In need of help interpreting.
1. Four of Pentacles
2. Queen of Cups
3. Six of Pentacles
4. Seven of Pentacles
5. Eight of Cups
6. Ace of Pentacles
7. Five of Pentacles
8. Seven of Swords
9. The World
10 Six of Swords
Additional cards for more depth.:
Knight of Wands
Ten of Wands
Queen of Wands
Page of Cups
My question is what to do in regards to my step son,. he is beyond a difficult child and we are feeling at a total loss. Any and all feedback are appreciated! I will be happy to return the favor.
watergirl18 last edited by
He is still struggling from his parents' divorce - I am getting depression which may be displaying itself as anger or rebellion. Replace your frustration with love is a very strong message I am receiving. Is he going between the two homes? The ex-wife may be exacerbating the situation. Love, love, love and give him some time. You may want to send him to a therapist as well.
From a psychic impression the present chaos--confusion and fears will change. This is part of a pattern you will live with and get through. There is no quik fix or cure--this child will surprise you---you can't control him--will learn to manage at best. Immaturity and age are a burdon that will change. Time is healing---he is still grieving something has unresolved emotions. I see a much easier time in three years. There are still some secret wishes--he hasn't given up on the past but that will change. He has abandonment fears and small melt downs has displaced emotions that get redirected--he is not in tune with the sorce so over reacts to situations but really the energy explosions come from some other thoughts he can't connect with verbably--he's all motion and emotion. Also, it's the person who anchors him most that will unfairly get the brunt of his misbehavoiur, he feels safest with the one who offers him the most patience and can't help but abuse that ---this will peak awhile but get better and fewer episodes and he wil be more comfortable in his life--feel safe and be trusting by three years. Advice is try not to get too focused on the crises times---they will pass. This healing process comes with a lot of anger release---meltdowns. What seems scary and causes fear for him just serves him to release toxic emotions. If he can get this out now he will be done and will not have to turn it inward on himself or hurt others. Guide him away from hurting himself or others but find a balance so he can let loose in harmless ways. What he needs most is a new steady history of feeling safe--not being abandoned---once this is consistant long enough he will trust it and grow calmer. He just needs to grow up some--he's too young right now and needs his brain to catch up with his enotions. It will get better. He will always need special guidance but he will do fine. Music soothes him. He is easiliy stimulated so keep his exposure to groups and events mindfull of his comfort level. Holidays are hard on him. If you know he is going to be extra busy make sure he gets equal amounts of quiet down time. A pet he bonds with would be good but pick a pet not likely to die too soon and be strict about animal needs--it will help him to be connected if you are firm that he be aware of a pets needs---right way to hold--help him develope empathy for a pet. If it's a small pet in a cage--make a scedual for handeling and stick to it. If he holds too hard---pet gets put away. It' a way for him to be aware of the strength of his emotions---that when he is excited his touch can be too much. He will be frustrated at first but be firM without fighting and he will get it---praise him when treats pet with calm touch. He will do better and better---surprisese will pop up but he'll do fine BLESSINGS1
Wow,..you both came really close to how he is. My thoughts are that we have been fighting this battle to set him on the straight and narrow for 3 years now and we are exhausted. He seems to be getting worse, we feel he doesn't want to be here at all anymore and his mom is a hazard. We are unsure at this point if we should stay the course,. send him to a foster home for a while, or hand him over to his mother full time, or perhaps place him in an institution. We are not considering any of these lightly but can no longer live our lives like this.
watergirl18 last edited by
I don't feel that any of the 3 options you are considering will give a good result. He needs to know he is loved and sending him away will only serve to magnify his fear of abandonment and not being loved. Have you tried finding a therapist for him? This will give him a safe space to vent his anger and get to the bottom of his feelings. It would be better to fight for full custody so you can have more control over providing a stable loving environment than to give up on him. Be strong! Helping this little man find his way is part of your life's path.
He has several appointments going on right now,. he was just recently diagnosed despite my 'knowing' for a few years now. He will be having his first psychologist appointment next Tuesday.
I feel like this has been an up hill battle,. I am weary and no longer see how I can serve him anymore. Loving him feels impossible for me right now and I am unsure how to change that,. I ask for grace on a daily basis and still I am exhausted and heart broken. I understand my contract with him,.I understand I am to learn from him and then help other children...but I feel at a total loss right now. I practice reiki everyday and also have other practioner's helping me but still the course has run me ragged.
