Scorp/Cap - Can it work?
Just wondering if anyone has any insight into this pairing...
me - nov 3 1976
him - dec 24 1982
we've been getting along well when we're together and I can tell that he likes me though from everything I've read he's exhibiting typical capricorn behaviour and saying that work comes first and that he can never be enough for me (even though I haven't asked him for anything other than spending time with him having fun) though his actions betray his words... he's away a lot which doesn't bother me but I'm wondering if it's actually possible to get a capricorn to let down his walls over time... any input would be appreciated...
Looking at your astrological profiles, I see this can work well for marriage. You are two weighty, perhaps even overserious individuals but together you can enjoy lighter, freer, livelier, and more interesting times. Yet you do so without sacrificing your awareness of the deeper side of life. The energy here encourages self-reliance, but the two of you can also share ideal, even ecstatic experiences and tend to learn quite a bit as well. For such profound individuals, this matchup could be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence.
A love affair and/or a marriage here is likely to be quite passionate, but lighthearted as well. Strongly sexual, the two of you are sometimes quite playful. which helps you on many levels. Nor are you lacking socially; you will delight in social occasions of all kinds, even while preferring those that are mentally broadening. Together you will love to observe the foibles of others but not in a mean-spirited way. You both have a strong compassionate streak. The sense of freedom that is important to both of you will not prevent your love affair from becoming marriage as long as your affair is properly structured. Make sure you do not become too isolated in a clique of two. Focus on the need for freedom in your relationship - don't assume it exists - and make allowances for it. Limit domineering, possessive, workaholic, and jealous attitudes. If not, you may still part as friends; in fact, the relationship's strengths - its wit, its relaxing quality, its orientation towards philosophical pursuits in the arts and sciences - mean that continuing a friendship after a love affair is very likely. You would both be unwilling to give up what your relationship has to offer.
Your partner can become obsessed with and desperate to be self-reliant and considered successful, to the point where he may push away the very people who can comfort and support him. He fears losing control which is what love tends to be all about - letting go and allowing someone else into your heart and space. He really does need the warmth and intimacy that a relationship can provide, yet he can stiffen or freeze when someone goes to hug him. He wants to be in total control of every area of his life all the time and his need to prove himself through being successful is almost insatiable. But this need for control means that he finds it very difficult to let people get close to him. Emotions are so hard to control.
Thanks Captain... for both the hope and also reading what I already kind of see... he is so self-reliant almost to the point that it seems he doesn't believe he deserves someone - that he can't be enough even though I've asked for nothing (I don't need him but I want him is how I phrased it to him)... he has admitted to me that he has in the past pushed people away when they've started to get too close but hasn't with me - though at times he does tend to withdraw more at which point I just show up at his place - get in his space after he's had a few days of isolation and he always seems happy to see me so I think that this might be reassuring to him...
He knows where I stand - that I like him, that I am not demanding anymore of him than what he can give me (he's away a lot but always gets in touch when he's back)... we make general plans for the future in terms of getting together and doing stuff... I hug him a lot and he seems to enjoy it... but I feel like I have to almost chase him a bit - is this ok? I don't mean in an overbearing everyday kind of way but rather a gentle keep reminding him that I'm still here kind of way (it seems like he just expects me to disappear - or at least he's pushing to see what happens - whenever I've done that in the past - pushed - it was because I wanted to see if that person was worthy, if they'd push back - so that's kind of what I'm doing)... it's hard though because he's just so worried about me getting hurt, of me not getting what I need, of it being selfish for him to get involved with me... so I don't know. His words speak of warning but his actions are just so different.... that being said it gets hard when he is away because I don't get those actions and start to doubt..
We haven't been sexual yet and I think that's more than ok... good actually... we've kissed and such but no nakedness yet though we have both admitted that it's something that is necessary though it seems that it will happen on his time, when he's ready... I guess from your insight I just need to be persistent without being pushy and hopefully over time he'll let down his guard somewhat?
It is very difficult to get close to a Capricorn guy. He is always enclosed within a strong wall, which is not too easy to breach. He is not too gregarious or outgoing, but his personality traits include determination and patience. He has fierce ambitions, which he pursues with a strong resolve. If you look at him casually, it may seem as if he prefers solitude to company. Now, look deeper, inside his heart. Though he doesn't show it, he wants admiration as much as other people. It's just that a Capricorn male is too shy to express his feeling openly. Another problem with him is that he doesn't know how to handle compliments. If and when he gets any, he becomes too embarrassed and may pass it off as a joke or ignore it altogether. So next time, don't be fooled by him. Tell him that he is delightful, intelligent, good-looking and attractive. He needs to know it.
