My head is spinning! Anyone who can help me!
Hi to every one! God bless you all for the help that you give to people! Ill try to be short on my description,and not to be too much of a nuisance! This is how it stars: i was married and relationship with my husband for 17 years! Recently separated with him for his alcohol addiction. What ever i did for him was, at the end a waist! never enough to do something in our lives! We have a son together! My story is that i never been happy! 4 questions are bothering me.... I still live with my ex husband because i have brought him to a country that he does not know the language, he doesnt have any money or friends or relos! how do i separate my life with him with out feeling guilty? 2nd my mother still lives with me without her looking for an option of living by herself. my mother is 60 years old and im 43. 3rd i fell in love with this man born on the 26/3/1969 and promised me the world, but he is too much involved with his work! thats what he told me. i devised to back off, for him!!!! It did hurt alot. i had a break down!!!! I decided to move on! when i did that without him knowing he appears in my life again and promising that he will take me out and talk about our issues. No Answer yet from him!!!! i would like to know what will happen with him also. He is the love of my life! As much as it hurts i try to move on!!!! I recently have meet this man his date of birth is 7/5/1959. i would like to know what to do in my life, as my life is confusing. i have no hope of resolving this by myself. Thank you for reading my message, in advance!!! Many blessings to all of you from the bottom of my heart!!! Effie
I will give a short opinion about what I just read.
To me you are providing for everyone in your home regardless the situation of how it became like this. And they are very okay with it. Because if your husband (with addiction and all) wanted to something else for his life he would try to accept the reality of being in a new country and explore his options.
Him staying in this modus is his way to keep you feeling guilty of everything that possibly went wrong between you two.
Your mother has this thought that you should be responsible for her wellbeing.
As for these two gentleman that came into your life....to be honest you can't offer either anything as long as your home life is at it is.
You need to confront both your ex and your mother expressing your unhappiness with their attitude and be firm that they both need to start looking for other arrangements. If they both don't get the message then I suggest you start looking for another place to live and leave them two sort themselves out together.
As for gentleman nr. 1 (the love of your life) honestly this is not the right TIME for you both.
As for gentleman nr. 2 ...I have the same message for you.
These men even if they would offer you a way out isn't the way for you. You need to clear up your mess (sorry for the choice of words) before you can attract a person that you want to keep in your life. If you don't you will only fustrate a beautifull opportunity to be indeed happy.
I wish you much strenght and be honest with yourself.
Thank you so much for your help and advice, and please dont be sorry for the choice of words. I know that at the end i have to stop feeling guilty for them because i havent done anything wrong. Thats the person who i am. I always feel for others, even if they have upset me. Ihave to move on, and you are right for both men. Its not the right time. I feel that i have to sell my house and i dont know if that will be the right or if i will succeed on doing that. I would like you to help me on that too, if you can! You are spot on about my mother and ex, they are clinging on me like jelly fish!!! Haha!!! Thank you again for your help Flow. If you can help with some advice with my house and if things would go well if i sell it, that will be much appreciated!
love to you Effie
I apologized for the typo's ..I just noticed that.
Virgo's to my knowlegde are practical peoples. So I am suggesting you put that part of you into practice. Research if the timing is right to sell your house in your area and how soon this can happen. I don't have a clear feel upon that.
You personally have to start trusting yourself and what you are capable of as an individual. It's like you have been slumbering for a long time and now feel like you are at the bottom of the chain in a way.
The only thing you need at this moment is to shake off this feeling of being there for every single person who are very much capable of taking care of themselves.
You can't take care of others if you yourself isn't okay.
So bring out that natural practical person that you are and put it to work. We have had a full Moon a few days back and it was one of new beginnings. On the 23rd we are entering yet another practical year of the Chinese Dragon...so basically a good time to set out new endevours for yourself with a good chance of materializing.
Send out positivity (thoughts) and be open for a positive return even if it's a small one. Get cracking no time to waste.
Thank you once again Flow! Yes i am a virgo with a practical mind, witch gets confused of too much thinking! You are right i have been slumbering for a long time, without getting anywhere.Time to move on even if i so scared what will await for me down the road. Dont worry about typos friday the 13th today everything is possible.Ill keep you posted on my journey of discovering the new me and my life.Thank you for your help Flow!!! Always in my heart there will be a special place for you!!
We all get caught up on thinking too much at times. Especially if you have to consider so much and weigh out what your actions will cause. But it's okay. Better to think things through than act without the prep work. Spontaneity is for other areas in a person's life. You will be fine.