Help with reading -What Relationship Would Be Like
I agree with the book on the account that I am an Aries and will be very open and talk about stuff with Cancer guy and we've known each other for years and I can just talk about stuff that perhaps I shouldn't be telling him about but I still do. As for reading. I sat on my own with no distractions, shuffled my cards and whilst shuffling I just asked what will happen between us, what does the future hold for us and how does he feel about me. I feel the confirmation it was about him was the Knight of Cups, as card looks a little like him in my deck, so always thought that was him. Also pulled Page of cups, ten of pentacles, the sun,the world and the wheel of fortune. I don't know if that was ok or not. As for telling him, yes he knows, I have told him.
I just did a 3 card reading this morning in to past, future, present and got
Wheel of Fortune
even though I shuffled the cards, i got the same cards
MariaRia - Wow, very interesting reading you did. Leaping right to the 7th Card - there it is...it's all about the marriage, so that tells us your reading was on target. I guess, however reluctantly I want to see it, it also suggests that they both see some value in what they have - perhaps a shared value about what they want for their family, or the importance of a family unit.
So as for the past, I might also add to the past that he claims she got pregnant on purpose - to force him to stay with her. Perhaps there was some emotional struggle there as well, sort of a "defending that love was there". I can't imagine his family was too happy when he announced that he knocked up his teenage girlfriend. He has huge issues with his own mother even today. He blames in on the fact that she spent time in the military - demanding, a perfectionist, extrememly critical, nothing is ever good enough. Did his wife have to convince him that she loved him as well. Making a baby is a big deal, was there some question of whether there was really love there or it was just a matter of "doing the right thing" no matter what. (He in fact said that was he feeling, "that he just did the right thing and married her", gave up any personal dreams and went to work to take care of her and his son. How very Virgo, lol.)
The present makes perfect sense as well. There he is wandering off on his little "adventures" but sticking it out in terms of his work and responsibilities. But wait! What about her? Is she perhaps "wandering" in her own way as well? The "growing apart" that he describes but still sticking it out for the kids.
The future cards are perplexing. The "dam is going to burst" for sure but I find it impossible to see what direction that may take things (unless the Empress is that answer - they're going to stay married). The 6 of Wands suggests he may finally get the appreciation from her that he seeks, the return of his self-esteem that she tears down, or is it the opposite (the 6 of wands is not always a "nice" card, but also stubborness, pride, arrogance, vindication), that they will both find vindication of some sort....ahh, wait a minute, or is it that both of their prideful natures and the need to "win" in the relationship will cause the tower to crash. These daily battles and power struggles they engage in are building up towards one big explosive moment. There is no answer here to the outcome but more of a snapshot of where they are right now. I will say though, that the last time I saw "R" he was pretty agitated. Said he was "I'm sick of drama and people only thinking about their own selfish needs. I really can't take much more of it. I REALLY can't."
Sidebar - Is it any wonder that what "R" seeks with me is no more "drama" added to his world, that he'd like to feel in charge and supported by me. Lol.
Thank you for going out on that limb to share the reading Maria, I think you should feel very good about the results. I do! Probably helps that you and I have a good connection going at this point as well. Man, you really nailed it, I'll say that. So... "R" is about to blow....hey, they're headed to Disney World on a family vacation next month (a battle "R" lost, he didn't want to go). Nothing like the "closeness" of a fun drive from Michigan to Orlando to bring out the best in everyone, hahaha! This could be the one that pushes them over the edge. I'm so bad, I know. ;o)
Let me know how your day goes.
sky80 - so, for your first reading....it's a little hard to say what those cards pertain to, because you asked a lot of questions, LOL. But yes, your right, they're all very positive. I see affection, I see completion and I see either happiness or you soon being a little more in the clear then you are currently. Perhaps you'll finally get some information? Whenever I get the sun I usually learn something I was in the dark about before....just be careful not to get burned. I've been burned by the sun many, many times. And always by my cancer, LOL!
Ooo, interesting. So, the past is the page of cups? You obviously have a history of affection. The page is about the beginning stages of emotion, and I guess it makes sense since you've known him for so long.
