Help Please to a Psychic

  • Hello All,

    I need some insight please?! I am currently in a relationship of almost 19 years, not very happy, would like to move on am sometimes afraid for my life (honest). Spouse is sometimes a little mental possibly bi-polar, but won't get help. I don't want to set him off am trying to wait until economic times are better. Can I please get advice? birthdate 11/20/1965

    God Bless and dont be scared for me, I am in my Father's Hands!

  • HI, When the time and conditions are right leave. I hope he can't look up your post on the history bar. You have to be careful. Don't give any clues. Is he a Capricorn. If he is truly dangerous, will have to be with people that can help.

  • the time is never right or wrong to be yourself and stand up for yourself.

    please dont wait for better times. you are not a doormat you are a person who needs help and

    love and we are all entiteld to it. you can not stay with someone out of pity or guild and who plays on

    your togetherness for 19 years. i am sure that you had some wonderfull times but the scales of

    life must equal at some point. good and bad must balance. if you can honestly say that they no longer do and that love that ones was is now pity or you are being scared of the action of you

    partner when you go than this is emotional blackmail and you must learn to let go. there is a world out there and people who will help you. please find that help to make a decision .if you stay then stay and get help. but do not live in a nightmare.

    kind regards

  • before you leave think things through. Do a safety planing, (look at the web for samples) or I can post one here. Take your passport and your children if you have them,. Take your social and important paperwork, the rest is replaceable. When in danger go to the hosptial they are open 7/24. Some hopital have DV assistance. if even if go with a headache they have to see you. And even if you have kids they have to see you.

    Although, only you know when to leave, never, never, never ever leave the house when he is there. Leave when he is not. And never go to your family or best friend 's house because that is the first place he's going to look for you, and you may place them in danger.

    Check shelters in your area, the best way to go. Get a Protection Order. Learn about the cycle of violence and decide where you are act upon it.

    Seek counseling for and your children. If you have never left, take your time and have a plan. It takes about 10 times to leave before you leave for good, because there is no plan.

    Leaving is the easy part, staying away, not going back is the hard part. If you dont have a jon get one, if you dont have saving, start saving, if you dont have a place to go, find one, cover all your basic befero you leave.

    Always Always document your story it will help if you seek legal remedies. Write doen events and dates and take pictures.

    Always call the police.

  • Thanks to all, God Bless.

  • If the time and conditions are right--This is a potentially threatening situation.

  • I'm BiPolar, but I take care of my condition and I work very very hard on myself to empower myself. But, without getting too personal, I also have PTSD and that is because when I was very young, I married whom I thought was so right for me (Pisces) and what was great became horrifying. After my 2nd child was born he used drugs, he lied to me, never worked, allowed everyone around me to abuse and traumatize me, he allowed dangerous people into our home, he left me alone when I was unable to walk because of an injury to care for our kids and he was cruel, cruel, cruel. He often sais that he wanted to see how long it would take to break me. I got pregnant with a 3rd child after being told I couldn't have any more, and I took it as a sign from God "GET OUT"! It was jump out the nearest window or pick up my babies and carry them away. It was hard, very hard. I lived very far from my family, I was isolated, we had no car, no phone and no one would help me. My mother came and got me when he wasn't there, and I left and went to another state knowing it would be harder for him to follow.

    My ex husband was also BiPolar with Narcissistic Personality traits, and let me tell you he could fool the world, but as soon as the door closed, he was as cruel as you can get.

    I got out though and I have used the resources that all these other women are giving you. Save your own life because YOU ARE WORTH IT and you have the right to live in safety and peace! You can do it. Nevermind the astrology, abuse is abuse and it doesn't matter what sign you are many or capable of it and many indure it and you don't have to! I've been there, you can do it!

  • Good Advice ShroudedHeart. Having to endure trauma, especially by those that we place our trust in, takes a toll. The best advice is to get out.

  • I'm glad you got out! I don't know what I'm waiting for.

  • Good luck! Having a safety plan is your best bet also! I have one still!

  • Excellent advice Purita. I lived with a partner like that for 5 years and made the mistake of going back when he threatened suicide. My return became license to become more abuse my health deterioate and it began to tear my family apart as all they wanted to do was kill him. you must leave and never go back no matter what happens be strong and think of yourself and your children.

    In my case there are no kids but as children my syblings and i had to endure my step fathers abuse against my mother day after day for 15 years before she broke free (along with all the other brakes he left her with) this you would believe to be a lesson at a young age but my ex could charm birds from the trees so its not always how you think it will be.

    I spent a vast amount of money to go through court to have my ex removed from our property and to gain a restraining order wnich i now have.

    I wish you the best of luck and believe me when i say that all of us who have had this experience will send out healing and love to you and your children.

  • Hi its difficult living with a person who has mental health issues I did for 1 year but realised I wouldnt be able to help him either. He got increasingly angrier at my attempts for realising he had a problem. according to him he did not. he was not bi-polar but showed similar traites but was actually suffering from border line personality and a kind of narcissist personality not a good mix. If you go on the internet and put in border personality you will see that they have no recollection of their behaviour or they choose to ignore it. It was a very unusual year with an obsessive personality that would flip anytime unexpectedly and you would be totally unaware that anything was wrong. I did the best thing and got out as soon as I could. It was not easy as they are very manipulative, lying and on the turn of a coin change into a very angry person. These people cannot see they want help I did not stick around to sort out the problem but chose myself a new life which i am now appreciating with peace and more than anything peace of mind.

