I would prefer we did it face-to-face. Not sure why I said that - just felt like I wanted to force him to face it/me. He replied that he was home but had been up since 1:45am our time so was too tired to talk and once again I got the "call u tomorrow" comment. I knew he wouldn't call and he hasn't. One could deduce that he doesn't want to say good-bye since I said I wanted that to be in person and he said he would call, but I think he's just afraid of anything at this point. This is why he never calls when he says he will. He doesn't want to come out and say it's over, but doesn't know how to do anything else either.
At this point I won't be contacting him again. I reached out last Sunday to let him know it was ok to contact me since he may have thought I was angry. I then reached out Thursday and again on Friday. That's really enough. I am just going to have to let go of my need for any final conversation. Closure seems to be an elusive thing for me when it comes to him.
So my logical side is telling me to say a mental "Adieu" and do my best to exorcise him from my energy field. There's still a nagging little voice in the heart chakra that says it's not over. But that would take him having the guts to face his fear and I just don't have any faith in that any longer.
What do I do now - break out the chainsaw? I wish I knew what he was feeling (or not feeling).
Well, in the few hours since my last post I have felt a huge shift in energy. The past few weeks have been extremely emotionally unstable. Getting so physically ill on top of it has not helped. Yet I have also witnessed this going on around me in others so at least part of it has been universal. But I digress...
I am feeling much calmer now. And now understand that a lot of what I have been feeling the past few days has just been my resistance. First of all, I can't stand it when I am not in control and Elmo is the one holding the reigns at the moment. This is an uncomfortable state for me to be in Secondly, I was not happy with the decision he seems to be making and that was the bigger layer of resistance for me. Patience is not a strong point for me in these types of situations and detaching from my own desired outcome is even more difficult. Lastly, and this has been happening for the past 3 weeks, I have been up to my ears in one of my lifelong patterns which I am being pushed very strongly to free myself of this year. The power of my thoughts -- and my attachment to thinking the worst at times like these. I am not saying that the opposite is going to happen, but as much as I should not be attached to my own desired outcome I should also not become attached to the worst possible outcome happening either. Negativity grows like cancer.
Elmo is at a precipice himself that involves a lifelong lesson and I should send more positive thoughts his way. He is struggling just as I have been. No matter what he chooses I need to embrace that we both have done the best we have been able and I need to find a way to remain in a place of acceptance rather than resistance.
I will stop pushing and give him more time as he obviously is not ready to either make a decision or come to terms with it enough to communicate it to me. In the meantime, I must focus on regaining my physical health as well as maintaining emotional balance. Somehow, I lost my center over the past few weeks and have regained at least a piece of it today. Self-care is my priority.
My dear WG,
sighs THANK YOU!!! You know I saw your first post and wanted to answer you suggesting to embrace the positive that I was referring to in my previous post(s) yet I was feeling a bit ill so I went to bed and got back on to share those thoughts with you.
And here you are with pretty much the same I was aiming to verbally let you know. Thank you for receiving the message on another level.
Okay now to answer you here regarding resistance. Yes, I am a control freak too with a great deal in my life so I can relate perfectly.
Firstly, Elmo is not holding any reigns. It’s what going on the Universe is dictating how this is moving on for you both. And therefore for you it’s uncomfortable due to your character and how you stand in your life and for him because he is trapped in old habits that he realizes isn’t working for him on any level. You are his mirror.
The thing is if you both didn’t take this chance with each other you probably would have entered another relationship with a baggage that would have held you (WG) back somehow. So the load has been unloaded and readjusted.
Secondly, yes patience is one of the greatest re-occurring teachers in life. Elmo hasn’t made any decision he is just going through his own motions. Chainsawing, without any ulterior game plan and therefore still lacking a good tool to work with after that.
Lastly, acknowledging what one’s blockages are and really doing something about them is commendable. And I agree totally with you negativity is very dangerous.
~Told you that you are a smart girl. :-)~.
I might have a suggestion to help you with remaining in a place of acceptance when it comes to Elmo. Create for yourself a mental or get yourself a nice pink box. In the box you place all the positives that took place. The conversations, the respect, the honesty, the boundaries, the joy, the reintroduction, the calls, the project opportunity etc. That will be your source of positivity regarding what took place this time around.
And for yourself …I am sure you got a lot to do. Keep doing that and embrace all positive that is coming your way. Biggggggggggggggg hug and get well.
Oh, I'm in and out of all sorts of emotions and just can't seem to get a grip on anything. Will this energy pass soon? The 3rd eclipse is this weekend so I hope it will at least start to get better after that.
Yes 3rd eclipse is on it's way. Astrologically there is a lot going on lately and I think that even though some planetary effects can be felt I believe that their effects aren't confined to a set period. That's what I believe. Just as readings that I have received over the years that some things haven't played out in the exact time-line given.
