I forgot to post this. I as I shared in another thread I was in a production last September singing. Here is a compilation of the entire day...just to give you and idea of how it was.
I am not in one of the shots clearly because my group was wayyyy up in the theatre.
I hope you are okay. It has been trying time for all of us on different levels.
I want to wish you a Blessed Christmas. May the Holidays be filled with love for you and your family.
Oh I heard the link has been changed so this is the title of the film ->Duizend Stemmen in Carré - Compilatie and this a flashmob our group did -> Groep Jenny Lane Flashmob
both by TheTheatercarre
Take care, Flow
If you see this I wish a blessed and loving 2013. May paths open and be clear to you in all you undertake.
Flow!!! Hello and a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you. I'm hopping in the shower to get to work so will look at your videos tonight and then post to you. Glad to hear from you
Hello Flow Love the videos! Are you in Denmark or somewhere in Holland?
Hope you had a lovely Christmas and have started out the New Year on a good note. Mine has started out somewhat shaky - hoping it's not a sign of how my entire year will be. Feeling myself turning inward this weekend....think the next week will be one of solitude despite the fact that I will be very busy at work and my work is externally focused.
Let me know how you are doing
I am in Amsterdam (Holland). I am glad you got to see the videos. They were the most "complete" that I could find because many has been shot that day. The Holiday Season was overall good and calm. Flu was trying to get into the mix yet I managed to keep that at bay. Only thing very active with me is my dreams. Having a lot of them and some with messages and some I just can't figure out. Wearing me out. This is the second time in a short period of time it's like this...last time was last year May/June. "Normally" it's spread over two years or so.
So you see I started the year pretty wired one way and this has also made me turn inwards for a period of time ..slowly crawling out of that now only hoping the dreams calm down soon.
I hope you get that balance going (better than me) since your job is as demanding externally. It's tough when it's not a person natural way of being.
Believe it or not I do have that with singing..love to do it yet get seriously nervous when I know trained airs are around ...hate to mess up.
On that note...I found an online studio that I am going to play around with and try to get know my voice better.
Have you gotten the time last year to focus on your love for glass? Just wondering.
No - no glass yet. Still no classes or studios in my area. As much as I felt the pull inward this past weekend, today I felt I needed to lighten up and just laugh. So I did. Unfortunately, it was at myself Made such a horse's you-know-what out of myself and if it wasn't so comical I might even be humiliated!
I haven't been dreaming (or remembering them) in a LONG while. Not sure what the deal is. I do understand how frustrating it can be though when they do not make sense right away.
For now, balance-wise, I am focusing on the mind and physical body. Taming my thoughts as my mind has been in hyper-drive lately, started a body cleanse with herbal supplements last week, and re-starting my pilates routine which suffered over the holidays.
For now at least I am giving the spiritual side a rest. It seems that it only serves to get my mind running these days which is not of any real help.
Let me know how the online studio goes!
How are you lately? I have been all sorts. One day okay then the other not so okay. What happen to you the other day?....I hope it was not that humiliating as you thought. The dreams calmed down thank goodness.
I tried the online studio and its more hard work than I thought. To be honest I did not like the recording I did. Heard all mistakes ugh. And actually
hearingmy own sound was confronting on some level. Don´t get me wrong..the quality is very good...my microphone is from my headset that I put next to the computer and sang out loud.
I hope I get comfortable with it all and do something good soon.
Do take care in the meanwhile and don´t work to hard....
I don't like the sound of my voice at all, but people tell me I have a nice voice. It's weird how our ears distort our own sound.
Oh, the humiliation the other day was just the beginning! I had someone returning from my past – said it was about business – I didn’t believe him and sent a message back about having to set boundaries before we saw each other (if it was indeed about “business”). Then it actually was about business and he of course got to treat me like I was crazy! However, in retrospect, I think although the business situation was real, he did use it as a way to reconnect and get my “temperature” so to speak. He pushed hard for a month to get together and I finally folded for several reasons. (1) he finally acknowledged my boundaries statement and said he would think about the ground rules in advance, (2) he just wouldn’t let up and that was different behavior for him – usually goes to aloof at the first sign of rejection, and (3) it felt like the Universe was pushing me to do it – too many signs and messages to go into! Anyway, the plan was for a business lunch and the Universe got involved and it turned into a Sun. night dinner. I hadn’t seen him for almost 3 years and was so confident ahead of time that I would be able to handle it. WRONG!!! I honestly am at a loss as to what our deal is. The chemistry is so strong and only gets stronger the longer we are apart. I am strong until he brings it up – he seems just as dazed and confused about it as I am. Anyway, during the dinner I asked how he and his girlfriend were doing….she has moved to California (for a “great job opportunity”). This, of course, totally explains why he wanted to reconnect. But they have not broken up – just living in different states! That new Taylor Swift song, “Trouble” has been playing in my head ever since I saw him – it’s been a week now. Part of me thinks he is just a selfish cad who doesn’t care about anyone but himself but another part of me wonders about the connection we have – it is so strong so I have a hard time believing he doesn’t feel anything for me. It’s hard to get closure when there is such conflicting “information” coming at me. Every time I see him I have to go through letting him go all over again. It sucks.
