Help with reading -What Relationship Would Be Like
To answer your question about "what was wrong with the relationship?", well, I think you were actually the first one to post on my thread "The Heart of a Virgo Man". He's married. Perfect in every other way, but he's married. A bit of a snag there, lol. All of the rest of this is trying to sort out whether to work around that or move on.
Nice to know that the cards are giving us accurate information, even if it's not what we'd really like to hear. I completely agree with you on your analysis of your "quickie" reading. While the World may signify a conclusion, that may be a good thing for you suggesting you have arrived at a new place about things and ready to begin a new cycle. Remember, the World is a good card, so look for the good in what this conclusion promises to bring. Reinforced by th 9 of Pentacles, I also see this suggesting that you are on your own. Whenever I get this card I ALWAYS expect to be alone. "Yes", I'm in a good space overall, but alone. I think the 3 of Cups and 4 of Cups just signal more of the same with him. He's going to keep playing for now. He knows that there is something else for him, but he isn't accepting it. Going to just sit where he's at for now.
Supposed to see R today. I sent an IM this morning just asking "Are we still getting together today? Yes?" No reply yet. (He knows I'm anxious to see him as the last time we chatted I said, "can you please let me know when you will be coming over? I do get excited to see you, I just can't help it!" He also knows what a twit I get into when he doesn't follow through. Ah, just wait and see I guess.
Pulled one card on his thoughts of me today: still the Chariot (now THAT was interesting - the consistency). Then one card asking will I see R today: 2 of Wands. Although it looks optimistic, I have learned from past experience how quickly R's day and plans can change. My best hope is always that he will simply let me know instead of leaving me hanging (as I feel very much hanging right now, lol, without some real plan in place for the day). As you would expect, I will let you know!
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Thanks for the advice. I have got some tarot cards, but since I was told that you can't do readings for yourseld, I gave it a miss. I did however try it, and I came out with positive cards, the card that reminds me of him, which is knight of cups. I also got Page of cups, ten of pentacles, the sun,the world and the wheel of fortune. I would have thought that just by looking at these cards that they were all really positive. Although i'm definetly not an expert reader, I wouldn't have found anything wrong with these cards.I just don't understand why he is giving me mixed signals all the time.
Oh, snap! I did! Damn that's a rough situation...:S And no wonder he's taking so long to decide, It's a marriage he's thinking about. That's a huge decision. It was smart to give him space, he'll sure as hell need it.
sky80 what question did you ask...?
Every coin has its direct opposite as in every sign has the involved side / enlightened and the uninvolved side or dark side. If you are soul mates, your souls will speak to each other. One often more loudly than the other but your frequency will be in harmony and most importantly you will know it. Meaning, you already know the answer to your question. You just need to look inside of your heart. I recommend the book by Linda Goodman, "LOVE SIGNS". You will never regret it. You will discover that there are typically 4 compatible signs for your particular sign. However, by reading and studying her book closely, it allows you to research basic behavioral profiles of any individuals patterns, thus giving us a heads up. Believe me, there are a lot of poorly matched marriages on this planet but if one seeks the truths found in the language of the "STARS", one is now empowered due to the fact that the stars speak pure truth, yet allowing us our free agency to heed the message or not.
You know what? I did read that book. And the one thing that stuck out for me, that almost made me cry with happiness, was the one part under Cancers and Aries that said the cancer male will love the aries female even though she is always blurting out more then she should. I cannot TELL you how my stupid aries mouth has ruined things for me in the past. It said this in the book, too. That through many painful experiences, the aries female will learn that honestly is not always the best policy. God, was she ever right. But it said that a cancer male won't be put off by this, and will love her regardless. I've always wanted to find a man who would appreciate my honesty, so thats why I was so happy to read that.
Ephraim1 - I have owned "LOVE SIGNS" for so many years I can't even remember when I got it. Possibly 20 years ago. It's pages are tattered from studying it, lol. It is certainly holding true for my Cancer woman/ Virgo man relationship. We pull apart, and come back together, over and over and over...easily forgiving each other's slights, but there is much space in between. On the flip-side her book has caused me just as much anxiety as insight in my particular situation as my Virgo man is married to a Taurus. To read Goodman's profile this is a match made in heaven. In fact after reading it, I couldn't even fathom how my Virgo could wander from such a pillar of warmth, sensuality, responsibility and nurturing. But he swears it's an emotional battlefield between them....so, I dunno.
Then I read Stella Hyde's "Darkside Zodiac" about Taurus and felt much better. Are you familiar with this book? It's a riot.
I am not one to use the term "soul mate" but I do like your idea of souls in frequency. I feel this with my Virgo and he does too; what he describes as "everything just feels right and real with you". Sadly, even if all that harmony is there, it seems that for us it is destined to exist in it's own separate place for quite some time...sigh.