The future is the wheel of fortune? I love getting this card (sarcasm), its basically the deck saying "Ehhh....hard to say, but things will change." Which is good for you, because being in the spot your in now is not fun. So, your fortune will change, for better or worse. In any sense, it's movement, so that's good.
The present is the ten of pentacles? I think this is the most loaded card in the deck. You see it, and your like "yaaaay!" but no. Beware. I've gotten this card often for my situation, and look where we're at now. There is nothing stable or harmonious about it. And there is obviously nothing stable about your current situation, either. So, perhaps this is talking about other things that influence whats going on right now. It can also be a card about inheritance, I don't know if his family is affecting him at all....? Maybe he doesn't know if he wants to have a stable, complete relationship yet?
Jenever- Dang, this gets better and better. Those situations of 'marrying because of a baby' are always awful. The more you tell me the more I feel sorry for him. You were right to put him on the spot, I think. He needs to decide what he's going to do about his marriage. You have a right to be firm, too. Because even though he isn't happy, that doesn't make it alright to cheat. Not trying to guilt trip anyone, but it's true. You might even be right about her needing a wakeup call. I don't know if that'll change HIS mind, but it might improve HER for herself. If he doesn't want drama, an affair is not the way to do it.
I really hope you don't get too burned by this situation. It's impossible to say how it'll end up, and even tarot can't tell you. BUT, maybe what you can ask tarot, is the reason why you guys met? I did that. I got 'Queen of Wands, Strength, Queen of Swords." Queen of wands is my card, I read this as learning how to control my stupid mouth. The queen of swords controls her emotions and her actions. The Queen of wands is kind of the opposite...not quite as bad as the king, but worse then the swords. And, truthfully, I have learned that lesson. Sometimes, like Linda said, honestly is not the best policy. I have looked totally insane to him on several occasions because I feel the need to communicate everything with him, when some stuff I should just keep in my head.
So...try that one on.
I agree with that, I have read your other posts MariaRia and I have to say I understand where you are coming from and like you and your Cancer guy. I am an Aries and the guy I like is a Cancer guy. Me and My cancer guy have a history together which is why it has been so difficult to just let go and when I have tried to let go there is always something pulling me back. I am not sure if his family are affecting him, I know he is very close to his family. I tried to read cards again with one specific question, how does he feel about me and I have just pulled:
now I don't know exactly how all that fits together but from what it looks like they don't seem to be the happy sunny cards I got before.So I did an online reading on Facade which was on one of the links on this post and I tried the Celtic Cross on that, again asking the same question, how does he feel about me and this time I got:
Seven of Cups
King of Pentacles
Queen of pentacles
four of cups
Six of Swords
Nine of Swords
Six of Cups
Very different cards to what I had got before, either way not looking too good to me
I just tried one of the questions that was in this post and asked if me and him were to date what would our relationship be like and interestingly I got:
Knight Cups (him again), Page Swords, The World, Queen Pentacles, The Star, The Heirophant and Queen of Swords. No wonder i'm so confused!, it doesn't all add up.
Okay, so first with the celtic cross reading, you need to give us the positions. Those cards don't mean anything unless we know what position they are.
For the other reading, I find it endlessly interesting that your first three cards are very similar to mine when I asked 'does he have feelings for me.' I got the ace of pents, 4 of swords, page of pents. And you got the two of wands, 4 of swords, and ace of pents. I think he feels kind of....confused and divided. You didnt get BAD cards...they just arent lovey dovey cards. Its a confusing reading....its like he's trying to decide whether or not he actually feels something. But with the 4 of swords, king of swords and the 4 of cups it looks like he's being very stubborn. Like he doesn't want to figure things out.
I dont think that was helpful, but you did pull a lot of cards so its hard to string them together. Also, try not to ask the tarot the same question twice, you will confuse yourself for sure.
Okay, and for the third one, do these cards also have no positions? Or is this another celtic cross? Because they are very....like, back and forth. I actually have no idea what to say....I guess I see that the affection in the relationship will not be communicated that well, or maybe it will be communicated (page of swords confuses me) which will inevitably complete some kind of cycle that will give the queen of pentacles (you? x.x) hope for a stable, traditional relationship (heirophant) instead of one where people dont express themselves????? (q o sw.)
That hurt my head....