I thought I would check in before Super Bowl begins. I found a broadcaster that is showing it here in Europe so I dearly hope that we get to see the entire thing!!!
I got a trick that you can you take two big envelope A4 sizes or lager and place them right before your ears and then speak or sing. The sound you hear is what others hear and believe me it’s a revelation!! It surely was for me. Let me know what you think or your own voice after this exercise.
I am glad you recognize the path that was unraveling for you to act regarding this person who returned to your life. Unfinished businesses always do return. This was the overall message I got for you this 2013. I couldn’t help chuckling when you referred to the Taylor Swift song and when strength seems to have fun leaving us when we need it the most in situations like this. Believe me. ..I TOTALLY know what you are talking about.
I sit here reading this and I recognize every inch of what you said and I hope you don’t mind me asking yet was he telling you the truth about still being together with the girlfriend? I mean I do understand you feeling rattled by all the underlying tension and history. I mean…chemistry yeah...totally get that…yet would you if it was the Universe plan for you this time around…would you re-ignite that candle and jeopardize the business side of things? I am bringing this up because he does feel something…enough for him to say he will consider and respect your ground rules. Just make him stick to them…until it’s crystal clear what he truly wants…lol
I also hate the conflicting “information” that’s why I when I was in such situation I took the bull at his horn and was as straightforward as I could be and asked what I wanted to know or sit it out and be as cool and collective I can be.
Regarding letting go...they say if you truly love someone set them free...if they are meant to be they will return in due time.
Take your time and stay alert to all signs. You are been watched over.
Take care…(Alicia Keys just sung so I am getting on the couch now.)
Was he telling me the truth about them still being together? It’s funny you should ask because I keep getting messages that all has not been revealed (although I also get messages to walk away and let go). But why would he lie about it? If anything, he would lie about it in the other direction – so as to convince me to start something up with him, no? I have gotten messages of my own that she has been cheating on him and I felt that he had found out about it just before contacting me, but that wasn’t exactly something I could ask about since it was just from a psychic impression of mine. I did feel a distance between them, but thought it was an emotional one only to find out it was an actual physical distance from her moving!
To answer your question, would I re-ignite the candle if it was the Universe’s plan for me? Actually, yes I think I would – knowing that I would not be able to resist the pull toward him. But only IF he was truly single and free to do so and IF he was ready to explore an open-hearted relationship with me. It actually would not jeopardize our business. The business deal we had together is now complete and is not ongoing. Let’s put it this way…pretend he and I both have jobs selling things to the Chefs at restaurants. Let’s say I sell vegetables and he sells cutlery. Our jobs keep us running in the same circle, but not actually having to do business together. The thing that came up recently was as if he had a big presentation to do in selling his cutlery and needed a large order of tomatoes for the presentation – so he called me to buy the tomatoes.
Out of all the ground rules I could have had, at dinner last week I just boiled it down to this…don’t flirt with me if you don’t mean it….don’t start something you can’t finish. This is always what has happened in the past and I am always left broken-hearted. I told him this AFTER he told me about the girlfriend moving away, which means that I was allowing for the possibility of “maybe they are or will be breaking up”. His response? Walked over and planted a kiss on me. We were having a hard time keeping our hands off each other all night. And I will shamefully admit that there was some intense “necking” at the car when we left. He wanted to see me again the next night (Monday), but I couldn’t. He was busy Tuesday night, I was busy again Wednesday night, so we made plans to see each other Thursday. He backed out before Thursday came along, so I guess he broke my one and only ground rule. In his defense, I am sure his conscience got the better of him – I think we both knew what would happen if we saw each other again last week. So that leaves me with the same question. Why did he want to see me? What, if anything, does he really feel for me? Why is this happening all over again?
