Dear Blmoon

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Wow the things that are going through my mind right now are so intense.

    Starting on the 1st of January there was a new law in California that anyone who buys alcohol in a self check-out line must show there I.d no matter how old they are. Its the law.

    Alot of people get really rude about it and say they shouldn't have to show it I must be kidding, and alot of people pull out their wallet with the id tucked away so I have to ask them to pull it out so I can see it.

    Makes my job harder, but more then that it makes me see what people look like as they age.

    I have always been a blue jean kind of girl and still dress more or less the same as I always have. I lost fiath in my self and wear baggier clothes and find myself in sweat shirts alot when its cold, but wow people my age look pretty bad.

    Especially the men, I can't even beging to imagine wanting to date any of the men my age.

    The few I found attractive turn out to be alot younger than me, and are very surprised when I tell them how old I am.

    It really makes my feel like I spent my whole life with a false love and lost my chance at something better.

    I have waited 3 years now for Ron to regret and beg like you promised me would happen and now I feel like he never did love me at all and she was the one he wanted all these years.

    I think he used me to build the life he thought he was supposed to have and now has the life he always wanted.

    Did I throw away my chance at love by spending 27 years with him?

    I have tried to be friendly with 3 differant men and none are interested in me at all, I don't know why,

    One man shops at my store and kind looks like Ron only he teaches tyquando so is in great shape. He has tattoos that I madee a comment on and told him I have a few that don't show, he laughed and asked me where they were, and I blushed and said you may never know. Now he doesn't go through my line anymore and looks at me like he is shy whenever he comes in.

    I would love to believe I have a chance at happiness, but I am so affraid that part of my life is gone for good.

  • Nancy

    if you read through the blogs--you are not alone--been one crazy week!!!! It's not you---many of us have felt the universal downer in play. Like being stuck--not moving ---impatience everywhere for "something to happen". I've been resting but the few posts I've answered are freakin over the same feelings--loss--grief---an overwhelming feeling that life will never be good---all past joy was a lie etc. etc. etc. And a fear that our MOJO is gone and never to return. You are still inbetween letting go of the past and looking towards a future that is not real yet---in fact you really have no idea what kind of man you are entitled to. And dear Nancy--please stop assuming when you extend an open space for an interesting man and he backs of that it's YOU!!!! Your self esteem is so low right now----did it ever occur to you that the men who reject you have a problem? Just like Ron---you are not unlovable--he has a problem loving! Keep your emotions seperate---there's Ron and the impatience of waiting on him and there's getting older--two seperate things. We all deal with aging---it is scary---surprises us---on a bad day--we are invisible---miss the lusty looks from young men----and you are so right---if you do keep yourself up--the men your age do seem older. But really, we can chose more positive examples--look at all the older women still hot---it's a STATE OF MIND! If you feel excited about life---love your body enought to treat it right the energy is attractive. Surely, you've come across a man who did not have good looks or a perfect body yet had this great aura about him and people just flocked around him. As for the checkout line thing--so funny!!! You know you are being tested----confrontation is your weakness and here you are given the perfect opportunity to work on that one!!! You can make it entertaining---be strong not apologetic---practice humour. This is your chance to be powerful--change people's energy. Have you ever been in a p issy mood---and had that one checkout girl treat you in a way that just changed your mood? Everyone has that power

    think of all the great one liner comebacks. Practice sensing others energy their personality--you are an empath. Learn to size people up so you know just what to say. Just last week I was using the debit thingy---you know how you keep thinking your done then the poor girl has to tell you you need to tell it one more thing? Well I sensed the check out girl was so tired of telling people that and feeling people's agravation. She was apologetic---I laughed and said oh lord I suppose soon it will be asking us if we are happy today---and she got hystericle laughing. Maybe if you get a man who you sense in his voice a paranoid anger you can smile big and say well uncle sam is so old and blind and senile now now he thinks everybody is 16. Make it fun---You have an instinct and a voice--use it. And as for Ron---I never lied about it being a long haul. BLESSINGS!.

  • OH--BIG PS

    this is a good time to respect that you are an empath---and that to be subjected to so many other's energy fields ever day means you must be more aware of what is you and what is not---you will gather stuff you do not own. If you are stuck in that job you have to figure out how to purge and restore or at least be strong in your own power ---this is tough. Also---as for attracting the right man---if you use your voice--face confrontation with power that solves not fuels---you just might attract a man who apreciates a spunky confident goddess---and not a doormat. Those run away men that send mixed signals--are your past--they confuse---and are waiting for the woman to do all the work and look for doormat qualitys----they want a girl to chase them--do all the work and hopefully keep them wondering if they are good enought---you are so lucky when these guys make you feel "not enough"---but send mixed vibes. It's a compliment they move on.

