In need of insight warning...involves Virgo male ... lol

  • Alright ill make this short but if more information is needed let me know. Basically me (cancer) and the virgo have been dating as in talking not bf and gf for maybe 8 months. Recently he has decided to fix himself and is going on a self journey which i understand and i believe its good for me anyways. So basically in his journey he "needs a friend right now then when finished well go from there". The midst of my own self journey i have realized that i love the guy. And its real love not that over emotional illogical love but my heart AND mind agree. Basically after realzing this i typed him an email expressing it straight forward and i just wanted some gists on what his reaction may be.

    Also the day we decided to just be friends i guess he got a little impatient with me because i was questioning he feelings for me which apparently are "mutual" according to him mind you he only knew i liked and really cared about him then. My second question is do you believe that self journey thing was just a way to let go of me without hurting my felings? Because he did also mention that he couldnt focus on himself because he was worried about what would make me happy which again confused me because whenever wed get close emotionally hed distance himself from me. Eehhh yea let me know what to expect i pressume hell read it tonight and im sooo nervous i really just want to run away from the situation but i know ignoringn him wont look good. Let me know ppl.

  • Wow EpitomeofCancer - Reading what you say here gave me goosebumps because it sounds incredibly similar to one of the final conversations that I had with a Virgo man I was involved with. Really, right down to the use of the word "focus" and the "soul searching" and his need to "fix himself" and figure out what he really wants in life. Mine also made the comment that he hoped that he hadn't distracted me from my "focus" in life. But my circumstances were quite a bit different in that he was married and so he really shouldn't have been in my life. It was a long, heart-felt struggle for me for over two years (I started the thread "The Heart of a Virgo Man", click on my screen name here and you can read the tale. Be warned though - it is a very long thread because many others have come there to explore their relationships with Virgos. You are not the only one struggling with the mysterious and frustrating ways of the Virgo male.) Mine also suggested that I just "sit tight" and we would stay in touch and in 3 months, 6 months, or "maybe a little longer", we would "go from there".

    If there is a part of you that feels you want to run away from all of this, then I would suggest that you focus on that part. What he is really saying is that he can't deal with your emotions and his needs/responsibilites or whatever else in his life, all at the same time. He can't balance somehow and this is why he pulls away. No matter what his star sign, he is a man avoiding intimacy and/or commitment. He may care about you a great deal, but what is that worth if he can not express those feelings and share them with you or live with them himself? From my experience and the stories told by others, the difficulties will escalate for you when you start feeling like an emotional yoyo. You give him your heart and he gets close and then he runs away and breaks it, then he comes back, things get better, he runs again, breaks your heart a little more. Go through this cycle a few times and it starts to get very draining if not even painful. I wish you much clarity finding your solution to this. Join us on the other thread if you would like. There are some very supportive and caring individuals there with a lot of experience with Virgos.

    I still just can't believe your words here, I am so stunned at the incredible similarities. We could be talking about the same man. No joke about that. Wouldn't surprise me that he could have had someone else in the picture besides me, although I guess it would surprise me that that "someone else" would end up on the forum, lol. What are the odds? I'm always in a quandry over whether the characteristics of Virgo men are really similar because of their star sign, or just the coincidence of a general personality trait that we women have all stumbled upon and they happen to be Virgo's. Your post certainly has me thinking here. Wow.

  • Haha that really is crazyyyy! By,ut i think instead of running away ill just leave him be and well stay friends or just go with the flow. Apparently i think hes like this because hes afraid of getting hurt as well. He definitely hasnt read the email i sent. I eas told by his close friend that he speaks of it and is afraid of what it contains. Since the last serious talk involved usvjust being friends i know him well and i am sure the disclaimer i gave prior to telling him of the email makes him uneasy and he thinks i dont want to be his friend and/or have lost the feelings i have for him. Yea i cant wait until he actually mans up and reads it lol he says he finds my emotional side attractive well see i guess.

