Break up with Fiancee
To anyone, please...
Due to family concerns my beautiful fiance broke up with me on boxing day. I have been absolutely beside myself and hoping that we will reconcile. I have no idea how to go about this, and don't know if there's any hope... He still madly loves me and I madly love him. But right now. due to these family issues (mainly a meddling and mentally ill mother) we cannot be together. I understand that he is more upset than I am, but still am not really coping.
Is there any hope for us? He is the love of my life, the one for me... Does anyone have insight? Can I give details to help?
He is a Capricorn and I am a Virgo if it helps
Sorry to bump this guys but i'm begging for some guidance... I am so unsure as to waht to do
abetterplace last edited by
Have you taken a stand with your meddling mother? And what do you mean by mentally ill?
My point of view is not from a psychic viewpoint, it comes from a life lessons viewpoint.
When you choose a life partner that becomes the person you love, honor, cherish and cling to. He is the most important person in your life. This is also the expectation for him. Your FOO family of Origin should then become secondary to you and the decisions you make. In other words if the decision is not good for your relationship then it is the wrong decision. I am making this assertion based on a certain level of mental health for your mother.
I believe you need to determine what is your moral realistic responsibility for your mother. Is she capable of taking care of herself, is she capable of understanding boundaries, is she capable of making decisions regarding her life and life course, is she capable of understanding your needs and desires. If she is capable of these things then she needs to be made to understand that you will now marry and she will respect the marriage or she will not be a part of your life.
She could be fearing loosing you, or is jealous and doesn't want to share you. It will be hard but I believe you should talk to her mental health professional to determine what she can really handle and then decide if you can let go enough to do it.
Do you really want to plan a marriage with a meddling mother who will be making his life miserable. Talk to him and find out what he needs to have but I believe you will find he wants a wife that puts him and their relationship first..
Sending peace and healing light to you and those close to you ABP
Thank you for yoru kind words. It is my (now ex )partners mother, who my psychologist believes is either sociopath or borderline bipolar, with OCD. She has huge mood swings, and believes by controlling her son she loves him. She menatlly abused him all his life, and then told him he could neverf again see his family unless he ended his relationship with me. She did this from jealousy that their family admired me, and that I was a good person who her son loved more than anything.
My DP is now very confused, believes he has made a mistake but doesn't know how to fix things. I am banished from their family home, thanks to the mother. I am unsure as to whether he will find a solution and our relationship will again flourish and am hoping that I can get some guidance. I had a tarot reading done the other night whch shed a little light, but also left me quite confused.
abetterplace last edited by
That is a really tough place to be in. The words and advice remain the same but it is him that must make the decision. Perhaps you can suggest he see an individual councilor. The choice to give up your family to marry is no small act. He must become very comfortable with his choice.
His mother of course will continue to use the tools she has used all of his life. They have worked very effectively for her and she has practiced them for years. He must make the choice to find the strength to be his own person. The strength to let go of his guilt for daring to love another and for reaching for happiness.
You know all of this as you are talking to a psychologist. Take the time to think about the situation Is this what you want for your entire life as the drama could well continue.
I will continue to send love and healing light and hope you find the answers you need. The answers are out there, have faith. ABP