Question about this Cancer man....
I met this guy online on a dating site about a month ago. I found him to be extremely attractive and loved the fact that he was asking questions about me and my life. He appeared to be very interested. We conversed daily for about a week, met for lunch and everything went great. We continued to converse and then the holidays were upon us and I traveled for about a week...during that time he stayed in touch with me and couldn't wait to see me again. Christmas night we were able to see each other again and the mutual physical attraction took over. We had a great time together and the passion was off the charts. The next day the distance began....I had sent him a text in the morning and it took him about 5 hours to respond a really brief response. Later that day, I asked if everything was ok and he said yes, there was nothing to worry about and he was just processing things. So for about another week, correspondence was rather sparse and then he asked to come over on Wed. Of course I said yes because I am for whatever reason extremely drawn to him and want to be around him. One thing led to another and once again the physical chemistry between us took over. Spotty correspondence starts once again on Thurs and then last night he asked to come over again. When he got here, he said he was sorry if he has seemed distant lately and proceeded to tell me various things that have been going on in his life. He was so attentive and chatty all night and we stayed up until 4 am this morning talking and other things of course. Sooooo that leads me to today....not a word from him since he left this morning at 7 am. I sent him a quick text at 3:30 this afternoon with no response. 6 pm rolls around and still not a word. Now one critical piece of information I need to add here is this.... When we first met in person he was telling me that one of the things that bugged him about some of the women he has met on this dating site say they have a great time and are interested and within a few hours are logged back into the dating site. Well, I have seen him logged in numerous times over the past few weeks and then this evening he was on there again. I had logged into a friends profile just to see when he was on line last and there he was, logged in with the option to chat with him open!!!!! Is this cancer man playing with me and is this normal behavior of this sign? Taurus and Cancer are supposed to be great together and I'm not sure if I should continue with this or not? Any advise would be great and appreciated.
Well, where to begin.....from my experience Cancerians are the most unique sign. They are sensitive, kind, realistic, and yet aloof, distant, horrible communicators and fearful.
They are not in any way shape or form able to be vulnerable or appear needy. One thing that scares them the most, is when they develop feelings for someone who could leave them. ie a partner, sometimes they even fear being too harsh with their own children, bc they depend on that love deeply and anything that could estrange them from their children, they avoid like the plague.
Then, they have these high, almost often, unrealistic ideals of what they need from a partner, which is so ironic bc they cannot even come close to being that type of partner to someone. It is a weird, odd relationship to say the least.
It does and can have its rewarding moments, but man...the cost (for their partner) is high. By that, this is what I mean. You have to always be calm, supportive, attentive, intuitive and laid back. You have to spend a lot of time fullfilling their needs and not expecting yours to be filled back. They will, but they do it so cautiously, that it can cause much frustration on the partners part. BC again, their fear comes into play.
Often times, they would rather remain detached and left out, as to avoid any heart ache or pain.
The man I was involved with, chose a woman as his wife simply bc he did not care that deeply for her, so that way, if she left or it ended, he would not be hurt. What does that say??
To me it screams sadness.
I would rather love with all my heart and lose, then never try or be too afraid to take that leap.
Oh, I forgot to add this, I am in no way shape or form saying this is a bad thing on your part, bc you are an adult and free to make your own decisions, but, from what I know about cancers is sleeping with him so soon, could be bad thing.
I know it sounds crazy, especially since it was mutual. Hell, it could have even been more him. But remember when I said about those unrealistic ideals? Well, that would be one of them.
Thank you for your response Taurus7. I sent him a text questioning what was going on and I just received this reply: "I think I told you I am not completely sure what I want...I do know I enjoy your company and the sex is great but I have to be sure in my head and heart sorry" How do I take that? Is that his nice way of saying it was just sex and he wants nothing more?
IDK...really....they are so complex and so self protective. That is the key, their self protection. I am a Taurus, obviously, lol and I was with my guy 2 years and we knew each other 2 years previously.
I hat e playing games, I don't think they do it on purpose, but in the end, it is what they do.
My response to a text like that would be something like this...yes, the S*x was great, I enjoy you too, would like to get to know you better, but if you aren't interested, no big deal.....that simple and leave it at that.
didn't see your post before I responded, but this is what I said: "As much as I enjoy your company and truly want to know you better, I'm not sure my heart is going to be able to handle this. I am sorry that I allowed myself to have Sx with you and ruin the opportunity for you to get to know me on a different level first..... I knew the next day that I sabotaged any chance of getting any further with you. FYI, I hadn't had Sx with anyone in just over 2 years because of this very reason"
I think you handled yourself well. Don't be mad, hurt or upset if he did not respond. yes it is rue and wrong. They just sometimes aren't very capable., especially when it comes to emotion.
Thanks Taurus7 and no, I have not heard from him. However, I had "friend requested" him on a certain site before all of this nonsense took place and he accepted it 2 days ago. Very strange if you ask me! Not sure why after all of this he would add me as his "friend" on there!