    I will definitely look into the forum! Like now lol. Thanks fir your response.

  • ok so here come my view ... from a Virgo who has dated many Virgo men , ,,,,

    If he say's the feelings are mutual you have to take that as he feels the same as you ! but also know that they are VERY VERY reserved about sharing how they feel until they are 100% sure...

    this could take some time , ,,,

    We are perfectionists , and want to make sure its right so we don't hurt you ... and more important

    I would bet money on the fact he has been very hurt by someone at least once,,, and is very afraid of experiencing this pain again,,,,

    We may seem cool and reserved BUT we FEEL things very deeply , ,,

    Virgo is all about wanting to be loved and accepted for who we are , and about doing whats RIGHT in the situation , if he feels too much pressure about it at all he will disappear to he has time to think in quiet ,,

    WE HATE pressure , and dont like to be pushed into anything .....

    I hope this helps, : )

  • Yes! That has helped a lot. And yes has been hurt very very badly. And his last relationship with a Sag was horrible as he AND his own friends said. But yea i know him well and im giving him his space i just wish he wouldnt think the info in the email was negative i cant even be nervous about it anymore. Though my email is direct after several more days if he still hasnt contacted me ill just call and tell him over the phone. I dont want him to be scared of what it contains especially if all it says is i love him. He doesnt need to worry himself thats too much.

  • Dear EpitomeofCancer,

    Virgogirl64 you are very right about Virgos I married one. The way to get a Virgo guy is just go with

    the flow, donot pressure him, do not have preconceived ideas( because he hasnt made up his mind completely on you yet it will take quite awhile especially if he has bad experiences), do not do alot of questioning, if he is there just be happy he is there, if he is not there stop wondering why he is not doing this or doing that just accept the way he is (not unless he beats you up or has another girl) and

    lastly you have to keep yourself busy and not think of him too much otherwise you will go crazy.

    If you cant do the above then perhaps a Virgo guys is not for you.

  • Reading everyones comments above, makes me feel a little more relaxed. 🙂 I have just recently met a Virgo man, unfortunately due to the Xmas holidays, etc we didn't have much time to get to know each other. So we made the most of it. I staid at his place the last 5 days. He even asked me to spend New Year with him at his Cousins place. Hope that's a good sign. Anyway, I had a good feedback form his friends... (so he told me) Apparently, he was told that it took him 26 years to finally bring a normal girl around 🙂 Unfortunately, our time is quite short lived as he is going away for work 2mths on 1mth off. Not a good timing at such an early stage. He did tell me that he liked me, that he is a one girls man and he hoped that I could see that he is being honest. He also told me that liking me could be a problem... I guess due to the circumstances of him being away. He also got hurt previously, but haven't we all at some stage? He is leaving tomorrow and has heaps of things to do before leaving.. but hasn't called me. Apparently, Virgo men are quite focused and can kind of forget about you until they are done. I am just worried that I'll loose him before we had a fair chance. 2mths is a long time to keep something new going. Do I contact him or do I let him get in touch with me on his own terms? He did say, lets see how we go in 2mts time and he did talk about doing and showing me things when he gets back. I just wish he would give me some kind of assurance or sign that he is thinking of me... Not hearing drives me crazy. I am not needy and quite independant, and can handle being seperated from a man as long as I know ... does this make sense? Instead, I keep questioning everything that happend and was said and keep goind over it in my mind..

    Would appreciate your opinions 🙂

  • Nope lol Magickal virgos are for me or at least this one. Please comment on my other thread?

  • Honestly paco67 if you really do care for him and want an actual intimate relationship with him or even a chance to i believe you should act the same and kind of treat him like a secret crush. Dont stop talking to him because if you disappear hell follow suit. Virgos are the type to build off a strong foundation/ friendship. As long as you guys continue to blossom slowly youll reap benefits. Be his best friend who knows you dig him.

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