In need of Practice with Tarot Cards.



  • if we r not gonna meet this weekend, when will this coldness between us end (be normal couples)?



  • Hi EIAI,

    Forgot to ask... you said that my BF could change if he wanted to and that I would just have to wait. So question is will he change, if given enough time...also how do i increase my value so that he wants to change???

    Thanks



  • BTW, just another question poped out of my mind - u said earlier that he doesnt know what to do with me.. do u think if he has any intention of breaking up with me at this moment?? or how can he be this ice cold to me?!



  • Sahara,

    What does the future hold for your relationship?

    Good news. This phase of this relationship will work out for a good while. It seems that you both will be trying your best. When you get further in though, there are going to be a few challenges popping up. I get the sense that you both won't be agreement to what you both have planned for the future. For you, I see that you want greater commitment and he may not want it just yet.

    will he change, if given enough time...also how do i increase my value so that he wants to change???

    Yes, he needs time to grow and to find himself. He is not a connected person (physically, mental, and emotional disconnect). He may need to go into counseling as there may be things inside of himself he can not deal with. So long as he can work on himself, he can change.

    Just like he's working on himself, so will you be in need of some self-work. To him, you may be needy, and this is a turn off especially when he's going through bad times. You need to work on yourself more --your confidence-- so that he can see that you are independent.

    How will you be financially next year?

    A slow start with many obstacles coming up. Next year you'll feel as if things aren't going so well, but if you keep going things will slowly, but surely, improve. It all depends on you and your ambition. The way you make money will grow and continue to increase so long as you're willing to really work hard through all the problems that stand before you.

    will this business idea of mine take off?

    No, though it may seem to have great potential there will be things that you will need to decide. I feel that it may affect your son and that you will need to decide on what's best for him.

    Will I find an interim job, that will pay well and that i'll like and be good at?

    You will find a job, but only because you will need the money.

    Should I see if my mother can pull some strings and get me a job with NASSIT, for the time being? Or should I go and something will turn up.

    Perhaps you should let mother help you out as things will not turn out as you're expecting them. She can help.

    What should I do and how will I make it through?

    Keep your eyes on the prize. It all depends, again, on you-- on whether you can stick with this job or not. I get that you may not like it and be only in it because of your financial matters, but it's all that you will be able to do for the time being. It'll all pay through in the long run as you may find, because of this job, a new and better place to work.

    My BF said he'd try and help me find work when he gets out there, will he beable to?

    Yes.



  • Danceur,

    Not so good news... You're probably feeling desperation to know of him, but unfortunately, when you do find out what he's going through it will be that you find out the lies that he's been putting up in front of him. They will come to light and will you see him for what he is.

    Why do you feel this way is because I think you have been thinking of him--wondering. You want so much for him to come back and for him to realize you are there. It's welling inside of you and wanting to burst. To scream out to him and tell him that you are there.

    It is not the right time. As you try and find him to talk to him, to be with him, it will be a mistake. His feelings are not in tune with you.

    The Hera card tells for you to sit down a little longer and wait. No crying out, no contacting him as this may stir up more trouble in your life with him.

    I feel as if he is gong through an internal struggle as well and that if he pushed, he will lash out at any one. Don't be a casualty of his. If he would like, he can contact you, but for now it's best to leave him.



  • Hi EIAI,

    Gosh where to begin.

    I know that when he does pull away i do get needy, so definately will work on that aspect. I guess just continue as if all is well.

    If i dont force the whole commiment issue, will he eventually take the steps towards commiment as in Engagement etc.

    The property mgmt business wont take off, if I understand you correctly. Does this mean i shouldnt try to make it work? So i should get help from my mother even though I may not like the job, cause it could lead to better job options.

    I need to keep my eye on the prize...ok..so just work hard at whatever the job is that I end up with, whether i like it or not, because it is a means to an end.

    I am not sure how my work(property mgmt) will affect my son. I am hoping for a regular 9-5 type working hours, so I can spend time with him.

    I have spent so much time trying to figure out work in Sierra Leone, because I really love it there but I should maybe ask if it is the right place for me. Surely, it shouldn't feel this hard, to get to a place that you feel your destined to be. If it isnt where should I be? Also, what area of work do you feel I should persue?

    I feel like the more questions I ask, the more questions that arise..Not sure if I'm getting any closer to a solution, so to speak.

