To My Friend AstraAngel :)
How've you been long time no see Hope your Christmas break went well minds did!
I just wanted to start a new uplifting positive thread for us being that my moods make me write things I probably regret later because I look like a victim or Im have self pity (I can sometimes) but in the end I know I can make myself feel better-which is why Ive been off tarot for a while but I thought of you and just wanted to see what you were up to. Hope your're doing great by the way....Im buying me a new camcorder soon and going to driving school in January!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!! NIce to see hear from you again-hope you're doing ok. BLESSINGS
Hey that is great about the camcorder and driving school I am thrilled for you! Can't wait to see your film making creations! You will probably have something shot and in the theatres before I can turn around.
I took some time off to reflect and spend some quiet time with the family. Feeling better about things. Some personal matters I am still sifting however I know it will work out. Some new things developing for me too I hope! I could use some new energies in my relationship life for sure.
I hope all of your film school efforts are working out. Did you ever decide on a school and a program? Are you still looking at that college in Florida?
Happy New Year to you and I KNOW 2012 WILL BE YOUR YEAR ASIA118X!!! BIG THINGS COMING FOR YOU! EXCITING!
The Chariot says they will sweep you away into some very nice places! In love and in your creative work, keep up that bright smile and keep polishing your dreams like diamonds you are a jewel in heaven's eyes.
love and light
Thank you soooo much Astra! Sorry I havent got back to you sooner-been pretty busy. And yes Im still considering that college in Florida (its online but it bests suit my needs right now) but just in case the financial aid situation doesnt work out too well-I going to a local cheap film school here in TX-its about $16,000 for 15 months but you do graduate with an associates and at least a gathered some knowledge and practice in my field. It nothing works out with the FL school by April. Im will be going to the TX film school in June (more than likely-Financial Aid finances will be more to my liking due to the low cost of tuition).
But even with all that nonsense the year seems to start off right for me and of course Ive helped made that so. I just went to driving school and recieved permit (to drive) and right after my next class I recieve my license-still need a car but at least there is a grander sense of freedom lol!
Im going to buy me a camcorder now that Ive got the money and been snatching hours at my job lol, I been shopping for lovely cameras. I found a refurbished Canon Vixia HF M40 for only $400-last one but Im not sure if I want that now because I found a Canon Vixia HF S10 and a Canon Vixia HF S30 and a Canon 550D Rebel T2i (all great cameras for filmmaking) for a little higher but still within my reach in a small amount of time-Im trying to decide which one is best for me to do. I plan on doing 3-5 shorts and then working on my big feature film. Im going to distribute themself and enter the films into several contests and hope for my big feature to be distributed by a great major motion picture company to get it out there into the theatres and promote it on a grand scale.
I know I dreaming big Astra but I feel this year is calling for me to get started on big things and work on my dreams just a tad bit harder. I feel I can help make this a great fantastic year.
But enough about me and my shananigans-Howve you been (hope your doing great :))?
that is so awesome that you are moving ahead with your film work, I know that situations will work out great. And you got your DL good for you! Florida still sounds like the way to go I would keep hoping for that.... and you are now shooting (or soon) your own films so that is perfect... keep it going.... never stop never surrender!
I see a romance movie you will create... The LOVERS card and the Seven of Swords... something there... do a short romantic drama (5 of swords)
love and light
Thanks for the advice! I'll see what can do with that romantic drama. Funny thing Ive been thinking of one that Ive wanted to make lol.
What camera will work out better for me right now-the T2i? Or camcorders in the Canon Vixia collection?
Looks like the Canon Vixia collection!
Queen Cups and Ace Swords
(the other camera was Temperance and Hierophant )
Hey Astra long time no see!!!!! Ive missed you and this site like crazy! Been really busy and getting my life together-Im in the process of working and attempting to shoot my first feature film that I want to be big-Huge dream huh? Lol! I know but Im not intimidated, Im actually exicted anxious and intrigued by all the time, patience, hard work and preserverance that this project is embodeing (don't if I spelled that correctly haha!). Ive got my main character's actor signed on already. Im going to be shooting this with a Canon EOS Rebel T2i while Im in school before I get my big major camera from the school (A Sony Nex FS100). Honestly, Im really psyched and feel really good about this project. Its a dark and Im mean extremely dark psychological thriller/horror film. Its shocking and provacative but it is touching and amazing as well in my eyes.
Hope its a success but anyway how've you been holding up?
hope all is well astra! miss ya old friend. Hows the book coming along?
Great to hear from you ! I am totally stoked on ur movie that sounds so awesome!
I want to make a movie too however mine you couldn't show in normal theaters haha.....
