AstraAngel..desperately need your help
Happy new year to you. I read the reading you have done for other people and was wondering if you could do one for me as I'm stuck desperately with no idea what to do. Here goes,
there are 4 people involved in this- me (13/04/1988), guy i love(05/07/1984), girl A (15/02/1983), his fiancee back home (19/10/1988) (not sure about the year might be one off).
so the situation is that i live with him, i love him since 2 years now, he knows about my feelings very well but keeps sending out mixed signals. I fought a lot with him last year over the amount of attention girl A gets but he would always tell me that he is just having sex with her and that it is nothing serious plus at this time there were a couple of other girls he was seeing as well so i was always under the impression that what he has with her and others is not any deep connection but he has that only wih me. But since october 2011, things started changing and he started getting exceptionally close to girlA so much so that he got into a relationship wit her in december. He denies this to me and has not come out officially with this to anyone. we are still intimate but these days i feel like there is a huge distance between us. If i try to get his attention he becomes very abusive and starts comparing me wih this girlA :(( why would he do that when he never behaves me with like how he does with her?
If he did behave that way everything would be perfect. i overheard him telling one of his friends that he is going to marry her for some motive of his but he is already engaged to this other girl which he tried to break but his parents wont let him. what am i to do? all i want is some appreciation from him..few words of love some care and concern..m very lonely and distance between us is growing after his budding relationship with girlA. i dont ike her at all as she seems to be very manipulative.
I cannot move out right now because if i do he will mark that i left him when he was in trouble ad we will neevr be the same again.. what is in it for me? i love this guy so madly..sacrificed so much for him and after assuring me that he would never get seriously involved with anyone he gets involved with her. is he in love with her?
How should i behave with him to make it work well? what should i do that draws him closer towards me?
is it too late? i miss the presence of someone in my life. my love life is down the drain completely! i keep comparing everyone with him ad i am cmpletely head over heels in love with him.
Also i made the mistake of confiding this to one of my friend who blurted thos out to girla's ex bf and this guy found out and was very very angry and says that i backstabbed him though that was not my intention at all. even though this happened in november and i thought we moved past this..it was just yday him telling me how girlA never says anyone how badly he behaves! for surely she must tell her close friends just that they are not dumb like mine to blurt it out.
I know i am yung and immature and completely lost..I dont know what to do..I have so many dreams associated with this guy. There is pain i can take anymore :((
Sorry for a terrifyingly long post. I hope you understand me xx
Okay. You have a very complicated love situation on your hands. Maybe I'll do a reading about you and this guy, and then you tell me if I answered all your questions?
1. General situation - PAGE OF CUPS, EIGHT OF CUPS REVERSED, SIX OF CUPS REVERSED.
From the beginning here, we see you, the page (or princess) of cups showing deep affection and love for the fish in the cup. You are a truly emotional person, who has already given so much time and effort into this man. It's obvious that you adore him so very much. The eight of cups tells us that either both or one of you is feeling very hopeless, and is very confused about this situation. You both aren't sure at the moment where things are headed. It is a very difficult time for you both in your emotional state. And finally, the six of cups here tells us that past events are still affecting this relationship. One or both of you are still struggling to let go of fond memories, or still can't understand why certain things didn't work out. this is causing a real problem between the two of you. It's important that you both look forward at this time.
2. How this guy feels about you - SEVEN OF WANDS, KING OF PENTACLES.
Similar to the Five of Wands, the Seven of Wands indicates a struggle after initial satisfaction and fulfilment. It is evident here that this guy is going through some sort of battle, whether emotionally or mentally. he's stifling to understand how he feels, or what he should do at this moment in time. Not sure if this gives any clues as to what he feels for you, but if he's worrying about you so much, he must feel something there. However, the king of pents tells us that he won't reveal this to you easily. He is slow, and takes a lot of time to consider decisions, or take action against something. That being said, I do think that he feels something for you, but he needs more time than necessary to process everything. For he doesn't want to hurt anyone in the process of understanding his feelings.
