Help with reading -What Relationship Would Be Like

  • Yup, that definitely works. And your so right about believing that im worth it. I really need to get back my 'no bullshiit' attitude. Cause thats how I was before. But, then you meet someone who like...fits everything you've ever wanted in a man, and then gives you drama, and so you start giving him all kinds of slack...until your like "wow, why am I putting up with this??" Its just, of course, this attitude is way easier to say and harder to put into practice. But, I mean, your telling me to do it, and so is the freakin Kinda hard not to.

    One thing i've noticed about him in readings now, though, is that whenever I try to genuinely say something nice to him, he'll automatically get suspicious and think im trying to manipulate him. It's really annoying...I guess cause cancer's manipulate by doing the same thing, they always assume everyone is trying to play the same trick on them. Kinda twisted if you think about it....all these situations are totally twisted. Bleh....who wants twisted.

  • we do of course!!! lol. Everyone wants twisted!!!! Just kidding, kind of.

  • LOL! I think you want exciting, not twisted. I think healthy can be exciting, too. But twisted just messes you up. You don't wanna be messed up. if this was a normal 'cat and mouse' game, it would be fun and exciting. But you dont play 'cat and mouse' with someone for months and months because your taking your sweet time to make up your mind and grow a pair of nuts. And then when they get understandably confused, talk to them and treat them like they're making things up in their head. MAN....I'm really gonna give it to this guy at some point. I wanna write down all the 'WTF' moments i've had and list them off to him. He deserves to hear them.

    So, tell me more about you and your cancer. I know you guys knew each other for a reaaallly long time before you got involved.

  • We started as friends, he was married when we met I was newly divorced. He asked out one day and gave me his number and I was like you're married, and he told me he was going to ask for a divorce, I had already knew some of the background info, and was like don't divorce over a silly email, but he was like I am and I want to take you out so think about it and call me if you change your mind. I decided not to call at the time, shortly after he got a promotion and left the department we worked together in. A year later I went up to his department to do an assignment and he was like oh gem, its so good to see you let me give you my number again. and I was like you're married he was like no I'm not and so we started talking on the phone for hours and hours a few weeks later we went on our first date and had an awsome time, then he didn't call me for a few weeks. I wrote him a letter asking him what was wrong and sent it inter-departmental mail, a few days later he called and was like lets go out to breakfast instead we went back to his house and ended up fooling around but we didn't go all the way. The next day I called him and he didn't answer or return my call I was so mortified I left him a message that I knew that there may be a consequence for getting so close so fast but that I didn't realize it would be this extreme and that I wouldn't bother him again. He showed up that afternoon at my department door and was like "just who I wanted to see" he said I had an amazing time and was thinking of asking for fridays off so we can spend more time together why are you so upet? ( I had fridays off) . He invited me over that sunday and we "sealed the deal" and started seeing eachother every sunday and fridays when he didn't have to work. Little did I know he was also dating some other girl who worked in his department. She started giving me dirty looks and him sad faces but since he didn't acknowledge it I didn't. Then I found out there was another girl who use to work in his department, but had moved away to go to school (SHE was my biggest competition) the one he took to the christmas party that year we started dating in JULY..... anyway we were intimate for over 2 years with the ups downs ins outs, beggingings, endings and lots of loving until I came on this site and was like why don't these girls stand up for themselves who cares about the dudes sign, then I realized I was one of those girls and gave him the boot. When he saw he lost me it changed everything. we always had a good love life when it was good, I just never knew when he would get overwhelmed and disappear for what seemed like no reason. That changed ever since last year, our relationship is better then ever now and all of the bs seems so far in the past. LONG story short (kinda)

  • btw my cancer just dropped a huge bomb on me about our relationship and his feelings about spending the rest of our lives together he wants to move..... would you mind giving me a reading on what the future has in store (for us) if RKD decieds to move?

  • WOW. Man, when you read that story, your automatic reaction is "UGH. That guy totally doesnt deserve you, he's lucky you still wanted him." But being in the situation myself, I understand. Your story is very similar to mine, except I never slept with him, and we never like...'dated' dated, because I wasnt willing to be casual. He knew I took intimate things too seriously. But, its funny...even before any drama happened, he was always very like...he always kept me at an arms length. Like, every other girl, he would hang out with them and soak up their attention...but with me, it was always a process to get him to hang out outside of work, and I only managed to get him to do it when we were both working together and got off at the same time. I never understood why. The cards have told me its because he felt a deep connection with me and it really scared him. Which makes sense.

    Anyway, your reading:

    The High Priestess, Temperance, King of Swords

    Shadow: Three of Swords.

    Oh boy. It's not going to be easy....the beginning is going to be a huge trial for you guys. I get the feeling he isn't going to be good at communicating, which is really going to take a heavy toll on you. He's going to be too busy being a Cancer -taking his sweet time to think about things and how to deal with them properly. I think your going to really miss him, and things may be very...hazy in the beginning, at least. Your not really going to understand whats going on in his head, and he's going to be bad at trying to explain it, mostly because he probably wont know himself. The good news is I dont see you guys breaking up (at least not yet, LOL.) But I see that, at least in the beginning, if he moves and you stay put it's going to really slow down your progress as a couple. It's going to be about adjusting and it's not going to be easy for either of you.

    Sorry that wasnt happier, but it also doesnt look like the end of the world.

  • NO it's all good, we've talked extensively, I respect his deciscion, but don't believe in long distance relationships..... Um the site started to blinx out on me I was trying to ask you to do a seperate reading about this house I'm in the process of purchasing... I really want it, what can I expect?

