duke78 last edited by
I have to admit, I don't read the forum very frequently, but lately I've been seeing the topics and I keep seeing Cancer-this, Cancer-that, Cancers a baby, Cancer doesn't communicate, so on and so on, and this barrage of problems and grievances and misunderstandings and the like... Heres a question for everybody to ponder: If Cancer is misunderstood, that is to say, that you misunderstand a Cancer, does it mean that the Cancer is at fault or does it mean that your inability to understand Cancer is a shortcoming on your part??... i.e. just because you cant understand me/communicate to and with me/relate to me/handle me doesn't make me defective (and I mean me figuratively, not personally). Sometimes, and actually I would argue most times, people's problems lie WITHIN themselves, and not outside of them. Feel free to discuss thoroughly, I'd really love to hear everybody's opinion.
Well if I could get my Cancer guy to communicate at all... That would be a start in the right direction..... If/When I do see him... him tells me everything that is going on in less than 15 minutes.... and then leaves me with "Talk to you Soon"..... That statement alone... may mean that he will talk to me in 25 years or so.....
No this is definitely a Cancer problem... and not mine... I have asked on a number of occassions.. to have time to get past our trust issues.... Which he brought into our relationship BTW..... Trust was never a problem before he decided to disrespect me......
Totally 100% his doing...in my case at least... I know it and he knows it... Just saying
Flowsco last edited by
Most signs gets a beat up on this forum. It boils down to period of the year that a sign is more "active" in people lives. So yes as you stated..Cancer this and that. Then if you give it a couple of weeks you will see another sign get the podium. Popular are Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo, Taurus, Gemini..and sometimes Libra. Yet who knows which one will be added to the growing list.
I personally think it has to do with the maturity of the writer. If they after asking their question fully understand what is going on within their own lives and relationship. Everyone want instant gratification and life isn't about that. Never is and never will be.
You run into a possible partner and you get lessons to be learned. And it's up to you if you do. And learning lessons doesn't mean running and saying that the other person is the ugliest human being you have runned into. You need to always take a step back and look at everything also to your own defects to get a total picture.
Everything is a chain reaction. If I say boo...you might say ..aaaahh or look at me like I am crazy. Similarity in relationship/situations you will always have simply because we are human.
What is often forgotten is the power of the spoken/written AND the unspoken word (thoughts). Because once uttered it mostly manifest itself. One see that right away and mostly long after.
Ofcourse you can ask an opinion or a reading ..yet nothing is set in stones because you can get an honest or bittered response. The big question remains what do you do with what is shared with you.
Anyways..this was my 2 cent.
Oh Duke i hear u loud n clear. I too at times get fed up with the complaints about cancer men. off bat seeing ur subject i wanted to say, ok so u have bashed whined complained on cancer man BUT now i wish to ask ya, WTH have u done toward him?
too often when we´re annoyed fed uop with someone we TEND to place the blame on them. We FORGET, much to easily, to look at our OWN actions.
I was given a NASTY wake up call that made me face my own actions cruelly n i SAW what i had done to contribute to the mess. I SAW i had been a selfish racing no care for anyone else including the man i wanted like a hare. I was selfish, dismissing his wishes wants n all, All that mattered was what i wanted, needed, n had to have.
Short i selfsabotaged it for meself. So with the wake up call i realized if i dont change, i wont NEVER get a guy on my hook so to say. not in a MILLION of years.
I changed to the tortoise, the aninmal that goes through the race slow, carefully, observant, patient, n ever so considerate, Listening, going at a pace that allow me to get to know men properly in a good slow with out expectations that were once as high as to the darn milky way.
this change, this hard ugly look at nmy own actions has gotten me further than i never believed possible.
So yes like u i at times wanna say to the whiners, ok what have u done to him, n dont tell me u havent done anytthing bc then u are not only lying to me but to urself as well.
so thanx 4 shouting fire Duke!
sweetgem29 last edited by
I have noticed a lot of Cancer negativity and wondered why? I am glad to see that our signs come and go based on the time of year. When I first came here, I saw a lot of Gemini negativity. Go figure.
