Captain, Watergirl ex husband and ex boyfriend now hanging out - help!



  • Hi,

    I wrote about a month ago about my Pisces ex boyfriend (3/4/64) who can't seem to let go and has basically been stalking me (11/22/68) via phone, text, & email for the past 2.5 months. I have told him repeatedly in no uncertain terms that he needs to leave my family and me alone yet he continues to contact me daily. I finally spoke to him yesterday briefly because he wanted to pick up some things that he left at my house and I wanted to make sure he came when no one was here. He asked me if it was definitely over between us and I said it was. He said he was sure we were meant to be together and would I give him another chance and I said no. He asked if I would see him when he picked up his things this week and I also said no. It was a calm conversation and seemed that while he was sad he was finally accepting the fact that I meant it was over and that he would leave me alone. Today I felt better, and actually a bit sad myself for him because it was never my intention to hurt him, but I also finally felt relief like the pressure was lifted.

    That is until my kids came home tonight from their weekend with my ex. It seems that my ex husband (5/26/68) called my ex boyfriend this morning and invited him and his kids to go bowling today, which then expanded to hanging at my ex husband's house and then later to include dinner at my ex husband's sister's house (who is not a fan of mine nor I of her) with his mother and her husband. Keep in mind that while cordial to each other my ex husband and ex boyfriend were NOT friends and only knew one another casually through me. My kids did mention to me last week that their dad had called my ex boyfriend with them on Christmas Eve (his idea, not theirs) and in the conversation had alluded to bowling together sometime soon. Surprised and concerned, I immediately emailed my ex boyfriend and told him to please not answer any further communication attempts from my ex husband and definitely not to see them. I didn't bother saying anything to my ex husband as he loves to push my buttons and knowing it bothered me would only encourage him.

    So I sit here feeling really confused, angry, violated and frankly a little scared. While I don't think he's dangerous, I definitely feel my ex boyfriend is unstable - why in the world would anyone drive an hour to hang out with the ex husband of their ex girlfriend when they are not even friends and then hang out all day with him - especially after I specifically told him not to? I cannot even comprehend this and basically just feel sick to my stomach. My ex husband got engaged on Christmas day to a woman my kids are not crazy about, and my babysitter mentioned that they fought all last night after the kids were asleep, though she did not know about what because she does not speak English well, and then they barely spoke to one another this morning and then she left on a business trip. I thought nothing of that until I learned about this. Wonder what she would think of it all...

    Anyway I am at a loss as to what to do here. I still have his stuff in my shed and feel like burning it rather than handing it over. I called him after the kids were in bed because I was so angry but he never answered. Now I am glad he didn't since I know contact with me is what he really wants. I plan to write him a formal email stressing that he not see my children anymore without my permission or I will seek a restraining order.

    Should I be worried here? Why would the Pisces deliberately do this and will he ever just leave me alone? And why is my ex husband so caught up in my stuff when he should be planning his wedding? He can't seem to leave me alone either - just a month ago he showed up in the early am at my house with the kids when he caught wind that I might have a "friend" over and he has occasionally done that previously as well. I just want some guidance as to what is really going on here and whether you see it becoming a bigger problem and if so what I should do about it. Thanks in advance so much!



  • Actually, me ex boyfriend is 3/4/65...



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  • Would you like any outside help or advice with this? I see you have reached out to specific forum members.



  • Any and all thoughts are welcome. Thanks in advance!