Sorry, I am quite new to this, I have had my cards for ages but still in learning process.
This was basically the reading from before
the atmosphere surrounding the central issue: The moon
the obstacle that stands in your way: Seven of Cups
your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities:King of Pentacles
the foundation on which the situation is based: Queen of Pentacles
a passing influence or something to be released: Four of Cups
an approaching influence or something to be embraced: Judgement
your role or attitude: Strength
your environment and the people you are interacting with: Six of Swords
your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play: Nine of Swords
the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course: Six of Cups
I also asked what was stopping us from getting together and I got three pentacles, nine wands, justice, two wands, king of swords, ace pentacles, king of pentacles. Now just trying to make sense of that these latest cards, I would say that he isn't getting together with me because (and this is just my guess at my own reading) he has a lot of focus on work related issues, too much demands on time, energy and financial resources (money issues?), doubting relationship would work, ambition, security, not satisfied or comfortable or emotionally content.
Hey Jenever, we met through Scorpio man post coupla days ago, where you gave me some very sound advice. . I too have spent many many hours trying to make sense of cards in my on/off relationship. What I didn't mention though is that I have been married for 17 years to Aquarius man (who by all accounts and purposes should be my ideal match!) but living seperately in same house for past 6 years. This has caused the many gaps in my relationship with S since we met. In my heart of hearts he is who I want to be with, my living under same roof as another man kills him, and every now and again it all gets too much for him, and he breaks contact after telling me to choose between them. But the pull between us is too strong for either of us to let go. What stops me leaving is not my heart, but the effect on others of my actions on others, and also the practicalities. I have two children, a teenager who would not leave with me because her friends live nearby, and one of primaryyschool age, I wouldn't split them, and couldn't contemplate leaving them behind. How can I hurt our entire family for my own selfish needs? How many people are going to be hurt by my actions? Where would I live if I left - I couldn't go straight to S? What about bills, mortgages etc? If I left and took my income, husband would have to leave home he has lived in for many years and he doesn't deserve that either. He isn't bad person, just doesn't acknowledge that we are more like sister and brother. He won't accept that everything isn't ok with us and how we live isn't normal for a couple. Ideally, he would meet someone else and leave me, but I can't see that happening. I know it isn't right to cheat, but you can't always help who you fall in love with. I'm not defending how your man behaves or how he treats you, only suggesting that he may not be "sticking it out for kids", but like me he may be seeing a lot of barriers in his path to being with you. I too have been on the family holidays where I didn't want to go, and it is hell when you want to be somewhere else with someone else, it doesn't make for a relaxing break!!! But barriers can be broken, so have faith. Something has to give. I also believe that if it is meant to be, then it will happen. Fate brought you together for a reason. I wish you many positive future cards .:-)
Thanks Lolpet. I understand all too clearly what it takes to leave a marriage. I was with my Scorpio man 16 years total, 13 years married. It takes a ton of guts, but more than anything it takes FAITH. Faith in yourself that you have the strength to pull yourself out of an unhappy situation no matter the consequences and faith that in freeing yourself, all those around you will see the positive outcome and know that it was the right thing for you - and for everyone else.
I have tremendous Faith spiritually as well, and the confidence that what I need in life will come to me if I make the effort. Just like the universe takes care of all creatures great and small, I will be taken care of too. My Scorp tried to scare me about what it would be like for me financially starting from scratch. Tried to convince me that I was better off staying with him. I told him, "I'll live on welfare before I will be held hostage to you and your money". That man was/is all about the money, the house, the status. My life has never felt so empty or my heart so numb. On my worst days now, at least I feeeel something!
Attitude is everything in making this work. I try to be the kind of person my sons can admire and be proud of. They tell me how great I am all the time and I love that. This IS all working for me and every step I take I feel such sadness for everyone in this world who doesn't seize the opportunities to bring more happiness into their lives. I think I am teaching my sons that adversity is simply a challenge to be overcome, not the end of the world. They've seen more change happen in my life in the past year and a half than many people see in a decade. I moved, I went back to school, took on two jobs, still searching for a full time job...more major changes to come for all of us...but one thing that never changed is how much I love them and how often I told them how proud I am of them for sticking with me through it all and believing that everyone has the right to feel totally happy in their hearts. I tell them sometimes you just have to be a "warrior". You might think it would be tiring? Surprisingly, I have very few "down" days. If you can manage to immerse yourself in the experience, and just accept that things aren't either good or bad, they just "are", it's actually an energizing experience. I have a roof over my head, my children have what they need and that's considerably more than many, many people on this earth have. I am blessed.