3. How you feel about him - TEN OF WANDS, THE HIGH PRIESTESS
It's obvious from the ten of wands that this guy has caused you a lot of hardship. You are having a hard time holding up those ten of wands he's put on your shoulders. You can't take the pressure, or the stress that he has brought into your life. it has caused you to become unstable in so many ways.
However, through the high priestess, I know that you know exactly how you feel about him. You are very in tune with your emotions, so you must feel so strongly for him that even if he does put those ten of wands upon you, you are not willing to drop them, because you care for this man far too much to hurt him like that (even though those wands are hurting you!).
4. Obstacles to a relationship with this person - THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
There are too many things left unclear in your relationship. Neither one of you knows what's going to happen, and the uncertainty is really affecting your relationship. In order to overcome this, you both must understand that the universe works in mysterious ways, and that you cannot control your destiny at times. however, the wheel of fortune does contain it's own set of luck. that being said, i would say to stop worrying so much about the outcome of this. it's causing extra anxiety for the both of you. instead, stay positive, for the wheel will provide you will all the strength and luck you will need to stay in the present, and not worry about the future. (or maybe he's wishy washy and doesn't communicate with you for days? you tell me).
5. Outcome/advice (is this person for you?) - THE SUN REVERSED, THE CHARIOT.
This reversed sun indicates that at this time, it's hard for you to see the light in the relationship. you can't understand what's happening, or why it's happening to you. however, the chariot is a good sign when it comes to relationships. you both WILL move forward in a positive direction with your relationship. It's not clear however if this relationship will become the one you want it to be. You must think hard about the possibilities of that. It is not yet time for the universe to reveal what is to become of your romantic relationship.
Any other questions?
ASTRA I posted on our long thread I hope you'll take a look at it. I did a small reading for you!
omg DaniBo! you are amazing!! you nailed it dead right about my feelings for him. It uncannily accurate. i am the one who is having trouble letting go of fond memories here. Sometimes i do feel he cares about me but tries hard not to show it but then i really dont know what to make of all the hurtful things he tells me which gives me the impression that he thinks very badly about me. If i try to pull away he keeps expecting me to do things for him which if i dont lead to more unpleasant arguments.
I also agree with the obstacles in the relationship bit. It is all unclear..so much uncertainty that it kills me.
Last year in 2011 summer when my friend did a reading for me she had told me that we will come to an end within 18 months which coincides exactly with his budding relationship or whatever with this girlA.
also last few days whilst waiting for your reply , i was being really nice and positive towards him so i have been feeling good from inside but i do not know how long would this feeling last.
I really want to know that am i significant enough to him| more than this girlA? is he in love with her? because if he really is in love with her and if they are soulmates or anything i would infinitely prefer to remove myself out of his life be it on good terms or bad.
Also i am guessing that the outcome advices that i should be positive towards him and not show my jealousy about this other girl and be very calm, right?
I am still not sure if i should give up hope on him and as i could not still understand that his 'feelings' are romantic or just what a good friend feels for another?
thank you very much for the reading..i think i might have some more questions given the mess i have managed to land myself into. your patience and gift is much appreciated. Thanks so much again.. x x x
P.s - yes he is wishy washy and sometimes doesnt communicate very well at all especially when something bad happens that upsets him. i have never been able to understand why would he withdraw from me, act moody with me but go out and act like the most social person in front of everyone else including his other close friends!
1. Are you significant to him? - SEVEN OF WANDS, SEVEN OF SWORDS
There needs to be acceptance with this card that you are not always going to be able to win everyone over. There will always be challengers and opposition to your point of view and you cannot keep everyone happy all of the time. Thus, now is the time to draw your line in the sand, and say, “This is who I am and this is what I need right now.” There cannot be any compromise or negotiation at this time, just hold your ground with determination and courage. That being said, he's accepting that sometimes, he can't always get what he wants with you. I see this as him caring for you, but not knowing how to handle it sort of thing.