    So lets simplify...is Sierra Leone where I should be? Will I find or create work that will give me the lifestyle I desire?? At the end of the day, that is what I want, to lead a comfortable life and beable to provide for my family and myself. And will I eventually meet someone I can share my life with?

    Thanks again EIAI.



  • DDTT,

    Will we meet sometime this weekend? if yes, how will it go?

    The cards do not indicate that you will.

    if we r not gonna meet this weekend, when will this coldness between us end (be normal couples)?

    You both may not be really over this until March 11-14 as you both need to work on where you are in the relationship and figure out things for yourselves

    do u think if he has any intention of breaking up with me at this moment?? or how can he be this ice cold to me?!

    No, again, it's because you're making things difficult for him that he's completely not used to it and doesn't know what he's doing or should be doing.

    The cards advice that perhaps you should take some time to show him how much you care for him--how much he is worth to you. Perhaps you're not used to showing such things to another, but for him, you need to do some extra work, more communication, so that he knows how you really feel about him. I think with him, you should also be willing to go with the flow of things rather than try and control the situation at every turn.



  • Sahara,

    Is Sierra Leone where I should be?

    No, there is somewhere else, though I can not say where.

    Will I find or create work that will give me the lifestyle I desire??

    Yes, as your work will be dependent on the people you know. When they like you they are more than willing to support your ideas.

    And will I eventually meet someone I can share my life with?

    Yes, but that is always depending on how you conduct your personal life. If you are balanced and successful there, then you will find someone that is capable and suitable for you.



  • thanks so much for your advice, EIAI. i feel bad that i asked u lots of stupid questions regarding my relationship.. you didnt mind.. your feedbacks r very helpful. guess its time to make changes. again, i appreciate your help. hope you have a great weekend! and good luck with your exam this upcoming week. hope your dream come true going to south korea!



  • ehh one more question - will i get to meet this friend (helping me withe the job hunting) this month??? if so, when probably? thanks!



  • Hi EIAI

    You know your doing very well.

    I found out that he was on sites for fun before he even married her, yet they been together for yrs,, learnt this from ex wife. I had feeling and my gut said, as i enjoyed that intimidation ease how we where, and it played havoc with me for to long.

    I do believe at some small point he cared and felt slightly bad in his own weird way. He very much is like a child, has have it his own way all time, well i could if i spoke right get mine to.

    I have deactivated that email account, i felt so better for it,, i dont think i ever really saw his true face, i see the man i got on with, although there where times, i wanted to be my norm self be strong and ask him out right,

    I've learnt to forgive myself for that.

    I get feeling, i was in dark place and he is dark,, like he loves black as colour, to me very dark inside and damaged emotionally,, people who make up they are sick when they are not are attention seeking, and sick in some way?.. exactly what he did.

    Will i be completely free of my thoughts on him, as i dont think chat to ex wife is help much, yet i helped her in some way.



  • Hi EIAI,

    Actually that's what I meant - I've stopped contacting him because I too don't feel it's the right time. Don't want to get caught up in the stuff he needs to work through. And I do think he has to go through this turmoil on his own, that it is for his own good.

    It's hard, I'll admit. There's unresolved things between us. You're right about the 'screaming' - hehe... hard not to feel that way if you've been sitting on your feelings for 5 months - until I've almost become good at appearing not to be bothered by it. When in actual fact, I think about it everyday.

    But it felt like I reached a small breakthrough - a feeling that tells me it's ok for me to let go for now... just focus on other stuff, and things will be ok with us in time. And he will reach out when he is ready.

    I am wondering now about these lies... about the front you said he's been putting up. That I'm not seeing the real him. What can you tell me of this?

    I'm a bit miffed...wondering what is wrong with me that I always end up with guys who are not honest with me. Who end up feeling undeserving of the love I give them..



  • DDTT,

    Yes, it'll be by March 8-11.

    Thank you, too, DDTT.

    Good luck with everything.



  • Scully I don't not see you being over this, but I don't necessarily seeing this as being bad. This a life changing experience that has allowed you to analyze your life. It's allowed you to help yourself and keep reaching out to people to not only help yourself, but others as well.

    Though it may be a painful memory, it's one that you need to absorb -- own it-- and be proud of the new person that you have become and are becoming. In the end it helps you.



  • Danceur,

    When I asked about him, the cards gave me a card that he's a crossroad right now. He doesn't know what to do, but it has a lot to do what he had done in his past. Do you know if he has children? I got the commitment card and I immediately, thought that there is a child involved. I asked further and cards say that that's what's on his mind. A child that he just found out about, perhaps.