Hey I am doing fine, some ups and downs and plenty of mistakes so what else is new! I designed my own tarot deck so I am having fun with that. I applied to go back to college and get a psychology degree, (weird) but at least its something new and I am ready to try anything. Maybe I can figure me out then!
Its bizarre I ran into someone else making a movie, a lady over in Seattle area she is making a movie related the ocean (that is all she will let me say haha!) and I have been doing some art for her on that (character studies artwork) so if you need some help with the storyboards keep me in mind.
My own personal fine art efforts have been hitting a brick wall over and over so I think I need to let all that go, ugh. Oh well, I painted enough to fill a museum, maybe time for new things. I would love to get involved with movies more, I have a lot of ideas. I am also good with typography so maybe that is a niche as well (titles etc).
Hey nice to hear from you and I salute your life efforts you are an inspiration to all of us.
Hmmm thats awesome-typography maybe you could work with me one day (would love to meet you). Im so glad to see your doing ok- and hey dont give up on fine art now, maybe the sucess you want will come in due season. Does the art help you release feelings or express your feelings-if so look at the sucess of that. Hey and who isn't going back to school these days-good for you! I was always into psychology. Dont worry about mistakes remember never a failure, always a lesson.
Nice to hear from you again Asta, keep in touch soon after work.
Hey Astra-I have a feeling Im on the verge of a nearby breakthrough-I dont know exactly what I mean by nearby but Im very excited about the feeing and I feel there are much better days ahead in regards to my career and possibly love. Im excited and wanted to know what all of this was about. Also to this may be random but Ive been thinking about my ex lately and I gotten a few readings that said he thinks of me and misses me alot-and have a strange feeling we'll come into to contact somehow (not sure when lol)
How can I ensure my sucess in the film industy in the future?
Do you see me being sucessful?
And also are my feelings true about my ex-does he really miss me and will we ever come back in contact?
Well this sounds great, I can tell you are heading places in love and career!
How can I ensure my sucess in the film industy in the future?
Eight of Pentacles - keep working hard like you are doing and keep repeating patterns that are working for you. Queen of Swords, stay very committed to yourself in your thinking, no matter what. Also the Hierophant (which has a Queen swords hidden within) seems to encourage you to connect to a specific philosophy of the film world, like a certain style or approach to film work that you really like. Could be a certain director who you really admire, keep following their example. (Tarentino?)
Do I see you being successful? I do not need to draw a card for that, it goes without saying. A fleet of B52's could not stop your success at this point.
And also are my feelings true about my ex-does he really miss me and will we ever come back in contact? Knight of Wands, he seems to be dealing with a self-identity issue right now. Ace of Swords shows he does think about you a lot. Four of Swords is acting on what he thinks so it would not surprise me to see him contacting you soon.
I hope that helps.
P.S. Here is a title screen from a horror movie...
Yes my favortite director is Tarantino-I see him as an inspiration and follow his philosphy along with other directors-but he is my top fave (also helps that he is a writer).
Nice cover though-love it and about those storyboards-I definetly say I could use some help. Would love it-not sure off of which movie though but Im open to all the help I can get.
Im planning on entering the Austin Film Festival this year in October-Im so excited, hopefully I get noticed in some way-minor or major. I plan to shoot plenty over the summer and showcase a short film (Excess and Dreams), a feature film (Silence and Hell) and my script (more than likely Harmonious Deceit or The Jerri Fatale Affair) at the contest. If I cant get it all-one or two things will do.
Do you see the Austin Film Festival going well for me-as in recognition?
Do you see anything in regards to the reality TV show Im working on for this crazy real estate company?
And also-about my ex. I sometimes feel we wont cross paths or contact each other but then again I think I analyze too much and feel I should let the Universe work its magic-I prayed for him last night and hoped he was ok.
Is he ok?
Will he be happy if we ever came back into contact?
I drew the Emperor card for your Austin film thing which is a fantastic sign that you are in for some amazing recognition there. You will also be connecting with some big time movie people there for sure.
As for the "reality TV show Im working on for this crazy real estate company" I drew
THree of Cups, King of Cups and the Page of Wands - so this looks like
You are going to enjoy this a lot, there is a lot of emotional energy connected to this
The King cups shows you releasing an emotional pattern and the Page of Wands shows some identity risks. The sense I have is that you are going to be caught up in a lot of changes as you go along with this project, it may not turn out exactly the way you originally envisioned it, however it WILL turn out to be something very cool.
As for yur ex...
Nine of Wands and King of Swords,
so, yes he is okay (nine of wands) and as for "happiness" the King of Swords is a card of releasing something mentally, so I would say if you two ever got together again, before there would be any "happiness" there would be some serious talks, and there is something he would want to get off his chest about you (not sure what that is about).
