To My Friend AstraAngel :)



  • Thank you Astra, as soon as I came home from a long day at work (10 hours to be exact) my legs and body was wore out but I took the effort and time to make him feel special. I hung out with him and we walked around and had a little fun. When I put myself into his little shoes and the way he sees things, it helps me not be so mad because after all he is in his own little world of curiosity and wonder. I really do love him alot.

    Does he (2 year old brother) know I love him a lot?

    By the way, your painting looks cool! It is very abstract yet defined. It is very unique. You should possibly hold art shows at your house or turn your house into a work of art with paintings splattered everywhere! Or better yet how about I do a cool video with you painting :)))) Trust me I can make you look amazing (not saying that you aren't already) Great work, I would love to see alot more of it. If I ever get famous and rich, I will publicize you work, why not help a fellow great artist?

    The Busboy (The Sag I was talking about that likes me at work)-he asked me out today but in a sort of random awkward way. He kind of hesitated for the day and asked me (sort of nervously) if I could hang out with him over his family's house (his 50 year old aunt and kid cousins and nephews were there). It seemed fun but I like to have more outings before I go out late with someone I don't know to well. I told him yes but after my little "trust issue" lol I told him no but we can go somewhere else. He was okay with that and the fact that I like to take it slow (he called it waiting lol) so we planned to go to the movies. I asked for his number to keep in touch and he gave it to me with no hesitation and left.

    Being asked out made me feel great but not to know the exact nature made me feel slightly confused (I am very analytical at times). I really don't know if he really trying to get to know me (almost like dating wise) or just want to be friendly. I do like him and would really like to get to know him better but I don't to feel like I am on a date and he is just seeing this as a more friend type thing. He flirts with plenty of girls at work but does seem to respect me a little more and flirts subtly when it comes to me. I will not be jealous or act ridiculous because it seems to be in his nature (you know Sags!) but he seems like he thinks it fun to do because they are easier to. So I don't know if I am the only one.

    Does he want to get to know me (dating wise) or wants us just to be friends?

    How did he feel about me not going with him over his family's house (I did want to I just would rather do it after a few times)?

    How does he feel about me compared to other girls at the job he flirts with?



  • When would be the best time to call him and ask him out?



  • Hi Asia,

    Okay well that is really great things are happening in relationship-land... I'll take a look at your questions...

    First of all your little brother, does he know you love him a lot? yes.

    Okay, this situation with the 'busboy'...

    Does he want to get to know me (dating wise) or wants us just to be friends? Moon, sounds like romance, nighttime fun. I would say a lot more than only friends.

    How did he feel about me not going with him over his family's house (I did want to I just would rather do it after a few times)? 9 of cups - this was not an issue at all... he was really happy you showed interest and he is delighted to wait and see what unfolds. I think he appreciated the fact that you are careful about how the relationship should develop right from the beginning. That shows a lot of wisdom on your part Asis, that is great!

    How does he feel about me compared to other girls at the job he flirts with?

    8 of Pentacles, 2 of pentacles. These are all physical and work cards, I am not getting anything about feelings here. I would say he has feelings for you at least as much as any other person there.

    Hey thanks for the feedback on the artwork, it is something different. I have dreamed of a day when I could travel and paint some sketches of beautiful places. Exotic lands! Egypt! Rome! Loch Ness! ~

    I will keep dreaming... art is a delight especially when people like what you do. Thank you for the ideas that is kind.

    I'm still plugging away on the movie script, I am not sure if its really a script, or just something I need to do to get it out of my system (like self-creative therapy or something). Maybe screenwriting is a way to develop stories where you can work out some inner conflicts ? I dunno.... it has gone pretty easy, I am writing the scenes now that are still showing amidst the credits. Dialogue seems fun for me.



  • Oh and you asked about calling him back...

    looks like in the next 2 days, second day from now looks best (ACE OF SWORDS over wednesday with a risking pentacle page over Tuesday). So I would say Wednesday at 7:00 pm or so according to what I see.



  • Thanks Astra! And its my pleasure (Feedback on the artwork)-I love to help artists and help them grow/prosper. Sometimes prospering can be enhanced by feedback especially positive feedback. Why not tell them that there artwork is good and what you could work on 🙂

    You should look into screenwriting-I read screenwriting books, went to classes and live readings of screenplays (havent been to one in awhile) but if you are really into writing stories look it up-you might even like it more than writing a book. I know I did but everyone is entitled to their own passion and opinion. Good luck and blessings on your endeavors.

    Would I seem to pushy if I ask him to hangout with me?

    Does he know I like him?

    Why does he seem to be a little more quiet and aloof sometimes around me?



  • It seems as if his number just disappeared-Ive been looking for it all morning so I probably can't ask Wednesday....Will he lose interest (the next time I see him might be on Sat, Sun) if I ask him for his number again or will he be delighted?

    Also will I have to be the one to ask him out or will it be mutual?



