To My Friend AstraAngel :)
Sorry for the depressing tone Astra-my emotions go up and down all the time but it is nothing against you. I hope you were not offended.
Do you know when I will actually have a job film related with actual pay?
Is there any guy entering my life?
No, I didn't get the depressing tone at all.. I hear you, hey I relate to you as you are a creative person I am the same way, I understand. Life and art can mix together you know... I keep hoping you run into a great film guy somehow, you two hook up and dream and succeed together. Wouldn't that be nice!
Anyway, a film job... The Magician card popped up. That seems your film job right there! Magic... hollywood is all magic and making dreams on the screen for others to see... so this is your job coming for sure!
2 of Cups... love too!
When? I guess that's always the big question, right?
Drew the Universe card in answer to that question of when... that means on the next clear night, you go outside and look up and make a wish for SOON!
Wonderful things coming for you I am certain... that Magician card has your name all over it. That is your world. : )
And judgement card... that is a new life you step into... something higher... where life is everything you wanted it to be!
So you have a lot of major arcana energies around you now... you are on path... everything should be working together regardless of how it looks or feels like. I would simply say thank you to the breezes for your wonderful dream job and dream love life! It is yours... it is yours...
Thank you Astra. Does the Sagitarrius guy that works with me like me? (I think he's attractive and interesting-smart)?
Oh and the Sagitarrius guy I was talking about is a prep cook and service assistant at my job.
I looked at this earlier and saw some real interest from him toward you, best as I could tell.
You (toward him)
3 Cups, 2 cups, Fool, Hanged Man, Star
That is a lot of positive energy you have toward him - The Hanged man seems to be you feeling like you are waiting on him.
Him (toward you)
Knight swords, Knight cups, Sun, 10 cups, 7 pentacles. All of that knight energy and the ten cups shows some real emotional focus on you. The 7 pentacles could be his considering his steps. Weighing out. Sun shows a really happy thoughts of you.
It all sounded nice... I have the sense he may be waiting for the right moment or something to say something to you, invite you on a date or something... he is focused for sure in his thought life and in love life.
Wow Astra! You are right on the mark! I definitely am waiting on him. I don't want to give showcase it now and be embarrassed. I just want to see if he feels the same way towards me. I would love to go on a date with him we have similar interest.
The only thing he is more into fitness and Ive always wanted to get into the best shape of my life. Im not out of shape badly Im a perfectionist and feel I am not at my best.
Does he find me attractive?
Also Astra Angel-I am sooooo fed up with living at home with my family. I do not feel appreciated enough to really be able to live here. It makes me so agitated and depressed and angry living here. I feel I can not think or breathe on my own. Every time I have to worry about someone else's problem and/or issue and I feel no one takes any kind of consideration what so ever. I do care what I have to do I will move out I don't care if its rash. I am so tired of waiting on my miracle moment. I just going to make something happen. This is f u c ki ng b u l l sh it! My mom is so dramatic and too sensitive to really here me out without getting offended or making threats. I feel this will not change I have to do something.
What are my exact feelings towards home?
What is the best way this situation can change.
Asia, in answer to your earlier question.
I am sure he finds you attractive, otherwise you would not be drawn to him. Some sort of connection there between the two of you.
To look into your home situation, I came up with these cards for you
ABOVE: Devil and the Sun/Empress
BELOW: 2 of CUPS, 10 of Swords and Knight of Cups
2 of Cups is the higher lower arcana energy (closest to the Higher ARCANA)
Followed by the Ten of Swords which no doubt is the mental torture due to your home situation?
And finally the Knight of Cups which is lower level energy, so that could be a love focus in the background to all of this.
Above, the Empress is the dominant energy, under her is the Sun and then the Devil next to the Sun.
The 2 of cups below must be your highest aspiration, below that is the 8 wands and Queen wands - so that shows your Creative aspiring nature.
The ten swords is over a 9 wands and a 9 cups, so that would seem to show a lot of emotional and path energies in this other column, perhaps competing with your path energy (8W plus the Q W).
The Knight of Cups is over the Page of Wands, so that appears to be a lower priority something, involving something you risked, a message perhaps sent or received with a strong emotional focus.
The DEVIL (ayin, eye) is over the Column with the 10 swords, which I speculate is the column representing your current home life. So "HIGHER POWERS" are keeping an "eye" on that. That will not be allowed to be more than you can deal with at any given time in spite of the emotional responses you may feel.
It is interesting that the Empress and the Sun are over the column with the Knight of Cups and Page of WANDS. THe Empress is nurturing something, and the Sun is shining down on this situation for you. Something you risked creatively is given an emotional focus (again), or that is now beginning. There was a risk or a key message back there somewhere.
Also, your column has no higher power over you at this moment. In that sense it seems that you are doing fine and they are leaving you alone, while contending with these other situations.
