Help with reading -What Relationship Would Be Like
Also just asked the cards if he is the right guy for me and got
I take it from the death card that its a no?
MariaRia - just a quick note (I have to work early tomorrow and need to get to bed). Saw "R" tonight (not without incredible complications in him finally getting here - but he did make it). We had a nice talk. I think that this one statement he made says a lot about where his head and heart are at with things: "I know that you gave me an easy way out of all of this a few weeks ago, but what you need to start paying more attention to is actions instead of words". He said he clearly took my message as: "if you want out of this relationship then get out."
Now, without even having to say it, there he was sitting right next to me, so, knowing what I do about him, and it's getting clearer all the time, the point is that when this man says or does something that's all there is to it. He was telling me that he means what he says and what he does is a reflection of that. If he wanted out, he would be out. He also said he really wasn't quite sure why I stayed with him - what I saw in him. (That Virgo insecurity.)
An interesting side-note was that he claims that I have had everything to do with him facing his own truths and trying to quit living lies in his own life. Hmmm, would be interesting to know how that sense of "truth" translates in his thoughts/actions within his marriage, lol.
One step at a time I suppose. Anyway, I'm going to go back and review a couple of my previous readings and see if our conversation casts any different light on things. In a nutshell though, he said he would see me today and he kept his word, he's not running off and doesn't appear to be planning on it, but he's not talking about the future between us either. Nor did I bring it up. Mabye only because, as a practical matter, who ever does know where a relationship is headed really? Even if we didn't have all of our complications, it wouldn't change our inability to ever really know where things are headed. I love/hate him for his apparent ability to just ground himself in reality and stick to the matters at hand.
Ok, I must go, but wanted to give you an update. I'll do a sort of "follow up" reading too, to see if our little talk has now altered anything, or if there is reinforcement of any earlier themes, but not tonight, just going to let things be and "process" all of it for now. Goodnight!
Jenever- Your take on 'why your together' makes a lot of sense. Closed heart is a VERY good description of the two of swords. Actually, I think I will adopt that as one of its meanings from now on.
I'm really happy for you. I'm happy you were able to talk to him, and I'm happy he's being open (relatively, lol) with you. If you think about it, what the cards said makes sense. You have to wonder, though, if it's all come true yet. This is the tricky thing about tarot, unless you're specific, you have no idea what the time frame is on the answer you get. Though, this conversation essentially was what you were asking about, so I guess the fact that you got together could represent the chariot....though I don't think anything has actually changed. He did seem to complete a goal, though, and that was making you feel much more secure with your situation. THough it is still undefined, you have to realize because he's married it's almost impossible for him to tell you what's going to happen in your future.
The only thing I'm worried about for you, is him suddenly chickening out and not having enough guts for a divorce. I want you to ask yourself (though im sure you have, many times) how long you can handle being the 'other woman' in his life.
I'm trying to remember the rest of the readings....but they pretty much all had an undertone of thinking. Now i'm wondering if the 4 of cups didn't represent him just being like "ugh, I don't need to think this over, I know the answer already". Which is still 'idle', just not an 'i dont care' idle, its a 'i dont need to think about this' idle.
As for my reading, your bang on. He had a girlfriend who cheated on him, but it does seem like he's dated after that (or tried to...) and it's never worked out. It's hard to ask him these questions...not so much because he won't tell me, but because we work together and rarely have private moments where I can ask him these things. Yesterday I worked with him, and as usual, I noticed him watching me when he thought he could get away with it. This behavior is almost unfathomable to an Aries. I literally...almost cannot believe it because I can't understand it. Like i CANT understand.
Sky08 -Wow man, you're really giving me a workout. Okay, I'll do one reading for now, cause my mind is really turning into mush. I had no idea it was so taxing doing so many readings, lol.
So, for the 'what can i do to improve the situation', I think it's telling you to fix past anxieties in your relationship to help improve the indecisiveness that seems to be going on. Obviously his decision has to do with your past relationship, which here is represented by the 6 of cups. Like I said before, I think he's worried your relationship will just end up the same as it previously did -over, and probably leaving him hurting. Cancer's are sensitive to that. Show him that you are around for good this time. Give him a reason to believe you. It doesn't have to be anything big, but lots of little things. It'll prompt him into making a decision faster, or making a decision at all.
ok, I promise not to give you any more readings to analyse, besides if I do anymore I will just end up confusing myself! lol. I have to say that what you have come upn with has been really good though. I haaven't a clue, how to make him see that I am genuinely around for good this time, besides telling him about my feelings and paying him compliments which I have already done. I also don't leave it too long after he contacts me, to contact him back, just so that he knows I am genuinely interested. That kind of is it in a nutshell, I think from what I have heard from himself and some of the people who know him is that he definetly has feelings for me, but I think he is very apprehensive about getting involved in a relationship with me. As I said though problem is I feel a little stuck as I really really want to be with him and don't want to be with anyone else, I really want to make this work with him as the feelings that I have for him haven't gone away. If things have got too much and I have tried to go away, he pulls me back and if I do just try and move on with someone else then he would be thinking that he was right all along and besides I don't think it would be right to be with someone else when i'm clearly in love with this guy anyway.