Thank you for posting your lovely thoughts Dennis, I so enjoyed reading them.
Sky80 - Like MariaRia I'd be curious to know what question you asked in order to understand the results.
Ok, and a question for you. Does your Cancer guy actually know how you feel about him at this time? I am a Cancer and I can tell you, I might think I know what you feel about me but there's no way I'd have the nerve to risk the rejection that might come from actually asking. If you think there is any chance that he may not really know that you have strong feelings for him then you may want to start thinking of little ways to get your point across. If you are bold enough you could just lay it all out there and at least, once and for all, have a clear picture of where things stand between you. Just something to think about.
MariaRia - Haha, things look a little different now don't they? Ok, so here's how the day went - a case of "sometimes it doesn't feel good to be so right all the time", lol:
We planned three days ago to get together today. I said be sure to let me know when you’ll be over so I’m not left hanging. Fast forward to this morning, I still had not heard from him at all. So I sent an IM, “Still getting together today? Yes?”
Couple hours later he IM’d back he was working and just having lunch. So I called him. He said he was hoping to have the job done soon and would call me no later than 3 p.m. TWICE he said that, “no later than 3”.
By 4 o’clock, with no word of course, I tried calling to see what was up. No answer. At 5 o’clock he finally called, “sorry hun, but today’s just not going to work”. (No kidding?) So I said, “well, I’m off work tomorrow too, would that be better?” “Oh no, that’s even worse, my busiest day of the week”. So my heart is sinking knowing now it will be over a week that I’ll even have a chance to see him (I have my sons every other week and we never get together those weeks.) Then he says, “it has to be Friday”. I immediately said, “but you know I’m not off until 2 on Friday, and get the boys at 6.” So he says, “but I cleared my schedule and moved my afternoon job to Monday so that I can be with you. I wanted things all clear so I wouldn’t disappoint you.” AAAAAARGH!
It sounds so thoughtful doesn’t it? He is actually moving his work schedule to make time to spend with me. Yeah, except that I won’t believe it’s happening until I see it, and how does one explain the fact that he couldn’t have simply pulled the same thing off today when he had three days to plan it? Why not do today’s job on Friday? These are not questions worth asking btw, because I will not get a straight answer. Today his work just ended up bumping me and that’s that. Will Friday really be any different? Who knows? Do I hurt a little bit every time he makes and breaks plans? You bet I do, and I also get a little angry for how it alters how I might have planned my day otherwise. These are the days that always push me to the edge, and there are far too many of them. I’m not necessarily blaming him. The man is supporting a wife and four kids, he’s got to work. Just would it have killed him to call me for 2 seconds earlier in the day and tell me our plans were off? Then, before he hung up, he told me to log on the IM tonight at ten so he can say “hi” before he goes to bed. (Nice extra touch, eh?) I have about zero confidence that he will actually be there at ten, but of course I will check and when he’s not, I’ll leave my “hi” just to let him know I didn’t forget HIM.
Oh look, it's past 10:30 and no sign of "R". Wow MariaRia, thinking about how the day went I do believe I have psychic abilities when it comes to "R". Hahaha.
I'm going to do a reading and see what I get. There must be some aspect to the Chariot that I don't understand. I thought it meant balance and ultimate victory. Maybe the victory is yet to come? Maybe "R" is still on the fence over seeing me and bought himself a little more time to think or even to see if I was going to get mad for him changing plans? I'll let you know what the reading says.
I just read the Aries part of that book and apparently I am a crazy, gold digging commitment phobe. Watch out, boys! I like Linda's book better, LOL.
Wow while I was posting that you posted stuff! Whoopsies!
To me, the chariot means more of getting control of your goals and heading in that direction. My chariot has the horses going out of control, and the charioter looks terrified. So, again, emphasis for me is on taking control. I dont see victory, but I do see action. He is taking steps towards something, but maybe it's only mental at the moment. Or, maybe this is part of his plan. There could be other reasons friday is better.
And can I say how much I EFFING hate it when guys tell you they're going to do something, they blatantly dont do it, and then dont get it when we get flaming pissed? It sounds like he's kind of messing with you a bit. Maybe seeing how much control he has over you...? maybe thats what the chariot means.
So...i've been thinking, even though I shouldnt. I thought back to before, a while ago, when we spent a lot more time together. We got a little intimate on several occasions, and I wanted to know why he would do that when he knew I liked him, if he had no interest in me. Obviously, there is the male reason....but im trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, to see if he isnt just a total dickhead. So...I asked the tarot. I asked "Why was J intimate with me?" and got:
Two of Cups
Ace of Cups
Seven of Wands
So....wasn't expecting this. The weird thing is I had a flash of the two of cups in my mind as I was asking the question, so I hope I didn't make that appear there. I dont know...the first two cards look like good feelings, but the rest confuse me. I dont know how to look at this spread objectively. Oh why did I ask....