Through all of this I have also had so many friends, men and women, tell me that I am their "hero", but it has NOT been an easy road. As I say I work two jobs right now, live with expensive COBRA insurance (lucky to still have that) I gave up my sons 50% of their lives (ages 8, 11 and 13) in shared custody, and you know what, I DO NOT nor have I ever regretted my decision. The idea of selfishness is a delusion that is projected on you by everyone else. Oh, I spent several years feeling guilty even thinking about if I were to make a move, "how selfish of me". But what made everyone else right and me wrong? Why did they deserve to be content and comfortable, and I deserved no happiness at all? Who was really selfish in all of this?
So on Easter Sunday, 2007, as I sat in church and the Priest said, "let us pray silently for a moment" and all I could think was, "God show me the path out of this misery" and within a second I "heard" all through me "truth". I still get goosebumps just thinking about it. It was like a bell that sounded all through me. That night I told my husband the truth, "I don't love you anymore". Nothing was the same after that, nothing was "easy" again after that, but God never said it would be easy. God just gave me the path and in return I'm not planning on letting God down or my sons or any of my friends or family. Fact of the matter is, it's a whole lot easier living in my own skin now, escaping a life that was nothing but a huge lie - a pretty picture as long as I didn't rock the boat. A pretty picture that I maintained for everyone else.
Did other people get hurt in the process? For a while yes, but even my ex admitted recently that he really has never been happier in his life. He loves money and his career (Scorpio). I have the kids 50% of the time which has freed him to succeed at work to a level that would never have been possible when we were together. He found a new lady who makes him happy, we hadn't made each other happy in years. I genuinely wish him that happiness and more. We all deserve that. Sometimes things change in a trickle and sometimes things change in a flash flood. My husband and I weren't doing each other or our children any favors staying together. Even my own sons totally see it now because they see us both as two very different and happier people than they knew before. I like to think that we have given them the gift of seeing us in our authenticity, as the people we truly are.
I know it doesn't work out so well for everyone, but this is my story and I think I've helped many other newly divorced women find strength as they go through change (I am often contacted by women I scarcely know with something like, "Jane said you might be someone I can talk to, you see I'm getting divorced..." I just laugh now, but I love that my friends believe in and trust me to help guide others on their new path. I have a very long way to go...but to what or where I'm not sure, lol. Does it matter? It's all part of living. I just keep going and we'll see what comes next.
You are so right though, somehow my married Virgo man is tied in with this. I have NO clue why, although we are so similar at heart that I wonder if I am supposed to help reveal to him (by example not coersion) how to find the answers to his unhappiness. He alluded to me that there were times when he literally wanted to run away, go live in another state, just leave his family and hope that no one would find him. That's serious stuff, and some pretty serious unhappiness, especially because I know he adores his kids, his face glows just talking about them - so proud. Meanwhile I'm learning lessons through him about forgiving, living without judging, redefining or simply reinforcing my values and what I want in this new life that is ALL mine to create. Mostly I want to live in truth - no more living other people's lies or lying to myself.
When I put my ego aside and anything I want with Virgo and think only about his life, one thing that stands out is that he IS dealing with his life, facing his responsibilities, trying to formulate a path forward, and still making an effort to keep me in there as well. As we wrapped up yet another conflict from last week (this relationship IS a challenge for both of us emotionally ) I ended my side with my usual, "well, we've come this far, what's it going to hurt to go a little further" and he with his typical, "no one ever has all the answers, let me know when you do", I think that maybe we're just going to keep inching along here together curious to see if it's all going to take us someplace. Or maybe we've really already arrived and just have to sort out some details (this seems to be where his mind and heart are at the moment; just time and patience and it will all be there in the end). For now, I'm still going with "only God really knows"....... What can I tell you, it's the cautious Cancer in me!!