  • 🙂 bump



  • bumpity bump bump :)))



  • Asia

    Thanks for your feedback on all of the creative stuff... yeah I do kinda like the dialogue stuff... imagining how a character will respond in a scene is a lot of fun. I finished the screen play for this one movie. I don't know what to do with it. I guess you have to find a agent or something.

    Um, you asked about your love interest...

    Would I seem to pushy if I ask him to hangout with me?

    Queen of Swords. She is authoritative. Maybe he digs that.

    Does he know I like him?

    9 of Pentacles. This is a very positive card so I would say yes for sure. Stars...

    Why does he seem to be a little more quiet and aloof sometimes around me? 6 of Wands. My guess is you really turn him on and he us watching his steps really close so he doesn't mess things up with you. I can see he respects you a lot.

    bumpity bump back to you....thanks again for the screen play encouragement it is fun for me... 🙂



  • Oh you are welcome Astra! Have you gotten any feedback on your work-thats what you should do next. After that stage, send it to a contest and/or contact an agency so they can help sell your screenplay. Trust me, plenty of screenplays that get bought sometimes the movie takes awhile to get made which is not to bad considering you still keep your money. But hey I think its better to see my vision on the big screen and keep my money 🙂

    I was planning on selling, making and distributing the films myself. I have great sales and marketing skills when my emotions don't get in the way but I will still try to sell my scripts and hopefully if and when I get the chance to, write and direct my own. I love my style but if it doesn't work out to turn that way so be it. I would have to work with the director closely.

    It seems as if his number just disappeared-Ive been looking for it all morning so I probably can't ask today....Will he lose interest (the next time I see him might be on Sat, Sun) if I ask him for his number again or will he be delighted?

    Also will I have to be the one to ask him out or will it be mutual?



  • Hey Astra! Nice to see your back again. Ive missed you 🙂

    By the way no need to answer the post above. I dropped the crush I had on him. He wasn't showing me enough signs that he was into me and felt a little embarrassed. I am a very direct person and need to know if and what is going on. Then I play games-flirt and things but its just so I know I am not wasting my time. And I felt he was a gigantic waste of time.

    All is well though, just a tad disappointed but nonetheless ok 🙂 How have you been????

    I wanted to know if the Secret Shopper job for Dolly I just applied for is legit-it seems like it is?



  • Secret Shopper job... you are hilarious!

    Okay, let's see... 🙂

    4 of Swords, that is pretty quiet, solemn and solid, so definite Yes! It is legit it seems.... good luck on it too!

    Okay on things with the person at work... I had high hopes! I am always hoping you find a perfect companion, someone you deserve. After whatever other versions of love you have experienced. Everyone deserves the real thing.



  • Awwww 🙂 Thank you so much Astra! And don't we all......

    Thats great about the secret shopper job-very different but interesting. On the busboy at work, I just don't have time for games. I am not mad at him at all or hold any grudges whatsoever against him but I let my feelings die off so then I would not take it as personally. I feel I should drop the idea of talking or dating him completely because I am not tripping all over myself for someone to show interest. I feel his ego was blown when I turned his invitation down (with good reason) and suggested somewhere else. I showed interest but just thought another time would be better-then the days or week that followed he was more distant and showed way more attention to others than to me-when I would try or leave it open for him to flirt with me he wouldn't. We had interesting conversations but I just saw it as either you like me or you don't thing and it seems like he didn't or was acting a little too weird about it.

    Can you tell me what went wrong so for future reference I can avoid this problem?



  • Oh and I have wonderful news! I am so excited. Ever since I posted my ad up in FaceBook for my videographer business I have discovered quite a few jobs but three are standing out to me the most including Working on a feature film as a cinematographer and a Production assistant for a busy producer ($500 a week)-These jobs seem the most legit and I can't believe that I reaped this many rewards applying myself that way. I feel I am going to be pretty booked.

    Does the Production Assistant job with Robert M seem legit?

    How do you feel the feature film project will go?



  • Asia

    As for the "busboy" situation, it seems to me you handles that just fine. Maybe he was wounded by you turning him down and is needing some time to "recover" before he has the guts to approach you again. So I would wait, I'm sure he'll be hitting you up again before you know it. I don't know that there is anything to learn. The learning is probably more in his side that yours. What "problem" are you wanting to avoid here?

    As for the job possibilities, yay! Sounds like things are happening for you!

    I asked about the legit question abt the Prod Asst Job and drew a 5 of swords. Ugh. Would have preferred something else. I would say BE ON YOUR GUARD and read the fine print of whatever opportunity shows up for you. I am not saying its not legit, it does sound like you should just be very alert to the details. You'll have your intuition telling you what is trustworthy or not.

    It is great that you are getting these opportunities though, that is wonderful.

    I wish I could share this movie script I wrote with you. Get your professional opinion. I guess I could post it here, however it is long. It is also a great concept (to me), a sequel to a very popular movie from the 90's. I have it casted too.