WIth that in mind I would conclude that you should (hopefully soon) see a calming in the home life situation, either there are by a move to a new place more suitable who likes to hear themselves think once in a while!
Judging from this, and what you have said, I would say your exact feelings are you are ready to throw a chair through a window.
What is the best way this situation can change?
GIve thanks while you want to scream, grit your teeth, wear a t shirt that says "I love you just the way you are" while at home while envisioning you in a NEW setting/home where all is just the way it should be for you, quiet when you are working and trying to think. And playing music YOU love the other times.
Your own place - and it is nice! You even have one of those cats on the wall with the eyes that go back and forth and the tail moves...
The Devil is sometimes depicted as a torture chamber of sorts also, you might be seeing that being played out. I would laugh it all off, wear a tin foil hat and tell them you are deflecting the energies of the Celestial beings from Betelgeuse who they are probably servants of.
The Devil encourages us to turn torture chambers into science labs, try some magic, play around... experiment...
Who knows. you might even have a movie being played out around you... source for future scripts too.
Hahaha thanks a bunch Astra! I will create my own lair of creativity while looking into ways to move out. It does seem to me as if I could use all of this energy for a new script or at least some scripts I need to finish. I plan on creating a short film once I obtain my Zoom H1(I want a Zoom H4n but gotta start somewhere right) and entering into to all of the local big festivals down here in TX and finally try my best to get accepted into Slamdance Film Festival.
Thanks Astra for everything
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astra can you check my topic?:)
Hey Astra, have you been working on any new projects., inching towards movie making?
Im planning on a short version of my Silence and Hell project-it is about a psychopathic zealot. I wish this forum was more private so I can give you all the details but I'm hoping you energy is picking on the fact that Silence and Hell is an awesome, graphic yet controversial movie. (at least I would love it for you to see it that way) hahaaa. What's been going on with your book?
BTW I woke up with an amazing attitude this morning and my happiness has not stopped.
I am working on a screenplay for a movie (sequel), getting close to the finish (I hope, haha). Other than that I am doing some painting (rarely, did one today) and keep working with the cards.
A psychopathic zealot, that sounds interesting, like a psychopathic religious zealot? Or can you be a zealot at anything?
I am not sure about my book making efforts... on the back burner. Have been taking photos of UFO's too. Other than that life is amazingly interesting.
That's awesome! Wish you could still give me that link to your old book. Did you ever put it out on Amazon? That's good that you are still putting out paintings-maybe you just need to find your inspiration to really get back into art again. Or better yet, have your art imitate life as it is now for you. Are there any pictures of you're artwork you would like to show?
And yes Astra-He a religious zealot that believes in the balance of God and the Devil (good and evil) but he uses this to his advantage. Throughout the movie he commits unspeakable crimes to get all of the evil (he is a psychopathic killer) out of him but plans to redeem himself once he gets to Mexico. I basically wrote this story to personify different aspects of religion. The humanistic duality (the killer), one victim (forgiveness), one victim (faith) and another victim (revenge). Its a very interesting story in my opinion.
Hey Astra what does my little brother (the 2 year old) think of me? I feel really bad for him sometimes. How can I make our relationship better?
I tried a "multi level" reading for you...
1. The Sun - this is the situation, your 2 year old little brother. The "baby".
2. Page of Swords - there are words. Maybe someone ain't gettin' what they want.
3. 4 of Cups - a desire to connect and create clear boundaries or guidelines. Stability seems to be the quest.
4. Then the Knight of Cups - and off we go again! Emotions run high and up we go. Could be some more words.
5. Knight of Pentacles - Now the words are become toys and things flying through the air.
6. Then the King of Wands - a line is made in the sand. Don't you dare!
7. Then the 5 of Pentacles and material things stop being thrown around.
8. Then the 3 of Swords. Heartbreak and tears. There is some honest reaching out and
9. The Universe, completion, wholeness, this sounds like where you want to be
10. Then we descend to Earth and that is the 8 of Pentacles, so materially working out,
11. and 7 of Pentacles without ending the dreams.
12. and the effort with material. (3 of pentacles)
and that brings us back to the Page of Swords/Sun combination.
So Asia, it seems to me that the key to your relationship with him is to share in some of his material fun? Creating together would be great. What does he like to do? Tune into his world a little you know? Put yourself in his place and try to feel the world the way he does...
then when you are together, he will feel you understand him, and that will foster trust and with trust comes a calming and quieter energies, love, tenderness and lovely times with him. How does that sound?
P.S. In answer to your other questions, I did a small painting this morning - below.
As for a book I haven't tried to put it out there, maybe I should revisit that. Are you talking about the one about angels? I liked that book. I like out there kinda stuff... Angels are wonderful! I think they help us all the time...