CONTINUING TO FAIL AT LOVE



  • I ended a marriage in 2009 after being separated 6 months. I was married to a Scorpio (11-21-61) for 4yrs and together for a total 10yrs. The marriage ended and began in the same month. At the end of 2009 I met a Sagittarius (12-13-71) which the relationship has just ended. Again began and ended within the same month. Now just met another Scorpio (10-28-79) but know this will not work and trying to end it. I feel so out of control with my personal life. All I want is to share my life with someone and I continue to find men who are needy, clingy, and demand my attention. It makes me feel like I am being a terrible person but beginning to think I am going to become cynical because I am not going to be able to trust. Just really don't know what to do anymore.

    Suggestions anyone?!

    Gemini

    6-5-70



  • I need to elaborate with Sagittarius: He broke it off with me because he said we weren't getting along which was news to me. But should have known because we have been through this 3 other times with him moving out each time. This last time he had been talking to a girl online for 2 days but has known for 2yrs. I know who she is. He had asked me to marry him several times which I told him I didn't want to and did not know when I would be ready and would prefer just to live together which I though he was fine with that up until 3 weeks ago. Now they are getting married. I am angry and feel stupid though I still would not marry him. I know I am just hurt but don't understand why it continues to happen to me.

    Now I met a 32yr old Scorpio but I have been totally up front with him. He says he can handle it but I have serious doubts. It totally blew me away when he wanted me to meet mom and dad...WTF I finally had to tell him that was not we discussed about going slow and exploring since I wasn't totally sure about my feelings at the moment since I was still trying to clean house of the Sagittarius.

    I think my F***** love life is out the window and in chaos or I am just still reeling from the break up.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated for this insane Gemini.



  • I'm not psychic but my observation is you just broke up with The Sag about 3 weeks ago and have moved on already? Maybe you just need some time to process the hurt and figure out what you really want with a relationship. It is painful but necessary to learn the lessons you came for.

    My second observation is thank your lucky stars, the angels and all that watch over you as you could have been the one getting married without really knowing the other person. You have nothing to feel stupid about. You were honest that you didn't want to marry. He obviously did and it appears to anyone who says yes. Feel sorry for him and bless him and love yourself enough to take care of you



  • Thanks for the insight. I know I should trust my first instinct but think I am being to hard on men about what I want out of life. I just haven't found that right guy. I have lots of energy and true to my sign and often find that I tend to intimidate but want the men in my life to understand that I am capable of taking care of myself but at the same time want to be loved for me and all the quirks I have. I try to be as honest as I can because I want them to know what they are getting into but wonder if I just turn them off. I have one good friend that I can talk to but he has his own problems to deal with and sometimes I don't know who to turn too just to get things off my chest. Once I have talked the problems out with several people then I can move on. Sad to say it can be that easy for me but I have only one life and I don't want to miss out on things but feel I continue to do so.

    Thanks again!



  • youre spending to much time with the "wrong person",, i thing.. you should limit your affections and expand,,,



  • So how do you limit your affections....I don't want to be cynical because there is so much to enjoy in this life. If you are saying don't give so much of myself to a person I know that isnt right for me then that is a practice I intend fully follow. Thanks



  • Take some yoga or do something that makes you focus for a period of time on you... You are like a stray bullet with a lot of internal pressure ricocheting around trying to find something to hit it off with... rest and relax and do not feel you need any man you can share love yes but need -- the only person you need is you.



  • Thanks. I have been told that by a friend that I need to meditate to focus. I have stressful job and have gotten out of exercising to relieve the stress. You are probably right about yoga or needing to meditate because I am so restless. Had a little set back today about the Sag accusing me of not liking kids. I never said I didn't like kids other than that they stressed me out because I wasn't around them enough. I wanted kids but the men in my life already had kids and didn't want anymore. Additionally I wanted kids but was dealt a hand that I would have to have help to have them. Now I just feel I am getting to old now. It just depresses me that perhaps I am too independent for my own good that I have trouble compromising. I just don't know any more and don't know what I need to do to change. Perhaps I am being too hard on myself and the men that try to love me. I just don't know!......