Well, see, these things take time (as im slowly starting to realize. Damn us Aries folk and our impatience.) I think slowly, over a period of time, if you just let him see your sincere care for him and his wellbeing, you won't have to do much else. Maybe try sitting him down and have a conversation with him about your future? I know that's a lot easier said then done, but it might help.
As for your other reading, yes or no question are always hard to answer with tarot. I never see Death as a negative card. It just means the end of something and the beginning of something else. So....I think maybe it's saying the way things are in your relationship will change and become a lot more emotional? Your going from Pentacles to two Cups court cards. I don't know if this is actually answering your question....I don't see it as a definitive answer.
Okay. I need help.
I know it isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I've come to that conclusion, and I've accepted it. However....I want to know, if he's just being a Cancer or if he's being a playboy. There are two main things that I want to clear up in order to know the answer to this question. First...why the EFF does he keep staring me down? Why does he keep sneaking glances at me? Is he being manipulative or can he just not help himself? So, I asked the cards why he stares, and I got:
8 Of Pents
So, the only card that confuses me is the hermit. Its kind of random....I mean, if he wants to be alone, then why would he try to get my attention? With the rest of the cards, I feel like he's trying to hold back sexual urges, and I guess staring is too hard a thing to control. Which I agree with...sometimes it's impossible.
The second question has to do with this other girl. I noticed yesterday (and a while ago, too) that when she's around, if he's talking to me, he'll turn around and try and keep her included in the conversation. A few days ago, I was talking to him, and he kept looking at her as he talked to me. That was the day I got depressed and figured he liked her and it's all over. But then yesterday, he did the same thing to her. He'd be talking to her, and I'd come in and he'd stop looking at her and kind of turn away, then address me, or maybe just stop talking to her. So, I want to know....why is he doing this? Is he keeping his options open, or is he trying to spare both our feelings? So I asked, "Why, when I'm talking to J and A is around, does he look at her?" and I got:
Page of Cups
Queen of Wands
Ace of Swords
So...with the Queen of wands, thats 'my card'. However, I've thought about it, and although I don't know her that well she seems like she could be a QoW also. So...maybe it represents both of us? Now that I look at it, it could mean...the affection from the Queen of Wand(s) is making him realize that he needs to control himself? Which means he's not being a total playing douchebag? How would you interpret this??
MariaRia – I have my boys back for the week so short on free time, but wanted to respond to your readings. Hermit is introspection here, not that he wants to be alone – demonstrated by the fact that he’s drawing your attention, even though he’s making no move, he is thinking about things , 8 Pentacles is diligence and focus – he IS paying attention, Strength is patience and self-control and again I have a sense that he’s thinking good thoughts…but taking his time…thinking, the Devil to me says that you’re keeping him hooked! He has "those" thoughts about you, if ya know what I mean, lol. I think you’ve struck him on a very deep level here and he’s “processing”, and I think you’re right, he's probably feeling his urges getting the better of him. (Wasn’t clear on the level of intimacy between you, but if it’s strong then this all makes sense.)
Second reading, about the other woman, I see him trying to be nice to everyone, he doesn’t mean to offend either one of you and he apparently knows that he is confronted by two women who both have an interest in him (I recall a definition of the Q of Wands being a “woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it”). Ace of Swords he’s trying to keep things straight all across the board and maintain objectivity, you are in a work situation, after all, on top of all of this. I think that as a Cancer myself, it’s really hard for me to keep this angle out of all my thoughts in your readings. Cancers are diligent and dedicated when it comes to work and frankly I’m surprised he even entertains this level of involvement with coworkers. What is your position compared to him? Is he at a higher level than you or equal? Same level as this other woman or equal? Going forward when questions involve other coworkers it would help to know their status compared to him as I think it would help me discern what his behavior really means. (Take full advantage of my Cancer-ness to get the most out of your readings, lol.) Strength again…he’s trying to keep the waters smooth all the way around, stay composed, not leading anyone in any direction…the sense in my mind is that he’s trying to stay “professional” which makes very good sense.