2. Is he in love with girl A? - KING OF SWORDS REVERSED, TEN OF CUPS
The King of Swords reversed can suggest the misuse of one’s mental power, authority, and drive. The reversed King of Swords represents manipulation and persuasion in order to fulfil selfish needs. He is a very intelligent older male (or sometimes female) who likes to show off to others about how smart he is by using big words or talking about topics about which no-one else knows. He may also be very cutting in his words, critical of others, and stern in his manner. This card may represent a person in your life or even yourself. You need to be wary of this type of person because, although he/she may be charming and intelligent, they can do only harm. They have only their personal interests in mind and will do whatever they can to achieve these interests, even if it means stepping on others. That being said, he doesn't know how he feels because he either thinks she's manipulating him, or that he's just using her. However, the ten of cups does indicate happiness. He does obviously feel happy having her around, he's just not absolutely sure what he feels at the moment.
Seems like he's confused about everything! I think you should remain calm, be friendly with him, and then see what he does. Keep hope. these cards don't indicate he's in love with her, but he does have some feelings for both of you. keep testing the waters.
any other questions?
Thanks DaniBo your reading seems to describe my situation very well but i'm still very very confused and uncertain. He cares for me but does not love me. is he attached to me in any way as in would he miss me when i am not around? are his emotions and inclination stronger towards me than this other girl? Why if he cares for me he is so mean towards me?
If he has feelings for both of us why does he spend most of his time with her and got into a relationship with her? he spent all the december holidays with her, the new years and will also spend valentines with her, he frequently takes her out for dinner and stuff. All this is very painful for me to deal with. It haunts me so much that i get bogged down and it is hard to keep hope.
Generally, do you see any love or any good news coming my way at all this year in any aspect of my life? i had the worst year of my life in 2011. I am almost on the verge of giving up on everything :(( Thanks again for all your time and patience x x
Why if he cares for you is he so mean to you? - KNIGHT OF WANDS
The Knight of Wands is an ‘act first, think later’ type of guy. He is impatient and impulsive, with a love for action. The downside to the Knight of Wands is that while he is bursting with energy and enthusiasm, he has a tendency to rush into things without much consideration for the consequences of his actions. He sets off on his journey in haste and often fails to have a clear plan of attack and this may negatively impact his chances of longer-term success. He is so focused on being the best and of fame and glory that he almost forgets to plan ahead and to keep sight of reality. The Knight of Wands can also come across as aggressive and overly ambitious. He is highly insistent even if others stand in his way, criticise him or challenge him. This being said, I don't think he realizes how much he is hurting you by his actions. He rarely thinks about how he makes other people feel. Maybe you should talk to him about it?
Why does he spend most of his time with her if he cares for the both of you? - SEVEN OF WANDS
The Seven of Wands can also indicate a challenge to the continued success of a venture or creative project from an external source. While it appears to block your path forward, you can overcome this challenge or obstacle by drawing upon your strong self-confidence, self-belief and continual self-improvement. It can also be overcome with effort and clarity of purpose. He is still trying to figure things out here. He is having conflicts with his emotions, or he's having trouble motivating himself to say that he wants to spend time with the both of you. Something is blocking him from doing so. Not sure what it is.
What does love hold for you in 2012? - ACE OF WANDS
The Ace of Wands is a sign to just ‘go for it’. This highly action-oriented card sees you feeling incredibly inspired and enthusiastic about pursuing a new idea or project that you have in mind. This year, you will have some pretty special things headed your way, if you open up your heart to them. Don't worry. 2012 won't hurt you as much as 2011, it will bless you with wonderful love!
All wands for you tonight. Wands are VERY fast, so be expecting things to happen quickly!
