Relationship advice 10-25-80 HELP!!!!!!!



  • My birthday is 10/25/80 & his is 02/19/66. Here lately we have been having major problems. One of the main issues is we are both out of work & rent is still due. We have 2 children & 1 on the way. We met December 2001. He is about 5'9, light complected, bald head, handsome black man. He also has been threatening to take me off the lease and lying about another cell phone he got without sharing the number with me. Can you please tell me what's going on and how will our realtionship workout for the best? What do you suggest/advise I do?



  • The two of you are very different to each other, and friendship here usually works better than love. Yet the energies here are normally free-flowing and natural, with the two of you fitting together like hand and glove. But as easy as the relationship can be, it often engages in difficult or even impossible tasks. This relationships gives to you two something you lack as individuals - vision and the pragmatism to achieve your goals. When you work together and stay practical, you can solve any problem. But if you drift apart as you seem to be doing now, solutions will be harder to find. Having a common goal or objective is necessary here, for you two together can be quite formidable in a way that can arouse jealousy and antagonism from others. Without a cause or purpose to which to devote yourselves however, your love affair or marriage can show a wide difference of opinion which can lead to struggle, despite the ease with which you two communicate. The sensuality between you can be pronounced, yet you Ama can get on your partner's more sensitive nerves at times, and he in turn may try to force you to tone down your outgoing side (as in threatening to take you off the leash). As a result, frustrations can build up on both sides. The key to success here is for both of you to show more interest in the relationship itself, approaching it with the same fervour you would give to your more idealisitc or objective pursuits. Don't take your relationship for granted. Keep your feet on the ground and don't get carried away by ideals. Work together to achieve your goals - you are much stronger as a team. Together you can forsee the trends and ways of the future.

    Your partner is on the Aquarian-Pisces cusp which makes him one of the most difficult characters in the zodiac to live with, because the signs of Aquarius and Pisces are so opposite. Sometimes he can be the kindest, most generous, and sympathetic person - then at other times he will be cold and mean and unhelpful. He can also be flaky and distant. He has big fears of being lied to or cheated on, to the point where he might not believe anybody or anything and may even become faithless himself because of it. He feels less and less sexually attractive as he ages, and needs to prove his sexuality. You yourself have a rather fatalistic fear that just when things get good, they may all fall down or be taken away again, that you may be abandoned at any minute. You need to be more hopeful and upbeat and remind your partner that he is a desirable man. In other words, try to put more life and interest into your relationship because by being a good tight team, you will solve all your problems. Your chidlren need you to stay close and strong.

    Good luck and blessings to you!



  • Thank you so much for responding to my post. I understand you may very busy answering many questions. So, I thank you. Your advise is greatly appreciated.



  • I always have the time if you need it.



  • PS. One of my sisters shares the exact same birthdate as your partner so I know how difficult they can be!



  • Well thank you. Thank you very much. I do have serious issues in this "relationship." He friends different women on FB and he much rather go online to chat with virtual women, and ex's/old flings than to talk to me. He also has been sleeping on the couch for nearly a year and refuses to come to the bedroom (unless he has a little liquor in his system and HE wants to have sex). He also denies me of any affection; no hugs, no kissing, and definitely NO SEX!! I love him and I thought that he loved me, but I am really unsure these days. Especially due to my weight gain after the second baby and no time to lose it because I got pregnant 5-6 months after having my second child. I am very emotional, and just need to know what I should believe or not. I am very jealous that he talks to other women. I hate being that way, but can't help it. More advise if you have any......



  • Ama, these cusp people are not really 'people' people' so I doubt your partner is doing anything more than long distance flirting with other women simply to prove he's still 'got it' - in reality, he would probably run a mile if he met them face-to-face. He also has problems with daily life and dull routine - if you can find some way to liven things up or do things that are unusual, different or out of the ordinary (especially in the bedroom), you will recapture his interest.



  • The thing is, he won't even come to the bedroom. I don't know what his problem is lately. But he starts arguments deliberately. He turns small things into MAJOR issues. Why is that? I have tried so much. Even gone to the point in going to adult toy parties and purchasing different products. He is determined to having a "threesome." I wouldn't mind, but whose to say things will change with him & his attitude? That's just like giving my 3 year old what he wants when he throws a tantrum. I believe he is upset that he has so much education but no job/career. So he is frustrated & the only person he can take it out on is me. That sucks.



  • The deliberate arguments and major issues are his way of justifying his flirting with other woman and bad behaviour - if he puts YOU in the wrong, he feels better about the wrong things he does.

    He needs some creative or active outlet for his frustrations since he is out of work - does he have a hobby or sport he can pursue?



  • No hobbies. He does go to school full time, & recently got a new job. So hopefully him starting this new job will change his bad behaviors. That & I just had a dream. I dreamt that I was in a nail shop, & one of the ladies which he used to contact & still may w/o my knowledge because he has his "secret phone", was there & decided to try & hold a conversion w/ me. I didn't say much. I just looked @ her like she was crazy. Also, this is the same scenario that happened a girlfriend of mine just 2 days ago. Why am I linking myself w/ a replica of her actual story? Thank you again for your advice.



  • Because it triggered your secret fear that your partner is still hooking up with women.



  • Thanks again. But I just woke to another. In this one he admitted his infidelity. What do I do? I also am pregnant. Might that have something to do with my crazy dreams? & he refuses to sleep in the bed with me & instead the couch. We've had sex 3, maybe 4 times since the night we conceived. Might that also be a reason for my dreams/emotions due to hormones & lack of sex??



  • No, bad dreams come from the subconsious mind and our fears and stresses, not from our physical body. You doubt your partner but don't like to consciously confront him for fear of him leaving you, so it bothers you when you sleep and is reflected in your dreams. You need to deal with this when awake or you will have some troubled nights..