If I can offer one bit of general advice here, since I'm thinking about the whole "work" aspect, be very careful to never let your emotional stuff spill over and affect your work relationships. Don't make your interest in him the subject of office gossip. If it's within your realm of self-control, don't tell ANYONE at work EVER that you two have anything going on. If it goes far enough, you can surprise them all some day and send them a wedding invitation, lol.
Seriously, you have a double whammy going on here of a Cancer valuing private feelings and valuing the world that gives him financial security. A precarious balance. I can tell you I have only ever been involved with a coworker once, and the only way I agreed was that he was sworn to secrecy. It's probably not worth trying to explain in detail why this is such a big deal, just remember that Cancer's thrive on security in all it's forms. Money brings security. I understand what you said about his reluctance to go with the 9-5 grind, sigh....this is where it gets so hard to explain...but you have to trust me that his "flights of freedom" are short-term and long term this guy wants to succeed (I go through these same cycles myself). If he is currently committed to the job/company he is working for and you affect his standing at work I'm 90% sure he'll kick you to the curb. NOT saying you would, just offering you some Cancer insight, lol. If he's in a job that is just a stop along the way to a better job (I see myself like this right now) then he's probably not as sensitive about all this. If he's on a serious career path with this company, then you better take that seriously too.
I'm going to run another reading past you on "R" but I'm formulating my question. One thing I'm reminded of as I watch how things are going between you and Sky is that focus is everything and asking too many questions that are perhaps too similar can potentially cloud, rather than clarify matters. I remember when I bought my Tarot deck (gosh, 26 years ago now, lol and still using the same deck!) the shop-owner's last words were "remember not to overuse the cards; asking the same question in a day won't give you any better answers".
So I'll get back with you with mine. Really I think all three of us seem to be in a similar place of just being patient at this point and giving things time to play out for a while in our situations. Although it's always nice to try to get a glimpse of what's going on in our guys' minds, lol. Expect that that will be the dirction I'll go, haha.
Jenever, I love you. I'm so glad I made this stupid post, LOL. You've really helped me out a lot. And I hope I've helped you, too.
To answer your questions, this is just a 'stop along' job. Though, I understand his want of security, and I share it with him. I don't want ANYONE to know ANYTHING. Which is what makes it so hard to act the way I want to around him. It's too obvious. But somehow, people started assuming things. I never told anyone and he never told anyone, and suddenly rumors were flying that we were gonna hook up and stuff. Not that we WERE hooking up, but that we were going to. I asked them why they would think that, and one's guys answer was "You guys would look so good together."
So....yah. Like I have one bartender constantly asking me if we've slept together yet. I don't understand where they're getting this from. But he doesn't seem to mind. I talked to him about it, and he told me to just brush it off. They just wanted gossip. So now I feel like I have to be extra careful how much I talk to him and stuff, because it'll just fuel the fire. But it does seem to have died down completely (with everyone but the bartender).
I want to tell you one other thing. I asked the cards what he likes about me and what he doesnt like about me. In an attempt to improve the relationship. I want to show you 'what he likes about me', because I feel like I know what it means.....but I'm not sure.
9 of Wands
6 of Swords
2 of Cups.
So....9 of wands, holding my ground, 6 of swords...leaving a rough situation, but in this case I felt like it meant 'continuing' and then 2 of cups...relationship. So, am I being too like....positive, when I assume that this means that he's happy I haven't given up yet? I have been doing a lot of readings, but this time I actually have a goal. Usually I just want to know random stuff, but now I want a complete idea of wtf is going on. So...I apologize if I'm tossing lots of readings at you. You've given me a really good idea, so far. I also intend to pick your Cancer brain
Send me a reeaaddinngg!
MariaRia - I just went with "what is 'R' thinking about our relationship in general right now?", my usual 7 card spread (I just find this one so easy to work with, sorry I'm in such a spread-rut).
Knight of Wands
Queen of Swords
5 of Cups
10 of Cups
Ace of Swords
3 of Pentacles
I'm seeing the emotionalism and the potential extreme energies of the Knight of Wands (the unknowns of how our recent conversation would play out perhaps) was brought under control by rationalism and honesty. Perhaps the Queen suggests that I was more the one driving the outcome than I realized? I see the 5 of cups reflecting the diasppointment of our situation (aww, I miss him too, lol), but still there is the peace to be found with knowing that we are taking care of our children and family matters. I'm liking the Strength and Ace of Swords combination - proceeding with compassion, control and courage and a fresh start grounded in truth...keeping things open and honest going forward now?