    Okay Asia, take it easy, keep me posted on ay developments with the busboy. 🙂

    astra



  • I guess it was just a problem I had within myself more than less him. I thought I came off a certain way to him but I guess not.

    You should post your script on here or send it to me via email (if we could post email up here) but what sequel is the script to?

    That PA (Prod. Assistant) job seemed like a phony after a while. I listened to my hunches but said no. I decided to go after legitimate companies and places for jobs which regardless of saying no to the phony PA job. I been having better luck with other jobs though so losing one is not so bad. To be honest I really want to quit my hostess job for now and keep focusing on my career. I think I would be more beneficial to me.



  • So I really can't go to sleep plenty of thoughts of ambition and the past. I really want to be successful in the filmmaking industry. I just wish my circumstances were different sometimes so I can enhance my chances of success. There is this one guy I follow on Youtube-I'll just call him JOP. His videos are amazing. He started out with the same camera I did a year ago and already has a dedicated base and made his way to MTV and BET with his music videos. I really want to be just like him if not greater. I just really need the time to work on perfecting my look and sound. I want this but working with the circumstances I have is not easy whatsoever. But I won't make excuses, I'll just focus on what I can do and not what I can't. I hope this attitude stays with me forever so I can end up closer to success.

    I believe my father tried to talk to me today. I haven't really got over it yet-Im still kind of hurt and don't feel he has changed that much. I just will say I will allow time to heal and I feel its best that we stay separate for now-when the day comes I will be ready to talk to him without any resentment or anger.

    I also saw my ex today on Facebook. It was funny because I have not done that in almost 2 years-So weird hahaa but he seems to be ok. Im happy he seems to be doing ok I guess. Sometimes I wish we were friends at least I wouldn't feel like such an outsider sometimes. I mean I do think of the fact, he just dropped me and never talked to me again but other people befriend their exes, or move on dating other people or at least have some contact with their ex. Sometimes it makes me wonder what is wrong with me? Why haven't any of those things happened in my ball court? Was I meant to be single or not to have someone? It hurts when I think of it this way to be honest but I have came a long way and still learning. But I can say this, least I know I dont want to be in a relationship with him anymore. Just sucks 😞 but hey All I can do is remember the good times, right? Why cry over spilled milk lol.

    Not in a bad way-wonder why my ex never cared to make contact with me again after we broke up-(Im not mad just was always curious)?

    What do you feel is best for me to work on to attract other guys?

    I want to make a few Youtube vids of my work. I want it to be amazing-How could I get it to be popular?



  • Bump 🙂



  • Hey Asia

    Okay on all that... creative people like you are on a different path than most. Your life path probably has a lot more to do with YOU becoming the creative person you are meant to be *your highest best potential * rather than getting mired in relationship issues at this stage. I see you eventually having a wonderful relationship that is an enhancement to your creative side. That may take some time.

    As for your video efforts I think you are on the right path. I would start where you are at, and don't worry about it. Just start filming and putting it out there. Good, lousy, who cares. Just share it and keep it going no matter what.

    I challenge you to post a video today on YouTube that is something original and fun you've done. Or film yourself talking. Or get the busboy to act a scene with you and film it at lunch time.

    In other words, JUST DO IT and stick it out there and be a success TODAY. You don't have to wait. Do that and you will be doing fantastic.

    I took some videos of faeries and put them on youtube. Didn't get a lot of interest though haha. I would stay away from faeries as subject matter.



  • Thanks Astra 🙂 Helped boost my ego a little bit. I think I am just in a bad mood today and get tired of really not having a close connection with everyone. I really dont call or text anyone and to be honest it has been like that for the past 2 years (since the breakup). I would love to but no one around me really talks about anything meaningful to the point I could or wish I could talk to them on the phone. I really would love to date and be in love even though it possibly would not be the right time. I just feel worthless when it comes to this aspect to be honest with you. I try to boost it. My talents and morals seems to be the only thing that keep me happy these days.

    I hate the fact its so easy for others to date or have someone interested in them but for me it seems like a curse. No guy really makes me feel attractive enough then I really do always think of the fact my own ex never cared at all and dumped me at a very crucial period in my life with nothing to say but I see others have thier ex chase them or be friends with them or at least move on with dates-I havent experienced anything. It gets to me alot to the point it makes me depressed so I supress the feeling til Im numb and focus on my career but when Im alone-I want to scream and cry about why am Im not good enough for anyone. I feel I can be (sometimes I already feel like I am). I can never reach that sense of happiness or that level of intimacy as much as I grab on to hope and reach for it-it disappears to remind me of how worthless and lonely I seem to be. Maybe this is my problem-Maybe Im not sure what it is but I really wish I felt good enough to be on my own or be ok with being alone forever.

    Im not mad at you at all Astra-Im just trying to let it out before it kills me.