  • Hi Nancyeann. I don't want to T/J but just need to say a couple of things. First I was wondering if you were OK as the last time we talked you were really down. I do think you are a bit more optimistic. You have actually reached out to some men which I think shows real strength and hope for a future. 🙂

    Secondly I had to smile about the ID check. I am OLD, grey hair and all. I was checking out a bottle of wine at the self scanner and the attendant who was just about my age came over and said in a very serious voice. It is the law that I must have proof that you are old enough to buy that wine.. I need to see your ID. I said "seriously" she answered yep and we both started to smile. By the time I dug out the ID we were both laughing and she responded I see you have just meet the age requirement. Have a great evening. I left with a light feeling as I had not been carded in more than 25 years.

    I too have been experiencing the restlessness and looking for something. In fact I asked watergirl am I stuck or am I just fighting my way out of this.. She didn't answer but like blmoon says a lot of folks are restless so I'll look at it like a universal restlessness.

    I'm pulling for you nancyeann... I'm sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel. ABP

  • Dear Abetterplace,

    Thank you for caring about me, it really means alot. I do have a little more strnght than before, but I still feel so lost and alone.

    It is funny how some people resond to being carded, I wish everyone had your humor.

    Dear Blmoon,

    I don't understand why I am still being tested so much, haven't I been through enough?

    There are times I think of leaving my store to work produce somewhere, but at my age, and with all my years it will make people unhappy.

    You are right about my self esteem, it is pretty much gone, I know people care, but.....

    Do you still belive he will regret and try to come home?

    I am pretty sure I wouln't allow it, but a part of me needs to hear it.

  • Do you still belive he will regret and try to come home?

    I am pretty sure I wouln't allow it, but a part of me needs to hear it.

    dear one,

    what you are looking for is called "poetic justice" .. you may or may not

    get it. whatever goes on with Ron and any woman he ends up with has

    very little to do with you. if he is happy than he is happy. if he is sad,

    then he is sad. you can't force anyone to feel badly for what they have

    done to you.

    time for you to accept your loss and move forward no matter how difficult

    it is. it may take you another 2 years before you will finally say or feel

    nothing for Ron. that is what you should be looking forward to, instead

    you are obsessing on what you want Ron to feel/say of do. what if he is

    not capable of that?

    good luck..

  • "good luck with getting Ron to feel the feelings you need for him to feel"

  • What a beautiful way to put those facts MsSunny. I too needed the reminder but the real reason I want to share is the history from my X husband of nearly 30 years ago.. He walked out on me and the children after 17 years of marriage. He was actively, openly dating within a month of leaving etc Like Nancyeann I felt like I needed for him to know he was wrong in doing that. There is much more to this story but the important part is there is an ongoing relationship with with the kids and my oldest daughter asked him a couple of years ago if he thought he had made the right decision as he now has been married 5 times and is unhappy still. He denied the affair and went on to say and your mom was happy we weren't together.

    She knew both were untrue and when she talked to me she was pretty exercised about his blindness. I felt nothing except pity and said to her there are lessons in all relationships the development, living, and endings. It is sad he can't face his lessons and keeps repeating them. I did come to not care what he thought or believed and it took a long time.

    Karmic lessons for both of us.

    I struggle with the same desire for my current break up but I believe that is part of the letting go. As we process that our life is NOW not in the past or a pretend future. That needing to hear they were wrong continues to give them power over our life and our future. That if one really needs to hear it you can still actively try and make your life better and happier without them.. Maybe that is the lesson from this for all in the situation. Love yourself , know yourself. the rest will come once the basics are in place

    Another suggestion for you Nancyeann try and look at work as an area that is your own. Not a part of him and his roll in your life. Make it as happy as you can. Cherish the opportunity to interact with strangers and somehow make their day a little brighter. Make yourself invaluable to the company it will help your self esteem. It isn't easy when you are depressed but perhaps a fake it till you make it attitude will help.

    I'm not sure but I think I read they work there also. They can't control how you act but if it makes it harder for you start to look for a new job.