You are so right about things working out fast. :(( No matter how happy ad cheery i project myself I can just feel him getting away...hardly we are intimate now :(( he keeps making one excuse or the other.
I have openly discussed my feelingd and asked him not to treat me like this or talk about what he does with other girls to me but in the end he abuses me and twists the argument to blame me and compares me to everyone else and says i will never be good as any of them.
It is really like fighting a losing battle isn't it?
At the moment i am so hurt that i cannot ever i believe open myself to love again anyone so selflessly.
How can this guy care or have feelings for me when he openly gets the girl here in this house where we live and spends time with her but nevr does anythng with me in front of her or anyone. Sometimes i really believe i have been taken advantage of and used by this man so much yet he blames me and NEVER appreciates a single thing i do. I am beginning to get depressed again..all my cheery outlook i started beginning of this year is going slowly and by valentines day i will be at the lowest in my life ever :((((
infact sometmes i really consider confronting him with all his lies with proof and telling him everything how i feel ..how selfish he has been etc etc..like burn all the bridges and walk out of the house find another place to live even if that works out much much harder but i don't know if the time has come yet to burn that bridge or not because if there is still some hope of this working out i would regret walking out right at that point!
I apologize I didn't get around to your reading I have been dealing with my own personal life changes that has my presence here kind of sporadic lately. You are in good hands with DaniBo... she is a wonderful reader! And I and sending you positive energy and encouragement... keep looking up everything will work out... love, astra
Thanks Astra for your best wishes. I hope I am able to feel happy again.
Just bumping this up
Bumping this up again
I will try and give you some comfort and guidance as best as I can... I haven't read every word of this thread yet however I am going to piggy back on the wonderful counsel that DaniBo has given you and see what I can add to her help...
Basically it sounds like you have a relationship (if we can call it that) with a guy and he seems to be hurting you with his behavior with other females. So, you are trying to decide what to do, Move out or stay put in hopes of something turning around. Is that the basic idea?
In this reading you will be the Queen of Cups.
1. The Hierophant - Pulling down heavenly wisdom for your life. This is what is going on within. Though on the surface you feel like your world is shaky with him, the reality is your are developing some powerful internal reserves from Heaven and Spirit. So, you can be very proud of yourself for keeping a calm, peaceful presence while these energies are buffeting you. So hold on, you will get through this!
2. Four of Cups - well, this clearly shows your present state of mind, feeling like love is not exaclty working out the way you hoped. The cups in front of you are not exactly measuring up to what you long for. The good news is that there is a heavenly Cup of love being offered and all you have to do is close your eyes, and reach up with your heart and receive something a little more divine, while the present situation is troubling you materially. Keep your eyes looking UP not down on this guy and his antics.
3. Four of Swords - Time to get quiet sadAries time to get quiet. Close the door for a while on this relationship, find a quiet corner even if you have to go to the library and close your eyes and whisper to Heaven and your angels for assistance. Hug yourself, reach upward and pull down calming energies as you seek to find your center again. Be at peace as best as you can, rest, rest, rest from these relationship issues and try to let it all run off you like water off a duck's back.
4. Knight of Pentacles. Well, someone is out there for you and I can't tell you who or when however he is a knight and he seems wise in the ways that are actually going to he[lp you. So hang in there something better is coming. Maybe your current guy will turn into a Knight of Pentacles however right now he sounds like the Knight of Nonsense, so I would hope for BETTER to some your way while you focus on Spirit above really hard, okay?
5. THE LOVERS - Yep. Something better coming for you for sure, and it starts by loving yourself enough to break away from the situation you are in and treat yourself like a queen. LOVE YOU, and don't let your situation rob you of loving yourself. YOU are the best friend you will ever have.
6. Advice for now - should you move seems to be a concern - Three of Swords sounds like as heartbreaking as your present situation is, I am not getting a sign here to run yet.