So will this energy pass....it's a possibility in your case when realizing new aspects of oneself it takes a bit longer.
For you I believe going by your lives flow is the best remedy at the moment. You felt much more at ease when you "surrendered" (and I say this lightly) the last couple of months.
When things get heavy around me (and now is no exception) I always grab on to things that makes me smile and relax. This week I caught an afternoon movie -The grandmaster- a martial arts flick. Last week I made an appointment with a ex-cosinger at her home and to my surprise she is painter and a good one too so with my experience working in a art gallery we had a great deal to talk about and it was good for me. This all distracted me of all the ill people I care for and am taking care off.
If possible don't stay in go out and see what can ease your thoughts.
I am checking out Fast and Furious today (for me drool heaven with The Rock, Vin Diesel and Jason Statham hahahahaha)
Big hug and stop sighing.
Hi. Not sure if this is the place to ask a question. Please direct me if it is not.
But here goes: my question is regarding the best high school for my daughter in the fall.
I am trying to choose between two religiously-based, private schools. One is co-ed and close to home and the second is all girls and requires a bit of travel to get there. (Money is a consideration for both.)
My daughter (E-DOB:9/16/98) is very, very bright, leader and pretty successful all around. Like all 14yrs old, she is exploring new things and doesn't quite know what her path is yet. She is also an only child.
What do see as the best place for her academically, socially and athletically?
I am really having a hard time making a decision.
Thanks so much.
I think your question will be better off in the good hands of Dalliotte. She is channeler and tarot reader and at this moment she has an ongoing thread where you can post your question.
This is the link: http://product.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=20363&replies=185
I wish you and your daughter the best.
Oops miss spelled her name Daliolite
Hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself in spite of all the others you must care for at the moment.
How was Fast and Furious? I love Jason Statham too
When you have a moment, would you please further explain what you meant by the chainsaw? I think some of your intent was missed by me -- went over my head so to speak.
The past few days have been extremely emotional. Letting go of Elmo and then attending my niece's wedding. I thought about some of the speeches given by my niece, her sister (matron of honor) and her father...she was very much the typical 20-something girl. Although she was very vibrant, confident, smart and successful, she was almost needy about finding her "soul mate", getting married, etc. Yet she found her match. It got me to thinking about my own life a bit. I went through my 30's completely focused on work and it wasn't until I hit my mid 40's that I realized my life was passing me by and I was tired of being alone. So I tend to get irritated with people who just tell me to be patient or to love myself first and all those other spiritual platitudes. I just feel that I am not needy in any way about it - am not looking for someone to complete me. Plain and simple, I am just tired of being alone and would like to experience the part of the human experience of not being alone - having companionship. It was nice having Elmo around....I had something to look forward to in a way. Even when just sitting and watching TV, it was such a blessing to be able to laugh at something funny and being able to turn and look at the recognition on someone else's face. Conversations, closeness, sharing of thoughts, etc.
So back to the wedding...I looked around at all the young couples my niece's age. Some newly married with young children, some experiencing their first long-term committed relationship. Then there were all the "older" folk. Most were long-term marriages and some had been divorced and re-married. I was the only person in the room without a "plus one" as they say with the exception of an out of town couple who brought their 18 yr old granddaughter with them. It just makes me wonder why this life of seclusion is being forced on me. What I mean to say is I don't understand what the lesson or life purpose is. If I had that needy 20-something "where is my soul mate?!" vibe or if there was something about me that was internally screaming for someone to take care of me I would understand. But I am neither of those things. I have my own career, have always been successful and taken care of myself, and am not looking for Prince Charming.
Anyway, if you can shed some light or re-explain the chainsaw comment I would really appreciate it!
I will get back to you about the chainsaw comment and a reply to your post yet not at this moment. I am down with a flu.
Dear Flow - focus your energy on your own physical healing and don't worry about me. I hope you are on the road to recovery and feeling stronger by now.
Hope you are feeling better I think I have finally passed through to the other side. Forgiving without allowing myself to get sucked back in was the hurdle. Focusing on manifesting something new and more fulfilling now.
Water Girl, I have a similar story to yours and so I understand. I am so happy to read your last post. Wishing you happiness, companionship and love from now on.
Hugs to you.
Thank you for your understanding. The flu is over yet I am still not a 100%. Next to that some issues regarding my home has me a bit on edge lately. Our government thinks that people has a money tree on their backs that we can stretch and pluck money off. So I am stressed out and that gives me back ache etc.