    Pulling for you ABP

  • Nancy---I know you heard this one over and over and it still soundstraddgectly unfair but I repeat as I said from post one---he will regret--will reachout BUT only after you no longer care. Remember how shocking that was to you--how you swore you could never imagine that? Yet as the months have rolled by it becomes truer and on your low days it is scary---the wheel goes up---the wheel goes down. Perspective changes from both points---same old feelings come annd go---on top you feel positive--excited about the horizon ahead---feel the freedom---feel more future than past. EMOTIONS will always be your nemises---you tend to get trapped in them as final when you know how quikly the weather changes. Victims are hopless places we can get stuck. Ron is more than a past---he represents an energy in YOU that steals your power--he represents more than you allow yourself to see---he is the world card---he makes you small but came into your life to heal you--bless that---bless it bless it bless it Nancy and move along this path faster if you are that impatient. You cannot control others--only how YOU decide to make of it--your power is yours right now. God did not put you here to punish you--Ron was not put here to punish you----all of life is a choice--a grand plan---pain and all to encourage us to find our purpose and by way of challange grow a muscle we need most. Stop being a victim

    you have to find the blessing. Needing something from Ron so you can be happy is exactly whats wrong in your life--not Ron--but YOU needing him to be something he is not to fill a hole an empty place you are missing---you are not in your full power right now but you have been many times---it is never all done Nancy--it is managed our shadow sides and weaknesses. There is never a time in anyone's lives that we pass a magic pain limit met and now we are good boys and girls and earned heaven on earth--sorry but this is earth---to get to heaven we die first! Nancy this will pass. Wounds are reality. I could still be waiting for my mother to show up at my door arms wide open and eyes lit up---it brings tears just to say that and as well a big laugh. I'm almost sixty and that missing injustice either devoures me or blesses me. My choice. Forget fair--that's the little girl in you that still crys to be heard. See the world as a much bigger plan--don't get stuck looking back. Justice comes when WE take a sh itty hand and grow roses. Take that empty wound and fill it with your OWN creation. There is nothing easy about that. Some of the most gifted creators in life were abandoned children wether physical or emotional--they found their blessing in creating themselves instead of walking around waiting for others to fill that void. Ron can either be the controling end of your joy or the fire under your a ss to heal. You had the wound befor you met Ron--he fit into your wound----you were in denial and believed whatever you needed to not change. BLESSING came the day you let him go--refused to pretend he loved you as a VERB---stopped lying to yourself--making excuses. He did you a favour---you have a whole new life ahead. Just stop going back--just don't think about it---reality is in the head and a choice. Live in the moment--it's all that is real and it gives you power. No more reminising--just stop it. You have that power--it's all the power any of us have--THOUGHTS. Thoughts have energy. And that's why soon as you manifest that energy of honestly no longer needing Ron---he will receive that energy shift and he will move towards you--and it will mean nothing--nothing ---in fact you will regret all the times like now you needed that. You will wish you had gotten it sooner. You will laugh at yourself and feel the power of wisdom and growth and blessings. Enjoy your sons Nancy. I've burried one. Life is preciouse---is now. HUGS! you know I am fond of you but sometimes you just need a kick out the front door and into the light--the NOW--the sunshine--the sweet smell of your sons. Don't waste blessings on moments gone. Choose love. You are not anyone's victim you have a choice. Choose love. BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon and everyone else,

    I need to tell you, I am not unhappy, nor am I waiting for Ron to do something amazing and fix the hole he left in my herart.

    I work hard and spend time with my beautiful boys, and live a good life.

    I would never have believed Ron would leave and when he did I was sure he would come home right away.l When that didn't happen it hurt, very bad, and then I met Blmoon, and she told me that he would want to come home, he would tell me all the things I longed to hear, he would regret the pain he caused me and my sons.

    She said he wasn't happy and his girlfriend isn't what he thought, that is what has madwe me wait for 3 years for him to come to me and say he was wrong.

    I am not crazy or stupid or some washed up women who is spending her life pining over a lost love.

    I was promised that he would feel that way.

    Never in a mmillion years would I have believed that if I had not been told it was true.

  • I see you are feeling better. You definetly are right--you are not washed up and you are blessed. And Ron will regret and he will say things you wanted to hear. You do not need me to tell you that anymore. You will be fine. I trust I heard right and understand completely your anger and your doubt. It's all good. BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    I am sorry if I was mean in my last post, but those other women make it sound like I am some looser wasting my life away waiting for him

    He is nit going to come back, I wont let him, there is nothing he can say to me to take away all the things he has said and done over the last 3 years

    Yes my heart is broken because I believed we had it all, I lived a happy life with him and he did not feel the same, his loss.