The characteristics profile of a Capricorn male makes him a true romantic, though you may only come to know about this after the courtship days are almost coming to an end. He prefers to maintain a control over his emotions and displays composed manners, realistic actions and somber intentions. You have to remember that this is not what he is on the inside. In fact, he is very much like a coconut, which seems to be tough on the outside but is extremely soft internally. If you manage to peek inside his heart, you will see a charming person, who loves to dream, likes getting wet in the rain and seeks compliments.
You just have to become to be one of those few who manage to come close to him. A Capricorn man can provide you with a roof in a storm as well as keep you warm on a freezing winter night. Don't expect him to start reciting poems for you. He is a romantic at heart, but these feelings will not get displayed every now and then. As long as you know what he feels for you, it is enough for him. He doesn't need to tell the world that he loves you. You will have to slowly lure him out of his protective shell and encourage him to show his emotions.
Show a Capricorn male that you believe in his practical dreams and he will dream some more. Then, one day, he will achieve all of them and much more. At that point of time, you will be there beside him, patting his back and glowing in the warmth of success as well as his subtle love. He is one of the few men who are very serious in their youth and tend to relax with age. When all your old classmates start developing wrinkles, he will look as well as act like a college-going guy. He will take you on long drives, when most of the other men are resting their old bones. With Capricorn men, the best part always comes the last, just like the dessert of the meal. You will not have to worry much about loyalty. He literally worships family ties and wouldn't sacrifice them for short, meaningless flings. The family means you and the kids as well as his parents and siblings. It is better if you understand this and respect his other family too. You will be expected to be a good wife, good mother, good daughter-in-law and a good cook. Then, you will have to keep your house spick and span, dress well in front of his friends and have impeccable manners. It doesn't matter if you are not pretty, you will have to impress his family and care for them. This is what matters to your Capricorn guy. After everything has been settled, make sure to tell him that you love his family, but it is he you are going to marry and he should never forget this. Since he finds it very difficult to express his emotions, you better start training him in the art of romance at an early stage.
If you forget to play your part, then better get used to knowing that you are loved, but never being told so. As a father, he will be a little strict and demand respect, discipline and compliance from the kids. In return, he will sacrifice his own happiness to see them smile. Even though he has deep respect for family ties, he will walk out of a marriage if he thinks he made a mistake. If ever it happens, don't expect to be given a second chance. When something is over for him, it's over forever and he never looks back again.
Initially, romance and love may look like just a part of your Capricorn man's schedule. However, as he grows older, the love will become like an old wine, richer than before. He will always provide you with an umbrella on a rainy day and remain devoted to you as long as he lives. Look beyond that tough exterior, he has a gentle and caring heart - a heart that will love you even when you start walking with a stick. For him, you will always be the girl who made him fall in love and whom he wants to protect from the rest of the world. What if he doesn't say 'I Love You' that often, he does makes you feel loved all the time! Doesn't he?
what about both our aries moons?
This means that your emotional natures are the same. Both of you are assertive, emotionally self-sufficient individuals who respond with positive action, anger, or compulsive busy-ness whenever you are upset. Often you deny or downplay any feelings of weakness, dependency, or neediness in yourselves or others. You expect yourself to "snap out of it" whenever you feel sad, low, or moody, and you're frequently impatient with others' emotional needs as well. This is not so bad when you are both feeling up, but when one of you is ill or feeling vulnerable, you may not get the comfort or support you need. Both of you have a competitive spirit and may enjoy playing sports or other athletic activities together, but you can easily antagonize one another instead, and end up feeling like rivals rather than loving friends. Both of you instinctively want to lead and don't compromise or take commands very readily. Having two "chiefs" in one household can be volatile at times!
It's where Venus is in your charts that show what your love style is.
Your Venus was in Sagittarius when you were born and your partner's was in Capricorn.
How you relate to him in love - Your love natures and needs are quite different, which can set you up for both challenges and growth opportunities. You throw yourself whole-heartedly into the love of the moment, without much interest in long-term relationship planning. Your lover, on the contrary, is considerably more cautious about starting a relationship, but once he makes a commitment, it is a lasting and serious one. The potential clash here is the direction of the partnership. Your lover wants to garner some sort of security from your plans for your relationship, while you prefer to "wing it". You attract others with your friendly, optimistic personality, and your partner exudes a certain quiet, cautious charm when it comes to love. Chances are that you are the more outgoing of the two - not necessarily in a general personality sense, but in terms of the kindling of your romantic relationship. Your spiritedness was likely a big turn-on for your partner, at least at the outset. As things move forward, however, he may pick at that very optimism, perhaps due to his own fears of being insecure in partnership. You might complain that he takes things too seriously, and wish for more "oomph" and adventurousness. Nevertheless, with understanding, you have much to offer each other. You can loosen him up, offering a freshness and encouragement that is hard to find, while your partner can help you to see the value of planning ahead.
Thanks Captain... anyone else have any insight into this pairing from experience?