MariaRia - My usual 7 card spread, question "what is "R" thinking about things between us at this point?":
9 of Pentacles
Page of Wands
King of Cups
Queen of Wands
10 of Wands
7th Card - The Magician (again...lol)
High Priestess is a vague card for me. Intuition, deep meanings, stillness...what's your take on this card? Does that combination perhaps suggest that he sees us both as deep and spiritual people, standing on our own, generally situated in life, but still unfullfilled? Now we/he's trying to communicate with more understanding and compassion. We're trying to pull things back together between us. I like the power of the King in this one because it suggests the effort to return to a place of caring and understanding is at a strong level. As frustrated as we seem to get with each other, we are pretty good at forgiveness as well.
I don't like that Queen of Wands/ 10 of wands combo. I'm always the Queen of Pentacles. Perhaps just the energy of the card in the situation - staying postive, courageous, going after a goal in spite of the burdens that exist for both of us/between us?
Then the Magician again - taking action, being creative, getting results - making things happen like magic. (It would sure feel like magic if he would actually make a plan and stick to it, hahaha! Maybe he's going to decide to make a better effort on his side to help keep what we have between us going?)
I generally think this is a postive spread. Nothing earth-shaking, which is just fine. Open to your suggestion on any negatives that I may be "selectively" ignoring, lol.
You want to know the spread I really want to see, but don't have the nerve to do? The question of "what does "R" really feel about things between he and his wife?" Like HiP090 was alluding to, that subconscious element that is at play. Is he really firm in his negative feelings or is that just surface stuff masking a deeper issue. Feel free to do that one for me MariaRia, but don't tell me the results or that you even did it, unless they would make me happy. I'm not ready for anything else right now, lol. I'd rather muddle my way through this a bit more rather than be slam-dunked with a big painful truth. It will, afterall, all come out in the end.
I like your thoughts on the Chariot, you are right. It is more of an issue of control at play here. I even wondered if he hadn't preplanned the "unexpected" turn of events today to see if I was going to be understanding about it or go off on one of my standard, "emotional Cancer in pain outbursts". You know, I don't mind playing a few head games myself (given my Virgo ascendent, it is kind of a sport) but I came out of a 13 year marriage to a control-freak scorpio. Woe to me if I get lured into another situation like that. Something to think about here.
I'll come back to your reading need to think on it a bit.
This magician is freaking me out, with all these things he keeps telling you he's going to do and then not doing them. I've seen a lot of people depict the magician as 'manipulation', and I don't know if you read the post I wrote to you before this, but I did mention how it sounded like he was messing with you a bit today. To see your reaction, I guess. Or maybe to see if he still has control in the relationship.
The high priestess and 9 of pents are both independent, mysterious women. I think the 9 of pents is mysterious because you have no idea whats actually going on in her life. She obviously has everything she needs, but she's alone. Or is she...? You don't actually know. So, if this is what he's thinking about in regards to your past, perhaps he's thinking that you were a little...distant? Maybe he sees you as very independent, traditional, and perhaps that's intimidating. Maybe he never really understood what was going on in your head...? You mentioned you guys had a strong connection, so maybe that's not it. I think he's thinking about you.
King of Cups and page of wands confuses me a little. King of cups is about a very emotional person (pretty much a cancer...so, there you are!) and the page is about heading on a new adventure, kind of thing. He's probably thinking about what direction to go in in regards to the relationship with you, which is what he should be thinking about.
Queen and ten of wands for the future....maybe good communication that will lift the burden you both feel? QoW is my card, and I talk about everything and anything, and thats why i associate that card with me. Hopefully this means he'll open up and tell you what he feels and thinks, which will be a relief to both of you.
Hopefully the magician just points to the need and desire for a positive change in your relationship.
I did the spread...but ive never done one for someone ive never met over the net before, so i have nooooooo idea if its accurate. And I dont know what to make of it, either. So I wont show you, because it'll probably confuse you.
MariaRia - What a mess, lol. It's like he wants a loving, solid relationship but at the same time he withdraws from it, actually fights it, perhaps prefers his solitude over a really deep partnership or still can't quite make sense of it within himself? That ongoing inner struggle over intense emotional desires vs. his freedom. He is a Cancer, deep down we ALL aspire to a good, strong, loving relationship. But how many men I've known who want love and intimacy - when they want it - and otherwise they don't want to be tied down.
Ugh, I hate the Justice card, it's another one that trips me up as far as trying to tie it into a relationship context. Other than the most basic level of fairness and balance. But what he's been up to doesn't sound fair or balanced. Maybe he justifies to himself that somehow it is? He is standing by his personal convictions so strongly that he feels he is justified in his actions? That 7 of wands suggests that he's prepared to fight for something he believes in or will be defiant about his actions.