    All I want now is to get my divorce from him and a settlement I can live with so the next time he dares to talk to me I can tell him how I really feel instead of having to be nice so he will pay me.

    I don't care what happens with his and colleen anymore, I hope they plan a big wedding so I can get the papers signed.

    I do not want or need a man in my life to tell me lies or to make me feel things I don't want to feel.

    I am fine with life as it is, I wish I liked my job better, but I have been there for 35 years now so oh well.

    I have mastered the Id thing as well and take no s--t from the groucy people simply tell them if they don't want to show me they are welcome to go to a regular checkout line.

    I don'[t know why it took me so long to get it, but thanks I do now and I owe it all to you, you are a beautifl women.

  • YOU GO GIRL!!! I did understandle exactly were your feelings were coming from---anger is your best friend sometimes Nancy---that is what you have learned and earned. I feel your divorce is very very close----oh--spirit corrects me--says END---the end----so not sure of the diference but to me it has what you seek. There is a big losss on his end---something you don't know yet but it will get back to you very soon. BLESSINGS

    PS---one of your sons has a new love in his life at the moment or very near future. Spirit says "over the moon"---a kind of joke as they are very telepathic together.

  • Dear Blmoon.

    wow you scare me sometimes, Drew told me a few days ago that he has never before felt the way he does about his new girl.

    She has been his friend for along time, actually an x of his best friend and they are affraid to tell him, but they are so very happy.

    I felt this one was differant for him, but I am also affraid she has the power to hurt him very bad.

    , What is the differance spirit is talking about between my divorce and the end?

    I don't want to be mean, but I hope Ron ffels the loss of his son's, it never made sence to me that he threw them awy because he didn't have to when he left they all still loved him, now they don't.

  • I'm not sure what they meant by End. I assumed it meant that it would mean more than just signing papers---it feels like some kind of big event that is final and I was also picking up Ron having something final in his life. I'm picking up two seperate things but both represent something final--as in no going back and there would result a change. There is something final building in you too but that has been constant---this is more on his end. I also pick up something dramatic on her end----my impression is a feeling of tradjic----nothing connected to you so don't worry but someone goes too far and there is great consequience. It could be an actual event or me picking up Ron's entering painful regret. I pick up a connection with him and his mother---something has drawn him back to that time and someone or some event has put him back in touch with that pain. Remember how at first you were in so much pain---and part of your healing was in releasing old pain---healing from old wounds. Ron is in pain right now but is just now unable to turn it off--run from it. Also, he see's himself in his sons and does not want to go there---very sad as your boys don't deserve that. Ron avoids his past and doesn't even acknowledge being a young man at all--he does not go there but life is forcing him because that is what life is--the journey to healing and enlightenment-- or not ---but the more you run the harder life pushes back. Because they both have that same issue their awakening may only come after tradjec loss.Whatever it is you will hear about it soon.I still get health problems on his part and not sure if they are tied together or seperate events---whatever it is will change something he can't control. Could be the divorce as you both have different effects--you are craving it--he is avoiding it----I can see him driving alone pain in his chest getting vivid images---as if life suddenly becomes real he sees his mother and suddenly has vivid feelings of being her young son.---he's thniking this is final--this is the end. There's an event--its not just his feelings--what I'm seeing are fast moving trains that have been headed towards each other and bam---they all crash--no time to brake. I see a trainwreck.This is something that can't be changed. Spirit says consequiences have arived full view. And it's not just his consequince---he's not the only train--it's him--his mother----his lover and even that woman's other man. I hear his mother pleading to him during sleep--please son do not pass on tradgedy to your sons----do not follow my path---forgive me so you can change---forgive me so you can love safely. It's very very sad Nancy---you do not need to wish him pain---he IS pain! Out of places to run--out of steam. This divorce means very different things to him. For you--it is hard earned release to move on to something better--for him it's a trainwreck. His mother pleads to him--you can end this please forgive me---you must forgive me so you can forgive yourself and change---the time of no return is close. I think what I'm being bombarded with is his mother's persistent efforts to help him but he's not hearing her---he's spent so long being numb--dead inside pretending to be whatever for the moment but truth is he has been absent in his own life---you were the glue that kept it together and picked up his slack--did the extra work---made a home--a family. If you were younger you could have kept up but reality we age---we let go---to survive we sometimes have to get in our own life boat and row and not look back. He has no lifeboat. I see him drunk alone breaking things---he puts his fist through a wall---he's yelling I'm not my crazy mother---oh---I see her taunting him---she tells him he is crazy---it's ugly---I don't want to go there Nancy!---they fight very ugly and say horrible hateful things to each other. This I think already happened or is very very present as it is vivid and intense. It's a ragefull unleashing--like explosions. No going back. The end. Avoid thinking about this--I am not sure why spirit wanted you to hear this but keep a healthy distance. This is a negative energy and it's not yours to carry. Stay detached and perhaps the warning is for you to choose for your son's and yourself to be forgiving not for him or them but for you. If Ron had found a way to forgive his mother it would have changed things for ALL he touched---the suffering was handed down. Let that tradgedy END here with you. I think that is part of the message and your rightfull empowerment---you can't change the past only the future.And I have things to say about your son but not right now---I need to release what I just saw. BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Wow that was quite a post, I am not sure what to make of any of it, I try not to worry, but I have never ever seen Ron Sad or depressed in all of our years together.