7. Four of Pentacles - sounds like hold yourself, close the door if you have to, stay sweet as best as you can, guard your heart as you wait for something new to develop.
8. Ten of CUps - MUCH better coming for you that is clear. For now I would say get quiet, relax, pray, recite the Lord's prayer often (THY kingdom come, THY will be done) and speak to spirit often... talk to your angels they are all around you, and you are greatly loved...
Hang in there much better days ahead okay?
Love and light
Hi sadAries. I'm not much of a card reader or anything, but I read this thread and felt like I had to say something.
I would suggest you leave this man. Its obvious he doesn't have your best interest at heart, and no matter how you feel about him or if he's having a hard time communicating what he really feels towards you, he's still taking advantage of you and has made a choice, whatever the reason, to start seeing another girl when he was still involved with you! That doesn't sound like love to me. Its in situations like these you have to stop going with your feelings and use logic. Yes, It'll be painful, but it'll be worth it in the long run. You deserve much better than what he's currently offering, which is nothing but humiliation.
Believe me, I understand. I'm a very emotional person myself, but lately, I've been thinking more about what's in MY best interest, not somebody else's, regardless what they may say or do in response. I'm going through a similar situation involving my father right now and had fears of my own of what would happen if I did just walk away (I felt guilty at the thought and believed I still had a responsibility towards him). But in the end, I HAD to make a choice. I'm not out yet, but I'm working on getting things in order so I can. I'm tired of being made to feel responsible for things that aren't my fault and cleaning up after someone who never bothers to show appreciation for what I do for them.
It isn't cruel. In fact, it could serve as a good wake-up call to this man you love so much when you're willing to stand up for yourself. If you love him, don't enable him to keep treating you like this. I keep getting this feeling that he does this to you because he's able to get away with it. I've started to push back on my father, and I think on some level he's beginning to understand he can't keep treating me the way he has, though yes, he's been starting more arguments and throwing fits because of it. Its an indication that he's losing control over me. Only recently did I bother to start taking action, and I hope you can find the courage to do the same.
You're about the same age as my little sister (she's 5 1/2 years younger than me), so immediately I felt rather protective of you. Love can be so blinding at times it makes us completely forget to take good care of ourselves, and you're not doing anyone any favors by crushing yourself like this.
Please, take care. I hope that once you make a decision, the future becomes clearer and you'll find the happiness you're searching for.
Thank you joylily for reaching out to me..i am really touched..i know how you must have felt as our situation is exactly the same..i am doing my best to bring myself out of it but at the same time i would never be able to forgive myself if i left someone who needed me very badly in trouble when they needed me the most. so m still very confused.
Astra, thanks so much for that, i kept looking at this post hoping someone would answer my questions. By monday 16th jan i will have to make a decision as we have a viewing..he is very sure that we will move together and make a home. but at the same he spends all his time with this other girl..i am afraid he is in love..Contrary to what danibo said (she was accurate about things happening very fast) and what happened last few days i really dont thinnk he cares for me even a SINGLE BIT!
But i'm still crestfallen because you said that the three of swords suggest that i should not run from the situation yet. if i dont i will end up moving again with him..this time the contract in my name and i will be trapped into this even further if things keep going the same way (like his attitude and so on).
Plus if things are going to go really deep with this other girl (his gf) then I just want to disappear somewhere for a very very very very long time..living with him is not an option at all. And just today morning i get lied by him saying he lost a lot of money at the casino trying to win some for the new house and deposit (another lie to take more advantage of me and use me more?)
I know i have so many questions but then again i have managed to land myself in such a screwed up situation. Do you think you can please tell me Astra the time frame (like within how mnay months) i would meet my knight. I could really use one. There's nothing bright in my life going on except for my job right now. is really only just using me? What's the situation between me and his new gf? Why her always???? why? :(((
Also doesn't three of swords as advice mean letting go of this situation and separating from loved ones (this guy here) even if it causes me a lot of pain misery and sorrow?