Anyway, take it easy, I want to make a movie too...
Ok definetly will do Astra-hope we can get together sometime and make a movie happen
Honestly Astra, Im going through a dark period of thoughts again-very stressed out and trying to find a balanced center in myself. Hopefully I relieve my negative thoughts through writing but Im trying my best to write in this irritating enviroment that Im in-I really want to move somehow but feel I cant for awhile even though I know it is best.
Is there was I can do this (move out that) I dont know about?
What would be the best way for me to move out from my family?
Hmm, I will try and see what ideas we can come up with for you...
"Is there was I can do this (move out that) I dont know about?
What would be the best way for me to move out from my family?"
I am not coming up with anything. I am sure whatever options are available you have already considered. Find a sympathetic fried to move in with. Save up enough dough and find someone that is looking for a room mate to share expenses. Other than that, you are looking at living on the streets, in a tent and not sure how well you can work on your movies while living under an overpass. (I have considered doing that).
So, I dunno... it is just a question of having enough money to get your own place? We could look at options for you to earn enough $$ to get a place... if you are experiencing anything like me, the doors are SHUT to making money, and it becomes so dismal you don't even want to try any more (looking for work). Maybe the Universe has us in these places to break us to the point where we completely abandon hope and then will send an angel to rescue us miraculously. I have not seen any miracles yet.
I did this reading and all I get are some weird clues for you maybe it will spark something and idea for you, I dunno.
Laying out this matrix of cards I ended up with all of the cups on the borders, so that seemed to be a hint of something (angels must love mind games and hints). So BORDER, BOUNDARY, EDGES, something enclosed seems to be the idea. Maybe you need to set clearer boundaries in your present situation, a personal private space that no one can enter into and will leave you the &%$# alone while you work. A room that is off limits to others.
That is all I have for you. I wish you and I could hook up somehow and pool some resources.. I have made very little at my art however it is something and it is possible that if I ever found someone willing to help it could turn into more income for the both of us. It wouldn't be much at first however it would be income and it would grow, AND it wouldn't require much time on your part at all. I would send you a JPEG of some art and you could list it for sale, (I have been putting things on ebay and they always sell) and then once they sell YOU can collect the dough and send me half and we are good. 50/50. I could help you with movie art and storyboards maybe and we just keep working it and hope something can happen financially. Everyone is so siloed in right now though... alone... people are alone trying to succeed alone and it is not working... ugh... I don't know what is going on, it is all so weird to me... I am numb... so I just do the tarot readings... art has become so painful for me, I don't even like to think about continuing to do that by myself. Had hopes the wife (now the Ex) would have come along side and really helped me at it however she was always into her own things mostly... never happened... whatever....
I am seeing a reader today and hope something can come out of that she needs a website and I can do that. It would be a trade though no money.... ugh... at least its something.
Okay there. Dumping some stuff on you... whatever, maybe something will work out for you, maybe something will click with someone. I don't think the Universe really intended that we struggle alone... otherwise why have more than one person alive on a planet? It makes no sense.....
Okay. back to the reading, that was a little side trip.
The only other "clue" I got for you was the Page of Cups which is taking an emotional risk...
and the thought came to me, why not reach out to your Ex? Contact him and see where he is at with his life, and explore the possibility of reconnecting so you would have a place to live and you two could be an item again...I dunno Asia... I am fresh outta ideas....
Here are the cards, probably won't mean anything to you, but I like to look at these grids of cards... comforting somehow... maybe they have messages of love hidden in them from angels, or something... maybe it will take an angel to bail us all out of whatever sucky situations we are in our lives... I dunno... angels seem busy with other things, maybe they are stuck too...
The High Priestess showed in this, so follow your "higher self" to discover some answers... I laid the Page of Cups on that card... so act on what you FEEL seems to be your answer....
Sri for dumping on you with my stuff... it is all too weird... for me...
Thanks Astra Im planning on raising at least $5000 while I go to school online (its a 32 month program) and move out in about 6-12 months (The sooner the better in my book). I thought about the ex idea but didnt know if it would be good for me-i feel it might be best to do things on my own.
Do you think my ex would be ok with it (I dont really think so)?
Would it be good for me?
The universe is checking me on the whole 'ex' thing... you are right I would stay focused on you working through this, you will be provided for. Your plan sounds good, and in the meanwhile whatever 'adversity' you are encountering in life is only making you stronger and a better artist. You are living through, experiencing a lot of the "scenes" in your life right now from which you will draw in the future for your art, the movie.