  • btw if he moves away..... we WILL break up. I have other options and won't be sitting around like a bump on a log for too long... that's real. I already told him that this will change things and I won't expect or feel obligated for exclucitivity when he is leaving me (in my opinion). Can't have your cake and eat it too, either stay or.....go and we can "be friends". Now that I am in a stable place it's easier to think with my head instead of my heart... I'll keep you posted.... but yes please tell me if I will get this house, it's everything I ever wanted.

  • Yes, keep me posted.

    Nine of Wands, The Sun, Three of Wands

    Shadow: Knight of Wands

    I feel like it really depends on you. The sun is a good card, and shows your potential for happiness and success, but the wands cards are telling me you have to be positive and keep pushing. Believe you'll get it, keep on your toes, and it can be yours. Two cards fell out -the chariot and the queen of pentacles. These cards dephict success and comfort. So, the house can be yours, but dont let your guard down.

  • Thanks I am soo excited I'm pushin and pushin!!!! Keep you posted on both cituations, and you do the same sister

  • ok, maria, maybe you're right about us not breaking up (yet) he is not even aknowledgeing that I said we would be finished, he has this crazy idea of living with me part time. I hope he changes his mind. .. I don't know I hope he changes his mind.

  • Why...? You fought SO HARD for that guy. Look what you went through. I would at least try it out, and if it doesnt work, then break up with him. But I wouldn't be so quick to just toss a relationship away because of distance...altough, I understand why you would want to. They're incredibly difficult and rarely last (although I have seen them last. It just depends on the bond between the two people.) It also depends if he's moving like....forever or not. And if you're ever going to care enough to move along with him. Those are all things that are hard to tell now, but I would give it a chance.

  • I care? I did fight hard to make him see that I was more then some fly by night afair, because I care, but I wonder if he only cares about himself and his wants and needs. 3 of swords also indicates a love triange.... it could mean he has or will find someone elese. I know that I just don't want to be a fool... again..... btw He is going to school for 3 years.

  • are you afraid it's going to start that whole mess again? Like things finally got stable, and now that he's moving theres all this room for messiness? That makes sense...I did definitely get the impression that it wasnt going to be easy, and in the beginning it didnt seem like you were very happy. I guess you would have to really talk to him. But if he commited to you to begin with he must be serious about you. He wants you to stay together right?

  • OH yeah, just like always everytime I try to walk away he just pulls me back for more. He hasn't even aknowledged my feelings about his decision. I told him that I don't think it would be good for me, and that I can't do it.... We had a very emotional conversation about my feelings about what this would do to our relationship. I thought he understood, then the next day he's like full steam ahead with "our future" even though we are in my opinion have reached a fork in the road and he is deciding to go one way and I another. It seemed he understood that I felt that would be the end of us as we are. Then the next day he was like looks like I'll be spending at least 3 days a week at your place.... NO I'm not happy.... but he ain't gonna be happy either. Because if he moves I've decided to mininmize contact with him so that he can miss the heck out of me and come home, or if he doesn't I can move on with my life..

  • I want to say some shite that will seem really selfish on my part, but I haven't . I did a lot to make this relationship work, and I don't intend to spend the rest of my life doning a lot, giving a lot, understanding a lot.. I need some of that for me. He needs to give, understand, and do his part or f it I don't want him. Maria I don't want you to think I don't adore him, because I do, I just am not willing to be worried about him and his feelings if he is not worried about me and mine. You said you thougt that he would not be communicating and I would be missing him.... I think it is going to be the other way around. If he leaves me.... I am not going to talk to him,at least, not like we use to.

  • ..... and..... there is someone eles. I haven't cheated or anything, but there is soomeone who asked me out years ago, and I turned him down, because of this dude. If he leaves me I just may give K a chance. I don't know his sign or anything, but I see him all the time and he is sweet and nice, and into me.

  • Well, I think that makes a lot of sense. Especially after everything you put up with him already, it should be easy from here. He does, indeed, need to give the same amount as you. Though we do know that with Cancers, they tend to bottle things up. He might be scared about this whole thing and thats why he isnt putting himself too much on the cutting board. Which still isnt right...he needs to man up in that instance. You gotta do whatever is going to make you happy. Although, at least he isn't just like "Im leaving, oh well! Goodbye!" at least he still wants to be with you. That must mean something.

    As for 'K', I guess you gotta try to go with your gut. He may be into you, but are you into him?

  • I don't know I just have him in mind in the event that he moves away. If he does I will get to know k a little better. He is an engineer at our hospital, I've known him for a while, he's cute, employed, ambitous,nice, and attracted to me that's about all I know right now. Have to see what comes of this situation... As for rkd, I don't want to make it like he is uncaring or not loving towards me, cuz that's not true, its just that he totally takes for granted that I will be the one to cave... I think he thought I was going to want to move away with him... but my family, and my son's father is here, and moving away is not an option I think is viable for me. I know he loves me and I love him too, I think I've given too much and fought so hard over the years, I have no fight left, nothing eles to give, so it is up to him to fight to keep this alive, or eles.... it will die.

    I think all of this time I just needed to know that he felt I was special. That he could see what he had in me. When he did, a lot of the craziness went away, and I can't go there again, I won't, Sooooo if he needs to go to make a better life for himself, then I know that he will come back... or remember me always... either way I'll be okay

  • 😞 Man, this sucks. Maybe he wont go...does he NEED to go? I totally understand where your coming from. To go through all that, finally find stability, and then be thrown back into it again is beyond frustrating. I dont blame you for not wanting to do it again. I guess there's always the saying, if it's meant to be it will be. So maybe you guys WILL come back together. I hope you dont have to break apart at far away is he moving again? And how long would it be? 3 years?

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