Bewildered by Taurus male behavior
libracharm last edited by
I'm new to this forum so Hello everybody. Your replies to others seem to have some bearing so I hope you can help me out here too. I'm sitting here alone at the computer because my love of my life has made yet another tactless crude comment towards me and I took offense to it - Now he's sulking and avoiding any contact with me.
I'm Libra and he's a Taurean male. We're in our 50's and been in a relationship for 7 years. At first our relationship sparked. Everything was perfect so to speak. Lost my job 3 years ago due to outsourcing and since then I feel like our relationship has plummeted southward. His behavior is nothing like when we first met. He has a dry sarcastic sense of humor (which I like) but since losing the job, he's turned this humor on me. He complains about everything, insults me, makes crude innuendos when he wants me (certainly not the romantic man I fell in love with). He treats me like I'm his wh***. I hate head games but he likes to play head games and I was never the target until I lost my job. Conversing with him has become a chore. I refuse to provide him with any info about my past when he asks, because all he wants to do is use it and throw it up in my face and tease me. If I try to have any other conversation with him he's like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory, cuts me off and says the conversation doesn't interest him. When I try to talk to him about his behavior and how it hurts me, he cops an attitude and sulks big time. I know he loves me ( I see signs here and there) but I don't feel loved any more and it's getting harder to love him back.
His ex-wife hurt him terribly. She just took the kids and up and left him - no warning. so now he's avoiding any serious commitment. At one time I was interested in marrying him but not anymore. His kids are pushing marriage and I wish they would just leave it alone. It's definitely not helping the situation. From the stories he's told me about her, He says he's not, but I feel like he's trying to mold me into their relationship that they had.
He used to take equal responsibility - now he takes no responsibility. He blames me for everything. I even feel now like everything wrong in our relationship is my fault. I have no self esteem anymore and I don't feel attractive thanks to his comments. Forget any kind word from him, it's like pulling teeth. I haven't been able to find a job and now the change in him is making the my depression worse. "Happy" pills don't even work.. Although I'm in a good mood until he comes home. He makes one thoughtless comment "trying to be funny and cute" and all I want to do is slap him. It sets me off and go to arguing with him. I try hard not to nag him but I'm human and I know it's not helping so I try not to.
He claims I don't love him and I can understand why he feels that way. His behavior is pushing me away emotionally and physically and I try not to show it but it's hard. I know he's going through some kind of thing cause he sleeps all the time and claims he has narcolepsy. He won't go to a doctor.
I do love him and I want to save our relationship but I'm stymied. Can one of you Taureans tell me what could possible be going on? Thanks.
Taurus57 last edited by
I am a Taurus woman with Libra rising and Cancer moon also in my 50's. I've read your comments regarding your Taurus man and although I'm not psychic or a tarot reader, I came away with feeling like the problem/issue is that your particular Taurus man appears to be concerned about finances. Since this change in his behavior began right after you lost your job and you have not yet found another (perhaps you are receiving unemployment compensation and I might add working hard to find employment) he may feel that in some way you may not be able to contribute as much as before, therefore, requiring him to put more of his income into the household. This could also be why he refuses to take equal responsibility - he maybe thinks because you're not working and contributing as much as before, that what he is now doing is more than enough. Again, I do not know your financial situation, but I know that Tauruses are very concerned with financial stability and this can become all consuming. Does not make his behavior and unkind comments toward you acceptable, however. This could also explain a great deal about his past marriage. I'm confident you're aware that there are always two sides to everything. If his former significant other was a "stay at home" mother/wife or did not "earn" as much money as him, he may have become so overbearing that she wasn't contributing enough or was spending too much money on the children, etc. This could explain why she appeared to just "up and take the kids and leave". She probably tried to work with him, but he, like he does with you, turned it around on her, until finally she had enough and planned her "escape". Don't know this for certain, just throwing ideas/thoughts out there.
As for a resolution -- I can personally attest to the fact that finding gainful employment after age 50 is nearly impossible. After 2+ years of being unemployed myself and enduring multiple cases of both age and gender discrimination, I have just recently returned to work. Thankfully, it is in my field, but it took a long time and much effort to obtain this position, so I know and fully understand your plight. I am sorry for your situation, as I know how difficult it must be -- especially when there is no moral support at home. Some people who are fortunate enough to have a job just do not have any idea how demoralizing it is to be unemployed long term. Perhaps they've never experienced such a thing and or it was so long ago, they forgot how it feels.