Honestly, I think you may have nailed it when you said he was being a typical guy, lol. But that is not to say he will always be that way. Not that I see that in the cards, just guys being guys, sometimes they can still grow up to be thoughtful and sensitive human beings. But for now you KNOW this guy has a wild hair in him that isn't ready to settle down, so this shouldn't really shock you if it is the case that he just saw an opportunity for some affection and took it.
So you are an Aries? I thought you were a Taurus. Well scratch what I said in an earlier post about Cancer and Taurus for you. Ooops! Guess I need to look more closely at the shape of the horns on the icons, lol.
Hey MariaRia, you stinker, of course now that you've told me you did the spread i want to know what you got.
Here's what "R" tells me he feels about his wife: he loves her as the mother of the most important things in his life - his kids, he wishes things could be different but she won't budge, they fight relentlessly over big and petty issues, he claims they have no intimacy and he sleeps on the sofa, she is aloof, keeps her distance, not even a warm hello when he comes home from work, just kind of a "hmph", and when he is home tends to just let him deal with the kids while she hangs out in the bedroom watching t.v., she hates all his friends says they are bad influences on him, doesn't like to go out and socialize because of it, she's a sloppy housekeeper and generally lazy, doesn't take care of herself, has grown overweight, and in general they don't like to do any of the same things in life. On a softer note he says he believes she tries her best, and she is a good mother, and he thinks that she is just very immature, never having had to take care of herself because she went "straight from the arms of her mother to his" at the age of 18.
Now, having said all of that, does any of it make sense with the cards you pulled? Even without doing a reading my sense is that if she would meet him in the middle somehow on some of these issues he'd be willing to try to make things work. She's 31 years old though and to me that's reaching an age where people aren't too likely to change. I've even wondered sometimes if he wouldn't like to get caught cheating just to try to shock her into thinking about what he really means to him. The mere fact that he could go on such a rant about her faults tells me there's possibly a fair amount of pain there. The question is, is it unresolved pain or is it more past history, like this is the pain she put me through and I am done?
Meanwhile, I've grilled him mercilessly on these issues and he still insists that he's done with her emotionally, but he's in this for the sake of his kids right now.
Soo, was that any help? Obviously you've got me wondering now!
Oh and ditto your thoughts on the Magician. I have not overlooked it's implication of "trickster", trying to make me believe what he wants me to believe. But my wonder would be over the source of that, would he be messing with me to try to keep things between us under control until such time as things can be different between us (we're talking the potential of years here) or is he selfishly stringing me along for his own egocentric purposes. Frankly, I see him about once a month at this point so if he's keeping me around for intimate reasons, well, all I gotta say is he sure isn't getting much out of the deal, lol. Based on the other readings I tend to think there's some sincerity in him, but let's face it, he lives in a world of lies. He feels his whole marriage is a lie right now. Obviously "we" are just one part of his overall world of deception. Maybe he's fooling everybody he knows right now, even himself!
Yah i'm.....an Aries. LOL. You know what? I'm asking all these questions because I want to know if this guy is actually a prick, or if he's just a confused, emotional Cancer. I can forgive him for not being able to figure out what he wants. I can't forgive him for leading me on just for my attention, or an ego boost. I think your right when you say he just wants to be free right now, but I think he can't seem to let go of my affections. So he wants to keep me around, but not too close, so it doesn't impede on his freedom. When he comes around, I don't know if it'll be for me. Maybe he just doesn't like me enough? I remember once (we were drunk) I said that to him, and he said "No, I actually like you a lot, I just know I'm not ready for a relationship." And when I told my friends that, they scoffed and said that was royal BS. But maybe he was actually telling the truth...
I guess it's all a matter of 'do I listen to these cancer forums that say they freak out and run away and yadda yadda...or do I listen to the age old 'he's just not that into you' and chalk it up to pure and simple not enough interest.' But it doesn't really matter. I gotta get over him anyhow.
Thanks for all your help, Jenever. I hope Im helping you, too.
Oh my god....that makes PERFECT sense! Crazy!
Okay here's the spread:
Past: 7 of wands, Ace of Cups
Present: Page of Wands, 8 of Pent
Future: 6 of wands, Tower
The thing you said about the mother thing makes so much sense with the empress as the over all card. I was thinking when I pulled it "So...he definitely sees her as a mother figure."
The past, I see him battling with his feelings, trying to make things work. Or, there is obviously turmoil over emotion in the relationship in general. Like he said, she won't budge.
The present, I see him giving up on working things out. The page of wands is pointing away from the 8 of pents, and is starting on a new journey. Or, he's taking a new direction in the way he deals with their relationship.
The future, I see some kind of victory achieved through some major change, or information revealed that will change things in a way that he likes. Now....what this is, i'm not sure. These are his feelings towards his wife, so obviously something is going to happen to his liking between them. Divorce, understanding....?
Does that reaffirm what he says for you....?