WG, I want to react on the wedding story you shared. You said the whole experience got you thinking. I never got the impression that you were needy. Only that you experienced let downs in the heart department and since you aren't a serial dater you don’t run into someone that quickly. There isn’t a time limit just your own “steersmanship” In what comes in through the front door straight to your heart. Yet I do have to ask the obvious…who says you are alone? Seclusion is not forced upon you…it never has been. Your priorities were different and things panned out how they did. To me it's all a matter if you were open to be actively dating or for a new guy where ever you might bump into him.
( I struggled getting this sentence right because I am thinking in Dutch and I hope the meaning hasn't got lost in the translation If you don't get it...I will try to rephrase another time.)
My previous partner and love interests...I haven’t met them the conventional way. Weirdly enough it was through mutual acquaintances one way or the other. And no I wasn’t looking. I personally like guys I can have a true intelligent conversation with and if they can catch my attention it can be an animated conversation. Yet to truly get my interest they have to have some qualities of their own that is on my “list”. If they don’t have it...no problem...he is just a acquaintance/friend. I am not easily wooed.
WG you travel for your work I can’t imagine you not running into interesting people. Okay lets us not get too serious about the subject because there are plenty easy ways to tackle/manifest it if that is what you want to put energy into. Just wanted to share what came to mind.
Actually your wedding story reminded me of the two things- a film He's just not that into you (2009) where Jennifer Aniston wasn't satisfied with what she had going for herself at moment. And it also reminded me of a visit I had with a neighbor (female) and her 3 guest (1 female and 2 male). To see the interaction of how all of them aren't honest of what they truly think and feel regarding each other. Okay I am side tracking.
Darling since you have passed through the motions regarding your feelings I am going to let the chainsaw explanation for what it is. Not going to rattle you on with that.
Changing the subject a bit.
I do have some good news I want to share. My son has passed his exams and got his degree. He is now enrolling into a study for Civil Engineering after the summer vacation. I am so proud of him.
WG, I have always have faith in you and you should too in yourself. Everything happens for a reason just as how we started out talking music and ended up talking basically about love and its complexities.
Smile a little bit more and stop comparing yourself…we are all unique and that makes us special.
Znl - thank you. Wishing you the same.
Flow - Sounds like your life is still rather stressful. Wish I had a magic wand to help. Yes, our government operates much the same.
I'm alone in that any remaining friends I have, co-workers, etc. are all either married or much too young for me to be able to enjoy spending my spare time with. Men in my age bracket are either married or, if divorced, going through some sort of mid-life crisis and wanting to date someone young enough to be their daughter! Aside from that, I am not easily wooed either so it is difficult for me to find someone anyway. Yes, I travel, but I don't really meet people that would be dating candidates. Once again, either married or young enough to be my son, and with the added difficulty of them living hundreds to thousands of miles away from where I live. I just think that once you hit a certain age it becomes almost impossible. I would like to think that the Universe would create a "miracle" and just place someone in my path, but it hasn't happened in 18 years so I won't hold my breath!
Congratulations on your son and his achievement in school. And congratulations on your achievement as his mother (big smile).
Take care. Try not to stress too much (I know that is much easier said than done!)
You are right ...stress has an attraction towards me...:-) So a magic wand doesn't sound bad...hahahaha. Thank you for the congrats...I am mega proud.
Replying to what you have written. I don't know if the difference of continent and/or way of life is where I see little "problem" in what you wrote about reasons of being "alone" or the approach to it. I understand you being critical yet taking every possible guy (to your liking) and putting him into the “possible dating chair" is maybe something to let go off permanently. I hope you understand what I mean. Just have male friends if possible. I have male friends that I can sit and have a quality conversation with without it ever crossing my mind to take it further and they have their relationships. I seriously think its all how you yourself stand in life. Enjoy yourself be spontaneous and try not to mind all the obstacles in your way. If it’s possible pick up more outdoor activities or like a neighbour of my mine she organizes dinner party at her home where “unknown” people subscribe to and after paying is served a 3 course dinner and everybody has a great evening. What I am trying to say is stop being “hung up” on finding semi-perfection and just live. What you went through the last couple of months is all in preparation of who you should be in your core in the future. You are a great person; you really are …celebrate that. Not every married person or couples are happy….so the next to each other on the couch doesn’t say much….only that you have a person next to you. When you both get off the couch…what is it really about then?
Something else….you keep mentioning age. Uhmmm darling let that go. I know very young people of age that behaves like they are 80 and I have elders that are very young at heart.
With that said…the guy that captured my heart is way older than I am and yes he has baggage yet what I find more important was that his spirit is young and fun. Unfortunately for him life has thrown him a difficult curve ball to deal with. Live is too short and we can’t always depend on the Universe to place everything on our path. You know to stand still is to regress. Move forward with whatever makes you happy.
Big hug and have a great weekend. I am checking out a jazz concert tonight and a gallery with Japanese art tomorrow.