    And about your love life, maybe it's projection. Maybe it's that you're not completely honest with yourself and that's why you always end up with less than suitable men. Maybe all that love you have to give should be given to yourself first.



  • Yes EIAI you could be right here.

    I never asked him, but I heard he was divorced and it could be that there's a child or children from the marriage or another past relationship. But if so, they live in a different country and he's appears very disconnected from it.

    I would understand his reluctance to reveal this to people. Perhaps if he were more open with it, he'd find that many are accepting of it. Including me. I can accept if he has children. We all have a past.

    If it's a child he just found out about, on the other hand, that would be really tough on him - because he's been leading life as a single guy.

    Is it apparent which scenario this is? A child/children he has been supporting from afar, that he doesn't tell people about, or one he's just finding out about? And what of the relationship with the mother? What happened with it?

    I'm a late bloomer and I didn't date a lot. I grew up a lot only in the last few years. So I guess it's a combination of inexperience and lack of discernment and grappling with my own identity. I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin now, and showing people who I really am. A lot happier as a result 🙂

    I get a sense sometimes that people feel safe with me. Even him. Else, he wouldn't have let me in that close. Any truth to this? I haven't contacted him in awhile but the last time I did, I told him I missed him. He said the same back. Was he being sincere?



  • Danceur,

    A child/children he has been supporting from afar, that he doesn't tell people about, or one he's just finding out about?

    Looks like he's just finding out about this child. It hasn't been too long ago( Feb 7).

    And what of the relationship with the mother?

    He's not in love with her, but he's trying to be responsible. It's not easy as he doesn't know how to adjust. She's been reaching out to him, perhaps for help.

    I get a sense sometimes that people feel safe with me. Even him. Else, he wouldn't have let me in that close. Any truth to this?

    Safety, I don't think, but perhaps that you did bring confidence to him. A boost to his self-esteem. I see that he was very attracted to you and that you were perhaps sought after by others that made you even more irresistible to him

    Was he being sincere?

    The cards do not indicate that he was...



  • Hi EIAI,

    In by owning it does that mean ?

    I look now on the positive i got from it and how happy it made me feel for a while,, and i know it did, in his weird way he did try help me in some respects, and i do think he felt a tad guilty for what he was doing, i could tell when he got defensive, when i asked or said something re been married,.

    I see a sad man deep inside, the façade of positive charmer was just that, we did have a laugh, he never been able to give me what i needed emotionally and spiritually.

    Im now off on my first holiday with actually going somewhere,, this i hope will give me my mental relaxation i need.

    I've got another break next month, can you see any good ideas of what i should do then?



  • Hey EIAI,

    An unborn child or one that's been raised by its mother alone?

    Does it come down to marriage for him? Moving back to his country of origin? Or financial support for the child from afar.

    Ordinarily this would be really happy news. I just found out my friend is pregnant and i was so happy for her. But this situation - it's very sad.

    Reason I said 'safe' - he revealed a lot about his childhood, personal hobbies and family even when he hardly knew me. Even about his Dad's passing. I was very taken aback because we hardly



  • Sorry EIAI - incomplete post...

    Reboot...

    An unborn child or one that's been raised by its mother alone all these years?

    Does it come down to marriage for him? Moving back to his country of origin? Or financial support for the child from afar.

    Ordinarily this would be really happy news. I just found out my friend is pregnant and i was so happy for her. But this situation - it's very sad.

    Reason I said 'safe' - he revealed a lot about his childhood, personal hobbies and family even when he hardly knew me. Even about life changing events. I was very taken aback that he trusted me with this info because we hardly talked before that point. That was a year ago.

    Yes I knew he was very attracted. Is he still? Or just too much on his mind? Is that all I was/am to him - Physical attraction, self-esteem boost?

    It felt real EIAI, it's like he was a schoolboy in love around me. I've seen that before in other people - I know what it looks like. He would text me almost everyday, good morning, good nite, little sweet messages when I was sick. He would tell me about his day, without me asking...

    Right about now, I empathize with his situation. No wonder he quipped that nothing will be the same again for him 😞 I feel bad to say this but I feel lucky that it's not me in that situation with him - because it could easily have been me.

    And to sidetrack a bit - do you get a sense that I would ever have a child/children?

    Thanks EIAI... 🙂


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