To My Friend AstraAngel :)

  • I am so sorry for all of that negative victim energy I poured out-I was really eaten up at the time and had so many negative thoughts racing through my head and thought it was best to get them out. I cried, screamed and vented but trust me I feel a lot better. I also just came to a new realization and see that I need to let go of all of this deep rooted anger before it eats me alive. I am better than this. I deserve the best in life and know I can/ will be happy regardless. My past and people's actions towards me don't define me. I do. I shouldn't take on everyone else's problem. I am worth it and will work on making sure I know that everyday.

    Don't know what just came over me but I am so glad the light just shined down on me. Again I am sorry Astra for that energy-I hope your day is going well. 🙂

    What 90's movie are you remaking-would love to see it?

  • No need to apologize, you are in good company ha ha... we all deal with the same things. You are right, it has to come out somehow. People's actions don't define us, however they do impact us when we are around them/it. Hopefully it is all developing patience, inner resolve, determination to keep pressing on in your personal life regardless, tenacity, courage, fearlessness, belief in yourself, loving yourself most of all, then others as the situation warrants! And then a new day comes before you know it.

    All of these things happen for a reason... the good, the lousy, all of it... makes for great experience from which to draw inspiration, ideas, character development, anything. It all comes out in your expressions.

    The script is a sequel to "The Shawshank Redemption" which starred Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman and Bob Gunton (who played the Warden). Did you see that movie? It was very inspirational, this sequel is more slapstick and off the wall. I think you would like it! I did it more as a way of just venting I think... when I write and it can make me laugh then I am in my element...

  • Wow! Never would have guessed Shawshank Redemption-Cool! You should probably call it something else though so people won't feel like you messed it up by turning it into a comedy-some people take that movie to seriously (not me though). That is awesome-I would love to read it-is there anymore scripts you have written?

  • Oh and you like writing comedies Astra! Thats cool-Im really into dark humor the most.

  • Asia, yes I have another title picked out for it. It also has an amazing 'twist' ending that causes you to see the original movie in a whole new light!

    I would like to share however I am worn out from trying to get off of this forum and connect with people off line. It seems to add more noise than I can deal with. I'll let the Universe figure it out.

  • I hope the Universe will work it out for you in a great way 🙂

    Would you ever like to be famous off of writing? It seems to me outside of art that would be your big dream!

    Try to pitch it to production companies-you never know they might love it 🙂

  • Thanks Asia... that is a great idea on prod companies. I do love to write, have probably written way more than I ever should have hah....

    I don't know about famous. My 14 year old daughter wants to be famous singing and playing her guitar.

    All I ever wanted was true love.

  • Don't we all Astra 😕

    Thats cool that your daughter loves to do that-hope she finds success and has all of her dreams come through. Does she ever watch singing shows like X Factor and/or American Idol?

    She should get some inspiration and learn from the criticism so by the time she grows up she is ready to demolish the competition lol. But seriously, Im glad she has found something she is passionate about. I hope you also find true love in your life soon if you don't have it already but at least you know you won't be alone-you have the unconditional love of your daughter-which is still something special.

    And btw being famous does have its downside after all who would want their life to be a window that everyone can look through and make a circus out of with no sense of privacy whatsoever-I think being wealthy and legendary would be a little more cool than famous but famous can also make things happen for you too.

  • Yeah, well true love, false love, words... who knows...

    I tell you what though baby.... there is no stopping you. Like some comet they spot outside the orbit of Pluto and say... look out... here she comes... that's you.

    I just hope I am one of the lucky few who can look up in the sky one proud evening, and say,

    " know... I knew her... that superstar.... I knew that girl..."

    On that night, I would be the happiest man on Earth.

  • Awww thanks Astra 🙂 I will definitely say that about you and your daughter 🙂 when you two become super successful in your passions be it famous and wealthy or just plain wealthy and legendary 🙂

    Thank you so much for everything Astra.......

  • My daughter is amazing she has already taught herself how to play guitar and sings really well since the first of the year, she is a Taurus, very determined and confident! I have learned to stay out of her way!

    I still want to let you read my script! Jenever7 has a Facebook page for us on the forum, maybe we can connect there or something. Facebook still confuses me.