The 3 of Pentacles is always a boring card to me, but if I'm realistic this may be the most exciting card I've gotten concerning him. He's envisioning teamwork now, "taking care of business", working towards a common goal, and cooperation. I think that given my history of emotional outbursts in our relationship, I should pay attention to this as a very reassuring card for me - telling me that he's feeling like I'll stabilize now and we can work more as a team.
That Ace of Swords tells me too that he IS feeling the responsibility of being the leader in all of this. That was such a critical matter to him and came out very strongly again in our conversation. He actually admitted that he has "manipulated" some of our conversations if he thought that I was being too demanding or attmepting to manipulate him to get what I want without giving consideration to what his situation is. Good grief, I've never known a man like this - who could just look me in the eye and say, "look, if you try to manipulate me for your selfish purposes I will not hesitate to do the same back". (I cannot deny that much of our struggle is ME just wanting to have more of him, be more of his life and pushing him in whatever way I find necessary to get that - and it's just not possible given the circumstances. I think that's what he simply wants me to accept right now is that "everything is fine" but this is where things stand right now.)
This is the sort of thing that caused me to need to spend a couple of days "processing" my thoughts about what he said. He's so mental and deep and so accurate in his analysis, and he's operating at a level of mental self-control that when all put together it's a very strange place for emotional-little-me to get my head around. What I love about him IS that he is so grounded, it makes my heart feel really safe. My conflict is not having that all the time. Then he is like, but you do have me, not like I'm leaving you. Argh!
As you mentioned MariaRia, the danger is that he will chicken out someday (although it's getting harder to imagine it as I start to understand more about how his mind works - such clarity of purpose in him - hard for me to explain here), but I'm going to let the dust settle here, just let things go and actually make an effort on my side to keep things positive and stable, calm my insecure outbursts, and when the time is right, I'm simply going to ask him where things are at with his wife. Does he still envision them divorcing in 4 years - maybe we're down to 3 and a half years, lol, the time is passing in all of this and I realized today it's been 7 months now since we first met. Given your spread maybe it's less...that Tower and all...but that is out of my hands and I'm not going to let it affect my actions unless somehow it comes into play affecting me. He told me early on that he and his wife live like roomates - which, if that's believable it dilutes some of that sense of being "the other woman". I think that's what he's trying to get me to understand; that he's not into his wife, he's not having other affairs, he's in his marriage for his kids and he's in our relationship for me. In a twisted way, it's like he wants me to view HER as "the other woman".
He admitted that I have had EVERYTHING to do with him taking a look at his own life and evaluating what is truth in his world and about living with lies. I didn't dare explore what that really meant because we had traversed so much territory already it was getting kind of draining. There wasn't any chance we were going to "solve all the world's problems" in that one conversation and I thought it was most important to make sure we were okay right now with no big speculations on the future. But I did take it optimistically that he would admit that his goal really is to live his life in truth and that he was right there with me, looking me in the eye and saying it. I'm just going to trust that he knows what he's doing with me right now, and as I say, when the time "feels" right, I'm just going to ask him where his heart is at on things. Or who knows, maybe he'll surprise me and just start talking more about such things on his own. I think I rattled his trust in me with all of my pressuring things towards some resolution lately and caused him to put up a little wall here. I expect I need to prove myself for a while before that goes away completely.
But I appreciate you thinking about my welfare. You have become a special friend to me in all of this and I will be forever grateful for these interactions we have - sorting out our situations and ourselves! Lol.
Let me know if you have any additional insights on this reading.
Oh wow, I see him admiring that you defend yourself and you're not afraid to "sail" away to something else if it means bettering your situation. The two of cups tells me he likes that about you. As I said, Cancers are all about security. People who know where they stand and who are willing to stand up for themselves are Gold to us. So stable, so appealing because we are such a wreck I suppose. I'm not saying you are belligerent about it, but I think he senses a solid strength in you that he really finds appealing. You're not wishy-washy and you can make up your own mind. Nice though, that reading was actually very surprising considering some of the uncertainty of previous impressions I had about him. Maybe he's not a jerk....
Ok, have to deal with my boys, I'll check back tonight.
So, for the past, I get a feeling of 'no communication'. Which is interesting, because from what you've told me he's always telling you that you're the one and he doesn't like his wife, etc etc. The reason I say that is because to me, the knight of wands is a very flightly, extravagant figure who is just in it for the fun and doesn't intend to stick around. The Queen of Swords is very guarded of what she says and her emotions. The two together makes me think that maybe he realizes that he wasn't thorough enough with how he treated your relationship. That maybe you thought that he wasn't serious about you, and that he was holding back his feelings or information you needed to feel secure? Which was true. You wouldnt have been asking the tarot questions, or making that thread about virgo's if you were totally sure of what was going on.