Thanks for your good wishes and for sharing your thoughts with me Lolpet! You know, without my Virgo man drama I would never have had a reason to even join this forum. If nothing else, he has led me to people like you and MariaRia here and others. In the past weeks I have been enjoying such a sense of connectedness and heartfelt support that I would never have known otherwise. Maybe this is where I was really going, ha!
Sky, MariaRia seems to be doing a fine job with things, so I'm slacking here (mostly because it's been a long day and I need some sleep) but I'm going to go back and review your cards at my earliest opportunity. And please don't apologize for learning! Lol. I'm still learning loads here too!
Ok, MariaRia: pulling three cards to enlighten me on "why were 'R' and I brought together" (why is this one making me so nervous, lol)
Well, I daresay that this is a bit anti-climactic...
2 of Swords
4 of Cups
Queen of Pentacles
I'll remind you that the Queen of Pentacles is my card, so one angle is that the lesson between us is meant more for me. But ignore that aspect and tell me what you think. I'm in too deep on this one to come up with any quick answer. Hopefully you'll be able to see things more clearly.
Maybe I should have asked it as two questions if it appears that we aren't being brought together to stay together, i.e. why he was brought together with me and why was I brought together with him?
Maria - Oh wait, I just had a flash, but I will wait until I hear what you have to say so that we can compare notes. It's no projection on a future one way or another, but something we find in each other. Ok, that's all I'm saying, lol. Goodnight!
Hahaha wow! anticlimactic is right! Uhhmmm....maybe your supposed to open his eyes? Or he opens your eyes? Both those cards are about refusing to see, or accept something. One out of fear and one out of disinterest or apathy. I almost see this reading like an equation... the Queen of Pentacles is at the end of the equation, which hopefully means your the solution.
Hey....you think it's possible the tarot has no idea yet, and that's why you got those cards? Maybe whatever is meant to happen hasn't even come close to happening, so asking that question is confusing the tarot.
But, really, the more I look at the cards the more they make sense for your situation. His problem is that he isn't happy with the way his life is, and you serve as a release from that. I'm just surprised the tarot didn't throw in a happier card in the middle there.
Sky -So, to paraphrase your celtic cross, it seems like the problem with your cancer is similar to mine....i get the 7 of cups with him a lot, I think because he is either taking his sweet ass time thinking things over, or he has too many options. Some other card in your reading made me think of this....oh, the 4 of cups. He's being idle. Kind of day dreaming, thinking about your relationship, other things life has to offer him....does he not want to be tied down? 'The foundation' as the queen of pentacles is interesting.....is this you? Is there someone in his past who is still around, or still influencing him? What question did you ask the celtic cross again...? The outcome as the 6 of cups is positive, I think. I don't know if it's what you want, though. That card can mean many things...wishes coming true, friendship, reminiscing, past relationships...maybe he's thinking too much of the past. Has he been hurt before?
As for your second reading, for some reason I have a really hard time reading the cards you pull without spreads. For your sake also, try to limit your free hand readings to 3 or 4 cards. That will make things A LOT easier. Right now, I think your pulling too many cards and it's muddying things up. From what I can get from the first three cards, he's putting off solidifying your relationship because he hasn't made a decision about it yet. I used to get justice a lot for my cancer as well, and people interpreted it as him still weighing up your relationship and what to do about it. Two of wands can also be about a decision, and King of Swords another card about intellect and fairness, like the justice card, just personified.
Thank you MariaRia for your help on that. I'm usually more interested in celtic crosses, but as i'm at beginning stages, still picking up new ideas and I am going to stick to 3 or 4 cards as yes I am getting a little confused lol. He hasn't been in any other relationships that anyone else knows of so not sure if it is an ex, we went out in the past, but it was a long time ago. I don't know about whether or not he wants to be tied down so to speak, I can understand that he does have a lot that he probably needs to consider, strangely enough I was the commitment phobe and he wasn't, but I can see that might have turned around. I asked the question "How does he feel about me"?, In both cases when I put that on Facade and when I tried to pull my own cards. I can also see why the past might have hurt him, and he does live a little in what had happened but it was a very long time ago and we are talking years, I mean 10 years!. Now I know he is a Cancer but thats taking it to the extremes, having said that he has told me that he has found it difficult to move on and that he has feelings for me, then he flirts then he backs off, if i've tried to wwalk away and he has had two opportunities to let me go, he hasn't. I guess the cards are saying it isn't a definete yes or a definete no and he is still weighing things up. I heard from him yesterday after 2 weeks and he is keeping his distance more and more so it seems, and all I got from him was 2 lines!.