How anyone can be negative about a Taurus is beyond me though.
Flowsco You said above
"I personally think it has to do with the maturity of the writer. If they after asking their question fully understand what is going on within their own lives and relationship. Everyone want instant gratification and life isn't about that. Never is and never will be."
Let me tell you that I am a nanosecond away from retirement.... He came after me and not the other way around. I kicked him to the curb... and continued to do so... for over 4 years now... I don't give a crap$ a$$ if he ever comes around... His loss.. and he knows it... at this point...
I have told him umpteem time to go elsewhere.. ie.. take it up with some other women... because I do not accept his game playing... Pure and simple.... He needs to make a decision and either move forward... or leave me alone... This is also plain and simple....
I have ZERO problem... stating what I feel.. and act upon it... accordingly... He on the other hand speaks from both sides of his month... Just saying...
We have Never Ever been physically intimate... yet he continues to try to get in touch with me...Why????
imo.. he needs to get on with his life.. and leave me alone... But No.. that is no the way he operates apparently....
Please tell me how to rid myself of this Cancer Child????ince you are so enlightened in this area..Just saying... I need answers!!!!
Where is the edit button???? Oh my lord... Hope you all can put the proper word to the last post... lol
Flowsco last edited by
First off my response was a general one towards Duke...and so it was just that.
Secondly you being near retirement have absolutely nothing to do with lessons that a person at any age has to learn before you physically leave this planet.
I don’t know your history with this particular gentleman because I stopped reading most of the relationships questions placed on this forum simply because there are enough other people aiding each other.
And so just responding to your question how to get rid of him....well clearly he sees something in you that he thinks....he needs to go through with because no one sticks around for 4 years especially when being pushed away in the way you described.
For you saying you have ZERO problems made me smile. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be asking how to get “rid” of a person ....for a simple mind... I would say you experience this as a problem.
I think he admires who you are and probably wants some of what you are or have...to rub off on him. A void of some sort. Other women in his eyes don’t match up as you do. I think if he found one he would have been gone in a heartbeat and let me tell you something being intimate isn’t the only way to be close in your heart to someone.
You need answers...and you already have them. I would suggest penning down how this relationship have evolved...and be fair and honest...with that I mean the good and the bad all together from both ends. Then put it aside for a few days and go back to what you have written and discover the why and how. It will surprise you that it might have nothing to do with him and the current situation...and probably with something you need to sort out on another level in your life.
As for him having access to you is something else you would have to sort out if you truly deep down don’t want anything with him. Simple as that.
I stand corrected ... Thank you... and I understand. Be safe
TaurusFemmeFatale last edited by
I agree with Duke78.
After getting some great afvice on my thread about dealing with Cancer men, I realized that some of the faults lied with me.
...And I'm a stubborn Taurus
If I can admit I'm wrong, then the other zodiac signs shouldn't consider this a problem.
It has begun again. quite a few bash cancer males based solely on their star sun sign. completely disregard it´s a tiny speck of the whole male.
read more on the today i wanna wack ..................
LittleHarmonica last edited by
I feel as though I very much understand my Cancer male friend... And I think that scares the s**t out of him. I know his faults, and in conversation (we Pisces are very inquisitive) and in me being honest about my past, he has also shared some very terrible things he has done to past women he has been with. We have both been very open with one and other. I know when he needs to be alone, I know when he is depressed just by the look in his eyes, I know when he needs a little extra reassurance, I know when he just wants to be silly and have fun... I feel like I know all he is going through internally, he suffers. Cancer men have so much depth. The one thing I don't know, is if he loves me as much as I love him.
I hear ya littleharmonica. Thats how i know mine as well. I believe it+s the telepathy thats going on that helps us with them. I´d also like to add INTUITION. N if all LEARNT how to use it, they wouldn´t whine about em n smack em under the dang BUS!!!!!
I get inkling when he needs to know i aint gonna go nowhere, that im here for him no matter what time of day or night it is. I also know when he needs encouragements. I also know when to curse him out as in taking him down a notch or two hahaahahahaahah
We have a special friendship. N i know what he knows of me, he loves very very much. We have repect for each other.