For the present, it seems like he still feels disappointment with how things are going and whats happened (as you said.) but he seems to know that it's not over and he still has the comfort of your relationship.
For the future, I also love the strength and ace of swords combo. I really like the ace of swords card, it reminds me of cutting through bullshit and getting to the truth. So, he obviously intends to get a grip on things and let you know exactly how it is from now on, especially knowing what the consequences of not doing so are, LOL!
3 of pentacles, in my opinion, is a great card. As the 7th card, I get the impression he feels like you guys have made it to a new level in your relationship. Your working on the foundation, and moving up from there. It's a card of stability in the basis of a relationship or business venture. The funny thing is, there are thee people in this card, and there are three people in your situation....perhaps this talks about things becoming more solid and clear for him as to who has what role in his life?
Over all, this is the most positive reading I've seen about what he's thinking so far. Your conversation obviously had a good effect on him. I love that he admitted that he was manipulating you....lol that Magician card was spot on. At least it wasn't out of purely malicious intentions...though 'getting you back' isnt exactly the greatest motivation, LOL.
Also, I agree with you when you say that he put up a wall because you were pressuring him into a conclusion. I think the scariest thing about affairs, for the one who is cheating, is that the person they are with will suddenly snap one day and demand a divorce right then and there or they'll "go straight to the wife". It's a scary thought...unless he looks like he's getting too comfortable 'having his cake and eating it too', don't give him the impression you're going to do that. I'm sure he's paranoid of it.
I'm glad you put your foot down, though. Even though im sure it's been stressful, it is a very good thing for him to know that he cant get too comfortable having a wife and a 'mistress'. If he's serious about you, and not serious about his wife, the intention to fix things has to be there and stay there.
LOL I'm glad you think he isn't a jerk, because I was getting worried that maybe I was wrong about him and he was one. But from the way you interpret my readings, it seems like he really is just being....well, cautious and calculating. I want to give you two more readings today, and im sorry i've been throwing so many at you, especially when you've got your kids. Feel free to take your time.
I asked 'what he doesnt like about me'. I got a very confusing answer:
3 of cups, The Empress, 8 of Pentacles.
This is freaky, because a while ago (months ago) i asked what he feels for me, and my answer was the 8 of pentacles, the empress, and the emperor. So...suddenly he doesnt like the same traits he liked before?
I get the three of cups. He doesn't like how many directions my attention goes, I guess. There are a lot of guys at work who flirt with me, and I honestly do my best NOT to flirt back....but I guess that doesnt help. I mean, he told me once that every guy at work would give up a part of their body to be with me the way we were. Does that make him feel insecure?
The Empress....confuses me. Does he think I dont give him enough nurturing? I have been distant lately....but thats because I assumed he didn't like me. Maybe I'm too nagging?
The 8 of pentacles....he thinks im too much work? he thinks work will distract me from him? I'm too much of a perfectionist? He doesnt like that we're coworkers...? Eeeeeek x.x
I;m posting this to you because you are a cancer, and in hoping you can answer this from a cancer perspective. Because as an Aries, I dun get it.
There's one more thing I want to post. I wanted to know if there was something going uncommunicated that needed to be communicated, that he couldnt communicate. Thats a lot of communication, LOL. So, I asked...."What does J wish that I knew, or wants me to know, but won't say?" i got:
10 of Cups, Lovers, Strength
I pulled more then that, but its too much work to read all of them, so I'll leave you with three. Cause they're the ones with the most UMMPPFF. I can honestly say I don't know what to think. But it looks like it might be important.
THANK YOU! Have fun with yo kiddies!
Ah dang, good call on the Magician, he was “messing” with me all along but with sort of a “creative” side to it, wanting to see what would result (I swear everything with this man is a mental exercise in some form). I hear you about the “getting back at you thing” but revenge wasn’t the sense I had at all, it was more like he was attempting to show me through experience how things need to go between us. Kinda like, now that I know how it feels to be manipulated, will I reel in my manipulations as well? I think he’s also suggesting that I’m not thinking when I do it, I’m “out of control”, he is manipulating with purpose you see, he knows exactly what result he wanted to get. He’s like the Magician because he held the real answer all along, the ability to “like magic” turn everything around – if he chose to, which by admitting his little game I take it that he did. Or did he? Perhaps something in him thinks I’m the one playing a game and he wanted to see what my reaction would be if he let me think that he was setting me up the whole time? When I made the decision to let him lead the relationship and then I “turned nice” after that, he said I made him “nervous”, like, “uh oh, what’s she really doing here?” He just assumed that I had an ulterior motive in mind (maybe that cheating-married-man-paranoia you mentioned kicked in and he thought I was going to pull something.) Omg, this can make my head spin, lol. In any case if nothing else came out of our conversation I’m hoping it’s clear that I’m talking from my heart and not looking to play games with him.