Grabbing the bull by the horns has never worked with him in the past as it sends him running. So I have no choice but the cool and collective route – if only for my own dignity! But I don’t expect to hear from him. Wish I really knew what was going on…
Hope you are enjoying the Super Bowl! The commercials are the best part
Oh, lord! Just noticed I had a text message from him today.....AT 4:44 PM!!!!! Just can't remember if that was BEFORE or AFTER I asked my guides for a sign on whether or not I should let this go. Nothing major in his message, just letting me know I would be getting the signed contract tomorrow for the business thing. Ended with "Talk with you soon." Innocent enough, but once the contract is signed, there is really no reason to talk anymore unless it's personal. Doing my best to just go with the flow, Flow!
Sorry that I couldn’t get back yesterday. Super Bowl started exactly at midnight here so it was a long sit especially with the power outage they had. I am beat…awaiting for some tradesmen to come and do some work in my house.
Anyways…nothing funny about me asking…that’s the first thing I picked up regarding this situation. And I hoped you didn’t mind me sticking my nose there. Yet you are right about it all not has been revealed. He reminds me of someone I ran into years ago and for the fear of rejection they put up their own “boundaries”. In this case I think the girlfriend towards you is his.
I agree that he isn’t totally oblivious regarding what is unfolding with her only he hasn’t settled with/ accepted what is going on between them. Do I make sense? Yet it isn’t your problem. So the meeting was in the works (Universe) and he needed to see what reaction you were going to have.
I had a good sense that you would say yes and I am glad that the personal interaction wouldn’t spoil any possible future business ventures. And I hear you loud and clear regarding under what conditions you would give it a try. Seems that he knows you reasonably well and was happy that you made his ears and his heart happy at that table. Yet I had to laugh when I read: “Don’t start something you can’t finish!!!!” Ohh a motto I live by and have used. I stand behind you 1000% in that. The Universe is also telling you to TAKE IT EASY.
You asked why it is all happening now…because it’s time. For you both to find out what you truly want and if it will be together or not. What he really feels….he is genuinely confused and I would leave the ball in his corner for as long it takes. Yet I can say he does care. Basically this will not remain unresolved.
Ha!! 4.44 PM!!! Interesting!! I don’t do numerology yet I am sure there is some message there for you. If you can try to remember when you consulted your guides…that would be great because then you know how much they are working with you on this. And yes it’s going to be personal the contact whenever it takes place just stay firm in your guidelines for him. You have been there and you “know” him so that should give some shelter. Fear is good because it keeps you sharp just don’t let it get the better of you and block everything that is flowing right now.
Talk soon, Flow.
Thank you so much. You are so very soothing to me - always have been. Wish we could meet in person!
Another message from him today - at 2:22 pm - Ha! And I did receive the signed contract today so now if he does contact me it will not be under the guise of a business deal. I was very calm today and did indeed decide to not only leave the ball in his court, but more importantly to continue moving on with my life regardless of what he does or does not do. That has always been the hard part for me, but I think I have turned that corner. Actually, I didn't even respond to his 4:44pm message yesterday, which I believe is why he sent the another message today at 2:22!
AND thank you for confirming the impressions I had gotten with regard to him and her. It's nice to know I'm not going crazy
TAKE IT EASY....very funny! I was so worked up last week - knew I was - and yet could not calm myself down. He has that affect on me (sheepish grin).
I do know that this is about closure - yet not sure it's the ending I would want. That's where the fear comes in. I am doing my best to go with the Flow, Flow! Just following where the Universe takes this and remain as detached as possible to the final outcome.
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how much you have helped me.
You are very welcome. Time to time I do get "pushed" to open up and share when it's my task to do so.
I hope you did say THANK YOU for the signed papers?!?! In business I try to do that just to keep myself in the running as a possible partner for future ventures. Even our Queen does it so it must be a good thing...right? hahahahaha. But seriously those numbers....you got to take a look and see if there is anything there for you.
Isn't that breeze around that corner nice? I am super happy about your decision regarding getting on with your life because it's all growth. You know whatever the outcome it will always be good for you as an individual. Lot of people forget that. I always (sarcastically) say you came out by yourself from your mother's womb without some help...yet by yourself.
He has that affect on you...you said with a sheepish grin... (smiling)... this brings back memories. If it is any consolation to you...he had/s issues too.
I had a question for you and then I decided (and deleted it) perhaps now isn’t the time to ask. Yet I stand my ground by saying this isn’t going to remain unresolved. Look at how you are coping this time around comparing to the previous time which is 3 years ago. Believe in yourself that you will be okay. Your sense of humour is doing wonders too…lol.
Flowing with the Universe is a good thing right now especially since the Energy is moving swiftly. You got your tools…use them wisely.
There is a thread on the forum called I pass on…and I pass on to you Joy!
