My wife needs a hobby, bad help!



  • Wife needs a hobby !

    I am in need of an idea of a hobby for my wife. She is an inside person except the

    beach but, only if its sunny and warm but not alone. She wants someone with her no matter what she is doing so if im working on something in another room or garage or outside, she doesn’t like it. She wants me in the same room.. if someone else is there like my son then she is fine. She is kind of introverted so going out to meet new people or groups is out.

    She doesn’t have much drive, mostly she is into famous people and their lives via books , e channel, interviews, Biography’s ect.. She wants to watch movies all weekend.. she often says, I got us several movies to watch This weekend !. With nothing to occupy her

    Mind she gets fixated on things like whats wrong with the house like , theres a spot on the carpet, or the porch needs painting or theres clutter in the garage. The boat is in the driveway, hide it .. we have too many cars, sell one ! I can see the treehouse from the back deck, what if someone comes over and see’s it, it looks terrible why did you trim the trees? Now you can see it too good. The counter top is too dark we need a new one ! On and on and on ! help ! please.

    she takes a lot of pictures at tourist things and family/friend get together times but not really anything else other than sunsets if she is at the beach.. Also she is very limited in the tech area and has no interest in learning or even reading the manual. If there was something I could get her into that Could be shared with a friend that keeps her interest like making something that they can Progress with and add their own ideas would be great. With video chats it seems like there should be a good club or hobby to do where she can find a talent and feel good Without having to have someone with her at all times. Her sun sign is Pisces , usually they have a talent but I don’t know it with her and neither does she… other than being lazy and dreaming about livin the life of a celebraty.

    I have taken in some old furniture to refinish for our bedroom but that’s too much like work for her, she would rather I let her buy something and be done with it !

    any ideas ? thanks much for lending an ear.



  • My mother is a Pisces and she is exactly like your wife. She lives life second-hand through watching TV and movies and reading magazines. Thus, her opinions are always based on someone else's. Basically she is afraid of life so she stays at home for fear of going out into the world. I think this is about more than just getting a hobby for your wife. She needs to overcome her fears of being left alone and of going out into the world and experiencing life first-hand. Maybe try counselling or even trying to get to the bottom of what has scared her into this state yourself?



  • thanks captain, dang ! i was afraid of that. she 's not even remotely interested in talking to someone, any suggestion of counseling she takes it like you think something is wrong with her.

    i guess i am wasting my time trying to find that gift that will keep her interest and make her happy.

    maybe there is a book that has a celebrity with the same problem ! lol i guess its time for scotty to beam me or her up !



  • My mother has only responded to me and other family members pressing her to open up and talk about her fears and anything bad in her past. She fears and doesn't trust speaking to strangers, even professionals.



  • Have I got a hobby for your wife? It is a form of embroidery done one stitch at a time. It's easy to learn and it's addictive. WEEEEEEE! Just remember two things:

    1. Need has nothing to due with it.

    2. Too much is never enough.d

    Cross stitchers collect things. Fabric snd floss are called stash. Patters are collected for their mirth and beauty. Then there are all the lovely toos. I collect dec orative thimbles, embroidery scissor (I have three pairs that I use), and I keep buying more.

    Here's the best part: it's addictive, it's therapy in a bag, and best of all, you want to connect with other stitchers! I'm telling you, It's great.

    What do you think?



  • The sign Pisces is often gifted with artistic talent, so why not suggest she take a painting or pottery class? There is probably a civic center or art museum nearby that offers classes for all ages and backgrounds. This is also something she could bring a friend or family member along to do, too. She'll probably meet new people as well. She could discover a hidden talent, or at least meet new friends and spend time with loved ones! (It's also good to remember that almost always with those kind of classes, it's okay if you're not the next Van Gogh)!

    If she doesn't like that idea, perhaps suggest volunteering at a soup kitchen or something like that. Pisces generally love to help other people and are one of the most caring and compassionate signs. If you present these ideas in a way that you show her you really care about her happiness and well-being, you'll likely succeed! Good luck, and best wishes!



  • I'm afraid that the approach of YOU telling your wife what she should do will come across the wrong way. It's as if you are telling her you think there is something wrong with her and you are trying to fix her. It will sound judgmental, arrogant, and condescending. She does have hobbies -- watching movies, reading magazines with articles about the hollywood stars, etc. Just because you don't enjoy these things does not mean they are not valid. The real problem is that she wants you to spend more time with her than you want to, correct? All of her hobbies are home-y things and she wants you to be there with her for these things. All of your hobbies involve you spending time without her. So the real problem is she wants to be with you 24/7 and you do not. Instead of trying to tell her what she should do as a hobby, why don't you just approach the situation honestly? Tell her that you need alone time and the two of you need to come to a compromise as you are both on opposite ends of the spectrum at the moment. And then when you do spend time with her, do it whole-heartedly. Not like a caged animal trying to escape or a prisoner waiting for parole (lol). If she struggles with the time spend without you while you are doing your thing, then encourage her to discover her own thing instead of trying to force feed it to her.



  • It look like your wife has fear of lonelyness, and at the same time fear of being around people- a difficult combination. She must have had some tough experiences as a child, which made her feel safe only in a presence of a caretaker. Generally speaking I agree with Watergirl's suggestion of honest conversation, but I think there are some strategies you can use to make it easier for your wife. One of them you've suggested yourself - make her associate with some celebrity with similar problem, preferably the one who has overcome it. You can discuss the issue openly and buy her this celebrity's biography. That could be a start. I would also recommend a very good book called "Feel the fear and do it anyway", by Susan Jeffers, but you can't force it on her. Good luck !



  • thanks all , i will write you back soon. yall are great !