Mother/Daughter relationship nightmare



  • Hello all, I am new to this so forgive me if I am going about this the wrong way or something, but I was hoping someone could offer advice on my relationship with my mother. There is a long long long long history of anger and bitterness between us. As a teen life in my house was BAD. Now I am 27 years old and I live on my own. I try to avoid speaking to my mother as much as I can without severing the relationship completely. However, whenever I talk to her I end up walking away feeling down and depressed. It would be hard for me to give ALL the details here, but here is an overview. My mother is an alocholic who is very very deep in denial. She is still married to my father, and even my father discourages me from confronting her about her drinking problem. She can become very VERY vocal about her opinions, abusive and even agressive if you dare cross her or express an opinion that she does not jive with. For example, I used to attend alateen and when my mother found out she accused me of making up lies for attention. She does not agree with anything I have done in my entire life, and Im pretty sure that if you ask her, she wouldn't be able to tell you a single thing I have accomplished that she is proud of. I seriously feel that I can't take any more of her negativity, and have gone so far as to tell her (calmly) that I will not speak to her if all she will do is put me down and speak negatively, but naturally this was met with agression (she told me to stop being a baby and to 'snap out of it') So, where is the right place to draw the ine? Her negativity is harsh enough that it has at times pushed me deep into depression. Granted there are other sources for my depression as well but she sure doesn't help. There seems to be nothing I can do to please her or even have a civil conversation. It is very upsetting to me that I can't share anything at all with my own mom wether it be good or bad (if it's good, I can't get much of a reaction. She is just sort of blank, and if it's bad, I basically get a guilt overload) Is it possible to sever your relationship with your own mother for good? Or is ot better to just accept what she has to say with a deaf ear? Thanks in advance for any replies...be well everyone!!!



  • oh i feel your pain. (only exception is that my father is a drunk too). what i've found to work is to take it with a deaf ear. i've had a lot of people tell me that i need to stand up to my mom, but the plain & simple truth is i just don't want to deal with it. & the only people that it would make feel better is them. you'll just have to realize (and its very hard) that you'll never really be that close to your mom, but you can still love her & yourself.


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