We have been fighting to end his mothers visitation ever since the start when he was taken from her by child services,. we still are but we are beginning to wonder what we are fighting for anymore,. he wants to be with her.
Thank you for all the responses,.. very much appreciate. I will do my best to stay the course and get him through his appointments best I can, sadly I no longer feel that mother-child bond with him anymore.
I so agree! In his young life the balance of structure and trauma are still forming--he needs enough structure years to believe it--he's still in the storm. AND he's too young to understand--his brain cannot talk down his feelings yet---he is not self sufficiant and that is a very terrifying place as it puts him in a position to need others too much. His anger seems scary but if safely released it helps him. Children his age under the best circumstances struggle with impulse control---action and consequince---age does make a difference. I work with children. They are little barometers of all that happens at home. We see changes in a child everytime parents fight--divorce or there's a move--a death even a new sibling. At that age consistancy is important--children need routine and will often react when anything changes--even the small stuff adults take for granted. Just a time change will affect our students for a week or two. I eally feel these outbursts are temporary and will level off. Eventially going back and forth will be his normal and his life. It is important not to talk badly about his other caretakers in front of him--of course you can't control others but you will come out ahead in the long run if you bite your tongue. I have worked with adhd children--they are each different yet have comman issues and really have a rough time between 4-5. They are sensitive sponges and can pick up fear in a caretaker and THAT makes them feel more fearfull and out of control--they need to feel an anchor near them--someone who is not easily upset by their behaviour--that's not easy. They do not do as well if their caretaker is upset as then they are in control and that's scary for them. Everything is amped up for them and their movements are explosive. Again---therE is not enough thought proces but all emotion and energy. Also, they can be manipulative by habit if they are around a caregiver who trys to give in to pleasing them to stop the tantrums--this is not good but many caretakers just want to calm them so give in and the child has no boundries. It's best to never get into a tug of war with them ---they will argue relentlessly as energy is their weapon. persistant energy. When it comes to rules the caretaker should never debate but be firm--without anger or screaming---in fact avoid eye contact and give off the energy that says firmly--it's not personal--but I will not budge. The child's brain is learning a boundry when you do that and it gives him structure. . I babysit for a woman with an adhd son and she went through many helpers who could not deal with him. I do well because as an empath and psychic and my years with children I understand energy--these children are often trapped in their own chaotic energy and they also feel others energy. It's hard for caretakers to offer the usual hugs for calming as these children often fight touching and closeness. I use environment and redirection. They often get stuck on a thought that spirils so it helps to distract them with other thoughts. A lot of distracting is hard work but better than butting heads. These children do best with a caretaker that has the alpha energy going strong----not anger but just a firm belief that they are the boss and some things are not up for negotiation. Again avoid eye contact as these children will suck you into negotiation. Also slip in concequiences as choices. Example--the child I babysit for wanted to play a wI game but refused to put on the wrist band for safety---I repeated again he needed to put that on but he again insisted no---they like to be in control---I said matter of factly ok but how about if that thing goes flying the wi game gets put away and no more for the night. Then he weighed that decision as his and said ok. He wasn't forced--he decided and his brain processed that their was a reason for a rule. They resist being told what to do. They may have odd complaints---beg for desert--get their icecream but suddenly scream it's not right--one scoop looks funny--there is no arguing over such irrational thoughts but most caretakers feel the need to make it better or argue the reality---child ends up screaming and getting more upset the more one trys reasoning. What usually works is ignoring---and making little as possable of it---act busy nearby--hear his complaint but do not make eye contact---give him some time to let out the energy as his brain is sparking----at some point you can reach for his icecream bowl and say matter of factly, well if you don't want this yummy looking treat maybe the little boy down the block will want it---usually that breaks his thought obssession on the icecream being not right to a new thought of wanting his icecream. What I'm saying is you can't deal with special needs children from emotion--you must be strong and wiser and use your head--education is your friend. Also, medication helps and it changes--the children I've dealt with grow fast and meds change as needed. Many need meds to sleep as often their daily tantrums are amplified by lack of restfull sleep. You need education. If he is in school they have those resources. Not everyone is cut out for the stress or energy required but you can learn some tips that will help you. You need an advocate----a doctor or counselour trained for special needs. Some of the better colleges have interns earning their degrees and must donate time to schools and organizations. You need help. It's not your fault you just need some education and coping skills. BLESSINGS
Thank you both for many wonderful and helpful insights
Now that routine is back on he is a different child altogether. I guess we now know what to anticipate next break from school.