And yes it would be great to grab a cupper somewhere and talk. Who knows..it might happen someday.
- ugh I meant.... with some help..yet by yourself.
I wanted to try your trick with the envelopes in front of my ears, but the only time I am able to sing these days is in the shower or while driving to/from work. The shower would be, well, soggy. And trying to drive while holding two envelopes in front of my ears sounds a bit dangerous. Hahahaha!
The message Sunday was to let me know I would be getting the papers on Monday so there was really no need to reply and I took advantage of that. On Monday, he sent a message to let me know I would be getting the signed paperwork from someone else in his office and to let him know when they arrived. When they did arrive, the other person had copied him on the email so I replied with a thank you to both of them. However, reading your message made me realize that I should personally thank him. He is in school tonight (getting his Master's degree) so I sent him an email which he will receive on his phone.
The numbers...I take the 444 or 44 as a sign from my personal guides and angels. That's why the timing of before or after I asked them the questions would have been important! The 2's for me are about partnership - all kinds of partnership including business - as well as duality.
Oh, curiosity is killing me with what your question may have been! I trust you will ask when you feel it is time? I agree with you about resolution. I do think this is all happening for closure purposes. A happy ending would be nice, but I am doubtful. Then again, I must heed the messages I have been receiving about not allowing the past to taint the present. I have grown VERY MUCH and am handling this situation so much differently than I ever have in the past. So in that respect, this has been a blessing. In the past, his confusion and pulling away would send me into a "need" for him which was so unhealthy! I am now in a place of knowing that I "want" him, but do not "need" him and also know that in the end, no matter what happens, I will be okay.
He leaves for a business trip Thursday and I do not expect to hear from him beforehand - and honestly am not sure I will hear from him afterward either. Fortunately, I am just as busy at work and do have much to focus on. Which reminds me, thank you for noticing my sense of humor....I had a meeting with my VP today and she gave me many compliments yet some of them were backhanded. One of them was to tell me that my sense of humor takes some getting used to!
Thank you for the Joy I pass on to you.....GRATITUDE.
I was on my way out and saw your reply.
Thank you for the gratitude yet really it isn’t necessary.
The envelope trick you can also do in the toilet!!! Lol …no really anywhere is just fine just start with your speech voice and hear what it sounds like. I sound totally different than how thought I did with “full” sound. Let alone when you record...then it sounds a bit different again…well that’s how I feel about it.
You’re a smart and funny person. I have to smile often reading your posts. Sorry for having your curiosity risen towards the question I had. I will ask if the time presents itself.
Your VP needs to sit and watch some slapsticks or cartoons. Gosh if one doesn’t laugh each day you become a very bitter person. Life is too serious to be like that all the time… if you laugh or can laugh at yourself …then you got a better chance of living a bit longer…its good for the heart. Gosh.
Talk soon..gotta run.
Just wanted to log in and let you know I was wrong - he contacted me first thing this morning and wanted to see me this evening. I agreed. And now I'm more confused than ever! At least he admitted he is just as confused as I am. He leaves on his trip tomorrow morning. There's always lots to do the day before you leave on a business trip and yet he did want to see me before he left which SHOULD mean something yet with him, who knows. The man is an enigma!
My VP has no sense of humor whatsoever That's probably why she thinks mine is so strange! I think she goes home at night and snacks on little children (LOL).
Is the envelope thing like hearing your recorded voice? Because I detest the way my voice sounds on a voice mail or any other sort of recording - sounds so strange and AWFUL! I always think, "is THAT what people hear????"
I knew that he would!!! I deleted the question I had because that would have prompted you to initiate this meeting. I didn't want you to step away from your ground rules you made because they are good ones looking at the situation he is in. Don't forget that. So not asking you was necessary to keep you calm for you to act NATURALLY as you did. As I said smart person. Now I hope that you do keep your ground rules and him in check during this get together.
I agree when traveling a person has a great deal to sort out perhaps he already did or is a light traveler. Don't worry about these details...just sit there and see what he brings to the table and keep your head on!!! Remain in your "core" and don't forget that lovely breeze you have enjoyed up to now. TAKE IT EASY!!!!
So your VP has her private Hansel and Gretchen stack? LOL.
The envelope thing is just to let you know how others hear you. When recording you still have differences between your speech and singing voice. Because a persons brains always "manipulate" what you intend to do. The s e x y voice or other kinds. So when speaking into a voice mail your message determines what "vibe" you leave behind. Like if you are worried of how you sound you hear that back in what you left on that "tape". I must admit it takes time to get accustomed with.
Have a nice evening.