  • Hey Asia

    Just sitting here thinking about this movie idea/script, I think it would be fun to post it here, and let it sort of evolve on this thread? Maybe you could add/delete, it would be a collaboration? Let me know, I am at point where I would love to just get something going with it - or you could tell me really quick that it stinks and please, no more! haha.... could be fun... there is even a Tarot reading bit in the movie ha....

  • Hey Astra! Sorry I haven't responded fast enough-I work full time on the weekends.

    Yes, we Tauruses are very determined lol! I would love to chat it up on Facebook were is the link to the thread so we can chat?

    I love the collaboration idea on your script! Would love to do so-a Tarot reading bit on the movie? Sounds very interesting can't wait to see what it is! That sounds so cool! I really cant' wait to read it now :)))

    Oh yeah, I been meaning to tell you about the busboy this past weekend-Ok so on Saturday-he was really didn't say much at all but he would glance and turn away and didn't talk at all. I was with him all day but then at the end of the night he says-"you can't say hi?" with a smile. I told him that he seemed like he didn't want to be bothered. He told me he wan't in the best of moods lately. I understand that but at the same time-he goes about his business with others playing around, flirting and having fun and acts super different when he is around me-I get an almost cold response (in my opinion). Then yesterday-I said hi and he really didnt respond but talked to everyone else again like normal.

    To be honest-it is very irritating-I hate shy guys or whatever only because I am bold, honest and impatient-I lose interest quickly and don't like the runaround. The reason why it is irritating because I really don't know what to make of it. (I am not an abstract person-I like the direct approach).

    What do you make of all of his behavior Astra?

  • Hey Asia

    Jenever7 has a facebook site "Could you move please you're blocking my light" that she created for tarot folks... maybe we can meet there somehow and then go from there. I would love love to get your reaction to it and maybe it could be a fun project who knows! Maybe surprises I love surprises.

    Okay on the busboy response that does sound a little odd... why would he be reacting differently to you?

    We can look at some cards and see what insights might show...

    Okay so I came away with the 7 of Pentacles and the Judgment card.

    So... 7 of Pentacles seems like he is waiting for something before he becomes more himself with you. He really could be somewhat insecure with himself, and so with others he can pretend, with you he may be already putting up "shields" so he doesn't get hurt.

    Judgment energy so that is working to liberate the two of you into something more relaxed with each other!

    Then the 2 of Pentacles and someone will have to make the first move.

    Queen of Cups. And that would be you. So yes, I think in this situation Asia, he is really hoping that you might offer to go out or something... set it up so that he can get past his own inner defense network... then after that I bet it would be a lot easier going.

    You can think about that! I know it isn't usually the female that is the aggressive role, however in your situation your roles may be a little different. You could come up with something to say to him like,

    You: Hey bb, could you help me with something? I am working on a self - development course and one of the course requirements is to try a different role in life in some way, and give a report on it online. Its some dumb stupid course I have to take... ugh..."

    BB: Oh yeah? What do you want me to do?

    You: Nothing. I dreamed up this idea to try... let me ask you out on a date? That is something I would never normally do, ask a guy... however this dumb course, well I have to do SOMETHING.... and since we have kinda been hitting it off lately (big ego boost for him), I want to ask you out... as my class project.

    You: So... would you like to go out for dinner or coffee or something?

    BB: ...what? Oh wow... sure... sure I would! Wow that is really nice of you to -

    You: Yeah, I thought it was a good concept. So.... what would you like to do? (then you can talk about what to do instead of waiting for which one is willing to break the ice).

    You get the idea... I think that would get things going in the right direction again. You would have to be willing to 'risk' a little there, he could always say no, I doubt that though... however you are that kind of personality bold and no nonsense. Of course pretending its for a class project is sorta nonsense too haha....

    blessings! I am sending you nice wishes to get that matter cleared up soon!

  • Thanks Astra-I really need it. I think I am blocking my blessings a bit at times I don't know what to make of God at times. I want my faith to be strong but its very shaky. I really just wish I could see what the other side is like so I CAN ABSOLUTELY know what to do with myself and what would make me happy-I feel like has given me alot of s h i t as much as I try not to be that way-I feel like that. I really do try to make the best of it- it is just going by so freaking slow and its really unfair once I start comparing my life to others. I feel I should have a little more than I should when it comes to feeling more connected with others. That what I really crave. I just wish things were different for me. I want to personally talk to God and get a clear answer on my life.