On a purely intuitive level – no cards involved here – but after letting our conversation on Friday “settle” in my mind a bit a couple of things keep coming to the surface. One is the notion of people trying to manipulate him his whole life, tell him what to do and what’s good for him – never giving him a chance to prove himself. He got married and had a child when he was so young, I bet there was no shortage of people giving him advice. Might explain his general defensiveness and tendency to conceal his motives (so that others can’t use things against him or manipulate him – so that he can feel some control in his life.)
The other is a feeling that he’s fishing for something more specific out of me. He brought up for the second time the issue of me moving closer to him (we live 30 minutes apart). Me moving is huge. HUGE! I mean what about my kids? Does he think I should hand them off to their dad, just get them on the weekends? I can’t pull them out of their school district and how would I get them to school anyhow living so far away. The first time he brought it up I also mentioned that, as a single mom with no family here, I rely heavily on the support of friends. I wouldn’t have that if I moved where he is. He just replied, “I see” the first time, nothing else.
So Friday he brought it up AGAIN. This time I said, “well, why don’t you just move closer to me?” He smiled real big and replied, “because I thought of it first”. So as this continues to play in my mind I’m just like, wtf??? Is he wishing that I would drop my life and do whatever I had to do be with him, or is he checking to make sure that I wouldn’t (getting a measure on how “crazy” would I go to have him). So uncanny that you made those comments about how he probably worries about me going to his wife, because somehow I wonder if that’s at the root of this, which would really stink actually because it would mean he doesn’t entirely trust me. Aw dang, I should have said, “well why don’t you just move in with me and that would solve everything”. Lol, a reeeeally bad idea in reality, but would have been funny to hear his response. (Oops, guess I’m good at playing head games too, no wonder we have such a connection – we’re too much alike maybe?)
Then the other theme that keeps coming to mind now is that he almost seems to want me to take a perspective that I AM the main woman in his life and that his wife (“the roommate”) is more like the “other woman”. I’m getting very tempted to do another reading on what’s going on with those two, especially with that Tower looming…. Those kinds of questions are a Pandora’s Box to me though –don’t open the box if you aren’t prepared to deal with what comes out of it. If it looked promising for them I’d be crushed since it feels like things are headed in a good direction for us for now.
You know Andrealightgiver gave me a reading on this relationship just before she started her 300+post thread giving readings. She describes our relationship as “the sickness and the cure”. (I’ll post it separately in this thread so you can read it. You’re in this deep enough now that you’ll appreciate it.)
Your thoughts are interesting about the Knight of Wands and I think you’ll get a kick out of this background information. I will tell you honestly that I know his intention when he met me was to “have some fun” and simply bail out later. If you recall I met him on line, he lied about his whole marital/divorce history, where he came from, where he lived, even his name was a lie. I went for months calling him a name that wasn’t his own. All this was to protect his marriage, obviously, and he will say in the big picture, to protect the situation for his kids. The dude was just looking for some action plain and simple because he wasn’t getting it at home, or possibly even as “revenge” on his wife, and then he’d just walk away knowing I could never find him. Who knows how many times he may have done it before. I eventually busted him (driven by my Cancer intuition that something was “amiss”) with some investigating on my own, and one little “God given fluke” – there is no way that I would have made the right connection were God not in on this, and I am dead serious about that (I saw a word on a billboard driving that gave me a flash of a word tied in with his IM name – a billboard for crying out loud got him busted, hahah). Anyway it was that one little obscure piece of information that led me straight to his real name and all the rest of it was easy to figure out after that. Saying that he was astounded is an understatement. He said his heart literally stopped when he got my e-mail detailing everything I knew about him and he actually felt sick when he faced the reality of what he had done. I like to think that was the day“Mr. Mental” had finally met his match, lol.