    He takes life in stride and if he is mad he drinks.

    It wasn't untill he came home after his first affair that he let himself cry over his mothers death and that was very brief.

    I don't think anything in life bothers him at all and if she leaves him he will just go off and find someone else.

    He doesn't get family, we all tried for years to show him all the love in our hearts and he doesn't care.

    By forgiving him you don't mean let him back in my life do you, because I don't think I coiuld do that to myself.

  • Forgiving does not mean taking him back--but letting it go----people get confused by forgiveness. You can forgive but decide to cut a person out of your life--it's letting go of anger. I know the Ron breakdown is hard to imagine but you will here something that will validate that. Ron's controlled cool hid a lot of emotion and deep deep rage and hurt. A lot of his bad habits and unhealthy behaviours were symptoms---he had to always be distracted-- Once you see him differently a lot more will make sense. You have said many many times that his sweet promises --romantic gifts felt so real YET he could turn it on and off with a controll that on your end seems so empty and cold. You have always felt something was a LIE---there was a lie. He was not being real to himself---again spirit keeps saying he was missing in his own life. Very detached. He has been very much affected by his mothers tradgec life--how could he not. He is at the end--can't run from it anymore. The rage and pain must be released--he can't keep it down anymore--he's tired--older and your energy is missing---he fed off of you---your love--your nurture. You will hear something and maybe be in disbelief? . This new girl for your son despite your fears--you will like her as long as she stays good for your son. He will be wiser for knowing her---more adult as their relationship will blow out of the water any ideas he had about "relationships and love". He will be tested and will learn that relationships are much more complicated and unique and he will have less judgement about others. There is much passion between them and also peacefullness---meaning where emotions are plentiful things change fast---ever exciting. Because they are telepathic together it invites compulsion--intensity. It's a hard union to break or walk away from. And I know your fear--I always dreaded most with my sons--that first real heartbreak. Young men do crazy things at that young age that kind of pain---once they pass that first one---they know they will live. But yes, been there . My oldest son was away at college when his love broke it off he raced all the way back to see her and then came to my home totaly destroyed and he has always been my most headstraight strongest son. If he had been a little boy I coud have made him feel better but a grown man----he has and still is my most levelheaded son--I never had to argue with him but that night he wanted to drive 2 hours back to school at 3am and I refused to let him---I never had to be forcefull like that before with him but I just knew he' would not be safe---He was shocked and kept saying he would be fine but I held onto him and with all my strength told him he had to stay and he finally gave in. I actually liked her and later they remained friends until he married his wife. He couldn't remain friends untill after a long while and admitted he loved her but could be friends once he could process that they could not work out and he knew why---he is very level headed. My youngest son was the scariest---he fell for a girl I tried hard to like but never did--but I probably sensed the grief she was about to give my son---he fell so hard he would do anything for her--he dropped out of college---gave her his truck and he was so obssessed with her his life pretty much went unattended. She cheated on him and left him a mess. My psychic at the time told me she would make a man out of him. He was always childlike. He was very bitter for awhile and dated trying to get over her but of couse that failed and eventually he just got a job that was so demanding he worked sunup to sunset doing concrete work. He did that for 2 years. He said he didn't want to think about love just work until he was so tired all he did was eat sleep and work. I missed my carefree openhearted son and it hurt to see him bitter and suddenly so cynical----he softened with time but he definetly was changed. My son who passed away actually asked to move back home when his long term relationship stopped working--he said he needed to be with family so he could resist temptation and stay strong as he loved her but knew it wasn't working---he was afraid he'd get weak and call her. Actually I liked her a lot

    she just wanted her freedom to party and my son had grown past that stage--he changed and she didn't. It was no one's fault. He was always so wise and realistic about knowing himself. Save your strngth and keep fit Nancy---Son's--God love them will test you! BLESSINGS!