Anyway thank you for helping me interpreting my reading, it has helped me make a little more sense out of the situation.
Ahhhhh, thats right, you dated before. Okay, that makes sense. And that really makes sense with the 6 of cups. He's obviously confused about what to do, seeing as The Moon was the main card. It's almost like he's trying to figure out whats REALLY going on. Maybe he's afraid you guys will just break up again if you get back together? Cancers don't like to feel rejection or heartbreak, so I guess he figures if you guys ended it once, you'll just do it again.
In total I sense a lot of the typical cancer 'taking forever to put things togetherness in this reading. I think he obviously does have affection for you, from now or mostly from the past. What he's doing to do about that is a different story. Prepare to wait.....
I saw this spread on sexual fantasies. And I giggled. And then I did it. And I got all swords!! >:0. Except for two positions. One: What he would say to me in these fantasies that he wouldn't in life, which was the Ace of Wands. And two, what his actions will be in real life, which was the Ace of Pentacles. So, a little miffed, I asked 'Why doesn't he fantasize about me?' and as silly as this question is, and not at all affecting my life, I will post the result because I think it's interesting.
Queen of Cups
Five of Pentacles
Ten of Pentacles.
Umm...so I guess the one that interests me the most is the five of pentacles. Kind of depressing....does it make him sad to think about that kind of stuff? I never know how to read the Queen of Cups, and the ten of pentacles seems so random for this question! I'm thinking along the lines of he gets emotional and that makes him feel like he's missing out on....family? Eeeehhh?
Maria - Ok, here's what popped into my mind (even though i was legitimatly trying NOT to think on it - still it just came to me in a flash). The two of swords is a closed heart. We've both been let down throughout our lives in similar ways, all the way back to childhood. Harsh parents, dysfunctional families. It's hard to trust that anyone should be let into our hearts because so far, it never seems to lead to genuine happiness. Fast forward to my marriage that failed and his that is in the throes. In all cases we were/are both surrounded by people who seeimingly love us, but it's either false or it's simply not enough - it's not quite "right" yet - not the love we need to fulfill our hearts. The idea of "ingoring what's right in front of us, and longing for something that is undefinable". Dissatisfaction with what we have, and in need of something else.
Now, we both seem to have found in each other something that finally feels "right", but what will we do with it? The hand comes from the cloud to offer us something, but what will we choose? Or maybe it is just me? He's been more optimistic than I have about the future, I'm the one who resists and questions and remains skeptical. He tells me to relax and quit making sometihng out of nothing. Argh! You know if the man weren't married, none of this would be an issue. It IS all there between us emotionally, no question about that, but I'm the one who struggles always wanting to know what direction we are taking. Answers, answers, I want answers! Hahaha! So what is that Queen of Pentacles about? Is it about just me or is it about the situation that both of us want? We both seem to want what the Queen of Pentacles represents; simple security, trust, nurturing, nothing dramatic or complicated...a relationship that is reliable, warm, supportive and true instead of one that's based on material concerns or one that let's us down...again.
So back to the question of "why were we brought together", is it a lesson to learn that it is okay to trust and open our hearts and see what happens?
Sigh....wish that particular Queen hadn't been there, it really mucks things up.
About your fantasy reading. Hey, is it possible that he was in some kind of very serious relationship in the past and got really hurt? One where he felt he'd found a true love (I view the QofC as unconditional love, deep emotions), one that might even lead to marriage and security, but it fell apart - he was so disappointed that he dares not dream of it again at this time (and so why he doesn't fantacize about you as well - his heart isn't ready to go there again?) Take it from me, nobody can get hurt and hang on to it like a Cancer. He may actually still be reeling from some past experience that you're not aware of? What do you think? Possible?
I've just done another reading, this time using 4 cards and I asked "what can I be doing to help this situation? and I pulled
which is really interesting as its the 4 cups again!