As for your situation, take care of yourself. I know it is really difficult to live with someone who appears to have no empathy for your situation and begins to almost become your enemy, but you have to find a way to mentally shut that stuff out and find something to make yourself happy. Once you are able to lift your spirits and begin to have a more positive outlook on yourself, things will begin to change. Perhaps there is a local group of some sort you can join (free or very low cost membership, of course) where you can get away and find some positive connections. Who knows, it could just lead to a job! Just a thought.
Anyway, take care and hope this gives you some insight. I would suggest talking to your man, but from your story, it appears he is not open to communication and just would put it all back on you. This is very sad, as communication is a vital part of a happy and fulfilling relationship.
Blessings and light,
shadowmist last edited by
welcome to the world of the taurus male Libracharm. I am basically in your situation kinda freaky lol anyways after being unemployed for almost 3 yrs I did find a parttime job but my taurus still complains I send out resumes and make calls but according to him it is not good enough (his selfish nature it is all about him) enter his mother who comes and stays with us and all heck breaks out It is like he is 16 yrs old & seeking approval
find the thread I need taurus insight there is alot of info there that might help you
shadowmist last edited by
taurus57 you are probably right about his wife leaving, I have been with my taurus for 12yrs & I am fed up. I have a couple of friends that are trying to help find a new place that I can afford for me & my son. and I did tell my taurus to stop acting like an a@@ so far not much change from him
Taurus57 last edited by
Sorry to hear you too have been affected by job loss and long term unemployment. As I mentioned in my post to Libracharm, for me it was a long hard road and very scary most of the time. I have fared better than some and worse than others. Makes me ill just to think about it, as I am in the financial field. Anyway, once I am "back on my feet" financially and get a few paychecks under my belt, I'll be saving every penny I can to rebuild my once perfect credit and my savings. I'm also going to start a small unrelated side business (have not yet determined what exactly) and save everything I can from that as well.
Unlike you and Libracharm, I am single, which sometimes can be a blessing, but must admit can get very lonely at times. I just wish some people could see both sides or at least some of the other person's side a little. I mean, maybe Libracharm's Taurus man was grossly taken advantage of by the ex-wife, maybe not, but just because a past situation was not good, does not mean the current one is bad as well. This man has known and lived with Libracharm for 7 years -- he should know her pretty well by now, I'd think. If she were irresponsible or just there for his money, he'd probably of seen that long before now.
As a Taurus woman who has pretty much been on my own most of my adult life and was once married to an abusive alcoholic who could not hold a job, I can certainly understand the frustration of being with someone who is irresponsible. It is very irritating and makes it really hard to tolerate on a long term basis. After 4+ years of trying to make it work with him, exercising patience and understanding (Libra rising), it became unbearable (that along with his starting to physically abuse our small daughter -- slapping a 2 year old for not using her napkin! - Give me a break! - as well as multiple infidelities), I had enough and left him. He went on to marry another woman and have 3 other children, but my daughter learned a long time ago from her own experience, just what her dad is. Today, she has nothing to do with him, which is his loss as she is a wonderful young woman and mother. Anyway, I digress. Based on your comments along with Libracharm's, you two ladies certainly do not appear to be irresponsible! Just two more people who have been affected by job loss and long term unemployment.
Shadowmist, it is sad when relationships break up -- especially over money and finances. However, as I mentioned in my post to Libracharm, when communication breaks down and the other person is closed minded and can only see one side (theirs), then it makes it nearly impossible to find a truce and begin to mend the relationship. Sometimes, the only alternative is to leave and get away from each other. Sometimes, that actually can help the other person realize what they're missing and begin to see the other person's side. Hopefully, your man will "wake up" and realize, before it is too late what he's about to lose. If not, then I understand your needing to do what you can to remove yourself and child from that toxic and unhappy situation.
Best wishes to both you and Libracharm for a speedy resolution and a bright future for a great job and happiness.
Blessings and light,
Taurus7 last edited by
Darlin, I am a 43 yo Taurus woman who was married to a Libra man d=for over 20 years. While there were times that our relationship was great, there were just as many if not more times that are relationship was horrible. We just did not mesh. Ever. The times we were at peace was bc I held my tongue.
He hurt me severely, yet, it did not hinder my relationship after him. Why? BC I knew who hurt me and who did not. Taureans can be A@@holes. I know this 1st hand. If he has not woken up by this time and point in his life, i doubt he ever will. Not trying to be a jerk, but facts are the facts. His behavior tells me you deserve so much better.
Do NOT continue to cast your pearls before swine......move on and find that place or man in your life that is true and real.
Taurus7 last edited by
And, can I just say this, not to you, but to all women...if a woman ups and leaves the man, trust me, there is good reason........seriously. That tells me that she had enough! Why is it that we women pit ourselves against one another instead of learning from each others journeys?????