  • DEar Blmoon,

    Well I haven't heard anything from or about Ron yet, but something did happen that was strange and bothered me a bit.

    Ron and the boys have always been huge 49er fans, I mean we live in the bay area and they are our team, always have been.

    Ron and the boys watched all the games and even went to a few when they could, he has called or texted them during or after most games, and when they went out at Christmas time they went to a sprorts bar to watch the 49ers play.

    Well they played a major game 2 weeks in a row, my boys were so excited and even wore their jerseys all day, had friends over made a big deal out of it, they were sure we were going to make the superbowl for the first time in a long time.

    Ron never called or texted any one of the boys before during or even after the games. He hasn't even tried to talk to any of them in almost a month.

    He has been bad about being there for them, but he at least tried to talk to them once a week or so.

    Also I was wondering if you could tell me what I have to do to get him to sign the darn papers so I can breath again.

    I need this over so bad and he is just ignoring it. I don't want to end my 25 years with him in an ugly battle, there is so little left of the good stuff and I hate to loose the rest.

  • Things are not good for him right now and it's probably for the best his sons aren't aware of it .Your lawyer is not working for you or you would have had this done. You have given your power to a lawyer and have to accept that you are getting what you paid for. You have come a long way in becoming self sufficiant and this is the final hurdle. What does your free lawyer say when you tell him you want to go to court? I don't think he really wants to do that for free---you have two people who are holding you back. You say you do not want an ugly battle? But what if that is not in your best interest? You are right that it is likely that the timing will be that you will fight back at the same time he ends up with seriouse physical and emotional and financial problems---are you afraid of that? Do you sense that? Think about it---holding on to nice ideas in the past has been an issue for you and slowed you down---hanging on to how things SHOULD BE. You can't always control it. Spirit has not given EASY intructions but keeps saying---when she really wants it bad enough she will get it done. As if you really really have to be that angry. You are still holding on. It is what it is--it is ugly----he has left you and his sons and for most your marriage you shared him with another woman. You turned a blind eye---to not ruin the nice part---you hold on to that---you deserve more not less. You allowed him his freedom in finances and he betrayed you--you allowed him freedom to do pretty much as he pleased as long as he allowed you to still be a family. Now you want a "nice divorce" ---again to keep some sense of a nice reality. IT IS WHAT IT IS. You are very smart and strong when you allow it or are in fighting mode. Let go of the part you NEED to be nice and that will release you. This is not a third world country where a woman can't get a divorce. Nice is not going to slay this dragon. Use your head. Send him a text that you are getting this divorce with or without his cooperation. Tell him You have already gotten a consulation with another lawyer which he will be paying for should he decide not to sign the papers. Tell him hiring the family friend was meant to save you both money but it is clear he is not grateful but taking advantage of this civil gesture. Tell him that once again being nice to him has only given him another opportunity to take advantage of you.Tell him you are done waiting. And sign it NOT SO NICE NANCY. What if your sons life depended on it---I bet you'd get that divorce. Tap into that place in you that gets really angry when others treat you as if you are weak and needy. I know you are not---so what holds you back? FEAR. Are you afraid--you will fight back and something bad will happen to him? What happens to him is his doing---it's his time for consequinces. You are just getting out of the way of his trainwreck and protecting yourself and your sons. BLESSINGS! I almost didn't bother to respond as THIS IS GOING TO END.

  • dear Blmoon,

    WEll today I got an email from my lawyers wife saying they want to see me n Friday morning to fill out the papers to take him to court.

    She said they have been trying to get him to respond for too long now and it is time to drag him to court and end this.

    She asked me to call him and give him a final chance to call them and respond, so I did and he was so rude and nasty to me.

    He acts like I am the cause of everything wrong in the world.

    He asked if I was close to getting married again so he can stop paying and I told him I believe only a slut would date while married and he said get over it it has been 3 years.

    I told him I am over it, but need this divorse to be final.

    He won't call or sign, so I will take him to court.

    I am affraid that I might get a judge that feels badly for him, or who is divorced himself and doesn't see the amount as fair.

    I need the amount we came up with to lead a normal life, not fancy or rich, just comfortable.

    I don't think he feels badly at all for what he has done, he is just worried about himself.

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