    It is worth looking at the web sites as it sounds a little like that to me. Good luck. and you must put yourself first now as he is now beginning to show signs of unreasonable behaviour.

    I will be on the site tommorrow if you want to respond.

    Look after yourself. A

  • shrouded heart,

    I read from your articles that you suffer from PTSD I can understand why but you may find it interesting to log onto the EFT website with Gary Craig. he has done much work with PTSD patients from vietnam, you can download the tapping technique free. I am an advanced EFT practitioner and I think you could really have help with treatment and finally get rid of him forever in your heart and mind. It is a wonderful therapy and my advice is to download the free tapping technique and start by yourself and if you think you could be interested see a practitioner as they can change your life. I really mean this to lessen the whole trauma business in one session. You will then be free of feeling emotions regarding your trauma and live your life as if it never really had an affect on you. Hope this will help with the PTSD. Anne Venus

  • annevenus:

    Thanks for that info! It would be great to get rid of all these memories! Support groups have been a huge lifeline for me these past few years! I do have experience with people with border lline and narcissistic personality as well (an acuaintance the other my). Borderline personalities often feel emptiness and nothing seems to fill it, they both love and hate people they are close to at the same time, narcissism is characterized by charming personalitties, over the top accomplishments that behind closed doors become brutally mean, deep in your heart. Narcissistic personalities rarely seek treatment because they believe themselves to be better and smarter than their therapist, nothing is wrong with them, everyone else is wrong. Living with mental illness and supporting others is a lot of work, and I've experienced my own things and have fuond that there is a enormous difference between a person with mental illness that takes care of themselves and works on their behavior daily, and a person who ignores it; it's huge!

    If you would like to chat more about things I can give you my email address. I've definitely been through a lot and I really like helping others through similar ordeals since I have been there, and I know that recovery and healing does exist for everyone who has gone through trauma. 🙂 Thanks and good luck!

  • You guys are great! How great it is to know there good people in the world still. I believe.

  • Shroudedheart / annevenus Everything you have both said in the above describes my ex partner. When dealing with the police after repeated attacks on me i would try to explain that it was my belief that he was of a boarderline personality (i've had some experience working with people with mental heath too)he had been listed to get help for his anger/drinking/drug abuse which i stupidly thought i was helping him through. we had similar backgrounds with violence and sexual assault beihg at the core but i had sort help many years ago for my trauma and through a lot of spirtual practice and my faith as a pagan i had become strong enough to deal with it.

    Although its over a year since i was finally able to get a court order against him to restrain him from having contact it runs out in september and i have had calls from him at stupid hours of the morning drunk of course, though theses have stopped the past few months.

    I admit i do fear him returning anytime as he doesnt understand what he's done wrong and just cannot accept it he turns things around to try and make you sound like you are the one thats crazy amongst other things he once through litter fluid on me while i was asleep and then set fire to the bed having already had little to no help from the police i was too scared to report it as the last time i did he knocked me out and all they did was arresst him for the night.

    He was cold about it then put on a show of crying though never actually said he was sorry.

    i dealt with this for five years alot of folks would say why did you put up with it? but i'd like to see some of them in the position he had even attacked me in the street and infront of his own family to whom he was also a monster.

    sorry for ranting on but i havent really been able to get this out of my system properly as me and my family are not close,ive moved back to my home town but dont really know many people here most of my friends live other places and/or are married with kids and too busy to want to meet up and my work collegues as good as i get on with some of them i dont really see out of work so i'm kind of left to deal with things alone as usual.

  • Shadowplay:

    How horrifying that must have been for you! It is a relief when we find other women who have gone through this and gotten out. People often asked me why I didn't get out sooner as well, very simple: 1. I had no means to get out, I had no car, no phone, no friends or family nearby to help me get out. 2. that fear, that fear that you damned if you do, damned if you don't.

    Traumatic events take their toll on us and it takes so much for us to fight those demons around us, (that's what they are). I have found so much healing in my spirituality, and my support groups I go to so that when I talk about my pain, my suffering, I know that they truly understand what I am talking about. Through that I have found so much strength that I can fight those beasts that haunt me now.

    I am also a wiccan, and I have some native american beliefs as well, and I often try and quiet my mind at night to meditate and listen to drums and flutes, feel like everything is one with me, and draw strength from the earth, from the water, from the animals, trees, everything because we are one.

    Now I can look at myself and say: "You are beautiful, you are strong, and you do not deserve to be hurt ever again." And I would also say that to all of you women as well. We are beautiful, we are strong, and we can survive.

    If any of you would like to talk more, I would love to be here for you, to talk, listen and to share our stories and support each other and find strength together. Let me know if you would like my personal info and I would be more than happy to share that with you! Blessed Be!

  • poetic 555:

    There are good people in the world and there are women who understand your struggles and we will support you! Please take care of yourself and let us know that you are alright!

  • Something I want to share with you all before I stop posting for today. A friend of mine told me this while I was in the hospital:

    "You are braver that you believe, stronger than you feel, and smarter than you think. And no matter where you go, we are always with you!"

    I hope that makes you feel a little better!

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