Captain I need some help here!

  • In the town we grew up in, my brother had a hand full of friends (Which were not kind to him at all), after he was done with his early years of school, he went on to college and went to a different town where he found friends that are so much better than the few he had back in our home town. Friends that don't get intoxicated, spend time with my brother socially(Opposed to just when they want something from him), and are there for him emotionally and physically. His new friends even have their lives on track for the future. My brother really seems to look up to his new friends (They're his age, but he does look up to them to a curtain extent). His old friends barely even answered his phone calls unless they where 'bored' (As they put it, they never put their plans on hold for him, but they always expected my brother to put his life on hold for them) His new friends aren't like that at all with him. But any time he's in our old town, he always seems to go back to his old friends (He only goes back to our old town about two or three times a year, but every time he does come back, he seems to end up hanging out with the old friends, even when he says he's going to avoid them) He does tend to have a problem with standing up to people, or dealing with conflict (I'm usually the opposite of him, so I always take up for him when things like this happen, his new friends have a lot of the same temperament and personality traits as I do, and they look out for him the same way I do) My brother has over come so much in his early life, and is doing so well with his new life he's created after graduation, why does he keep doing this to himself? Why won't he stand up to his old friends when they do wrong toward him? He doesn't deserve the things he puts himself through with his old friends. I don't know if he's afraid of being alone or what, but no matter what he says he just always ends up taking steps backwards when he goes to our old town. (His birthday is 7-9-91) Please help people with this. He doesn't deserve to put himself through this, and I can't stand to see him always being upset when he's in our old town (For personal reasons, he kind of has to go to our old town every now and then, but he doesn't have a reason to spend time with people who don't treat him right, no one deserves that) Is there any reason my brother puts himself through this that you're able to see through his birth chart? I really don't know what to do anymore about this.

  • Is your brother 7th September or 9th July?

  • July 9

    I didn't include his relationship problem he's had lately in the above post. But he's dated a few girls in the last two year, which haven't lasted with any success. He doesn't admit it, but I can tell each time a relationship doesn't last, he's a little broken up about it. I was wondering if his chart will tell whether or not he will find that special girl for him in the near future, or when/where/how he may meet this girl, or what she will be life, what sign she may fall under, what her appearance would be, what her name would be. I know a chart may not tell all these things, and that it's not a good idea to try to control love and destiny, but if there was any way to see the destiny in his future on any of this, it would really help a lot. I can't stand seeing my brother like this. You can probably tell I'm getting a little worked up over this, I'm a little upset over it I guess.

    Any reading you can provide would really mean a lot.

    Best wishes for your holiday season.

    • LC

  • Well, for a start your brother is only 20 - he still has a lot to learn, but you must let him learn it for himself. You love him but you cannot protect him from all evil - he has to find out how to do that on his own and how to recognise it. Don't stand in the way of him learning to stand on his own two feet and look after himself, even if he has to suffer in the process. Over-protection can be as harmful as not looking out for him at all. If you think of him as weak or defenceless, then he - being so sensitive to vibes - will sense your feelings and believe them. You must project at him that he is strong and capable of living life effectively. Can you honestly say there isn't a tiny part of you that wants him to depend and lean on you as his loving and devoted sibling? You have to stop seeing him as a little kid and help him to become an adult by treating him like one. Be there when he stumbles but don't prop him up all the time or he may nver walk on his own.

    By his astrological profile, I see that your brother is destined to overcome whatever obstacles he encounters in his own unique fashion. In fact, he can bring a real sense of fun to his life journey and is possessed of a lighter heart and generally less dour attitude towards achievement than many who travel the same life path. His natural affinity for unconventional people and his feelings of responsibility and duty to others will lead him to find the right people to help him in his development, but the circumstances that will bring him together with a mentor may be marked by a confluence of unusual circumstances, events, or conflicts. Personal discipline and proper training will help him in turning his often wild ideas and fantasies into tangible reality, yet he may not be marked for material abundance and reward until he bites the proverbial bullet and toughs out a few lean years. He must feed his need to escape by structuring regular, periodic vacations or time-outs in order to restore his sense of balance and refresh himself. His fulfillment will come from developing a few close associations with people in his chosen field or a similar one.