I’m sure it sounds insane that I wouldn’t have left him after that, but therein lies our whole problem. I actually laughed when the final pieces fell into place and I realized the extent of his deception. I just KNEW something was amiss and I guess it was funny to me to be right. In spite of all this neither one of us wants to budge. And so now I find myself sharing Tarot readings with complete strangers…Hahaha! It’s worked out well though, hasn’t it!!! My life is nothing if not strange I suppose………
Rest assured that no matter how much I’d like to be with him, I’d never deliver an ultimatum about him leaving his marriage or threaten to interfere with it. Too much integrity on my part. If he doesn’t want to work his life out to be with me then it’s just not meant to be. I want someone who wants to be with me just because they love me, not because I had to make deals to get him there. Certainly causing wholesale pain within his family and turning his life upside-down is not going to make him say, “wow, I love you even more for that!!” Not likely, lol.
Anyway, I’m going to get back to your readings later here hopefully, just had these thoughts on my mind and wanted to share them. I’ll copy Andrea’s reading next so you can check that out.
MariaRia - this is Andrealightgiver's reading on "R" - general views on the relationship
The relationship can be described as the "sickness and the cure"
It is like you can't live with him and you can't live without him.
You are a restricted to a certain place- a job, a home, or a physical area.But you want to start a new life, open a door or have another chance.In the past your expectations did not come through everything you had your heart set on was destroyed, the people you trusted to help you let you down. All your hopes and dreams did not come true. You have waited a long time for what you want.
The problem lies in expecting happiness to come from someone else. You are delaying action due to lack of certainty or lack of courage. The answer lies in something very unexpected. Some thing that is taboo or socially not excepted. Someone acting completely out of character (maybe you?) so unexpected it will make you wonder. It will be a total surprise.
You will be very happy once the new reign begins.
The fisherman will appear. Someone who waits patiently and deliberately. He will bring the waiting to completion by doing something very unusual. When it happens you will think back on this reading in awe. Expect the unexpected and lots of happiness will follow.
Ok Maria - on to you - Totally agree on your interpretation of 3 of cups (sidebar here - go back to one of your very first readings, I told you the cards said you had many options - you now confirm that coworkers flirt with you all the time - so you see, you could easily find someone else since other men obviously find you attractive), the Empress perhaps you want to look at the negative aspects since you asked a negative question - she's mothering/smothering, can suggest promiscuity, or intimacy without love, attachment to material things, what I would consider a materialistic or superficial woman. (Not saying you are but I'm throwing out the interpretations - this is a very confusing mix of cards. I hate to think that he had "fun" with you and then turned around and thought you were "easy". Might be something a Cancer would do, or any other idiot guy really, lol. Double standards.). The 8 of Pentacles may be that you're "working" too hard on him "hammering" away trying to get to him. Maybe he wants you to back off a little bit? Otherwise perhaps one of your suggestions. Hard to imagine he’d dislike you for being a hard worker, so probably one of your other suggestions.
As far as what he wishes you knew, well whoa, those are pretty nice cards, maybe he wishes you realized that he does have it in him to be caring and generous and wants a family (the children in the 10 of cups), has the potential to be a family man, loves his own family, but that he hasn't found the one he believes he wants to marry yet (the choices in the Lovers) and he is patient and resolved to wait until Ms. Right comes along.
I'm probably not giving this the level of detail it deserves but hopefully this gives you some other angles and thoughts.
Oh wow O.O Yah that's...interesting. I mean, andrea's reading looks really good for you guys, though! I just never would have imagined it going anywhere the way it started. Kinda sketch, which I'm sure you know. But weirder things have happened, and not everything in life is supposed to go fairytale well.
As for the moving closer thing...psssh, I'm glad you told him to stuff it. I don't know what he's doing, but it does sound like he's pulling out his magician gloves again. Is that 30 minutes by car or public transit? Because if its by public transit, that's not a big deal at all. It usually takes me 45 minutes to get anywhere decent. By car is a bit of a different story, but still. You were right to sat no. He may also have been 'half joking'. I don't think he seriously expected you to move, but also I think he wanted to see what your reaction would be. I really hate it when men test me like that. J used to do that to me all the time. It's weird because I'd know exactly when he was testing me, too.
I kinda want a reading from her now, LOL! But she's getting harassed on this forum so I dont know how available she actually is. But I hope she was right and you have happiness to follow this madness! Which hopefully doesn't involve uprooting yourself.
So I opened Pandora's Box and asked: what does "R" and "J's" relationship look like? (J being his wife, not me) I imagined it as "show me a snapshot of their relationship" and I got:
The 7th card - The Emperor
Then, just because this question is really bugging me since "R" and I talked (and you brought it up, lol): Does "R" really plan on leaving his wife?
King of Swords
Knight of Swords
2 of Wands
Wheel of Fortune
Page of Swords
7th Card - 4 of Wands
So being so far out on this limb I did some single card questions. Just having some fun here:
What does "R" see in me, why is he sticking around? The Heirophant (Oh great, so I'm like his mentor?)