  • Hi Asia

    Hey I hear what you are saying. I have (and still do) dealt with a lot of these same issues, and fears and pain, all of it... there is no way to candy coat it, the tears are real and the pain is real...

    I saw your new thread, and I have prayed for you and will continue to pRAY and send POSITIVE and helpful energy your way... hang in there it will get better for you... a lot better.

    We can't always see the road ahead, and that can be frightening. I want to know what is ahead and where my life is going... the only thing is,, where my life is going is learning to live by faith and not by sight. In other words, trust... which can be the hardest thing in life. Especially when the circumstances LOOK crummy, or you are FEELING crummy... or someone just gave you a dirty look at work... or your memories are torture in some area.... all of that junk is simply SEEN or felt stuff that is NOT determining your future. YOU are heading somewhere great... I believe that for all of us!

    This is also a part of the "creative" journey too... as a creative person you have to experience a lot of ups and downs to find yourself... i wish there was an easier way... so there are times when I have wanted to die and I have prayed so often to leave this earth... some days I still pray that... however I also know that my life... and yours, we are all part of a Universe that I believe is ultimately very, very, very happy and fulfilling, in all ways, love, career... creativity.

    It's just the day to day walking it out with little to go on.. can be frustrating.... so I will keep you in prayer today and you should be feeling a lightening of that lower energy/emotions....

  • Asia

    Got it. I am trying this with FlowersandTrees and it works great. Just create a private email acct for each relationship and keep them compartmentalized. This would even work with "ex's"... assign a new email acct to your "ex" and that becomes your "private channel" to them (this would work with your ex also). Then they become simply one of a group of 2... or more. THEN you see your life with options instead of limitations. That makes it a lot easy to dialogue as you don't have to be concerned about language and such you can say more fun words haha....

    So here is an email address I have set up, astra - asiamovies (at) hotmail dot com

    Would you like to try that?

    We should be able to dialogue about movies and see what I can do to help you out, throw you ideas or whatever. Asia this script is YOURS to do with whatever (its probably really lousy but what can I say, it makes a story 🙂 . My gift to you, it all comes from heaven anyway. Maybe ble$$ings can come also u never know haha....

    Anyway, if you want to try that, there you go.

    I keep getting with you asia that it is time for you to fly out of the nest so to speak. What are you doing in college for movies? You KNOW how to put a movie together girl just GO - FOR - IT!!!!

    Love, astra

  • Also I have been listening to this track as a general "feel" type music behind some of the action scenes, driving around this town in Southern Cal. This has a nice upbeat jazzy feel while at the same time a little ethereal ...think David Lynch filming an a heist movie if that is possible.

    Imperial City is where is all filmed. Probably over the course of a weekend. Using whatever cam you have. Just an idea haha...............

    tinyurl dot com 8rsrjf9

  • tinyurl dot com / 8rsrjf9

    BTW here is a tarot card for you.

    Knight of Wands shows you are very focused on your path now.

  • Hey Astra!!!!! Thanks for following up with me. Ive missed being here. I lost my wifi last week and really haven't been able to check in. IVE BEEN GREAT!!!!. The busboy finally asked me out this past Sunday and we hung out that night-went to Ihop and his place to watch a movie. We kissed a few times, we held hands and he squeezed me but I was up to make sure he didnt have any dirty tricks lol. I hung out with him all night at his place-we mostly talked all night. HE only had an hour or two of sleep because he had to go to work in the morning. He drove me home and watched me go up the stairs (without me even asking) and I kissed him before I left. He asked me to call him before 4pm yesterday but I ended up calling at 5pm from my sisters number (I just got my phone turned back on) and he answered to tell me he was going to call me back (he had an interview at his other job) but never did. Today I text him my cell phone number and he responded. We've been txting back and forth but Im hanging with my other friend tonight. It seems like yall were right all alonG HE DID LIKE ME-

    He said he was a litttle disappointed I didnt call him from the first time we met-I forgot that he did give me his number-I just lost it. Made me realize that I need to look at the situation as a whole.

    Did he like our date Sunday night?

    What is his view on me since we've been out?

    Besides all of that and my questions-HOW HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!!!????