    Your brother is here to lay claim to an area of expertise and make it his own. Although money and ambition are attractive to him, his orientation is not necessarily materialistic. Rather, his aim is to develop a talent or skill to a level of mastery. This requires him to renounce or sacrifice other desires or interests in order to give all his energy to his prime focus. He is an unusual blend of idealist and realist, reserve and extroversion, and the serious and the comic - he is able to focus on his goal with savage intensity and anyone who gets in his way may be trampled underfoot. Once he perfects himself in his chosen skill or masters a particular talent, he then will face an even more difficult task, since true mastery requires manifesting a unique vision or using his talent in a unique way. Thus, he faces the challenge of bringing his vision or ideas into solid reality, while resisting the urge to over-work himself into the ground. Workaholism is a common tendency here. His core lesson is finding and studying with a mentor. His goal is mastering a craft or art, using his gifts of diligence, persistence, and persuasion.

    Your brother sets very high standards for himself and the quality of his work. And also for other people - his interpersonal relationships will often be fraught with overly high expectations. He will do best when attracting others of equal ability with whom he can work on his projects. He has a need to prove himself over and over again in his own eyes and those of his associates - even those whom he might not consider real friends. it's not about them - it's about proving to himself his equal worth to them. He will thrive not only on the responsiblity of being a role model but also on demonstrating his ability to give of himself in a warmhearted manner, especially to those who may not deserve it. By being nicer than to them than they are to him, he knows he is the better person. Your brother will always be acutely aware of how he appears to others and will cherish his image highly. The importance of his commitment to the standards of his craft and life is one that he will gradually realize - he will come to value it highly and it may even become the cornerstone of his existence. Probably the hardest thing for him is to be thought badly of by others or having accusations of shoddy workmanship, or underhanded or immoral methods leveled against him. A social forum for his ideas or work, whether comprised of professional colleagues or just plain friends, is just the ticket for this work-oriented guy. In fact, it may be a basic requirement for his happiness and fulfillment. He also has a rather charming 'common touch' that will give him the ability to make others laugh, or at the very least smile, at his characterization of human foibles.

    It is undeniable that your brother will rarely surrender his need to focus his all on his work. Thus, he may give up on meeting one single life partner. So much of his energy will be shared with colleagues, friends, and even followers that the dynamics of such relationships can often satisfy his social and personal needs fully. What he really deep down wants is not so much a partner but an environment in which to feel safe, protected, cared for, and doted on - a place where he feels he truly belongs. He has been looking for this for most of his young life and it had often led him into the wrong company. To achieve his dream, he must be willing to let go of the idea that one special person - or a group of people - is going to provide it just because he thinks he needs it. Instead, he must take charge of creating what he needs for himself. By pursuing a goal that energises him, or by finding an ideal or set of principles that builds his self-respect, he will develop feelings of belonging in whatever circumstances he finds himself. He needs to find a focus beyond his scattered emotional needs and those of the people around him. When he brings himself into alignment with a higher principle or spiritual belief, he will feel protected and nurtured.

    His Achilles' Heel is dependence. The desire to be taken care of ("If there's no one to take care of me, I won't survive") can lead him into the trap of an unending search for security, where he develops emotional dependencies on others. But he can never get enough reassurance from others to feel safe, so he never gains the security he thinks he needs to be a capable adult and take charge of his life. He must run the risk and take charge of his own life and security, assuming full responsibility for the consequences, and creating what he needs for himself. Once he takes responsiblity for himself, and finds a goal that's important to him and stands by it, he will feel secure and in control of his own destiny.

  • That is true. I won't say I 'enjoy' him depending on me. I guess I'm just so used to it. Us having almost opposite personalities, we always seemed to grow up doing everything together (We really balance each other out. He calms me down when I over react in a situation or get mad, and I'm the stubborn confrontational one when someone is trying to take advantage of him(In the situations he doesn't want to disappoint anyone who's around him). We're almost opposites, but we get along really well, and have a lot of the same tastes and interests. I haven't ever admitted it to him, I'm not even sure if he realizes it or not, but he's not just a brother to me, he's my best friend (No matter how many people call me their best friend, and even if I'm not my brothers best friend, I do see him as MY best friend). I've encouraged him numerous times to go out on his own into the unknown (To new towns/states/places he's never been before) I've always been to type to go out into the unknown and grow from it, and he does talk about wanting to go out into the unknown, he just doesn't want to do it alone. And it's not that I'm trying to send him off into the unknown to get rid of him, or that I'm trying to get him out of my life; I would just rather him go out and grow as a person and take everything life has to offer him. I'd give up my seeing him nearly everyday just to have him happy and evolving as a person. Life has so much more to offer than one location.

    Do you think encouraging him to go out into the unknown world (Towns/Places he's never been before) on his own will be a good idea to help him become more independent?

  • Oh, and thank you for taking the time out of your Christmas holiday to respond to my posts above. I wish the best for you and your family.

  • That might be your way (moving about a lot) but it may not suit him or make him happy. Just encourage him to be independent and strong and then let him find his own way to learn about life.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Log in to reply