So I asked is there any real future for us together then? The Hanged Man (Instantly seeing this as giving things up I got miffed – so I asked the next question.)
Why should I stick around then? The Lovers (Hang on to him for a booty call?? Lol.)
So seeing the Lovers I ask: Does "R" love me? Knight of Cups
Does "R" really plan on us being together someday? Knight of Pentacles
Will he leave his wife someday and be free to have a new relationship? The Sun
Should I wait this out or start breaking away? 9 Swords (Love this answer - grief either way, lol. So true.)
Having so much fun with this I thought well let's dig a little deeper.
Does "R's" wife love him? 9 Wands
What does she want with him at this point? The Fool
Does she want to divorce him someday? Ace of Swords
What's the biggest issue she has with him - what's bugging her? The Tower
Where does she hope the marriage will go? 3 Swords (Boy that's an odd answer)
What does she think would make the marriage more successful? 4 pentacles
Is she generally happy in their marriage? The Tower
Does she know that he's unfaithful to her? 10 Swords (ouch!)
Why does she stay with "R"? Strength
How does she view R's general character? 10 Pentacles
Let's hear the other side of the story:
Does "R" love his wife? 2 of Cups
What does "R" want with his wife at this point? 4 Wands
Does he want to divorce her? 4 Wands (I swear I shuffled the deck! Lol)
What's the biggest issue he has with her? The Hanged Man
Where does "R" hope the marriage will go? The Tower
What does he think would make the marriage more successful? Wheel of Fortune
Is he generally happy in his marriage? 3 Cups
Does "R" think his wife knows he's unfaithful? Page of Swords
Why does he really stay with her? 3 Wands
How does he view her general character? 4 Cups
Let's look at the dynamics of the relationship:
What is the biggest issue between them? The Emperor (Ah, that power struggle again)
What is going to decide the direction things actually go between them? The Hierophant
Will they find happiness if they stick together? The Tower
Will they find happiness if they part? The Hermit
What’s the one thing they could do between them that might bring their hearts back together? The Moon
Well that was a fun little excursion!!! Don’t feel that you need to comment on all of that, I was just messing around. I would, however, enjoy hearing your impressions on the two 7-card readings. Isn’t it interesting though, that with all of the cards I pulled here two keep coming up: The Tower and the 4 of Wands. No rush getting back, I’ve really loaded you up with 3 posts to read, so take your time. Send me a new reading for you too!
Ugh well that's no fun x.x With the empress, I don't think it's promiscuity. He kinda knows my....'situation' with that. So the only other option is that I'm probably smothering. Which I find hilarious, because half the time I am honestly too scared to talk to him. We work together and we could easily go an entire shift and exchange two sentences. Especially since I get REALLY busy, and often end up getting tunnel vision and focusing on my work all night. I do tend to text message him though....but really only after i've seen him and I forgot to tell him something, so I'll send him a text and tell him. And I see him maybe once or twice a week. Well now I'm just confused...how could I possibly be smothering? I also notice that if I've made up my mind that I won't pay attention to him that day, he notices instantly and will usually come up to ME and start talking. He is the one who won't let me back off of him completely....
And as for the 8 of pents, that makes sense. Though, I also go back to my other comments about the empress. But maybe I need to give him...even more space? O.o Maybe no texts allowed at all? Geeze, from these two readings you'd think he wants me to give up on him. Well I've tried damnit, but he keeps reeling me back in. That's so unfair x.x
Oh wait. Unless he just feels like I'm pressuring him to come to a decision, and he needs to take his sweet cancer time. But I mean, whats the point? If he was gonna date me he probably would have by now.
The funny thing about the 8 of pents, is that I asked the cards 'why??' after I got the readings about what he dislikes, and I got a hell of a lot of pentacles. 7 of pents, 4 of pents, 2 of pents. So...again, I get the impression of waiting for things to happen and holding back. Not sure about the 2 of pents... the 5 of cups and queen of cups followed, so maybe he's trying to balance his disappointment of the past with his feelings now? And he feels like he doesn't have time to do that? Also asked what he needs from me, and I got 4 of pents, queen of pents, the chariot, and the 9 of wands. So...again, I get the feeling of being patient, and directing my energy to holding my ground instead of progressing forward. (i dont expect you to interpret any of these cause theres like...5 here, lol. Just throwing out my thoughts.)
Oh snap, we keep interlocking posts, hahaha! Scroll up I've got some stuff about you before I posted mine, and I'm gonna post on your readings right now!